affection

Tough Love Isn’t Easy, But It’s Necessary

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10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. 13 Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. A situation had occurred that compelled Paul to write a now-lost letter. In that letter, he had been forced to confront the issue.

I wrote to you so that in the sight of God you could see for yourselves how loyal you are to us.– 2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV

Paul says the purpose behind writing his confrontational letter was to reveal to them just how loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently, the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself.

Paul always had critics; there was no shortage of those who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this follow-up letter, Paul responds to the Corinthians after hearing back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation firsthand. The report from Titus was encouraging.

“Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. Titus had informed him that the Corinthians had remained committed to his teaching and leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced “leads us away from sin and results in salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce disappointment and, ultimately, death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it is non-productive and unhelpful. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the Corinthians’ sorrow had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

Paul’s earlier letter had produced a sorrow that revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain, and were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty, and they realized they had been lax in dealing with the one causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin; the Holy Spirit had done the rest. The Spirit had used Paul’s words to convict the Corinthians, and the outcome had been their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. He states, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). Titus returned joyful and told Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter by telling them, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same way he started his letter.

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering. – 2 Corinthians 7:4 NET

Paul was greatly encouraged by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep longing to see them grow spiritually, and a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul endure the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions.

He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had led to their sorrow and repentance, and their repentance had resulted in their salvation; they had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of Paul’s love and with the Holy Spirit’s help, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow.

But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin and had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts and affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil their fun. Your fear that your child will see you as a spoilsport is not good parenting, and it certainly isn’t love. In fact, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to disappoint and even to produce hostility as long as it results in godly sorrow, which leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, tough love is hard. Our innate desire to be liked by others prevents us from loving them the same way You love us. You refuse to tolerate our sin or allow us to make our personal pleasure our top priority. It’s not that You isolate us from temptation or innoculate us from sin’s influence; it’s that You use Your Holy Spirit to confront and convict us when we do sin. You lovingly expose our acts of rebellion and call us to repent of them. And that is what Paul did with the Corinthians. He loved them too much to tolerate their ungodly behavior. He was willing to risk losing their affection to keep them from damaging their relationship with You. Their spiritual well-being meant more to him than their friendship. But it is so easy to see our tolerance of one another’s sins as somehow loving. We convince ourselves we are just being patient and non-judgmental. But Peter said, “the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God’s household” (1 Peter 4:17 NLT). The Proverbs states, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6 NLT). Give me the strength to love others well by making their holiness a higher priority than their happiness. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

What God Has Joined Together

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Maidens

1 Where has your beloved gone,
    O most beautiful among women?
Where has your beloved turned,
    that we may seek him with you?

She

2 My beloved has gone down to his garden
    to the beds of spices,
to graze in the gardens
    and to gather lilies.
3 I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;
    he grazes among the lilies.

He

4 You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love,
    lovely as Jerusalem,
    awesome as an army with banners.
5 Turn away your eyes from me,
    for they overwhelm me—
Your hair is like a flock of goats
    leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
6 Your teeth are like a flock of ewes
    that have come up from the washing;
all of them bear twins;
    not one among them has lost its young.
7 Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate
    behind your veil.
8 There are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
    and virgins without number.
9 My dove, my perfect one, is the only one,
    the only one of her mother,
    pure to her who bore her.
The young women saw her and called her blessed;
    the queens and concubines also, and they praised her.

10 “Who is this who looks down like the dawn,
    beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun,
    awesome as an army with banners?”

She

11 I went down to the nut orchard
    to look at the blossoms of the valley,
to see whether the vines had budded,
    whether the pomegranates were in bloom.
12 Before I was aware, my desire set me
    among the chariots of my kinsman, a prince.

