Amnon

The Perils of Procrastination

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10 Then David slept with his fathers and was buried in the city of David. 11 And the time that David reigned over Israel was forty years. He reigned seven years in Hebron and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. 12 So Solomon sat on the throne of David his father, and his kingdom was firmly established.

13 Then Adonijah the son of Haggith came to Bathsheba the mother of Solomon. And she said, “Do you come peacefully?” He said, “Peacefully.” 14 Then he said, “I have something to say to you.” She said, “Speak.” 15 He said, “You know that the kingdom was mine, and that all Israel fully expected me to reign. However, the kingdom has turned about and become my brother’s, for it was his from the LORD. 16 And now I have one request to make of you; do not refuse me.” She said to him, “Speak.” 17 And he said, “Please ask King Solomon—he will not refuse you—to give me Abishag the Shunammite as my wife.” 18 Bathsheba said, “Very well; I will speak for you to the king.”

19 So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him on behalf of Adonijah. And the king rose to meet her and bowed down to her. Then he sat on his throne and had a seat brought for the king’s mother, and she sat on his right. 20 Then she said, “I have one small request to make of you; do not refuse me.” And the king said to her, “Make your request, my mother, for I will not refuse you.” 21 She said, “Let Abishag the Shunammite be given to Adonijah your brother as his wife.” 22 King Solomon answered his mother, “And why do you ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? Ask for him the kingdom also, for he is my older brother, and on his side are Abiathar the priest and Joab the son of Zeruiah.” 23 Then King Solomon swore by the LORD, saying, “God do so to me and more also if this word does not cost Adonijah his life! 24 Now therefore as the LORD lives, who has established me and placed me on the throne of David my father, and who has made me a house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death today.” 25 So King Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and he struck him down, and he died. – 1 Kings 2:10-25 ESV

Why bother doing something today if you can simply put it off until tomorrow? And why do it at all, if you can leave it for someone else to do? Procrastination can be a powerful temptation, and King David appears to have succumbed to it regularly. Before crowning his son Solomon as successor, David gave him a series of unpleasant tasks to perform after his death. He ordered Solomon to avenge him by putting to death Joab and Shimei, two men who were both guilty of having offended him. But David’s passing of the buck wasn’t because he suffered from the lack of energy that can accompany old age. Procrastination and avoidance had been lifelong struggles for him. He seemed to have a knack for avoiding the unpleasant and delaying the inevitable. When looking back over his life, the examples of his penchant for procrastination are numerous, such as the time when his son, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar. David had actually been complicit in the immoral affair because he had sent Tamar to care for Amnon, whom he believed to be sick. To fulfill his lustful obsession with Tamar, Amnon had convinced David that he was ill and needed his sister’s care. When David heard what Amnon had done, he was incensed.

When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry… – 2 Samuel 13:21 ESV

Yes, David was enraged by the news of Tamar’s rape, but he did nothing to deal with his son’s actions. For two years, David acted as if nothing had happened, leaving Tamar to live with the shame of her violation while her attacker went unpunished. But eventually, Tamar’s brother Absalom took matters into his own hands and murdered Amnon. When the news of Amnon’s death reached David, he “mourned for his son day after day” (2 Samuel 13:37 ESV), but he took no steps to have Absalom arrested for his crime.

Absalom fled Jerusalem and lived as a fugitive for three years, and, the entire time, David did nothing to avenge the death of his son. When Absalom eventually returned, David continued to put off his legal responsibilities as king, refusing to punish Absalom for murder. This lack of moral fortitude was interpreted by Absalom as weakness, causing him to lose all respect for his father. Eventually, he decided that he would make a better king and led a successful takeover of his father’s throne.

Now, as Solomon prepared to begin his own reign as the king of Israel, he found himself with the unpleasant task of cleaning up some of his father’s unfinished business. On top of that, he had his brother Adonijah to deal with. Just as he had done with Amnon and Absalom, David had left Adonijah unpunished for his crime. This ambitious and conniving young man had almost succeeded in stealing the kingship from Solomon, and yet David had taken no steps to mete out justice. By the time David died, Solomon found himself sitting on the throne, but with his former enemy living in the palace as if nothing had ever happened. Adonijah’s nearly successful coup attempt had gone completely unpunished. Both David and Solomon had allowed him to live, but Solomon had been wise enough to add one clear condition.

“If he proves himself to be loyal, not a hair on his head will be touched. But if he makes trouble, he will die.” – 1 Kings 1:52 NLT

But eventually, Adonijah showed his true colors. He made his way to the palace and approached the queen-mother, Bathsheba, to whom he made what appears to be a simple request. First, he reminded her that, as David’s oldest living son, he had been the rightful heir to the throne.

“As you know, the kingdom was rightfully mine; all Israel wanted me to be the next king.” – 1 Kings 2:15 NLT

Adonijah’s desire for the throne had not diminished. But he knew he needed to tread carefully if he wanted to stay alive long enough to make another attempt at stealing the crown from his younger brother. So, he wisely and cleverly admitted to Bathsheba that the failure of his attempted coup had been Yahweh’s will.

“But the tables were turned, and the kingdom went to my brother instead; for that is the way the LORD wanted it. So now I have just one favor to ask of you. Please don’t turn me down.” – 1 Kings 2:15-16 NLT

He appealed to Bathsheba for one concession. Having been forced to give up his rightful place on the throne, he asked for one thing in return: That Solomon would give him permission to marry Abishag, the maiden who had cared for David during his final days of life (1 Kings 1:1-4).

“Speak to King Solomon on my behalf, for I know he will do anything you request. Ask him to let me marry Abishag, the girl from Shunem.” – 1 Kings 2:17 NLT

Bathsheba agreed to take this seemingly benign request to her son but the reaction she got from Solomon must have surprised her.

“May God strike me and even kill me if Adonijah has not sealed his fate with this request. The Lord has confirmed me and placed me on the throne of my father, David; he has established my dynasty as he promised. So as surely as the Lord lives, Adonijah will die this very day!” – 1 Kings 2:23-24 NLT

To Bathsheba, this must have come across as a bit of an overreaction on Solomon’s part. After all, Abishag was just a Shunnamite servant girl. What difference did it make if Adonijah married her? But Solomon, evidencing the wisdom for which he would become world-renowned, saw through Adonijah’s seemingly innocuous request.

“Although Abishag had been only David’s nurse, in the eyes of the people she passed as his concubine; and among the Israelites, just as with the ancient Persians (Herod. iii. 68), taking possession of the harem of a deceased king was equivalent to an establishment of the claim to the throne . . .” – C. F. Keil, The Books of the Kings

This same scene was played out when Absalom had entered Jerusalem after having stolen the kingdom from David. One of the first pieces of advice Absalom received was to violate the concubines that had belonged to the former king.

“Sleep with your father’s concubines whom he left to care for the palace. All Israel will hear that you have made yourself repulsive to your father. Then your followers will be motivated to support you.” – 2 Samuel 1621 NLT

Solomon was not fooled by Adonijah’s ploy. He knew precisely what his conniving brother was attempting to do and dealt with him accordingly. He ordered the immediate execution of Adonijah, eliminating any further possibilities for his brother to usurp his throne.

