2 Samuel 3

The Multiplying Effect of Poor Choices

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31 Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” And King David followed the bier. 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying,

“Should Abner die as a fool dies?
34 Your hands were not bound;
    your feet were not fettered;
as one falls before the wicked
    you have fallen.”

And all the people wept again over him. 35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, “God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king’s will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The Lord repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!” – 2 Samuel 3:31-39 ESV

The actions of David recorded in this chapter are difficult to discern and even harder to defend. On the one hand, he appears as a gracious and forgiving leader who is willing to overlook the sins of Abner for the better good of the nation. A sincere desire to unify the fractured country seems to be the motivating factor behind his behavior, but it all comes across as a bit heavy-handed and unnecessary. David treated the fallen Abner like a national hero, honoring him with an elaborate funeral and ordering a day of mourning in his memory.

But Abner was no saint. This was the man who helped lead a revolt against David and influenced 11 of the tribes of Israel to appoint Ish-bosheth as their king. He even led the Israelite troops in a pitched battle against the forces of David at Gibeon. Abner was anything but a loyal ally or faithful friend to David, yet he was given a funeral fit for a king.

Were David’s actions nothing more than a well-orchestrated and highly visible PR campaign designed to sway public opinion? It’s difficult to say. But there is no indication that David held a memorial for the death of Asahel, the young man that Abner murdered in cold blood. The text simply states that “they took up Asahel and buried him in the tomb of his father” (2 Samuel 2:32 ESV). David isn’t even mentioned as having attended Asahel’s funeral in Bethlehem, and this was the brother of Joab, David’s faithful military commander.

One of the most disheartening aspects of this entire scenario is David’s insensitive treatment of his friend and fellow warrior, Joab. Not only did he curse Joab and his family for the unsanctioned execution of Abner, but David also commanded Joab to publicly mourn Abner’s death.

Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” – 2 Samuel 3:32 ESV

What a devastating slap in the face this must have been for the still-grieving Joab. On David’s orders, he was forced to fête the murderer of his own brother. To make matters worse, David publicly humiliated Joab by declaring that Abner’s death was a criminal act.

“Should Abner have died like a fool?
Your hands were not bound,
and your feet were not put into irons.
You fell the way one falls before criminals.” – 2 Samuel 3:33-34 NLT

In essence, he pronounced Abner as guiltless and portrayed him as the innocent victim of premeditated murder. Yet, according to Mosaic Law, Joab had simply fulfilled his role as the blood-avenger. Abner had killed his brother so Joab fulfilled the legal code of lex talionis – the law of retribution in kind.

But David viewed Joab’s actions as impulsive and potentially detrimental to his quest to unify the nation under his leadership. By executing Abner, Joab had jeopardized David’s kingly aspirations. So, he overcompensated and treated Abner like a martyr. He even practiced a self-imposed fast, refusing to eat until sunset. This was evidently a public display that caught the interest of his servants, who urged him to break his fast but David refused, stating, “May God strike me and even kill me if I eat anything before sundown” (2 Samuel 3:35 NLT). Once again, David appears to be putting on a public display to convince the Israelites of his great love for Abner. It was an Oscar-worthy performance designed to sway public opinion in his favor. The text even states, “This pleased the people very much. In fact, everything the king did pleased them! So everyone in Judah and all Israel understood that David was not responsible for Abner’s murder” (2 Samuel 3:36-37 NLT).

David’s ploy worked. Even though his own military commander had been responsible for Abner’s death, David somehow managed to escape responsibility or any form of culpability. He came out smelling like a rose but ensured that Joab and his brother, Abishai, suffered tarnished reputations and the possible threat of divine payback.

“…even though I am the anointed king, these two sons of Zeruiah—Joab and Abishai—are too strong for me to control. So may the Lord repay these evil men for their evil deeds.” – 2 Samuel 3:39 NLT

It seems odd that David held so much contempt for Joab and Abishai but failed to view the actions of Abner with suspicion. He posthumously called Abner “a prince and a great man” (2 Samuel 3:38 ESV) but labeled Joab and Abishai as wicked evildoers. These conflicting designations seem out of touch with reality and undeserved. Abner had done nothing to earn David’s respect and Israel’s adulation but neither had Joab done anything worthy of being treated as a common criminal.