Others

13 Return, return, O Shulammite,
    return, return, that we may look upon you.

He

Why should you look upon the Shulammite,
    as upon a dance before two armies? – Song of Solomon 6:1-13 ESV

In this chapter, we seem to be witnessing a highly competitive compliment duel between Solomon and his new bride. These two love birds end up dishing out the mutual flattery in huge doses as if each is trying to one-up the other in the commendation department.

It all begins with her friends questioning the whereabouts of the maiden’s missing husband. This all started with a dream in which the new bride refused her husband entry into her bed chamber. Her excuse was that she was already prepared for bed and didn’t want to get up to open the door. He persisted for a while but finally gave up, so when she eventually changed her mind and opened the door, he was nowhere to be found. This led her on a desperate search and she begged her friends for their assistance.

Their response comes across as a bit sarcastic in tone.

“Where has your lover gone,
    O woman of rare beauty?
Which way did he turn
    so we can help you find him?” – Song of Solomon 6:1 NLT

This doesn’t appear to be a legitimate concern for his well-being but seems to be the caddy response of a few jealous and unsympathetic peers. These women have had to watch as their former unmarried friend became the bride of the kingdom’s most powerful and influential man. Not only is he rich and of royal pedigree, but he’s handsome beyond belief. Their reticence to participate in her search party seems to be driven by their petty jealousy. But remember, this entire episode is taking place within the Shulamite maiden’s dream. This means that what we are reading is the figment of her overactive imagination. This conversation never actually took place in real life. In her subconscious, she imagines her former friends as disgruntled and envious because of her good fortune.

Her response to their sarcastic question reveals that she saw through their insincere show of concern. She answers them by rubbing their noses in her good fortune.

My lover has gone down to his garden,
    to his spice beds,
to browse in the gardens
    and gather the lilies.
I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine.
He browses among the lilies. – Song of Solomon 6:2-3 NLT

While some scholars see this as a reference to an actual garden, it makes much more sense to see it as yet another thinly veiled metaphor for the sexual act. In a way, the bride is describing the intimacy she enjoys with her husband. This is the same terminology used by Solomon in chapter five, verse 1.

As in any dream, the scenes change quickly and dramatically. In one moment, she is searching for her missing husband, and then, as if out of nowhere, she is enjoying an intimate moment of passionate love.

This is followed by Solomon’s vivid and somewhat verbose description of his wife’s beauty.

You are beautiful, my darling,
    like the lovely city of Tirzah.
Yes, as beautiful as Jerusalem,
    as majestic as an army with billowing banners. – Song of Solomon 6:4 NLT

He finds her beauty to be captivating and impossible to ignore. He can’t take his eyes off of her, no matter how hard he tries. He even brags that he would choose her as his one and only, even if he had “sixty queens and eighty concubines and countless young women” from which to choose (Song of Solomon 6:8 NLT). Sadly, this scenario would become an eventual reality. The day would come when Solomon amassed a harem consisting of 700 wives and 300 concubines. His insatiable and uncontrollable love for the opposite sex would eventually get the best of him, resulting in a life marked by immorality and idolatry.

…his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. So Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and did not wholly follow the Lord… – 1 Kings 11:3-6 ESV

But at this moment in the poem, Solomon appears to be committed to his wife alone. He is speaking hyperbolically, exaggerating his words for emphasis. But his statement is almost prophetic, foreshadowing a less-than-stellar future lurking on the horizon.

Verses 11-12 appear to be the words of Solomon’s wife as she expresses yet another metaphorical description of one of their sexual encounters. These two are deeply in love, and while her dream features a brief moment of separation, she is going out of her way to insist that their physical attraction has not waned in the least.

I went down to the nut orchard
    to look at the blossoms of the valley,
to see whether the vines had budded,
    whether the pomegranates were in bloom.
Before I was aware, my desire set me
    among the chariots of my kinsman, a prince. – Song of Solomon 6:11-12 NLT

The two are reunited emotionally and physically. Despite their temporary separation, relegated to a dream, they still love one another deeply.

Verse 13 appears to be the call of her jealous friends, who long for things to go back to the way they were before.