Unlike his father, Solomon acted decisively. He did not put off until tomorrow what needed to be done today. While he knew his actions might be questioned by others, he did what needed to be done. He refused to allow this cancer to remain in his kingdom, choosing instead to remove the threat before it could do severe damage. In doing so, Solomon displayed a level of decisiveness that his father had lacked. Even at an early age, Solomon revealed a degree of wisdom and discernment that would serve him well for many years to come.

Procrastination and avoidance are constant threats in the lives of every God-follower.  Putting off those things we deem unpleasant and challenging is a persistent temptation for those who claim to be believers in Christ. Obeying God’s Word promptly and faithfully is not always easy; yet, Jesus said to His disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15, ESV). David knew what to do, but chose not to do it. Instead, he passed the buck to his son, expecting him to clean up the mess he left behind. But Solomon proved to be decisive and deliberate, wisely seeing through his brother’s ruse and eliminating the threat before it had time to become a problem.

Laziness lies at the heart of procrastination, and the Bible has much to say about those who exhibit this dangerous characteristic.

Work hard and become a leader;
    be lazy and become a slave. – Proverbs 12:24 NLT

Lazy people want much but get little,
    but those who work hard will prosper. – Proverbs 13:4 NLT

A lazy person’s way is blocked with briers,
    but the path of the upright is an open highway. – Proverbs 15:19 NLT

A lazy person is as bad as
    someone who destroys things. – Proverbs 18:9 NLT

The apostle Paul reminds us that all we do in life is to be done as if we were doing it for the Lord, as an act of service and sacrifice to Him.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. – Colossians 3:23 NLT

Solomon could have taken his mother’s advice and allowed his brother to marry Abishag, but he realized doing so would only delay the inevitable. In his heart, he knew that Adonijah still posed a threat to his throne. While allowing his older brother to live would have been the easier path to take, Solomon did what needed to be done. He refused to put off what needed to be done today until tomorrow. In doing so, he likely disappointed his mother, but he fulfilled God’s will and protected his kingdom.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

All’s Well That Ends Well – Oh Well

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5 Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. 6 His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” He was also a very handsome man, and he was born next after Absalom. 7 He conferred with Joab the son of Zeruiah and with Abiathar the priest. And they followed Adonijah and helped him. 8 But Zadok the priest and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada and Nathan the prophet and Shimei and Rei and David’s mighty men were not with Adonijah.

9 Adonijah sacrificed sheep, oxen, and fattened cattle by the Serpent’s Stone, which is beside En-rogel, and he invited all his brothers, the king’s sons, and all the royal officials of Judah, 10 but he did not invite Nathan the prophet or Benaiah or the mighty men or Solomon his brother. – 1 Kings 1:5-10 ESV

The author of 1st Kings has established that David is old and nearing the end of his life. And, because he is king, his imminent death sets the stage for the selection of his successor to the throne of Israel. Under normal circumstances, the line of succession would fall to the eldest son. But in David’s case, things were a bit more complex because of the number of sons who had been born by his many wives. David’s home life was less than simple and further muddied by his far-from-ideal parenting style.

His oldest son had been Amnon, but he had been murdered by his half-brother, Absalom, for raping Absalom’s sister, Tamar. When David failed to punish Amnon for his crime, Absalom took matters into his own hands. Daniel was the second son of David, but he likely died early because, other than the record of his birth in 2 Samuel 3:3, he is never mentioned again. That leaves Absalom and Adonijah as the next two in line for the throne. But Absalom was also dead. After launching what appeared to be a successful coup for his father’s throne, Absalom was killed in battle against David’s forces (2 Samuel 18). This left Adonijah as next in line for ascension to the throne.

But God had other plans, and had been David clear instructions regarding his heir, and it was not going to be Adonijah. Even before Solomon had been born, God visited David and gave him a message concerning the identity of the son who would continue the Davidic dynasty.

“Behold, a son shall be born to you who shall be a man of rest. I will give him rest from all his surrounding enemies. For his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quiet to Israel in his days. He shall build a house for my name. He shall be my son, and I will be his father, and I will establish his royal throne in Israel forever.” – 1 Chronicles 22:9-10 ESV

In a sense, Solomon had been a gift from God after David suffered the loss of the son born through his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). That child had been the byproduct of David’s immoral affair with a married woman. To complicate matters further, when David had discovered that Bathsheba was pregnant, he tried to cover up his indiscretion. When that failed, he ordered Bathsheba’s husband’s death and then took his widow to be one of his wives.

Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife, and slept with her. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and David named him Solomon. The LORD loved the child and sent word through Nathan the prophet that they should name him Jedidiah (which means “beloved of the LORD”), as the LORD had commanded. – 2 Samuel 12:24-25 NLT

And this complicated and confusing background sets the stage for what happens in the opening chapter of 1st Kings. As the next-oldest living son, Adonijah assumed that he was the rightful heir to the throne, and he began to prepare for the transition of power.

Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. – 1 Kings 1:5 ESV

It seems that Adonijah had taken notes right out of his older brother Absalom’s playbook . This arrogant display of pomp and circumstance was exactly what Absalom had done as part of his successful strategy to usurp David’s throne.

After this, Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him.  – 2 Samuel 15:1

Adonijah believed he was entitled to be the next king of Israel, and it seems that he was used to getting his way. The author reveals that Adonijah had been spoiled by his father.

Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” – 1 Kings 1:6 NLT

It is unclear whether Adonijah knew of God’s plan for Solomon to be David’s successor. But it is readily apparent that Adonijah was determined to do whatever was necessary to be the next king. He began by building a network of important relationships with individuals of power and influence.

Adonijah took Joab son of Zeruiah and Abiathar the priest into his confidence, and they agreed to help him become king. – 1 Kings 1:7 NLT

This ambitious young man was building strategic alliances that he hoped would prove helpful in his quest for Israel’s throne. But he faced significant opposition. There were those who remained loyal to David and who would see to it that the wishes of the king were fulfilled. It is likely that they were already aware of God’s plan for Solomon to be the next king.

All of this is painfully reminiscent of Absalom’s actions when he began his carefully orchestrated coup to supplant his father as king. Adonijah was not willing to wait for David’s death. He was going to take the throne by force if necessary. But to ensure that he had all the support he would need, Adonijah planned a banquet in the nearby city of En-rogel. He had a carefully crafted invitation list that included all of his brothers and half-brothers, except for Solomon. He also extended invitations to all the royal officials of the land of Judah. At this feast, Adonijah made a covenant commitment with his guests, sealing their agreement to assist him in his coup d’état with blood sacrifices. 

This opening chapter of the book lays the foundation for all that is to come. David is dying. He is weak and incapable of caring for himself. God has established a plan for his succession. But the nation is already showing signs of discord and dissension. Sadly, another one of David’s sons is leading an open rebellion against his own father and creating a potentially deadly situation that could end in bloodshed and division. You can almost feel the sense of foreboding coming off the pages as the author sets the stage for all that is to follow.

The Israelite nation is about to enter a new era, one that will be marked by a slow and steady spiral toward unfaithfulness and spiritual infidelity. With the death of the man after God’s own heart, the people of Israel will find themselves suffering under a succession of shepherds whose spiritual integrity will slowly decline, leaving the nation in a progressively weakened state.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Things Look Down, Look Up

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A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.

1 O Lord, how many are my foes!
    Many are rising against me;
2 many are saying of my soul,
    “There is no salvation for him in God.” Selah

3 But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
    my glory, and the lifter of my head.
4 I cried aloud to the Lord,
    and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah

5 I lay down and slept;
    I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.
6 I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
    who have set themselves against me all around.

