The Book of 1 Corinthians

For the Sake of the Gospel.

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For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. – 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 ESV

Paul knew his rights all too well. But he didn’t let his rights get in the way or become a hindrance to his God-given assignment to share the gospel. In fact, Paul says that he made himself a servant to all. The Greek word he uses is δουλόω (douloō), which means “to make a slave of” (“G1402 – douloō – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 16 Aug, 2016. <https://www.blueletterbible.org). Metaphorically, which is how Paul uses it here, it meant to “give myself wholly to one’s needs and service, make myself a bondman to him). As far as Paul was concerned, he would rather consider himself a slave to everyone, than to demand his rights or selfishly flaunt his freedoms in Christ. In fact, while he understood himself to be “free from all”, free from their judgment, criticism, demands, legalistic requirements, false accusations, and unrealistic expectations, he willingly chose to serve them. He even describes what he means by that. When he was with the Jews, he lives like a Jew, even though he was free from having to do so. When in their company, he would keep the law, out of a desire to win them to Christ. When he was with Gentiles, he would set aside the law of Moses, because they were not obligated to keep it (and neither was he). Instead, he would live under the law of Christ – the law of love. Paul told the Galatians, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 ESV). This is the exact opposite of how the Pharisees lived. Jesus said of them, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger” (Matthew 23:4 ESV).

Paul’s philosophy of ministry and life was simple: “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some” (1 Corinthians 9:22 ESV). His ultimate goal was their salvation. His freedoms took a back seat in order that he might see them find freedom from sin and death through faith in Christ. Everything he did was for the sake of the gospel. To him, it was unacceptable to think of putting his needs above those of others, either the saved or the lost. He spent his life selflessly sacrificing himself and putting his needs and rights in second place. He describes the impact this attitude had on his life in his second letter to the Corinthians:

I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm. – 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 NLT

Why was Paul willing to go through all of this? So that he might share the gospel with those who had not yet heard it. As he so clearly states, “I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings” (1 Corinthians 9:23 ESV). He had experienced the blessings of the gospel first hand and was not willing for anyone to miss out on hearing the same message that had radically transformed his life. It is interesting to note that many of us, while highly appreciative of what the gospel has done for us, are unwilling to share it with others. We allow our rights and freedoms to get in the way and hinder us from telling others of the good news of Jesus Christ. We feel we have a right not to associate with those who don’t believe as we do. But Paul would ask us, “how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?” (Romans 10:14 NLT). We are not free to do as we please. We have an obligation, an assignment from God, to take the gospel to the ends of the earth. We have been given a job to do. “God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God!’” (2 Corinthians 5:18-20 NLT).

We exist for the sake of the gospel. We sacrifice for the sake of the gospel. We die to self for the sake of the gospel. We give up our rights for the sake of the gospel. We forego our freedoms for the sake of the gospel. We do all things for the sake of the gospel.

 

An Unobstructed Gospel.

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Do I say these things on human authority? Does not the Law say the same? For it is written in the Law of Moses, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain.” Is it for oxen that God is concerned? Does he not certainly speak for our sake? It was written for our sake, because the plowman should plow in hope and the thresher thresh in hope of sharing in the crop. If we have sown spiritual things among you, is it too much if we reap material things from you? If others share this rightful claim on you, do not we even more?

Nevertheless, we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ. Do you not know that those who are employed in the temple service get their food from the temple, and those who serve at the altar share in the sacrificial offerings? In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel.

But I have made no use of any of these rights, nor am I writing these things to secure any such provision. For I would rather die than have anyone deprive me of my ground for boasting. For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward, but if not of my own will, I am still entrusted with a stewardship. What then is my reward? That in my preaching I may present the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel. – 1 Corinthians 9:8-18 ESV

At first glance, it might appear that Paul is making a bigger deal out of all this than might be necessary. It seems that he is belaboring the point that he has the right to compensation for his work as an apostle. After all, he was the one who helped plant the church in Corinth by sharing the gospel with them in the first place. But Paul has a much greater issue in mind here: The gospel. This really isn’t about peoples’ rights to eat meat sacrificed to idols or Paul’s right to remuneration for his ministry activities. It is about the responsibility of every believer to ensure that the gospel is presented clearly and represented accurately to a lost and dying world. Paul said, “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” (1 Corinthians 9:16b ESV). He was obligated by Christ to preach the gospel to the Gentiles. It was his God-given commission. And he was not going to let anything stand in the way of him accomplishing his responsibility, including demanding his rights to have all his financial and material needs taken care of by those under his care. 

Paul made it clear that he had every right to expect compensation. He used the Mosaic law to defend his rights. Even an ox treading grain was left unmuzzled and allowed to eat as it worked. The man who plows the field and the one who threshes the harvested wheat both do so in hopes of getting their fair share of the crop. And there were others who ministered to the Corinthians who were being compensated for their efforts. So why not Paul and Barnabas? Were they not just as deserving? But Paul said, “we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ” (1 Corinthians 9:12 ESV). Paul didn’t want anyone being able to say he did what he did for money. He refused to give anyone the satisfaction of accusing him of doing ministry for self-serving reasons. The gospel was too important to him. He was willing to give up his rights for the sake of the gospel.