Return, return to us, O maid of Shulam.
    Come back, come back, that we may see you again. – Song of Solomon 6:13 NLT

They miss the good old days when the maiden was one of them. They would prefer for her to be single again, rather than enjoying the pleasures and perks of marriage to the king. This simple verse virtually shouts the envy that clouds their thinking and prevents them from rejoicing in her good fortune.

But Solomon is unwilling to give up his bride and chides the maidens for longing to disrupt their union by fomenting a break in their relationship. He does not want anyone, friend or foe, to come between him and his bride. This man is committed to his bride for the long haul, and he will not allow anyone or anything to separate them. He almost echoes the words of Jesus when He stated, “Let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:9 NLT.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

In It For the Long Haul

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She

1 I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

2 As a lily among brambles,
    so is my love among the young women.

She

3 As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house,
    and his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with raisins;
    refresh me with apples,
    for I am sick with love.
6 His left hand is under my head,
    and his right hand embraces me!
7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

8 The voice of my beloved!
    Behold, he comes,
leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
9 My beloved is like a gazelle
    or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
    behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
    looking through the lattice.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away,
11 for behold, the winter is past;
    the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth,
    the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
    is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree ripens its figs,
    and the vines are in blossom;
    they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
    and come away.

He

14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
    in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
    let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
    and your face is lovely.

She

15 “Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

16 “My beloved is mine, and I am his;
    he grazes among the lilies.
17 Until the day breathes
    and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
    or a young stag on cleft mountains.” – Song of Solomon 2:1-17 ESV

In the opening lines of this chapter, the maiden continues to describe herself in terms that are meant to convey her desire for her lover to find her attractive. Earlier in the poem, her self-description seemed to border on self-deprecation, as she pointed out her sun-darkened skin. She appears to have feared that her lack of a porcelain-like complexion would be unattractive to her beloved.

But here, she compares herself to two common flowers of the field, located in a region called the Sharon. When we read, “Rose of Sharon” we tend to think of an expensive rose purchased from the local florist, but this was most likely a commonplace flower of the bulb family, like a crocus, narcissus, iris, or daffodil. They were everywhere in the rich and fertile valley of the Sharon. She isn’t describing herself as being rare and unequaled in one-of-a-kind beauty but as one among many. She is no more unique or attractive than the maidens who appeared earlier in the poem. It is not her stunning beauty that sets her apart but her awareness of her own commonness. She is a simple flower of the field, a lily of the valley. In a sense, she is confessing that girls like her are a dime a dozen.

But her lover refutes her seeming self-deprecation by declaring her to be a “lily among brambles” (Song of Solomon 2:2 ESV). According to him, all the other maidens are no more than thorns and thistles when compared to her beauty. He sees her through the love-smitten eyes of a passionate admirer who has lost his ability to appreciate the beauty of anyone but her. She is anything but a garden-variety flower to him; she is eye-catching and heart-stirringly beautiful beyond compare.

In an attempt to equal his kind and gracious words, the young woman returns the compliment by comparing him to a fruit-bearing tree nestled among the towering trees of the forest. It is unlikely that she is referring to an apple tree, even though that is a common interpretation of the Hebrew word, tapûaḥ. But since apple trees are rare in that region of the Middle East, it is more likely a reference to a lemon or citron tree. Her point seems to be that her lover stands out among the crowd; he is unlike all the others. In a forest of similarly looking and completely fruitless trees, he is a fruitful and refreshing change of pace.

It is difficult to read her descriptions of her lover and not see them as having erotic and sexual overtones.

“I sit in his delightful shade
    and taste his delicious fruit.” – Song of Solomon 2:3 NLT

Her thinly veiled sexual attraction is hard to miss; she finds her lover extremely attractive and desirable. She can barely contain herself but attempts to disguise her hormone-infused urges with metaphorical flourishes designed to send a pointed message that she hopes her beloved understands.