7 Arise, O Lord!
    Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
    you break the teeth of the wicked.

8 Salvation belongs to the Lord;
    your blessing be on your people! Selah – Psalm 3:1-8 ESV

While Psalm 2 addressed the issue of foreign adversaries standing opposed to God’s anointed king, this Psalm portrays a more intimate and internal threat. David has had to abandon Jerusalem and his throne because his son, Absalom, has taken over his kingdom. The details of this tragic event are recorded in the Book of 2 Samuel.

Absalom had recently returned from Geshur, where he had been living in exile after having killed his half-brother, Amnon. The sordid details of this story paint a less-than-pleasant picture of David’s homelife and parenting skills. He had a large and rapidly growing family because of his many wives. These marriages were in direct violation of God’s command.

“The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord.” – Deuteronomy 17:17 NLT

While David had managed to remain faithful to Yahweh, his large blended family was anything but a picture of domestic bliss. His violation of God’s command produced a series of unfortunate events that ultimately led to the events recorded in Psalm 3. Chapter 13 of 2 Samuel 13 records Amnon’s lust-fueled rape of his half-sister Tamar. This violent act went unpunished by David, leaving Tamar in a state of mourning over the loss of her virginity. She was damaged goods and, in that culture, would likely remain unmarried the rest of her life. When her brother Absalom saw that their father was not going to deal with Amnon’s crime, he took matters into his own hands and arranged for Amnon’s death. This crime also went unpunished by David. Rather than stepping up and meting out justice, David remained silent and allowed Absalom to escape to Geshur.

In time, David allowed his exiled son to return, but refused to restore their relationship. In time, Absalom became embittered by his father’s passive-aggressive behavior. David’s avoidance of his son only fueled Absalom’s disrespect and resentment for him. Eventually, Absalom devised a plan to steal the throne from his father. Through a series of clever ploys, Absalom managed to win the hearts of the people and pull off a bloodless coup that forced David to abandon Jerusalem and concede the kingdom to his son.

Psalm 3 was written as all this was going on. So, David was going through some significantly trying circumstances. He had lost everything, including his kingdom, the love of his own son, and the respect of his people. His world had been turned upside down. To make matters worse, his enemies used this collapse of David’s fortunes to torment him. They accused God of having abandoned His anointed kind.

“God will never rescue him!” – Psalm 3:2 NLT

Even as David fled the capital, he was confronted by a man named Shimei, who took the opportunity to berate the fallen king and accuse him of getting what he so richly deserved.

As King David came to Bahurim, a man came out of the village cursing them. It was Shimei son of Gera, from the same clan as Saul’s family. He threw stones at the king and the king’s officers and all the mighty warriors who surrounded him. “Get out of here, you murderer, you scoundrel!” he shouted at David. “The Lord is paying you back for all the bloodshed in Saul’s clan. You stole his throne, and now the Lord has given it to your son Absalom. At last you will taste some of your own medicine, for you are a murderer!” – 2 Samuel 16:5-8 NLT

These were dark days for David, but this Psalm reveals his understanding of God’s faithfulness. Despite all that had transpired, David maintained a confidence in God that came from personal experience. He knew his God was a shield about him – a form of protection from attack. No matter how bad things got, David knew God would preserve and protect him.

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;
    you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.
I cried out to the Lord,
    and he answered me from his holy mountain. – Psalm 3:3-4 NLT

As a warrior, David used his familiarity with the tools of his trade to describe the faithfulness of God. Yahweh was as reliable as the shield a soldier used in battle to protect himself from certain death. David viewed God as his greatest defense because he knew that his life existed for God’s glory. He had been called and commissioned by God. His reign had been God’s idea and only He could give David honor in the sight of others. David may have lost his throne, but he knew he was in God’s hands. Others may have lost their respect for David, but he knew that ultimately any honor he received was from God and not from his position or possessions. God gave David’s life “weight.” In other words, it was David’s relationship with God that gave his life value – not his job, title, or resume. That is why David could sleep well at night, even when his world seemed to be falling apart.

I lay down and slept,
    yet I woke up in safety,
    for the Lord was watching over me.
I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies
    who surround me on every side. – Psalm 3:5-6 NLT

Despite his losses, David maintained his confidence in God. He knew that God cared for him and was fully capable of rescuing him. His circumstances did not alter his understanding of God. Yes, he had run away from his own son. He had abandoned his throne and was hiding in the wilderness. But David knew that God was the lifter of heads. The Almighty could revive David’s fortunes and even restore him to the throne – if that was His will. That is why David expressed his confidence in God even as he abandoned the city to his son.

“If the Lord sees fit, he will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again. But if he is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him.” – 2 Samuel 15:25 NLT

David knew his God. He had faith in his God. He could rest in his God. He had confidence in his God. So, he cried out to his God. Then he waited. David was not going to let circumstances determine His view of God. A bad day would not alter his understanding of the goodness of God. Unexpected and unwelcome events should never cause the believer to doubt the power or presence of God. Instead, life’s adversities should cause us to turn to Him for help, hope, and healing. Cry out. He answers.

Victory comes from you, O Lord.
    May you bless your people. – Psalm 3:8 NLT

Father, give me the confidence of David. Give me a view of you that is not determined by my circumstances. Help me to see Your faithfulness in the midst of difficulty. Help me to trust You even when things seem out of control, unfair, and difficult to understand. You are my shield, glory, and the lifter of my head. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Spoken From the Heart

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7 And at the end of four years Absalom said to the king, “Please let me go and pay my vow, which I have vowed to the Lord, in Hebron. 8 For your servant vowed a vow while I lived at Geshur in Aram, saying, ‘If the Lord will indeed bring me back to Jerusalem, then I will offer worship to the Lord.’” 9 The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he arose and went to Hebron. 10 But Absalom sent secret messengers throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, ‘Absalom is king at Hebron!’” 11 With Absalom went two hundred men from Jerusalem who were invited guests, and they went in their innocence and knew nothing. 12 And while Absalom was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, from his city Giloh. And the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing. – 2 Samuel 15:7-12 ESV

Another four years would pass before Absalom made the next move in his plan to overthrow his father and take the throne of Israel. The Septuagint (LXX), the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, which came out somewhere between 300-300 BC, has the time length of Absalom’s wait as 40 years. But this would seem to be a scribal error because that doesn’t fit in with the chronological circumstances surrounding the story. But during his four-year delay, Absalom was anything but idle as he carefully and craftily planned for the opportunity to replace his father as king, and that day had arrived.

Absalom requested permission from David to return to Hebron, the town of his birth. The reason he gave for this trip was that it was in keeping with a vow he had made to God while living in exile in Geshur. He had promised God, that in exchange for his safe return to Jerusalem, he would offer sacrifices to Him in Hebron. While the request seems innocent enough, it is odd that David doesn’t question his son’s timing. After all, Absalom had been living in Jerusalem for six years and would have had plenty of opportunities to return to Hebron to fulfill his vow. So, why now? What was the impetus behind Absalom’s sudden desire to keep his word to God? Despite their long history of distrust and disagreement, David doesn’t bat an eye at his son’s request.

This entire exchange should have set off alarm bells in David’s head. If nothing else, it should have caused a resounding sense of dé·​jà vu because David had been here before. Years earlier, Absalom had come to him with a similar and equally innocent-sounding request.