Paul’s whole approach to the gospel was different than that of others. He saw himself as compelled by God to do what he did. He couldn’t help but preach the gospel. It was not something he had decided to do on his own initiative. It had not been his idea. He had been called by God and given a non-negotiable command to take the gospel to the Gentiles. If Paul was doing this on his own, he would have every right to demand payment for his services, just like every other teacher or rabbi. But Paul saw his reward as coming from God, not man. He had a radically different perspective: “What then is my pay? It is the opportunity to preach the Good News without charging anyone. That’s why I never demand my rights when I preach the Good News” (1 Corinthians 9:18 NLT). For Paul, it was rewarding to be able to share the gospel free of charge. So he paid his own way. He covered his own expenses or was aided by the generous contributions of others who supported his ministry. In fact, in his second letter to the Corinthians, he explains how he was able to minister to them without demanding anything in return.

Was I wrong when I humbled myself and honored you by preaching God’s Good News to you without expecting anything in return? I “robbed” other churches by accepting their contributions so I could serve you at no cost. And when I was with you and didn’t have enough to live on, I did not become a financial burden to anyone. For the brothers who came from Macedonia brought me all that I needed. I have never been a burden to you, and I never will be.  – 2 Corinthians 11:7-9 NLT

The bottom line was that Paul was more interested in spreading the gospel than getting what he rightfully deserved. He labored long and hard. He sacrificed greatly in order to travel around the known world at that time, taking the good news of Jesus Christ to lands in which the name of Jesus had not yet been heard. He suffered physically. He did without financially and materially. But he was able to tell the Philippians, “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT). He did what he did for the sake of Christ and in the power of Christ.

Remember what Paul has already said to the Corinthians earlier in this letter.

Even now we go hungry and thirsty, and we don’t have enough clothes to keep warm. We are often beaten and have no home. We work wearily with our own hands to earn our living. We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. We appeal gently when evil things are said about us. Yet we are treated like the world’s garbage, like everybody’s trash—right up to the present moment. – 1 Corinthians 4:11-13 NLT

Why was Paul willing to suffer such things? He gives us his answer: “We would rather put up with anything than be an obstacle to the Good News about Christ.” (1 Corinthians 9:12b NLT). When my rights get in the way of getting the good news out, I become an obstacle to the will of God. I have allowed my rights to take precedence over the primacy of the gospel. When facing the prospect of losing His own life, Jesus was able to say, “not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42 ESV). He gave up His rights as the Son of God to be honored and treated with the highest esteem. Instead, He allowed those He had created to humiliate Him and take His life. All for the sake of the gospel. Are we not willing to give up our rights and die to our own wills so that others might hear the good news?

Loving Others. Not Self.

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Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are not you my workmanship in the Lord? If to others I am not an apostle, at least I am to you, for you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.

This is my defense to those who would examine me. Do we not have the right to eat and drink? Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas? Or is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working for a living? Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard without eating any of its fruit? Or who tends a flock without getting some of the milk? – 1 Corinthians 9:1-7 ESV

While Paul was on the issue of rights and the Christian’s need to die to them, he took the opportunity to address his rights as an apostle. There were evidently those in Corinth who were questioning if he really was an apostle at all. Others may have been by confused by some of Paul’s actions, because at times he did not appear to behave as an apostle. Some of this had to do with how Paul had handled himself when he had ministered among the the Corinthians. Rather than allow the Corinthians to meet all his financial needs and provide him with food and shelter, Paul and Barnabas had chosen to work (Acts 18:3). Evidently, other apostles, like Peter, had a reputation for bringing their wives with them while doing ministry and the churches were expected to cover their expenses as well. Paul didn’t fall into this category because he had no wife. But Paul’s point is that he had every right to expect the Corinthians to care for him while he was ministering among them. And if he had been married, he would have had the right to bring his wife with him and expect the church to pay her way. But Paul didn’t do those things. And yet that did not make him any less an apostle of Jesus Christ. He met the criteria. First of all, he had seen the risen Lord and had been commissioned by Him to take the gospel to the Gentiles. He was every bit an apostle as much as Peter, James or John. And the Corinthians themselves were living proof of his apostleship, because their lives had been changed because of his ministry.

Paul gives three illustrations from daily life to prove his right to expect compensation and care from the Corinthians. First of all, he uses the example of a soldier. No member of the military is expected to pay his own way. He serves on behalf of the people, giving his time and, if necessary, his life in defense of his nation. In return, the citizens of that nation pay his salary and supply his needs for food, clothing and shelter. It is a mutually beneficial arrangement. The second illustration Paul uses is that of a farmer and his vineyard. No farmer in his right mind would plant a vineyard and not expect to benefit from the fruit that it yields. He is the one who tilled the soil, planted the vines and harvested the grapes. As a result, he had every right to enjoy the fruits of his labors. The final illustration Paul gives is the shepherd. To deny a shepherd the benefit of the milk his flocks provide would be ludicrous and unfair. He is the one who has provided for and protected the sheep, keeping them well-fed and safe, so he should be the one who enjoys some of the benefits of his hard work.

