1 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry 12 and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. 13 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. 14 So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. 15 For some have already strayed after Satan. 16 If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows. – 1 Timothy 5:1-16 ESV
In the closing part of chapter 4, Paul gave Timothy three essential tasks to master if he wanted to be successful as a man of God. He must teach others, train himself to live a godly life, and he must model what it means to love and serve God. Now Paul gives Timothy additional concrete examples of how to apply what he is learning to everyday life within the body of Christ.
While Paul encouraged Timothy to never “let anyone think less of you because you are young” (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT), he also wanted his young protégé to refrain from arrogantly flaunting his position as a shepherd of God or treating those under his care with disrespect. He was to give special attention to his relationships with older men and women in the church, honoring them as he would his own father and mother by showing them the respect they were due. Timothy was also to view the younger members of the church as his brothers and sisters in Christ, treating the young men with dignity and interacting with the young women in purity.
Paul wanted Timothy to know that being a minister of the gospel wasn’t just about disseminating information and doling out discipline to the unruly and unfaithful; everything hinged on relationships. The church was a family, a God-ordained collection of individuals from all walks of life who had been divinely joined together and commanded to care for, love, and support one another. Personality conflicts, disagreements, and each individual’s residual sin natures would tend to cause conflict within the local body of Christ. So Timothy needed to know how to handle the practical side of ministry: people and the personal problems they bring to the table.
The church always has constant needs. In Paul’s day, widows were a significant concern because, in the cultural context of the 1st Century, widows tended to be overlooked and neglected. Women were often considered second-class citizens with few rights and privileges, and marriage was their safety net. Being a wife and mother was necessary for most women, providing a roof over their heads, respect within the community, and a way to make ends meet in a culture where jobs for women were few and far between. That’s why widows were especially vulnerable. They were viewed as having little value and were neglected by the culture at large. But Paul encouraged Timothy to care for widows who had become part of God’s family.
He was to see that they were cared for, knowing these women looked to God as their help and source of hope. The church was to be the hands and feet of Christ, ministering to these women and ensuring their families cared for them properly. When no family members could meet their needs, Timothy was to make sure the family of God stepped in and cared for them properly.
As usual, these cases are never cut-and-dried. There are always underlying circumstances that must be considered and dealt with. It would be much easier if we could just say, “Take care of the widows in the church,” but circumstances often make our decisions a bit more difficult and a shade more grey than black-and-white.
Timothy was to consider all circumstances regarding widows. He had to factor in their age, existing family relationships, and most importantly, their character. Not every widow was to be the church’s responsibility. Careful consideration was required when investigating the needs of these women. In some cases, their families were to be confronted and held accountable for having neglected their care. Obviously, there were cases where grown children had chosen to ignore the needs of their own mothers. This was unacceptable, and the church was not obligated to take on the responsibility.
Paul recommended that younger widows not be added to the “list” of those who received regular support from the church because they could still remarry, have their own families, and access a reliable means of support. Paul’s statements suggest he expected the older widows who received care from the church to willingly dedicate their lives and service to the body of Christ in return for financial support. Evidently, they agreed not to remarry, dedicating themselves to the service of God and the church instead. Younger women, if added to this list and then presented with the opportunity to remarry, would find it hard to keep that kind of commitment.
These verses address a very specific issue that was a real problem in the Ephesian church, but it is more descriptive than prescriptive. In other words, Paul was not establishing a binding rule or law for the church. These 16 verses should not be interpreted as a non-negotiable biblical requirement for the care of widows in the local church. But they do offer an insightful glimpse into the careful consideration shepherds must apply when caring for their flock.
The bottom line is that the church is to be all about relationships. It can be messy and, at times, difficult. Variables and circumstances can make decision-making anything but easy. We must consider many things when dealing with people and relationships, and must apply a careful combination of biblical wisdom and common sense. Timothy needed to do his homework, considering carefully and prayerfully what God would have him do, always striving to treat everyone with dignity, respect, and honor. And the same is true for us today.
Father, the body of Christ really is a family, a sometimes complicated and messy household of disparate individuals whose personalities, problems, and sinful dispositions can make community difficult and unity almost impossible. But You designed it to function in the Spirit’s power, equipped with His gifts, guided by Your Word., and motivated by the bond of love. It isn’t always easy but, because it is Your will, it produces the fruit of righteousness and makes the church a beacon of hope in a sin-darkened world. The local church should be a place where the love of Christ is not only taught, but displayed. Your Son told us, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35 NLT). He also encouraged us to let our “good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father” (Matthew 5:16 NLT). That is what Paul was calling Timothy to do and it would require a careful assessment of every relationship with the church at Ephesus. No one was to be neglected and no sin was to be overlooked. The well-being of the entire body was dependent upon the spiritual health of each individual. I love how Paul put it to the church in Corinth: “God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad” (1 Corinthians 12:24-26 NLT). May that be the attitude within every household of faith where Your children gather to worship. Help us display Your grace and goodness to one another so that the lost will know that our faith in Christ is truly life-transforming. Amen.
English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