Absalom invited all the king’s sons to come to a feast. He went to the king and said, “My sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?” – 2 Samuel 13:23-24 NLT

When David politely turned down Absalom’s invitation, his son asked if his half-brother Amnon could attend.

“Well, then,” Absalom said, “if you can’t come, how about sending my brother Amnon with us?” – 2 Samuel 13:26 NLT

It had been two years since Amnon had raped Tamar, the sister of Absalom, so David was suspicious of Absalom’s intentions and asked, “Why Amnon?” (2 Samuel 13:26 NLT). But instead of answering his father’s question, he simply increased the pressure and persisted in his request, until David finally relented and gave permission for all his sons to attend the feast. His lack of discernment resulted in Amnon’s murder and Absalom’s exile from the kingdom. 

Now, years later, David once again exhibits a remarkable lack of perceptiveness or naivete. Was David completely unaware of Absalom’s daily actions at the gate of the city? Did his son’s repeated attempts to win over the people of Jerusalem escape his notice? Based on David’s reaction, it would appear that he was either oblivious to Absalom’s motives or unconcerned. David not only gave Absalom his permission, but he also gave his blessing, saying, “Go in peace” (2 Samuel 15:9 ESV).

That simple statement rings with irony because there was nothing peaceful about Absalom’s intentions. His heart was filled with bitterness and rage against his father. He had spent years stewing over David’s role in Tamar’s humiliation. Absalom was an angry young man with an ax to grind and a deep-seated desire to see his father equally humiliated. In his mind, David did not deserve to be king. He had forfeited that right with his failure to mete out justice on Amnon. And when Absalom saw how easily he got away with the murder of Amnon, he realized his father just how weak and ineffective his father was.

As soon as Absalom received David’s permission, he sent spies to all the tribes of Israel to prepare for the next phase of his plan. These men were to spread the news of Absalom’s coup by telling the people, “As soon as you hear the ram’s horn…you are to say, ‘Absalom has been crowned king in Hebron.’” (2 Samuel 15:10 NLT). He had established a network of spies throughout the kingdom that would help announce the news of his kingship as soon as the time was right. This little tidbit of information indicates that Absalom’s PR campaign had extended far beyond the walls of Jerusalem. He had been busy priming the pump and preparing the people for his takeover of David’s kingdom, and it would begin with his inauguration as king in Hebron.

Absalom invited 200 guests to join him. Their identities are not divulged, but they were most likely influential leaders and individuals with whom he had established close relationships. These guests were ignorant of Absalom’s plan because “they went in their innocence and knew nothing” (2 Samuel 15:11 ESV). But when Absalom requests the presence of Ahithophel, one of David’s personal counselors, it reveals that there were others involved in the plot. This whole thing had been well-planned and carefully orchestrated. Everything was coming together just as Absalom had planned it.

…the conspiracy grew strong, and the people with Absalom kept increasing. – 2 Samuel 15:12 ESV

Once again, we see Absalom biding his time. He was in no hurry and was intent on ensuring that his coup was based on a strong public relations strategy. He was going to win through insinuation and incitement. His father was renowned for his military exploits and Absalom knew he could not win the crown through the use of force. He was determined to defeat his father through the spreading rumors of rumors and the instilling of doubt. He was exposing his father’s weaknesses and slowly setting himself up as the preferred alternative. Absalom knew that if he played his cards right, the battle for the crown would be a bloodless one. No swords would be necessary. No lives would be lost. His relentless disinformation campaign would bring down the mighty David and pave the way to the throne of Israel.

Absalom was busy portraying David as immoral and unjust, an incompetent leader, and an uncaring judge of his people. Absalom knew he could win this war in the court of public opinion. He would take advantage of the people’s discontentment and foment increasing dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs. If Absalom had been given access to the power of social media as we know it today, his efforts would have taken far less time. We know first-hand just how destructive and effective words can be. Whether it’s a Facebook post criticizing the current administration or a Twitter feed promoting a new product, these seemingly innocuous bits of information are powerful tools for disseminating both truth and lies. They have become a ubiquitous part of our daily lives. We have seen careers ruined, political campaigns derailed, rumors become reality, lies taken as truth, and uninformed opinions shared in ignorance and without discretion.

Absalom understood the power of words. He knew the destructive nature of innuendo and insinuation. Given enough time, he would be able to take down the most powerful man in the kingdom – without a fight. David’s reputation would be destroyed and his throne taken by a war of words and an onslaught of rumors, half-truths, and intimations regarding his leadership and moral character. But so much of it had been the result of his own sinful indiscretions and indecisive reactions to the events surrounding his life. He had brought this on himself. Absalom had simply exploited David’s weaknesses and unwillingness to do the right thing when it counted.

Absalom’s determination to do this to his own father reveals the degree of his dissatisfaction and disdain for David. He was a son who had long ago lost any respect or regard for his own father. He saw David, not as a man to be honored, but as an unfit king who deserved to be taken down.

David would later write in one of his psalms:

O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness;
    you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked.
Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence,
    for you hate all who do evil.
You will destroy those who tell lies.
    The Lord detests murderers and deceivers. – Psalm 5:4-6 NLT

Absalom was wicked and proud. He was a murderer and deceiver. He was a liar and a lover of evil. But as will become apparent, his plan to overthrow his father and take his throne would prove successful. Yet, God would have the last word. In the book of Proverbs, compiled by David’s son, Solomon, who would be God’s chosen successor to the throne, we read the following words:

The plans of the godly are just;
    the advice of the wicked is treacherous.

The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush,
    but the words of the godly save lives. – Proverbs 12:5-6 NLT

While David had made many mistakes and was ultimately responsible for the sordid state of his kingdom, he was still a man after God’s own heart. He longed to serve his God and care for the kingdom he had been given to rule and reign over. He had not always done it well or with integrity, but his heart was right. Absalom, on the other hand, was an impetuous, headstrong upstart who cared only for himself. He could not be trusted. His words, while powerful and effective, were deceitful and ungodly. Nothing Absalom had planned or put into action had been done with God’s guidance or approval. He had acted according to his own wicked heart. His motives had been purely selfish and driven by revenge.

It’s interesting to note that, years later, Solomon would write a proverb addressed to his own son. Perhaps he had his own brother Absalom in mind when he penned these words:

My child, pay attention to what I say.
    Listen carefully to my words.
Don’t lose sight of them.
    Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
for they bring life to those who find them,
    and healing to their whole body.

Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:20-23 NLT

Centuries later, Jesus, a descendant of David, would pick up on this same theme:
But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you. – Matthew 15:18-20 NLT
Absalom’s words and actions revealed the true condition of his heart. It was defiled and devoid of righteousness. His heart had long ago been hardened by sin and the words that flowed from his lips were polluted by anger, resentment, evil thoughts, and wicked schemes. And while those defiled and ungodly words would be the cause of his rise to power, they would also be the reason for his demise. His life would be a testament to the truth found in James 3:6: “…the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Shame of Shepherdless Sheep

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1 After this Absalom got himself a chariot and horses, and fifty men to run before him. 2 And Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way of the gate. And when any man had a dispute to come before the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And when he said, “Your servant is of such and such a tribe in Israel,” 3 Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” 4 Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. – 2 Samuel 15:1-6 ESV

There are a lot of things that could be said about Absalom – many of them negative. But he was anything but impatient. He spent two years plotting his revenge against Amnon. After successfully orchestrating the execution of his half-brother, Absalom spent another three years living in self-imposed exile in Geshur, patiently waiting to see how and when his father would respond. When David finally agreed to allow his fugitive son to return, Absalom spent another two years under house arrest because his father refused to either pardon or punish him.