As we will see a little later on in this same chapter, the main concern Paul had was not regarding his rights but about the integrity of the gospel. His primary goal was that the gospel not be hindered in any way. That is why he and Barnabas had chosen to work rather than demanding their rights and expecting the Corinthians to pay their way. These two men did not want the Corinthians to resent their presence or reject the gospel because of a financial burden. So they willingly gave up their rights. Remember, this goes back to chapter eight and Paul’s warnings about those in the church who were allowing their “knowledge” of right and wrong to cause their brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble. They were allowing their rights to cause them to do wrong. And Paul was simply using himself as an illustration of how dying to one’s rights is the right thing to do some times.

At the core of the gospel is the message of love – God’s love for mankind. He sent His Son to die in the place of sinful men and women, out of love. Jesus had told His disciples that they were to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12 ESV). In the very next verse, Jesus gave what He believed to be was the greatest expression of love for another human being. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13 ESV). And in keeping with His teaching, Jesus would do just that, giving His life as the consummate expression of His love for mankind. The apostle John wrote, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:12 ESV). And that was Paul’s primary point in his letter to the Corinthians. Just as Paul had been willing to give up his rights and lay down his life for them, he was expecting them to do the same. The gospel is not about rights, but about righteousness. It is about dying to self and living for God, which means loving those whom He has made in His image. God did not save us to make us isolated islands of self-righteousness where our rights rule the day. He saved us so that we might die to self and live for Him. And one of the best ways we can express our love for God is by loving those around us, sharing the gospel message of reconciliation in both words and actions. Jesus Himself made it perfectly clear and simple: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 15:35 ESV).

When Rights Are Wrong.

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Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.

Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist. However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. – 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 ESV

With the opening words of this chapter, Paul reveals that he is answering yet another one of the questions sent to him by the church in Corinth. It had to do with food offered to idols. To modern, 21st-Century Christians, this will sound like a strange discussion that has nothing to do with us, and little in the way of practical application. But Paul’s primary point has to do with knowledge and what we do with it, especially in our interactions with “weaker” or less spiritually mature Christians and with the lost.

There are two major views as to what was going on in the Corinthian fellowship that caused them to raise this question with Paul. The more traditional view is that there were former pagans in the church who had come to faith in Christ and who were still buying meat in the marketplace that had been sacrificed to idols. It was a common practice for pagan priests to offer sell in the market some of the meat left over from a sacrifice to their god. This was considered good, high-quality meat. The converted pagans in the church knew that the meat was good and they also knew that there was no such thing as idols. So their conclusion was that it was perfectly acceptable to buy and eat the meat and even serve it to their believing friends. And Paul confirms their conclusion when he writes, “we know that ‘an idol has no real existence,’ and that ‘there is no God but one’’ (1 Corinthians 8:4b ESV). Their “knowledge” or understanding of the matter was correct, but that same knowledge was a source of pride. It was causing them to look past the negative influence they were having on their fellow church members. There were younger, less mature believers in the church who did not yet understand the truth regarding idols. Paul writes, “not all possess this knowledge” (1 Corinthians 8:7a ESV). These people were confused by the actions of their fellow church members. And when they saw what they were doing, they were tempted to sin against their consciences. They could not help but eat that same meat and feel like they were being unfaithful to God. The spiritual arrogance of their brothers and sisters in Christ was causing them to stumble in regard to their faith.

But there is a second view regarding what was going on in Corinth that carries an even more shocking indictment on those who were eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols. It seems that this was more than just a case of buying meat at the market and serving it for dinner in your home. The problem involved a continuing practice of eating meat sacrificed to idols in the very temple dedicated to that idol. In verse 10, Paul writes, “For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols?” It seems that there were those who had gone back to celebrating at the feasts as part of the worship of the false gods. These were common affairs in the Greek culture and were well-attended. They were social gatherings where the community came to worship their god and to share a celebratory meal together. Evidently, there were believers in the church in Corinth who were attending these meals and justifying their behavior based on their “knowledge” regarding the non-existence of idols. Their reasoning was that if idols do not exist and God is the one true god, then what difference does it make whether we eat meat in the temple of an idol or not. And while their logic made perfect sense, they were leaving out the Savior’s admonition that we love one another. They were disregarding the spiritual well-being of those within their fellowship who might be confused by their actions and caused to follow their lead.