Little did David know that his actions would have deadly consequences. His desire to unify the tribes and solidify his monarchy would end up costing Ish-bosheth his life. When Saul took his own life, Abner helped Ish-bosheth ascend to his father’s throne, securing the loyalty of 11 of the 12 tribes of Israel. But when Abner switched his allegiance to David, Ish-bosheth was left without a military commander and in a highly vulnerable position. As the next chapter records, Ish-bosheth became a target for those who wished to win the favor of Israel’s new king. His commander had switched sides leaving him with a precarious hold on his kingdom and a bullseye on his back.

It wouldn’t take long for David’s dream of unifying the nation to become Ish-bosheth’s nightmare. David’s unification-at-all-costs strategy began leaving a long line of bodies in its wake. God had promised him the kingdom but now David was trying to secure it through human means. His alliance with Abner was ill-conceived and less than successful. It led Joab to take matters into his own hands. If David wouldn’t punish Abner, Joab would. When Abner assured David that he could sway the 11 tribes to switch their allegiance, David never considered the implications for Saul’s son, Ish-bosheth.

He also failed to consider the long-term effects that his curse would have on Joab, Abishai, and their families. In the heat of the moment and fearing the fallout from Joab’s actions, David pronounced a generational curse on one of his dearest friends and trusted military commander.

“May the family of Joab be cursed in every generation with a man who has open sores or leprosy or who walks on crutches or dies by the sword or begs for food!” – 2 Samuel 3:29 NLT

Those are strong words and they must have hit Joab hard. After all, he was David’s nephew and had served at his uncle’s side all during the years of his exile. But with the death of Abner, the friendship of David and Joab would be stretched thin. He remained a commander in David’s army but ultimately lost his respect for his former friend. In time, their relationship would go south and Joab would prove to be a less-than-faithful ally to the king.

David’s reign was being solidified but at what cost? He would soon have the backing of all 12 tribes of Israel but would lose the benefit of his relationship with Joab.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

One Sin Leads to Another

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22 Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” 24 Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? 25 You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.”

26 When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. 27 And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. 28 Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the Lord for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. 29 May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” 30 So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon. – 2 Samuel 3:22-30 ESV

Committing sin is really quite simple. For most of us, it comes far easier than we would like to admit. We can find ourselves committing sins as the result of the slightest temptation or provocation. But the ramifications of sin are rarely simple or easy. Sin can be addictive and habit-forming, with one sin leading to another in a seemingly endless wave that increases in intensity and frequency over time.

That happens to be the case concerning David, as recorded in chapter 3 of 2 Samuel. David, in his desire to have his first wife Michal returned to him, made an unwise decision that was unsanctioned by God. In exchange for Michal and the allegiance of the rest of the tribes of Israel, David made an alliance with Abner, the former commander of Saul’s army. This was the same man who had convinced Saul’s son, Ish-bosheth, to claim the throne as Saul’s rightful heir. Without God’s counsel or approval, Abner appointed Ish-bosheth king of the Benjaminites and all the other tribes of Israel. In doing so, he stood against not only David but God, who had chosen David to be Saul’s replacement. It’s clear that Abner did not act in ignorance because he told the elders of Israel:

“For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. Now then bring it about, for the Lord has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.’” – 2 Samuel 3:16-17 ESV

His decision to make Ish-bosheth king of Israel was an act of rebellion; he refused to accept God’s choice of David as the next king of Israel. Yet, David, in his desire to get his wife back and in hopes of solidifying the kingdom, made an agreement with Abner – without seeking God’s input or approval.

When Joab, a commander in David’s army, returned from battle with his troops, he was stunned to hear what David had done. He immediately confronted David, saying, “What have you done? What do you mean by letting Abner get away? You know perfectly well that he came to spy on you and find out everything you’re doing!” (2 Samuel 3:24-25 NLT). Joab was not only appalled by David’s naiveté but with his insensitivity. Abner had brutally murdered Joab’s brother, Asahel. From Joab’s perspective, David should have executed Abner as an insurrectionist and murderer.