As chapter 15 reveals, Absalom ended up biding his time for another four years, quietly and patiently plotting his next move. Absalom was anything but an impulsive hothead; he was calculating and resolute by nature, always planning and plotting his next move with careful precision. Even during his years of exile and excommunication, Absalom was far from idle. As he waited, he used the time to his advantage, carefully crafting his next move.

After spending two years under house arrest in Jerusalem but banned from his father’s presence, Absalom managed to get a meeting with the king. Pressured by Joab, David agreed to meet with his son and ended up restoring him to favor. Once back in his father’s good graces and with his rights and privileges as a son of the king restored, Absalom got busy and put the next phase of his plan into action. He had become well aware of a flaw in his father’s leadership abilities and had personally experienced David’s predilection for procrastination and inaction. He had also been the beneficiary of David’s reluctance to enact justice as God’s appointed judge of Israel. This young man had wasted no time in assessing his father’s weaknesses and plotting his next move.

As he made his way around the capital of Jerusalem, interfacing with the people of Israel, he became more convinced that his father‘s flaws could be exploited to his own advantage. Absalom was an ambitious young man who had shown his willingness to take matters into his own hands. When David had done nothing to punish Amnon for his rape of Tamar, Absalom had stepped in. When Joab refused to respond to his repeated requests for an audience with David, he got Joab’s attention by having his barley fields set on fire. Absalom was a doer. He was driven and determined, and when he saw the chink in David’s armor, he determined to strike a blow.

But Absalom was also cunning and clever and would have made a great politician. He didn’t personally attack David or expose his weaknesses to the press; he simply began a quiet campaign to win over the hearts of the people. He slowly and subtly sowed seeds of doubt regarding David’s leadership over them and his love for them. It all began with a carefully crafted and perfectly implemented publicity campaign. He had been out of sight for years, so he needed to repair his image among the people. To them, he was the rebellious son of the king who had been exiled for murdering his own kin. He was the prodigal son who had been allowed to return home but was treated like a stranger. As he walked around the city, he was likely the object of stares and quiet whispers.

So, to rehabilitate his damaged image, Absalom implemented a strategic plan to alter his public persona. It didn’t hurt that he was good-looking.

Now Absalom was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel. He was flawless from head to foot. – 2 Samuel 14:25 NLT

He was also a family man.

He had three sons and one daughter. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she was very beautiful. – 2 Samuel 14:27 NLT

Now, all he needed was the trappings of success. So he bought himself some wheels and an entourage.

Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him. – 2 Samuel 15:1 NLT

Next, he took his show on the road, and what a sight he made each morning when he arrived at the city gate. Nobody would have missed his arrival or wondered who he was. This was Absalom, son of the king. He was handsome, obviously successful, and, on top of that, he was a man of the people. Absalom knew that the key to successfully running the nation was to win the hearts of the people. So, he devised a plan to do just that. His strategy of going to the city gate each morning was brilliant. It was at the city gate that all business was conducted and justice was dispensed. The people would gather there to have their disputes mediated and complaints heard. As king, David was to have his appointed judges and rulers ready to hear from his people and assist them in arbitrating their disputes and legal problems. But evidently, David had been lax in providing the judgment and justice a growing city required, leaving the people dissatisfied with his leadership. The crowds gathered each day, expecting justice, but walked away with their expectations unmet. But the ever-observant Absalom saw an opportunity and exploited the situation.

Absalom went out of his way to ensure that his daily arrival at the gate would not go unnoticed. His chariot and entourage were hard to miss. He also ensured that the people saw him as not only a person of power and influence but as a man who cared about their needs. The text tells us, “When people brought a case to the king for judgment, Absalom would ask where in Israel they were from…” (2 Samuel 15:2 NLT). He portrayed himself as a man of the people, who cared as much about them as he did about their needs. This well-dressed and powerful young prince would patiently listen to their problems and assure them, “You’ve really got a strong case here! It’s too bad the king doesn’t have anyone to hear it. I wish I were the judge. Then everyone could bring their cases to me for judgment, and I would give them justice!” (2 Samuel 15:3-4 NLT).

Like the serpent in the garden, Absalom sowed seeds of doubt and led the people to question David’s care and concern for their needs. Without attacking his father directly, Absalom subtly undermined his credibility with the people. After all, Absalom was there at the gate, talking, listening, assuring, and promising to do what David had failed to do – provide the people with justice. Absalom’s actions left the people wondering why David had never come to the gate.  Was he too busy to take care of his people? Was he too good to show up at the gate and listen to the problems facing the citizens of his kingdom?

Absalom was sly and crafty, and he was coldly calculating in all that he did. When the people began to see him as someone who cared and who might be willing to assist them with their needs, they treated him with honor and respect, bowing down before him. But when the people fawned over Absalom, he did the unthinkable and unexpected. Rather than allow the people to honor him as some kind of dignitary, he embraced them in his arms, treating them as his equals. Every move he made was premeditated and designed to produce a predetermined plan, and his ploy worked.

Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel. – 2 Samuel 15:6 NLT

An interesting side note in all of this is found in the book of Deuteronomy. It contains a somewhat obscure law regarding what to do with a rebellious son. The fascinating thing about this law is the location where it was to be enacted: At the city gate.

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.” – Deuteronomy 21:18-21 ESV

Absalom was not a drunkard or a glutton, but he was a murderer. Not only that, he was guilty of plotting the overthrow of his father’s kingdom, and he was doing so at the place of judgment: The city gate. He was blatantly using the seat of justice to plot an unjust and unsanctioned overthrow of the king. The stubborn and rebellious son was sowing the seeds of doubt that would later blossom into the fruit of revolution. And he chose to do it at the city gate, the very place where he should have been judged for his crime against Amnon. Had David performed his kingly duties and purged the evil from his household and kingdom, Absalom’s plans to replace his father as king would have never happened.

Once again, David’s failure to act decisively comes back to haunt him. But this entire scenario raises another question. Why was it so easy for Absalom to win over the hearts of the people? Had they become disgruntled and disenchanted with all of David’s well-publicized moral failings? There is little doubt that rumors had spread regarding David’s affair with Bathsheba. Most likely, the news of Uriah’s death had spread and the questions regarding the circumstances surrounding his death would have been many. The whole situation with Amnon and Tamar would not have gone unnoticed by the people of Jerusalem. The murder of the king’s son by his brother would have been headline news. And the very fact that Absalom had been allowed to return without any repercussions would have been fodder for the rumor mill.

There is also the likelihood that David was too busy with the affairs of the state to effectively listen to and address the needs of his people. It was probably about this same time that David became engrossed with the construction of his palace. He was also devising plans for the future construction of a temple in which to house the Ark of the Covenant. David was a busy man but had he become too distracted to care for his own people? It must not be overlooked that God had told David, “Shepherd my people Israel” (2 Samuel 5:2). But somewhere along the way, David had begun to neglect his primary responsibility and, in doing so, he lost the respect of his sheep. They had wandered and were easy prey for someone as crafty and cunning as Absalom. David had left a void that Absalom was more than willing to fill. The sheep were hungry for justice and Absalom was prepared to feed them from his own hand and turn their hearts away from David.