For Paul, the issue had little to do with meat sacrificed to idols, eating in temples, or spiritual knowledge. In fact, he simply states, “this ‘knowledge’ puffs up, but love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1b ESV). Their knowledge had led to pride and arrogance, rather than love. They cared more about their so-called rights than they did about the spiritual well-being of their fellow believers. They enjoyed eating meals in the temple. The food was good and the fellowship was great. They got to be with all their pagan friends and act as if nothing had changed in their lives. They may have even used the excuse that being in the temple with their lost friends and neighbors gave them the opportunity to share the gospel. But Paul knew that their actions were motivated by selfishness, not selflessness. They were doing what they did for themselves, not for the sake of others.

Paul makes it clear that the issue has nothing to do with meat. He writes, “Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do” (1 Corinthians 8:8 ESV). But the issue is about rights. “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak” (1 Corinthians 8:9 ESV). For Paul, it was simple. He would rather give up meat altogether if it was going to cause a brother to stumble. It wasn’t worth it. If our freedoms in Christ cause a brother or sister in Christ to become enslaved to their own sin, we have missed the whole point of the gospel. Not only that, Paul says that we have actually sinned against them and against Christ. We have become a stumbling block in their spiritual path. As Christians, we have certain rights based on our newfound freedom in Christ. But when we let those rights tempt our brothers and sisters in Christ to do wrong, we stand as guilty before God. My rights should never deter another believer in their pursuit of righteousness. It would be better to die to my rights than to die for them.

Undivided Devotion.

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I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-40 ESV

There is little doubt that Paul’s view is a bit idealistic. His motivation is sincere, but he is looking at the situation through the lens of his own life. He was a single man who had totally dedicated his life to the mission of spreading the gospel among the Gentile nations. He was totally committed to the commission given to him by Christ and would not allow anything or anyone to distract him. When Paul said, “I wish that all were as I myself am” (1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV), he was referring to his singleness. To the unmarried, he stated his opinion that “it is good for them to remain single as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8 ESV).

Paul knows that life is difficult. It is full of commitments and requirements on one’s time. There are the daily demands of life such as work, providing for one’s family, relational issues, societal demands and expectations. And for the married individual, those things multiply exponentially. Which is why Paul advocated singleness. But this is where his idealistic nature comes out. He says, “the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32 ESV). Not necessarily, Paul. There are plenty of unmarried men and women who find themselves anxious about anything and everything but the Lord. Singleness is not an antidote to spiritual distraction or the cure for an anemic commitment to Christ. There is no doubt that the fewer earthly commitments and distractions we have, the easier it should be for us to dedicate our time and attention to the things of God. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

Paul writes, “the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:33 ESV). He is not saying a husband’s commitment to care for the needs of his wife and family are wrong. He is simply emphasizing the reality that the married individual will have a more difficult time finding the time to serve God without neglecting his family. Again, Paul is not indicating that caring for one’s wife and family is somehow non-spiritual or insignificant. In reality, Paul knew well that a Christian was required by God to love his or her spouse and family well. They were required to live out their faith in Christ within the context of the marriage union. To be a godly wife or husband was a huge commitment. That seems to be Paul’s point. As a single man, Paul was completely free to go and do whatever God demanded of him. He had few, if any, commitments that would keep him from responding to God’s call on his life.

Ideally, “the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” (1 Corinthians 7:34 ESV). For Paul, singleness brought a singularity of focus and he longed for others to experience that same freedom from earthly commitments and concerns. It wasn’t that he experienced no anxiety in his life, but that any anxious moments he had were usually associated with his mission as God’s apostle. Any worries he had were not about domestic issues, but about the state of the church. At one point, he told the Galatians, “I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!” (Galatians 4:12 ESV). His concern for their spiritual growth was like a woman anxiously enduring the pains of labor as she waits for her child to arrive healthy and whole. Paul had few worldly distractions. He didn’t have a “honey-do” list. He had no car pool duties, no soccer games to attend, recitals to sit through, or do-it-yourself tasks to perform around the house. He was free to worry about the things of God. And Paul wanted that for each and every believers. Which is why he wrote, “ I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible” (1 Corinthians 7:36 NLT).

Paul makes it clear that he is not making the single individual more spiritual than a married one. To get married was not a sin. To remain single did not make you a super saint. For Paul, it was a matter of practicality. Single people have fewer distractions and demands on their time. They have more discretion regarding their time.  Paul told Timothy, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him” (2 Timothy 2:4 ESV). He seems to have had in mind a stipulation within the Mosaic law that read, “When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken” (Deuteronomy 24:5 ESV).  Undivided attention is difficult when you have divided allegiances. Paul’s primary point in all of this has to do with devotion to God. He believed strongly that he was living in the last days. He lived as if Christ was going to return at any moment. There was no time to waste. The gospel needed to be taken to the ends of the earth. The message of good news in Jesus Christ needed to be heard by every person on every continent. To accomplish that formidable mission, Paul knew he needed the help of every able-bodied believer. He simply wanted the Corinthians to know that he was out to “secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:36 ESV). As Jesus had said, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few” (Luke 10:2 ESV).