She is so smitten by the love of her life that she describes herself as “sick with love” (Song of Solomon 2:4 ESV). She’s love sick. Her pheromones are firing at a fever pitch and she can hardly constrain herself. Any moments she gets to spend with this man are like heaven on earth. Whether it’s enjoying a meal together or spending intimate moments together when no one else is around, she relishes every opportunity to be in his presence. Enjoying his company is a form of nourishment to her, like consuming delicious fresh fruit. He feeds and fulfills her, and she begs her unmarried friends to not settle for anything less than a faithful and fruitful future husband. Marriage is meant to last forever and that can feel like an unbearable eternity when you fail to choose a mate whose very presence complements and completes you.

As much as she longs to be in the presence and arms of her lover, the maiden reveals how much she enjoys having the roles reversed. In verses 8-9, she paints the picture of her lover seeking out her company.

“Ah, I hear my lover coming!
    He is leaping over the mountains,
    bounding over the hills.
My lover is like a swift gazelle
    or a young stag.
Look, there he is behind the wall,
    looking through the window,
    peering into the room.” – Song of Solomon 3:8-9 NLT

Nothing thrills a young girl’s heart more than the thought of being pursued. The fact is, this is a common trait of every human being, male and female. We all desire the love and attention of another, and for this young lady, the prospect of her love interest reciprocating her desire for companionship was highly appealing.

She imagines him coming to her home and begging her to run away with him.

“Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!
Look, the winter is past,
    and the rains are over and gone.
The flowers are springing up,
    the season of singing birds has come,
    and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
The fig trees are forming young fruit,
    and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
Rise up, my darling!
    Come away with me, my fair one!” – Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NLT

She couldn’t wait for the day when he popped the question and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. That day would be the most spectacular moment of her young life and the start of a mutual journey of love and life that would have no perceivable end.

But in verse 14, we hear from the groom-to-be, who expresses his impression that his future bride is playing hard to get. He accuses her of “hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff” (Song of Solomon 2:14 NLT). It is as if she is playing coy and feigning a reticence to take their relationship to the next level. Each of them has a slightly different take on where they are in their ongoing quest for marital bliss, but they both want the same thing.

They long to take their relationship to the next level, but each of them is coming at it from a slightly different perspective. It seems clear that she is more than just a love-sick young woman who is overly optimistic and unaware of the pitfalls that come with any relationship. That is why she begs her lover to “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love” (Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT). She is painfully aware that there are a host of issues that could spell doom for their relationship if they are left unchecked and unattended to. These seemingly insignificant “little foxes” have a way of doing irreparable damage if allowed to run amuck in the “vineyard” of a relationship. So, she begs her lover to do whatever it takes to remove these pests before it is too late. A healthy long-term marriage must be planted in a vineyard where fruitfulness is possible because steps have been taken to eliminate any unnecessary threats and unwanted interlopers who might do harm to its future sustainability and viability.

In verses 16-17, the maiden returns to her original analogy of her as a lily in the field. She invites her lover to seek her among all the other lilies of the field, once again recognizing her uniqueness and determining to make her his own. He grazes among the lilies but he only has eyes for her. As the two of them continue their ongoing relationship, she encourages him to remain faithful and committed to their future together. Their journey has just begun, but she is thoroughly convinced that they have a long and prosperous future ahead of them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

More Than Skin Deep

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She

12 While the king was on his couch,
    my nard gave forth its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
    that lies between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    in the vineyards of Engedi.

He

15 Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
    behold, you are beautiful;
    your eyes are doves.

She

16 Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green;
17     the beams of our house are cedar;
    our rafters are pine. – Song of Solomon 1:12-17 ESV

There is much debate as to whether this poem is in chronological order or if it is a collection of smaller poems that fail to share a common time sequence. If they are meant to follow one another in sequential order, there appear to be some fairly large gaps in the narrative. The dialogue seems to take a fast leap forward between the first 11 verses of chapter one and the remaining six verses.