David had one job to do: Shepherd the sheep of Israel. But he had become too busy with the affairs of the state to care for the well-being of God’s flock. He had not even managed to properly shepherd his own family, allowing incest and murder to go unpunished and unresolved. But God has strong feelings about shepherds who fail to perform their roles.

“What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost.” – Ezekiel 34:2-4 NLT

David was going to learn a painful lesson that would cost him dearly. His failure to shepherd well, by fulfilling his responsibilities as a father and a king, would not go unpunished. God would hold him accountable.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

You Can’t Judge a Book By Its Cover

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25 Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 26 And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.’ 27 There were born to Absalom three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a beautiful woman.

28 So Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem, without coming into the king’s presence. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. 30 Then he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire. 31 Then Joab arose and went to Absalom at his house and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” 32 Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death.’” 33 Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom. – 2 Samuel 14:25-33 ESV

David had agreed to Absalom’s return to Jerusalem but had essentially placed him under house arrest and refused to see him. After a three-year absence from the kingdom, Absalom found himself persona non grata, ignored by his own father, and left to wonder why he had agreed to come home at all. Another two years passed, with Absalom confined to his home and David continuing his pattern of avoidance and inaction. He not only refused to meet his son face to face, but he also rejected his legal responsibility as king to administer justice for his son’s crime. Even Absalom would become frustrated by his father’s lack of moral courage and propensity for passivity. For him, this waiting game had become a matter of life or death. He woke up every morning wondering whether he would remain a prisoner in his own home or face execution for a crime he had committed five years earlier. His fate was in his father’s hands and, with each passing day, he became increasingly more frustrated with his untenable situation.

But what makes this section of chapter 14 so interesting is its rather odd emphasis on Absalom’s physical appearance. According to verses 25-27, Absalom had a reputation for his good looks and “was praised as the most handsome man in all Israel” (2 Samuel 14:25 NLT). He may have been a murderer, but he was easy on the eyes. Even while under house arrest, this handsome and somewhat roguish son of the king had become a celebrity. From the soles of his feet to the top of his head crowned with thick luxurious hair, Absalom gave all the appearances of a king-in-waiting. This flattering description of Absalom may seem a bit odd and out of place, but it is intended to set the stage for all that is about to happen. It is eerily reminiscent of the description given of another young man who would become Israel’s first king and David’s predecessor.

There was a wealthy, influential man named Kish from the tribe of Benjamin. He was the son of Abiel, son of Zeror, son of Becorath, son of Aphiah, of the tribe of Benjamin. His son Saul was the most handsome man in Israel—head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land. – 1 Samuel 9:1-2 NLT

In both cases, the text’s emphasis on outer appearances is intended to make a point. When the good-looking Saul turned out to be a far-from-great king, God determined to replace him with a man after His own heart. He sent His prophet Samuel to the home of a man named Jesse with strict instructions to find and anoint the next king of Israel. When Samuel set his eyes on the eldest son of Jesse, he immediately concluded, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!” (1 Samuel 16:6 NLT). But God had other plans and gave the prophet an important lesson in leadership recruitment.

“Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

Jesse would end up parading each of his sons before Samuel, in the hopes that one would catch the prophet’s attention. But it would not be until the youngest son David appeared that Samuel would hear the Lord say, “This is the one; anoint him” (1 Samuel 16:12 NLT). David would be anointed as the God-appointed replacement for the taller and better-looking Saul. The runt of the litter would become God’s choice to serve as the next king of Israel.

Now, years later, David’s good-looking son Absalom appears on the scene; another handsome, head-turning specimen of a man who would end up capturing the hearts of the people and threatening his father’s reign. But for that to happen, Absalom had to force his father’s hand. He refused to put up with his father’s inaction, choosing instead to face the prospect of execution rather than one more day of imprisonment.

During his two years of house arrest, Absalom’s resentment of his father only increased in intensity. He had plenty of time to recall David’s unwillingness to take action against Amnon for raping his sister. David’s inaction had led Absalom to take matters into his own hands. Now, two years later, Absalom found himself enduring the consequences of his father’s inaction yet again. Whatever respect he once held for his father was gone. He viewed David as a man of weakness, plagued by indecisiveness.

It would be centuries later that the apostle Paul would write:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4 NLT

David could have used this simple, yet profound advice. The Greek word Paul used is parorgizō and it is translated as “provoke to anger”. But it can also mean “to exasperate.” To provoke someone to anger sounds like it refers to a deliberate attempt to purposefully annoy or to rouse anger in another individual. While that most certainly can be true in many cases, we can also create anger in another human being by doing nothing. We can frustrate them by our lack of initiative or a general display of apathy. David was provoking in Absalom an anger and resentment that was fed by his father’s lack of leadership. He was slowly beginning to view David as weak and incapable of leading decisively. Absalom viewed his father as incompetent to lead his own family, and would soon reach the conclusion that he was also unqualified to lead the nation of Israel.

Absalom’s growing anger and frustration are on full display in how he handles Joab’s refusal to answer his repeated requests for an audience with the king. Like his boss, Joab did nothing. Finally, Absalom snapped, taking matters into his own hands and commanding his servants to set fire to Joab’s barley crops. While arguably a bit over the top, Absalom’s ploy worked and revealed his growing exasperation with the whole situation. He had waited two years and simply wanted something to be done. He even told Joab, “I wanted you to ask the king why he brought me back from Geshur if he didn’t intend to see me. I might as well have stayed there. Let me see the king; if he finds me guilty of anything, then let him kill me” (2 Samuel 14:32 NLT).

Absalom would rather face death than have to live in limbo, confined to his home. But there is almost an underlying sense that Absalom knew David would do nothing. He seems to have known that his father would never sentence him to death for his murder of Amnon. So he was willing to force David’s hand, confident that his father would act true to form and take no action. Which is exactly what happened. Joab went to David and convinced him to see Absalom, which David did. From all appearances, it seems that David pardoned Absalom, kissing his son, and restoring him to his former state. Absalom got what he wanted, but he would not be satisfied. During his five years of exile, he had plenty of time to consider his future and plan his next moves. This would prove to be just the first step in his plan to take advantage of what he perceived as his father’s leadership flaws.

Absalom was not only “flawless from head to foot” (2 Samuel 14:25 NLT), but he was also clever. He was a natural-born leader, who possessed the good looks, charisma, charm, and powers of persuasion that would make any politician jealous. Now that he was out from under any threat of punishment for his murder of Amnon, Absalom was going to use his good looks and natural leadership skills to plan his future, which would include his father’s downfall.

It’s interesting to note that Paul gave another warning to fathers in his letter to the Colossians. He writes, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart” (Colossians 3:21 NASB). David had frustrated his son by doing nothing to bring justice to the cause of Tamar. After his daughter had suffered the indignity of being raped by her half-brother, David allowed her to remain in a state of mourning and did nothing to avenge her. He avoided his responsibilities as a father and ignored the expressed will of God as found in the Mosaic Law.