 

 

Living With Eternity In Mind.

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Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. – 1 Corinthians 7:25-31 ESV

For the second time, Paul uses the phrase, “now concerning.” It would appear that he is answering yet another question that he had received from the church in Corinth regarding particular matters with which they were struggling. He opened this chapter with the words, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote” (1 Corinthians 7:1 ESV). He has addressed the issue of sexual abstinence, agreeing that it is good, but that due to sexual temptation, it would be better to get married than to “burn with passion.” He has warned that sexual abstinence within marriage is viable only under one condition: that the couple do so in order to dedicate themselves to prayer. Otherwise, they should act as if their bodies do not belong to themselves, but to one another. Paul has indicated his desire that those who are single, remain so, so that they might dedicate all their energies to serving the Lord. But he knew that to do so and remains sexually pure would require a special gifting from God. Without it, they would be better off getting married. Those married to unbelievers should not seek a divorce, but remain in their marriage and have a godly influence on their spouse and children. And everyone should seek to remain as they were when God called them. There was no need for a radical change in circumstance, as much as a need for heart change. Slaves should seek to be godly slaves, rather than spending all their time obsessed with gaining their freedom. Everyone needed to understand that the greatest change in their lives was their newfound relationship with God. They were children of God whether they were free or not, married or single, circumcised or uncircumcised. It was their relationship with God that set them apart, not their particular circumstances.

Now Paul turns his attention to another group within the church: those who were single. The Greek word he uses is παρθένος (parthenos) and it can refer to a virgin, a marriageable woman, a single man who has remained sexually pure, or an unmarried daughter. In this context, it would seem that the term, as Paul uses it, “refers to young, engaged women who were under the influence of various groups within the Corinthian church not to go through with their marriages. The central issue would then be whether the young men and women should continue with their plans and finalize their marriages” (NET Bible Study Notes). In Paul’s day, fathers were the ones who determined who their illegible daughters would marry, so he is addressing them with these comments. But he most likely has single men in mind as well. The issue, as it has been all along, has to do with the Corinthians misunderstanding of the spiritual and physical dimensions of life. They had been heavily influenced by the philosophy of dualism and there were those within the church who were advocating abstinence from marriage altogether. Why? Because they viewed sexually activity as somehow evil. It was unspiritual, because it involved the body. Anything done in the body was viewed as either evil or nonessential. This view could lead to license, where anything was permissible because the body didn’t matter, or it could lead to asceticism, a rigorous form of self-denial.

To address this issue and to deal with those within the church who were single, Paul repeats that it would be best to remain as they are. If they are single, remain so. And he gives a more detailed explanation to his answer this time. He says, “I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is” (1 Corinthians 7:26 ESV). We are not exactly sure what Paul means by this statement, but it would appear from the context, that he is talking about the end times. He also says, “the appointed time has grown very short” (1 Corinthians 7:29 ESV). Paul lived with a strong belief that the end of the age was near. It strongly impacted his approach to life. He tells the Corinthians, “the present form of this world is passing away” (1 Corinthians 7:31 ESV). He had a strong sense that the return of Christ was near and that each believer should live with a sense of anticipation and eager expectation that He could appear at any moment. With that in mind, Paul encourages the singles within the church to remain so. But he also makes it clear that they are perfectly free to marry should they choose to do so. “But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin” (1 Corinthians 7:28a NLT). He plainly refutes the false view of the ascetics and dualists. But he also makes it perfectly clear that he believes the days ahead will be difficult for everyone – “those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems” (1 Corinthians 7:28b NLT). 

The bottom line for Paul was that every believer needed to put their focus on living for Christ. They needed to have a single-minded devotion to their faith, living with their hopes and passions fixed on the future, not the present. Paul gives some curious and seemingly confusing advice: “let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it” (1 Corinthians 7:29-21 ESV). He is not advising married individuals to act as if they weren’t married. He is not advocating the neglect of your spouse. He is simply saying that marriage cannot be your sole focus in life. As believing couples, they were to make it their goal to live for Christ and to make an impact for the kingdom through their marriage. Those who found themselves in times of difficulty were not to spend all their time mourning over their problems, but they were to get to work, replacing their temporal concerns with an eternal focus. Those with money were not to live as if material things were the most important thing in life. Those who enjoy all the things this world has to offer – power, possessions, pleasure –  should hold them with open hands, because this world is passing away.

Debates about marriage and singleness, abstinence and avoidance, spirituality and worldliness, were all a waste of time if believers do not remember who they are in Christ and why they are here. Paul’s life was gospel-driven. He saw himself as the citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven, not of this earth. He lived with the end in view. And he longed for the Corinthians to have the same mindset. He wanted them to share his outlook on life: “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:13-14 NLT).

A Change of Heart, Not Circumstance.