The relationship between the two lovers deepens in significance and their rhetoric intensifies, describing what seems to suggest is a much more physical and intimate aspect of their growing love for one another. The young Shulammite maiden describes seeing her lover reclining on his dining couch. As she gazes at him she can’t help but feel a deep attraction to him, comparing him to the fragrant blossoms of the henna plant found in the vineyards of Engeddi.

She reveals her hope that the attraction between them is mutual and that her perfume is having its desired effect. She has adorned herself with a necklace featuring a sachet of aromatic myrrh that hands strategically between her breasts. All of this language suggests that she was trying to seduce her lover. She has spared no expense, having anointed her body with costly nard, a fragrant oil that would have filled the room in which they sat. This is the same type of oil that was used to anoint the head of Jesus.

And while he [Jesus] was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” – Mark 14:3-5 ESV

This young woman has gone to great expense to gain the attention of her beloved and her efforts produced the intended result. Despite the strategically placed necklace and the aromatic perfume, his gaze is drawn to her eyes.

“How beautiful you are, my darling,
    how beautiful!
    Your eyes are like doves.” – Song of Solomon 1:15 NLT

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Looking into someone’s eyes can reveal a lot about their character and their intentions. Jesus described them as lamps that provide light for the body. In a sense, they are portals that control what enters into your heart and reveal its condition to all those around you.

“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!” – Matthew 6:22-23 NLT

In praising the beauty of her eyes, Solomon is looking beneath the surface and complimenting her inner character; she is beautiful inside and out. She has adorned herself with jewelry and expensive perfume, but his gaze is attracted to that which lies within. It is not unlike the earlier compliment she gave to him.

“…your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils…” – Song of Solomon 1:3 NLT

His name, which is synonymous with his character, is like a well-pleasing aroma that follows him wherever he goes. In other words, his reputation precedes him, but in a good way. There is little doubt that this couple shares a mutual attraction to one another but it is more than skin deep. Their emphasis on one another’s inner character is refreshing and provides a wonderful glimpse into a missing ingredient in many relationships today. With our modern-day obsession with externals, it is so easy to overlook the condition of the heart. Social media allows us to create the perfect persona by providing a means of carefully curating only those images that reflect our preferred identity. Few people post unflattering images of themselves online. The increasing availability of software that can enhance or dramatically alter our visage makes it possible to portray ourselves in a way that is more wishful thinking than reality.

Yet, this couple was anything but lovestruck and blinded by passion. They appear to be fully aware of each other’s inner qualities and that knowledge only enhanced their love for one another.

But there is little doubt that this young woman was infatuated with her lover’s outer appearance. She makes that point embarrassingly clear when she states, “You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words!” (Song of Solomon 1:16 NLT). He was good-looking as well as being of good character, and those two traits made him all the more appealing to her. The old adage, “Love is blind,” is meant to convey the idea that outer beauty is not the only factor considered when two people fall in love. There is far more to the equation than simply good looks, and yet, it never hurts to fall in love with someone who is easy on the eyes. That is clearly the case with her beloved.

Just being out in nature with her significant other brings her great joy and pleasure. She describes the great outdoors as if it is their private sanctuary.

“The soft grass is our bed;
    fragrant cedar branches are the beams of our house,
    and pleasant smelling firs are the rafters.” – Song of Solomon 1:17 NLT

This should not be taken as a description of sexual intercourse or an inference that this couple was involved in any kind of immorality. She simply describes a carefree afternoon with the love of her life as they share the beauty of God’s creation and one another’s company. Just being together brought her great joy. While they were not yet married and didn’t share a home together, they were able to turn every moment into an opportunity to live as if they were already one.

This relationship was being built on a foundation of mutual respect, shared admiration, unwavering love, and a commitment to the long haul. They were in this for the duration, and while their words reflect a somewhat innocent and inexperienced outlook on love, it is clear that there is more to this relationship than meets the eye.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.