The news that Abner had been allowed to walk away unpunished for his sins left Abner incensed and committed to taking matters into his own hands. Unwilling to accept David’s unholy alliance with his brother’s murderer, Joab sent troops to find Abner. This entire scenario took place in the city of Hebron which was one of the six cities of refuge established by God (Joshua 20:7-8).

“When you cross the Jordan into the land of Canaan, designate cities of refuge to which people can flee if they have killed someone accidentally. These cities will be places of protection from a dead person’s relatives who want to avenge the death. The slayer must not be put to death before being tried by the community.”  – Numbers 35:10-12 NLT

These six cities were intended to serve as sanctuary cities, providing protection to anyone who had committed murder. In those days, Israel had no police force and revenge killing was a common occurrence. The Mosaic Law clearly prohibited murder and the punishment for taking another man’s life was the death penalty. Typically, the sentence was carried out by a relative of the deceased. This individual was referred to as the go’el ha-dam, the blood-avenger.

The murderer must surely be put to death. The avenger of blood [go’el ha-dam] himself must kill the murderer; when he meets him, he must kill him. – Numbers 35:18-19 NLT

But God knew there would be cases of unpremeditated murder. Accidents would happen. Unintentional deaths would take place, leaving the perpetrator at the mercy of the blood-avenger. To provide protection for these individuals, God designated the cities of refuge to serve as sanctuaries where the murderer could receive protection and the guarantee of a fair and impartial trial.

It is no coincidence that Abner came to David in Hebron, one of the six sanctuary cities. But Abner’s murder of Asahel had not been an accident; it was premeditated and particularly violent. He had run Asahel through with the butt-end of a spear. Yet, Abner, knowing that Joab would seek vengeance for the death of his brother, sought refuge in Hebron.

Once again, our sins have a way of not only multiplying but of infecting those around us. David’s lust for Michal, who had remarried and was therefore off-limits for David, caused him to make an unwise allegiance with Abner. Rather than punish him for his murder of Asahel, David rewarded him with freedom. This decision caused Joab to take matters into his own hands. He did what David had been unwilling to do, and what he did was in keeping with the commands of God. Consider carefully what God had said about the matter:

“But if he struck him down with an iron object, so that he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. And if he struck him down with a stone tool that could cause death, and he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. 18 Or if he struck him down with a wooden tool that could cause death, and he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. The avenger of blood shall himself put the murderer to death; when he meets him, he shall put him to death. And if he pushed him out of hatred or hurled something at him, lying in wait, so that he died, or in enmity struck him down with his hand, so that he died, then he who struck the blow shall be put to death. He is a murderer. The avenger of blood shall put the murderer to death when he meets him.” – Numbers 35:16-21 ESV

Abner deserved death for what he had done, not a get-out-of-jail-free card from the king. So, Joab faithfully fulfilled his role as the blood-avenger and put Abner to death. This act, while fully in keeping with God’s command, did not sit well with David. He was so angry he actually put a curse on Joab and his family.

“May his blood whirl over the head of Joab and the entire house of his father! May the males of Joab’s house never cease to have someone with a running sore or a skin disease or one who works at the spindle or one who falls by the sword or one who lacks food!” – 2 Samuel 3:29 NLT

Throughout his life, David showed a disinclination to deal with those whose actions deserved judgment. When his son, Amnon, raped his half-sister, Tamar, David did nothing to punish him. When Tamar’s brother, Absalom, arranged for the murder of Amnon, David refused to take action. Years later, after David had allowed Absalom to return to Jerusalem unpunished, Absalom fomented a rebellion against his own father. And what did David do? He abandoned the city. He gave up. He walked away.