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Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. – 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 ESV

Three times in this passage Paul tells the Corinthians to remain as they were when God called them. He is really addressing the issue of contentment, of remaining in the circumstances of life in which they found themselves when they first came to faith in Christ. The change that God is interested in most is internal, not external. Divorcing your spouse because they are an unbeliever will not make you more spiritual. For a believing slave to somehow get out from under his master’s rule would not make him any more free than he already is in Christ. God is interested in heart change. But as human beings, we tend to deal with externals. We think a change of circumstances is the answer to all of life’s problems. If our marriage is less-than-satisfactory, divorce seems to be the best option to us. If our job is not as fulfilling as we would like, a change in employment is the answer. This was especially true for the believers in Corinth who seemed to believe that their new faith in Christ was a license to start all over. Social status was an important concept within the Greek community. It would have been easy for a slave who came to faith in Christ to immediately assume that his salvation gave him a right to experience freedom just like all the other believers in the church. But Paul would have them understand that their “calling” has nothing to do with their career choice, social standing, marital status, financial outlook, or any other circumstantial condition. God’s call on their life was to live in obedience and submission to Him regardless of what their external circumstances might be. If God called them while they were a slave, He had a perfectly good reason for doing so. His Son did not die in order to set them free from physical slavery, but from bondage to sin. If they were married when they came to Christ, they should remain so. Jesus did not give His life so that they might experience freedom from the demands of marriage, but so that they might love their spouse sacrificially and selflessly. Their calling was to Christ-likeness, a radical change in their heart that would have a dramatic impact on their behavior. Paul told the church in Ephesus, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV). He prayed for the Colossian believers that they would “be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:9-10 ESV).

Like most of us, the Corinthians were convinced that a change in circumstances was the key to contentment. But Paul wanted them to understand that God called them where they were so they He might change who they are. His Son died so that they might be new creations and experience a new nature, not get a new lease on life through a change in circumstances. The Philippian jailer, after coming to faith in Christ, more than likely continued to be a jailer. The Ethiopian eunech, after accepting Christ as his Savior, was no less a eunech than he was before. Zacchaeus didn’t give up being a tax collector after having met Jesus, he simply became an honest one.

One of the most important lines in this passage is the first one: “ Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” This has nothing to do with our career path. Paul isn’t talking about job titles or employment opportunities. God has a unique calling on each of our lives as believers. He has redeemed us for a reason. And rather than worrying so much about what we do for a living, we would do well to think about what God has for us to do on behalf of His Kingdom. Our jobs are simply opportunities to live out our faith in daily life. Our marriages are to be less about self-satisfaction than they are about self-sacrifice and contexts within which we can model our Christ-likeness in tangible ways.

A new job may make you happy, but it won’t make you a better Christian. The idea of a new marriage partner may sound appealing, but God would rather make you a godly spouse and teach you to love the one you’re with selflessly and sacrificially.

All of this does not preclude the fact that God sometimes changes our circumstances. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to “go, and sin no more” (John 8:11 ESV). A change in circumstances was required. Jesus changed the career paths of several of the disciples, making them fishers of men rather than fishermen. Paul himself experienced a radical change in his occupational focus, going from persecutor of the church to proclaimer of the gospel. There are times when God calls us to new circumstances. But His greatest desire is to give us a new heart and to create in us a new desire to live for Him wherever we find ourselves. We need godly husbands and wives, Christ-like politician and plumbers, Spirit-filled teachers and selfless lawyers. To Paul, it would be better to be a godly slave than an ungodly master. He considered it far more important to pursue holiness in less-than-ideal circumstances than happiness in the best of conditions. That is why he could say, “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT). Our circumstances must take a back seat to our submission to the will of God for our lives: our holiness.

 

No One Said It Would Be Easy.

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To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? – 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 ESV

This is an extremely difficult passage and there are as many opinions concerning it as there are commentaries written about it. First of all, when Paul says, “To the rest I say, (I, not the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV), he is not implying that what he has to say concerning these matters is simply his personal opinion and not divinely inspired. He is merely indicating that this is not something he heard taught by Jesus Himself. But as an expert in the Old Testament and an apostle of Jesus Christ, and due to the fact that he was divinely inspired by the Spirit of God, the words he writes must be considered as coming from God.

His emphasis in these verses shifts from addressing married couples who are comprised of believing husbands and wives. Now he is addressing those who find themselves married to an unbeliever. This was probably a very common issue in the church in Corinth. There were likely a good many who had come to faith in Christ apart from their spouse and who found themselves in a potentially difficult and compromising circumstance. If there were children involved, the situation was even more complicated. There were obviously those who were counseling that it would be better for a Christian to divorce their unbelieving spouse than to remain married. Paul would even give what appears to be similar counsel in his second letter to the Corinthians:

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 ESV

And while this passage has been used to defend the ban on Christians marrying non-Christians, that was likely not Paul’s original point. He was addressing the need to avoid the kinds of relationships with unbelievers that might lead to spiritual defilement. This obviously applied to marriage, but was not restricted to it. Paul was not counseling or sanctioning that Christians separate themselves completely from the world. That would be impossible. In fact, earlier in this letter he referred to another piece of correspondence to the Corinthians in which he told them, “not to associate with sexually immoral people” (1 Corinthians 5:9 ESV). But he clarified what he had meant by saying, “not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world” (1 Corinthians 5:10 ESV). So Paul was in no way a proponent of Christian isolationism.