If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days. – Deuteronomy 22:28-29 ESV

According to the law, David should have forced Amnon to marry Tamar, and forbidden him from ever divorcing her. No longer a virgin, Tamar was left in a state where she would have been considered “damaged goods” by the men in her community. Her value as a potential wife had been irreparably damaged. All along the way, David’s indecisiveness left a wake of disaster and damaged lives. His inaction allowed Amnon to go unpunished and left Tamar a humiliated and unwanted woman. His unwillingness to do the right thing had only resulted in a host of wrong outcomes. Absalom had killed Amnon and then spent three years in exile. Even when he was allowed to return home, Absalom found himself in a frustrating limbo, trapped by his father’s unwillingness to perform his parental role and his duties as a king. All of this was going to lead to further resentment on Absalom’s part that would ultimately surface as rebellion.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Treating Sin Lightly Can Be Deadly

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18 Then the king answered the woman, “Do not hide from me anything I ask you.” And the woman said, “Let my lord the king speak.” 19 The king said, “Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?” The woman answered and said, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, one cannot turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has said. It was your servant Joab who commanded me; it was he who put all these words in the mouth of your servant. 20 In order to change the course of things your servant Joab did this. But my lord has wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God to know all things that are on the earth.”

21 Then the king said to Joab, “Behold now, I grant this; go, bring back the young man Absalom.” 22 And Joab fell on his face to the ground and paid homage and blessed the king. And Joab said, “Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord the king, in that the king has granted the request of his servant.” 23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 24 And the king said, “Let him dwell apart in his own house; he is not to come into my presence.” So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king’s presence. – 2 Samuel 14:18-24 ESV

As the story unfolds, the woman from Tekoa reveals why Joab chose her for the job. Verse 2 states that she was a “wise” woman, and now it becomes clear just how wise she really was. The Hebrew word the author used to describe her is chakam, and it can refer to someone crafty, shrewd, or wily. While Joab had given this woman the story she told to David, her craftiness shows up in how she handled the situation once David saw through her little ploy. She was adept at thinking on her feet. So, once David guessed that it had all been the handiwork of Joab, she craftily responded, “Nobody can hide anything from you…” (2 Samuel 14:19 NLT).

Most likely fearing David’s anger at having been tricked, she buttered him up by telling him, “you are as wise as an angel of God, and you understand everything that happens among us!” (2 Samuel 14:20 NLT). This woman was shrewd and perfect for the role she had been asked to play. She knew just how to handle David.

But one of the most interesting things she said to the king required no deceit or flattery. She simply told David the truth.

“In order to change the course of things your servant Joab did this.” – 2 Samuel 14:20a

This statement is loaded with significance, and the full weight of its import will not be seen until the story has fully unfolded. Joab had instigated this whole affair to get David to allow the return of Absalom from exile in Geshur. He wanted things back to the way they were before and thought his plan would force a family reunion between David and his son. Joab’s efforts appear to be motivated by his concern for David’s mental and emotional well-being and the impact Absalom’s absence was having on David’s ability to run the kingdom.

King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom. – 2 Samuel 13:39 NLT

Joab realized how much the king longed to see Absalom. – 2 Samuel 14:1 NLT

As David’s friend and military commander, Joab sensed that the king’s three-year separation from his son had taken its toll and was becoming a threat to the nation’s security. So, his attempt to reunite David and Absalom was well-intended but probably misguided. At no point in the narrative does Joab seek the will of God. There is no indication that any aspect of his plan came from God or had His Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Even the woman from Tekoa, who delivered an Oscar-winning-worthy performance, was relying solely on her skills as an actor and her gift of persuasion. When she admits Joab’s role in the whole affair, she ends up praising the wisdom of David but says nothing about the will of God.

“My lord the king, how can I deny it? Nobody can hide anything from you. Yes, Joab sent me and told me what to say. He did it to place the matter before you in a different light. But you are as wise as an angel of God, and you understand everything that happens among us!” – 2 Samuel 14:19-20 NLT

Was any of this God’s will? Had he given Joab instructions to orchestrate this long-delayed reunion between David and his son? While the doctrine of God’s sovereignty would state that He is ultimately in control of all things and nothing happens without His knowledge or permission, that does not mean He approves or condones all that happens. The Bible tells us, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NLT) and “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” (Proverbs 19:21 NLT).

God has given man a certain degree of autonomy and self-determination. But, in the end, His divine will is always accomplished. Joab could scheme and plan. The woman from Tekoa could put on a persuasive performance filled with falsehoods and flattery. But despite their actions, God’s will would be accomplished.

Joab had been out to “change the course of things,” but he was going to find out that, despite his plans and expectations, the purpose of the Lord would ultimately prevail. God had plans for Absalom, and if David refused to do what was just and right concerning his son’s actions, God would step in and do what needed to be done.

David agreed to Joab’s plan and gave permission for Absalom to return home, but it would not prove to be a joy-filled reunion. David instructed Joab, “Absalom may go to his own house, but he must never come into my presence.” (2 Samuel 14:24 NLT). In other words, David allowed Absalom to come home but then placed him under house arrest, effectively keeping Joab in forced exile. He was home but still estranged from his father and family. The happy reunion Joab expected never took place. The prodigal returned, but not to the open arms of his father.

Once again, David took the path of least resistance. He brought his son back, but he neither punished nor pardoned him for his crime of murder. Perhaps David thought he had done Absalom a favor by allowing him to return. But David knew the law of God. He understood that as the king, he was the ultimate enforcer of the law. God demanded that justice be done, and because David’s son was guilty of murder, he deserved to die. But David could not bring himself to condemn his son to death. So, he did nothing. 

The Book of James contains a sobering reminder of the serious nature of David’s inaction.

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. – James 4:4 ESV

David knew what he had to do, but he refused to do it. By placing Absalom under house arrest, David conveniently put this problem out of sight and out of his mind; he didn’t have to think about it. While Absalom had been in Geshur, David had an excuse for doing nothing; his son was under the protection of another king (the father of Absalom’s mother). Now that Absalom was home, David kept him hidden from view so he wouldn’t have to think about him. In a real sense, David was committing the sin of omission. He knew the right thing to do, but he chose to do nothing and, in doing so, he sinned against God.

We can ignore sin or attempt to turn a blind eye to it, but it never goes away. We can refuse to deal with the sin in our life or within the body of Christ, but the danger remains. David’s decision to allow Absalom to return would prove deadly. His son’s presence in the kingdom would be like a cancerous cell being released into the body where it spreads and infects, ultimately bringing death.

David didn’t know it yet, but he was about to get a powerful and painful lesson on what happens when a child of God fails to do what God has called him to do. Yes, God is gracious, merciful, and forgiving, but He is also just and righteous. Absalom had murdered his brother and God’s law demanded that justice be done. Absalom deserved death and, as God’s king, David was obligated to enforce divine justice. Refusing to do so was just another sin, complicating the matter even further. David could attempt to turn a blind eye to Absalom’s transgression, but God couldn’t. David could sequester his guilty son out of sight and out of mind, but the omniscient God of the universe was not fooled and His will was not satisfied. As long as God’s justice remained unfulfilled, He would remain unsatisfied with the status quo. God patiently endured and allowed David to implement his strategy for dealing with Absalom’s sin, but justice would be served. David would learn that ignoring sin never makes it go away. Refusing to deal with it only aggravates it. Avoidance and denial are never effective means for dealing with sin. Failure to confront sin is sin.

In his first letter to the church in Corinth, Paul had to deal with a problem that had come to his attention. There was a member of the local congregation who was having an ongoing affair with his stepmother. To make matters worse, David discovered that, rather than dealing with this blatant case of immorality as sin, the church was actually approving of it. So Paul was forced to write and warn them of the danger of their action (or inaction).