If David truly believed what Joab did to Abner was wrong, he did nothing about it. Rather than punish Joab, he pronounced a curse. By placing all the blame on Joab, David attempted to himself from any responsibility. This was wise political policy since David was attempting to establish his kingdom. He feared how the Benjaminites would respond when they heard of Abner’s death. But David’s curse on Joab appears to be completely uncalled for and without divine authorization. Abner had been a traitor and a murderer. He had led an insurrection against the God-ordained king of Israel. Rather than face capture, he had brutally murdered his pursuer and, according to the command of God, he deserved death. In fact, David had violated the very word of God by making his agreement with Abner. In essence, he allowed Abner to purchase a pardon he did not deserve, an action God had clearly prohibited

“Also, you must never accept a ransom payment for the life of someone judged guilty of murder and subject to execution; murderers must always be put to death. And never accept a ransom payment from someone who has fled to a city of refuge, allowing a slayer to return to his property before the death of the high priest.” – Numbers 35:31-32 NLT

The truly fascinating thing about all of this is David’s reaction to the death of Abner. As the rest of the chapter reveals, David ordered a national day of mourning for Abner. We will never know how much of it was based on political posturing. Was David simply attempting to win over the northern tribes by assuring them of his love for Abner? Only David and God know for sure. But suffice it to say that David showed far more sadness over the death of Abner than he did of Asahel, one of his own men. There is no record of David having mourned Asahel’s death. No tears were shed. No memorial service was held. Yet, David will go out of his way to memorialize and eulogize the death of a traitor and a murderer.

Sin has a way of metastasizing like cancer. Unchecked, it can spread, infecting our lives and destroying our spiritual health. Not only that, it can contaminate those around us. Sin is never static and it is almost impossible to control. We are deluded and naive if we think we have a handle on our sin and can manage it. Sin is dangerous and deadly, and when we attempt to apply logic to our sins to rationalize our behavior, we run the risk of opening the door to additional and even more deadly forms of rebellion against God.

The apostle John gives us some sobering counsel regarding the sin in our lives:

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. – 1 John 1:8-10 NLT

David’s reign was off to a less-than-stellar start. The man after God’s own heart was displaying his propensity to crack under pressure and make unwise decisions that would produce unwelcome outcomes. Small compromises, subtle sins, and convenient alliances would end up producing long-term ramifications for David and his kingdom.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Sin Clouds Our Thinking

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6 While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. And Ish-bosheth said to Abner, “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?” 8 Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, “Am I a dog’s head of Judah? To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge me today with a fault concerning a woman. 9 God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the Lord has sworn to him, 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba.” 11 And Ish-bosheth could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.

12 And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, “To whom does the land belong? Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand shall be with you to bring over all Israel to you.” 13 And he said, “Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.” 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.” 15 And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” And he returned.

17 And Abner conferred with the elders of Israel, saying, “For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. 18 Now then bring it about, for the Lord has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.’” 19 Abner also spoke to Benjamin. And then Abner went to tell David at Hebron all that Israel and the whole house of Benjamin thought good to do.

20 When Abner came with twenty men to David at Hebron, David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. 21 And Abner said to David, “I will arise and go and will gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace. – 2 Samuel 3:6-21 ESV

Living in disobedience to God’s commands can cloud our thinking, rendering us incapable of making wise decisions because we end up making them in the flesh. As long as we harbor unconfessed sin in our hearts, we will find our minds suffering from cloudy thinking. As chapter 3 unfolds, it appears that David suffers from compromised cognitive abilities. He shows a marked lack of discernment and a far-too-trusting attitude when it comes to his dealings with Abner.

As the opening verses of this chapter revealed, David had a problem with women; he was addicted to them. So much so, that he ended up with as many as eight wives in direct violation of God’s law. It seems that Abner suffered from a similar predilection. In the wake of Saul’s death, Abner decided to have a sexual encounter with one of the king’s concubines. No motive is given for Abner’s actions, but this would have been considered a serious breach of protocol. The purpose of the king’s harem was not just to satisfy his sexual desires but to provide him with a future heir. Upon Saul’s death, the women in his harem would have passed on to Ish-bosheth, whose ascension to the throne Abner had helped to make possible.

Ish-bosheth was shocked by Abner’s actions and demanded an explanation. Was Abner trying to assert his authority and claim his own right to the throne? Was this the start of an attempted coup? It’s not difficult to grasp the thought process behind Ish-bosheth’s concern when one considers a similar situation that happened to David later in his reign.

Absalom, one of David’s sons, who just happened to be born to “Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur” (2 Samuel 3:2 ESV), rebelled against his father and attempted to take over his kingdom. When Absalom entered the city of Jerusalem with 200 armed soldiers, David was forced to flee for his life, leaving his harem behind. This provided Absalom with a perfect opportunity to embarrass his father and solidify his hold on the throne of Israel.

Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give us your advice. What should we do?” Ahithophel replied to Absalom, “Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to care for the palace. All Israel will hear that you have made yourself repulsive to your father. Then your followers will be motivated to support you.” So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and Absalom slept with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. – 2 Samuel 16:20-22 NLT

It’s impossible to know whether Abner had similar aspirations when he slept with one of Saul’s concubines, but it’s obvious that Ish-bosheth had his suspicions. His confrontation with Abner didn’t go well. Feigning shock and surprise, Abner informed Ish-bosheth that he was offended by the insinuation and intended to switch his allegiance to David. He had helped put Ish-bosheth on the throne and he could take him down.

When Abner sent messengers to David with a proposal to hand over the other tribes and solidify his kingship, David readily agreed. He didn’t seek God’s counsel or even stop to consider the motivation behind Abner’s proposition. David simply replied, “Good! I will make an agreement with you” (2 Samuel 3:13 NLT). With all that he knew about Abner, David willingly agreed to trust this ambitious, self-aggrandizing status seeker. David should have known better, but he allowed himself to be swayed by his own personal agenda and Achilles heel.

David agreed to Abner’s plan but one one condition: He demanded the return of Michal, his first wife and the daughter of Saul. We are not given David’s motives. Perhaps he was simply trying to solidify his right to be king over all the tribes and assumed that having Michal as his queen would win over the Benjaminites. But the likely reason behind David’s demand for Michal’s return was tied to his love affair with women. He wanted her back, and he emphasized to Ish-bosheth that he had every right to have her back because, he said, “I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines” (2 Samuel 3:14 ESV).

But, once again, David was making decisions with a mind clouded by sin. He wasn’t processing clearly the ramifications of his actions. First of all, Michal had remarried, and the Mosaic Law clearly stated that it was unacceptable for anyone to remarry his wife after she had married again (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

David’s conditional clause to the agreement set into play a series of unfortunate events. When David demanded her return, Michal was forcibly removed from her home, leaving her husband in tears. This decision would come back to haunt David and his relationship with Michal would never be the same. Later in the book of 2 Samuel,  the story is recorded of David’s joyful return of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. The Ark had been plundered by the Philistines and, upon its return, David arranged for a royal procession to celebrate the occasion. He led the parade, dancing with joy before the cart that carried the Ark of the Covenant. But Michal was less than thrilled with David’s public display of self-abasement.

As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart. – 2 Samuel 6:16 ESV

Demanding the return of Michal would not be the only poor decision David made. His negotiations with Abner would prove problematic. This man had been the one to convince Ish-bosheth, the sole remaining son of Saul, to declare himself king of all of Israel. It was Abner who led the armies of Ish-bosheth against David and he is the one who killed Asahel, the brother of Joab. Abner was a self-seeking opportunist who would do anything to feather his own nest. He cared nothing for Ish-bosheth; he was simply using him, and when Ish-bosheth confronted Abner about sleeping with one of his concubines, he simply switched sides. This quick change of allegiance was likely motivated by the recent defeat of his forces by David’s men. Abner knew that Ish-bosheth was not fit to be king, so he made a deal with David, completely motivated by self-preservation. And David, his mind clouded by sin, unwisely accepted his offer.

Had David been thinking clearly, he would have seen through Abner’s overtures. He would have recognized that Abner had no allegiance to him or his kingdom. Abner was in it for himself. David didn’t seem to consider how his decision would impact Joab, his friend and commander-in-chief. In fact, when David made this decision, Joab was just returning from a successful raid, where he and David’s men had captured a great deal of plunder. Abner had brutally killed one of Joab’s brothers (2 Samuel 2:23), but David never seems to have considered how Joab would take the news of this alliance. As a result, David’s decision brought about further, unnecessary bloodshed.

It had been one thing for David to refuse to kill King Saul, the Lord’s anointed. But to knowingly overlook the unfaithfulness of Abner, and welcome him back with open arms, was another thing. Over his lifetime, David would show a propensity to avoid doing the right thing. Years later, when his own son Absalom had his half-brother Amnon murdered for raping his sister, Tamar,  David took no action. He simply allowed Absalom to run away. There was no punishment meted out and Absalom was not forced to pay for his sin. When Joab tricked David into allowing Absalom to return, he once again avoided the inevitable, refusing to meet with his son. His lack of action would result in Absalom’s growing resentment and eventual attempt to replace his father as king.