So what is a Christian to do who finds themselves married to an unbeliever? The main point here has to do with divorce, and Paul would say that it is wrong for a believer to divorce their unbelieving spouse. Rather, they should see themselves as a godly influence on their home. Their very presence within the home sanctified it or set it apart. This is where some of the difficulty comes about when interpreting what Paul means when he says, “the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:14 ESV). It would be inconsistent with the rest of Scripture to say that Paul means the believing spouse “saves” the marriage and converts the unbelieving partner. The lost spouse is made “holy” only in the sense that he or she finds themselves benefiting from the presence of a believer living within the same walls. Living in close proximity with a Spirit-filled believer could not help but have an influence on them. And this is true of the children in the home as well. They are not automatically saved as a result of having one believing parent, any more than those children who have two believing parents would be. But in a sense, they would be set apart by God by virtue of His having called one of their parents to saving relationship with His Son.

The real point of these verses seems to deal with what a believer is to do if their unbelieving spouse chooses to divorce them. The truth is that the very presence of a Christian in the home could drive the unbelieving partner away. As Peter indicates in his letter, there is a chance that a godly wife could have a positive impact on her unbelieving husband.

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. – 1 Peter 3:1-2 NLT)

But there is also a good chance that her presence could result in conviction and conflict. The same is true of a believing husband. There is no guarantee that a lost spouse will be led to the Lord by a believing partner. I think that is what Paul means when he asks, “For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). So Paul’s counsel is that if a Christian finds themselves served with divorce papers by an unbelieving spouse, they should not fight it. But at the same time, they should not be the instigators of it. Paul simply says, “if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15a ESV). His bottom line goal was peace, not conflict. “God has called you to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15b ESV). God receives no glory from a marriage in which two unequally yoked individuals fight and feud with one another. If the marriage is relatively conflict-free and the unbelieving partner is willing to remain married, the Christian should in no way seek divorce. As Paul will write in the following verses, “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called” (1 Corinthians 7:20 ESV).

These are difficult words. But they deal with the reality of the gospel entering into a difficult and depraved world. When light shines in the darkness, there cannot help but be conflict. When believers come into contact with the lost, there will be tension, testing, and the potential for trouble. Jesus warned us that the world would hate us. Our redemption as believers places a target on our back and makes us prime candidate for persecution by the enemy. The life of a believer is not an easy one. Our call to live set apart in a world that is set against us will not be a cake walk. We will be misunderstood. At times we will be mistreated. But we will never be abandoned by our God.

Living His Way.

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I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:7-11 ESV

Paul understood well the necessity of marriage. He knew it was ordained by God and, when treated properly, could provide believers with the full benefits of their sexuality as intended by God. As far as Paul was concerned, marriage was the only appropriate context for sexual expression between a man and a woman, because that was how God had planned it. But Paul had a personal appreciation for singleness. Evidently, Paul was unmarried at the time this letter was written. We do not know if he had ever been married. But when he writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am,” he is stating a personal opinion, not the will of God. He is in no signifying that singleness is better than marriage. He simply knew that marriage required a great deal of commitment and sacrifice, requiring each person in the relationship to put the needs of the other ahead of their own. For Paul, being single allowed him the freedom to dedicate all his time and attention to the spread of the gospel and for ministry to the growing number of churches around the world.

For Paul, singleness was a gift from God. He believed it was God who had given him the self-control to live as an unmarried man and to not, as he put it, “burn with passion.” He had a supernatural, God-given capacity to resist the temptations associated with lust. Even Jesus alluded to the existence of this gift. One day He was confronted by the Pharisees and asked whether it was “lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause” (Matthew 19:3b ESV). Quoting from the Old Testament, Jesus replied, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6 ESV). Jesus went on to explain that “whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:9 NLT). Marriage was a binding covenant. This statement led one of the disciples to state, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” (Matthew 19:10 NLT). And Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this statement. Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (Matthew 19:11-12 NLT). Jesus Himself never married, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. He said, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 6:38 ESV). 

Singleness has its advantages when it comes to ministry. But it is not for everyone. So Paul goes on to address those who were married. He speaks to the women first, reminding them that they should not divorce their husbands. Paul was simply repeating the words of Jesus. “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12 NLT). Paul knew, just as Jesus did, that just because divorce was prohibited, it would not stop it from happening. So they both commanded no remarriage after divorce. To do so was to commit adultery. Paul states that if a woman divorces her husband, “she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11a ESV). And then he adds, “and the husband should not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:11b ESV). Jesus seems to have given only one exception to His no-divorce mandate. When He stated, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 ESV), He appears to present sexual immorality on the part of one of the married partners as the only grounds for divorce. In that case, it would seem that the offending partner has broken the covenant of oneness. But Paul emphasizes that whoever finds themselves divorced for whatever reason, should remain single or be reconciled to their partner.

It is important to remember that Paul is calling the Corinthians believers to live out their faith in the midst of a dark, pagan culture where virtually anything was considered acceptable behavior. Divorce was commonplace. Sexual immorality was rampant. Sexual sins of all kinds were prevalent and regularly practiced. He is demanding that the Corinthians live lives worthy of their calling as followers of Christ. They are to be distinctly different in their actions and attitudes. Their approach to life was to be determined by their faith, not their feelings. They were to be driven by a desire to please God, not their own desires. It is highly possible that there were some in the church in Corinth who were divorcing their spouses in order to escape having sexual relations altogether. More than likely, these individuals were influenced by the philosophy of dualism that flourished in Greek culture. It led them to believe that anything associated with the body was evil. Divorce allowed them to experience “freedom” from involvement with sex altogether. But their views were unbiblical and un-Christlike. While the culture around them was distorting God’s views on everything from marriage to human sexuality, Paul was reminding them that they were the church of God, “sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints” (1 Corinthians 1:2 ESV). Like the Corinthians, we have been called to live lives that are set apart from the world. We are to be holy, different and distinct. We exist to bring glory to God. We are His children, His workmanship, “created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV).

 

The Christ-like Life.

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Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. – 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 ESV

As is usually the case in any congregation, there were two views or opinions influencing the church in Corinth. We have already seen that their Greek, dualistic way of thinking to see all sin as something done in the body and, therefore, permissible. They viewed themselves as being made up a two natures: the body and the spirit. And they were using this pagan outlook on life to excuse their immoral behavior. But there was evidently another group within the church who viewed believed in dualism, but viewed it as a threat. Their solution was to practice a form of abstinence. Since they viewed the body as evil or sinful, they would simply deny the body anything that might cause it to sin, including sexual relations. In a letter written to Paul by the congregation, they had commented: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (1 Corinthians 7:1b ESV).  And while Paul sees a seed of truth in this statement, he also see a serious danger. Their ongoing struggle with temptation toward sexual sin was going to make abstinence extremely difficult to carry off. The solution, according to Paul, was God-ordained marriage. He tells them, “because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs” (1 Corinthians 7:2-3 NLT). It is not as if Paul did not believe in abstinence or celibacy. In fact, in just a few verses he tells the unmarried and widows in the church , “it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9 ESV).

Abstinence may result in the absence of sexual contact, but it cannot eliminate the problem of lust. It was Jesus who said, “everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 ESV). Simply refraining from sexual intercourse does not fix the problem, because the problem lies within the heart. Again, Jesus said, “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander” (Matthew 15:19 NLT). Their attempt to separate the spiritual and the physical was based on man’s logic, not God’s Word. God had created marriage as the proper means by which men and women could enjoy His gift of sexual intimacy. And while marriage does not eliminate the problem within the hearts of men and women toward sexual, it does provide a God-ordained outlet for the expression and experience of the act of sex between a man and a woman.

But Paul knew that the dualistic viewpoint of the Corinthians could even be used to mess with God’s divine design for marriage. There would be those who chose to practice abstinence even within the context of their marriage. Paul makes it very clear: “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer” (1 Corinthians 7:5a NLT). They were not to deny one another sexual intimacy, unless they had a very good spiritual reason for doing so, and the only one Paul lists is prayer. And even if they practice abstinence for the purpose of prayer, they are to do so for a very limited time period. Why? Because Paul knew their hearts. Which is why he warned them , “Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5b NLT).

At the heart of Paul’s commands on this topic are his concern for the spiritual well-being of the congregation in Corinth. He had a burden that their relationship with Christ be lived out and permeate every area of their lives, including their marriages. He made a concession toward abstinence in marriage only if it was done in order to concentrate on more pressing spiritual matters, such as prayer. For one spouse to deny the other their rightful access to sexual fulfillment would be un-Christlike and selfish. Paul makes it clear that the husband’s body does not belong to him, but to his wife. And the wife’s body belongs to her husband. There is to be a selflessness and an attitude of sacrifice at the heart of every Christian marriage. It is not more spiritual to deny your spouse what God has intended for their good, in order that you might satisfy your own desires.

I think Paul’s admonition to the Philippian believers echoes his thoughts here. “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT). What better place to practice those practical warnings than within the context of a marriage? Any attempt to live a more godly life that ends up hurting someone else or denies the other person their rights, is misguided at best. We are to die to self. We are to put the other person first. We are to sacrifice. Spirituality is not about abstinence, but about obedience – obedience to the will of God as expressed in the Word of God and as lived out by the Son of God. He is our model. The Christ-like life is one of sacrifice, service, humility and selfless love for others.