Sin clouds our thinking. It makes it impossible to hear clearly from God. It blinds us to reality and casts a mist over the circumstances of life, rendering us unable to see things as they truly are. Our discernment becomes impaired. Our spiritual vision becomes blurry, and our capacity to make wise choices becomes weakened. David was still a man after God’s own heart, but he was also a man who had to deal with the reality of indwelling sin.

Paul gives us a remedy for when we find our thinking clouded by sin:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. – Romans 12:1-2 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Battle for the Heart

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1 There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker.

2 And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron. – 2 Samuel 3:1-5 ESV

These five short verses reveal that David was fighting battles on two fronts. The first was the ongoing conflict he faced with the house of Saul. Ish-bosheth remained the recognized king of Israel, having received the endorsement of 11 of the 12 tribes, and Abner continued to serve as his military advisor.

But David faced another formidable foe that would prove far more difficult to defeat than Abner and his puppet king. The sad reality is that David’s second battle front was of his own making and he remained oblivious to its presence and danger. This “man after God’s own heart” had a heart problem. It wasn’t a physiological flaw in his actual heart but a moral weakness in his inner man.

This man, who had been handpicked by God and designated to be the next king of Israel suffered from a debilitating and oftentimes deadly condition that would prove to be far more dangerous than Ish-bosheth, Abner, and the armies of Israel. Despite Saul’s manic and rather obsessive-compulsive behavior, he had proven unsuccessful in eliminating David as a threat to his throne. Now, Saul’s son Ish-bosheth wore the crown and seemed to be blocking David’s path to his God-ordained destiny. But David’s real enemy lurked much closer to home, within his own household, and would prove to be the offspring of his own heart.

But this less-than-flattering fact seems to stand in conflict with God’s glowing assessment of David. Years earlier, God had the prophet Samuel inform the disobedient Saul that his reign would soon be coming to an end.

“But now your kingdom must end, for the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart. The LORD has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.” – 1 Samuel 13:14 NLT

Centuries later, the apostle Paul, while preaching to the Jews in the synagogue at Antioch, reconfirmed this divine designation of David as a man after His own heart.

“After that, God gave them judges to rule until the time of Samuel the prophet. Then the people begged for a king, and God gave them Saul son of Kish, a man of the tribe of Benjamin, who reigned for forty years. But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.” – Acts 13:20-22 NLT

But this lofty description of David did not mean he was perfect or without sin. Like any other man, David struggled with his own sinful nature. He could be prone to disobedience and doubt, just like anybody else. He had his own unique set of sins with which he struggled. One sin, in particular, is hinted at in verses 2 through 5 of 2 Samuel 3, and it would prove to be a constant source of temptation and testing for him: His love of women.

While David grew stronger in his military position over Abner and the house of Saul, he was literally sowing the seeds of dissent and future discord that would rip his still fledgling kingdom apart. It is important to note that God had made ample preparations for Israel to have a king. In fact, He had preordained it but knew that the people would tend to want the wrong kind of king. So, He provided them with very clear commands:

“You are about to enter the land the Lord your God is giving you. When you take it over and settle there, you may think, ‘We should select a king to rule over us like the other nations around us.’ If this happens, be sure to select as king the man the Lord your God chooses. You must appoint a fellow Israelite; he may not be a foreigner.

“The king must not build up a large stable of horses for himself or send his people to Egypt to buy horses, for the Lord has told you, ‘You must never return to Egypt.’ The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord. And he must not accumulate large amounts of wealth in silver and gold for himself.” – Deuteronomy 17:14-117 NLT

Somewhat hidden and overlooked in this divine command is God’s prohibition against polygamy. But God made it crystal clear that His king “must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord.”

Yet, the opening verses of chapter 3 reveal that the man after God’s own heart had a hidden heart problem. Verse 2 states that “sons were born to David at Hebron.” That rather innocent-sounding statement is fraught with unseen baggage that will prove to be an ongoing problem for David. A quick scan of the following verses reveals the invisible pathogen lurking in David’s heart.

These verses reveal that David had four different wives: Ahinoam of Jezreel, Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel, Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur, and Eglah. Not on this list is Michal, the daughter of Saul and David’s first wife. So effectively, at this early point in his reign, David had no less than five wives and, before he was done, the list would grow to as many as eight.

It doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to determine that David had an inordinate attraction to women, and he tended to act on it. One of his wives was Abigail, who was the widow of Nabal. This God-fearing woman had prevented David from killing her foolish husband, but when God took Nabal’s life, David wasted no time in taking Abigail as his wife.

David could be impulsive, and if we fast-forward to one of the most famous or infamous events in his life, it will become readily apparent that his impulsiveness led him to commit not only adultery but murder. Second Samuel 11 records the story of David and Bathsheba, a less-than-flattering moment in David’s life that would prove to be a personal low point.

At a time when David should have been leading his troops in battle, he determined to remain safely ensconced in his royal palace. One day, while walking on the roof, he saw a woman named Bathsheba bathing on the roof of her own home. Some speculate that this was not the first time David had witnessed this scene; it could have been the very reason he stayed home from battle. But on this occasion, David’s act of voyeurism prompted him to have Bathsheba brought to the palace. What happened next became a permanent blot on David’s record. Their illicit liaison resulted in an unexpected pregnancy but that would not be the worst part of the story.

Bathsheba’s husband, who served as a soldier in David’s army, was off at war, so it was going to be difficult to explain how his wife became pregnant. That’s when David launched an all-out campaign to cover his sin. But his strategy failed and he ultimately resorted to having Bathsheba’s husband murdered. He ordered that this innocent man be exposed to enemy fire on the front lines, thus opening the door for David to take Bathsheba as his wife.

This was not a stellar moment for David but it provides a glimpse into this highly vulnerable area of his life. His love affair with women would prove to be problematic throughout his reign. In fact, a close look at the list of his sons contains the names of Amnon and Absalom. These two brothers born to different mothers would grow up to cause David much pain and suffering. Second Samuel 13 contains the sad story of Amnon’s rape of Tamar, his half-sister. To avenge the rape of his own sister, Absalom orchestrated Amnon’s murder. which resulted in his own exile. He would later return, only to orchestrate the overthrow of his own father’s kingdom.

Verses 1-5 of chapter 3 appear innocent enough but they foreshadow a future filled with brokenness, pain, and suffering. It all began with David’s unwillingness to obey the command of God. This man after God’s heart decided to play fast and loose with God’s revealed will and while David never seemed to allow his many wives to lead him away from his love and worship for God, one of his sons would. Solomon would not only inherit his father’s throne but his addictive tendencies as well. In fact, Solomon would outdo his father in a major way, eventually amassing for himself a staggering harem of 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:1-3). These women, many of whom were from foreign nations and worshiped pagan gods, would eventually cause Solomon to erect their idols throughout his own kingdom – just as God had warned. The book of 1 Kings paints a very bleak picture of the closing days of Solomon’s reign.

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the abomination of Moab, and for Molech the abomination of the Ammonites, on the mountain east of Jerusalem. And so he did for all his foreign wives, who made offerings and sacrificed to their gods. – 1 Kings 11:1-8 ESV

And it all began with David. A little compromise. A giving into the desires of the flesh. A refusal to obey God fully and heed His warning. The long-term ramifications of sin can be devastating. Yes, when David repented of his sin with Bathsheba, he was forgiven by God but the child she bore died in infancy. There are consequences to disobedience. God blessed David’s kingdom, but his many wives would prove to be a constant source of trouble in his life. His battle with the house of Saul would be nothing compared to the spiritual war he would wage as a result of his own sinful nature.

None of this was news to God. He was well aware of David’s strengths and weaknesses. He knew the condition of David’s heart better than David himself, and He was exposing all the flaws so that the man after His own heart might have a heart that beat fast for Him – and nothing else.

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
    and desperately wicked.
    Who really knows how bad it is?
But I, the Lord, search all hearts
    and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
    according to what their actions deserve.” – Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.