Don’t you realize that this sin is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old “yeast” by removing this wicked person from among you. Then you will be like a fresh batch of dough made without yeast, which is what you really are.” – 1 Corinthians 5:6-7 NLT

Passivity toward sin creates a vulnerability and susceptibility to commit further sin. Sin is infectious and never remains static. It spreads and its very presence within the individual or the body of Christ has a numbing effect that makes further sin not only possible but probable. David could sequester Absalom away, out of sight and out of mind, but the sin of Absalom was going to spread and have a deadly influence on David’s kingdom. David could attempt to lock Absalom away and hope that the forced isolation would do him good, but until justice was served, the situation would only grow worse.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Absolution Without Atonement Is Always Inadequate

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1 Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart went out to Absalom. 2 And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. 3 Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.

4 When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” 5 And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. 6 And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. 7 And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.”

8 Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” 9 And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father’s house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” 10 The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” 11 Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”

12 Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” 13 And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. 14 We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. 15 Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. 16 For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ 17 And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!” – 2 Samuel 14:1-17 ESV

More than three years have passed since Absalom arranged and carried out the murder of his half-brother, Amnon, for raping his sister, Tamar. Absalom fled, knowing he was guilty and deserving of death. He lived in exile in the land of Geshur the entire time and, while David thought about Absalom every day, he took no action regarding his son’s behavior. Technically, as king, David could have absolved his son of guilt and invited him to come home. But that decision would have required David to violate the law of God. There was little doubt concerning Absalom’s guilt and yet David did nothing to render a just and righteous indictment for the crime committed. For three years he failed to mete out justice for what his son had done.

This whole sordid affair had been lived out in the public eye. Everyone in the kingdom of Israel would have been familiar with the intimate and infamous details of the crimes committed by the royal family. It would have been common knowledge that one of the king’s sons had raped his half-sister and was then murdered by her brother. News of Absalom’s escape and exile would have been gossip fodder and, as the years, passed, people would have questioned why David did nothing to resolve the conflict in his own home. There were likely some who were angered by David’s decision to let his son get away with murder. They would have viewed this as a travesty of justice and a blatant display of favoritism. Others would have questioned David’s lack of mercy and his reluctance to use his power as king to pardon his own son.

The rumor mills must have been busy with all kinds of gossip and speculation. Questions swirled about David’s moods and his constant longings for his missing son Absalom. It was in this context that Joab, the king’s friend and military commander, decided to take action. He determined that it would be in the best interest of the kingdom for David to allow Absalom to return. It’s not made clear why Joab felt compelled to do what he did. There are no indications that any of his efforts had the blessing of God. Nowhere in the passage does it reveal him either seeking or receiving a word from God. So, Joab’s plan appears to have been his own idea and the fruit it eventually produced would seem to bear evidence that it was not within God’s will.

When Joab saw how much David longed for Absalom, he concocted a plan to convince David to forgive and forget. Perhaps remembering how Nathan the prophet had used a story to trick David into confessing his sin with Bathsheba, Joab came up with a similar strategy. He hired the services of a “wise woman” to assist him in implementing his plan. The Hebrew word translated as “wise” is ḥāḵām, and it has a range of possible meanings. In the Hebrew Bible, it is most commonly translated as “wise,” but it can also mean, “crafty, cunning, and wily.” Whatever her attributes, this woman’s reputation convinced Joab that she was the perfect person to help carry out his plot.

Joab concocted an elaborate and completely fabricated story for the woman to share with David. It involved the murder of her son by his own brother. In this fallacious tale, the “poor widow” was being pressured by her clansmen to do the right thing and put her second son to death for having murdered his brother. To further enhance the sad story, Joab had her add another twist in the plot that was designed to tug on David’s heartstrings. She described herself to David as a widow with no other sons to protect or provide for her. The living son was her last hope; if he was put to death, she would be helpless and hopeless.

Her fabricated story, while somewhat similar to that of Absalom and Amnon, had some glaring differences. Absalom’s murder of Amnon had not been in the heat of an argument and the result of uncontrolled passion. In other words, his was not a case of unpremeditated murder; he had planned it for over two years. His murder of Amnon had been calculated and carefully orchestrated. Secondly, the execution of Absalom for the murder of his brother would not have left David destitute and alone. He had plenty of other children and a son who would serve as his heir. David was a wealthy and powerful king, not a poor defenseless widow.

This entire scheme appears to be motivated by Joab’s desire to help Absalom return his father’s good graces. Perhaps he believed Absalom was the rightful heir to his father’s throne and his continued absence would make any transition of power impossible. Technically, Absalom was not the heir to the throne. Amnon would have been, but he had been killed. Next in line would have been Chileab, David’s second-born son (2 Samuel 3:3). And little did Joab know that God had already decided to make Solomon the next king of Israel. But Joab, whatever his motivation, did what he thought was best. He believed that by getting David to allow Absalom to return, things would get back to normal in the kingdom.

But when reading this story it is essential to remember that God had already given His will concerning matters of this nature. The Book of Numbers contains His divine provision for those who commit unpremeditated murder. God established six cities of refuge, designed as places where the guilty could go for safety until their case could be judged appropriately. But God made it clear that acts of premeditated murder were not covered under this plan.

But if someone strikes and kills another person with a piece of iron, it is murder, and the murderer must be executed. Or if someone with a stone in his hand strikes and kills another person, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. Or if someone strikes and kills another person with a wooden object, it is murder, and the murderer must be put to death. The victim’s nearest relative is responsible for putting the murderer to death. When they meet, the avenger must put the murderer to death. So if someone hates another person and pushes him or throws a dangerous object at him and he dies, it is murder. Or if someone hates another person and hits him with a fist and he dies, it is murder. In such cases, the avenger must put the murderer to death when they meet. – Numbers 35:16-21 NLT

Absalom deserved death, but Joab was determined to convince the king to grant him a pardon. His reasoning was simple, David needed to put the needs of the kingdom first. The woman’s story was intended to persuade David to do “the right thing.” In the “script” that Joab wrote for the woman, he even suggests that David’s absolution of Absalom would be within God’s will.

“Certainly we must die, and are like water spilled on the ground that cannot be gathered up again. But God does not take away life; instead he devises ways for the banished to be restored.” – 2 Samuel 14:14 NET

These words are a not-so-subtle appeal to God’s mercy and love; they emphasize His forgiveness. But they paint a one-dimensional view of God, conveniently leaving out His justice and holiness. God can’t ignore sin. His divine character will not allow Him to turn a blind eye to the sins of men or issue pardons without appropriate penalties. To do so would be an injustice and a violation of God’s righteousness. Sin must be punished and while Joab’s efforts were well-intentioned, he was encouraging David to supplant the will of God with his own.

As those living on this side of the cross, we know that God eventually provided a means for all sins to be forgiven. But that amazing reality did not come without cost. The apostle Paul reminds us that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23 ESV). Not only that, all humanity stands condemned before God and worthy of death, “for everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23 NLT). But Paul gives us the good news that pardon is available to all.

Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. – Romans 3:24 NLT

The absolution of our guilt and the pardon of our sins did not come without a price; it cost God the life of His own Son. Payment had to be made. The penalty for sin had to be paid by someone and God chose to do it through the life of His sinless Son. The author of Hebrews reminds us, “For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22 NLT).

Joab wanted everything back to the way it was, and he was willing to overlook the sins of Absalom to make it happen. This whole scene was the brainchild of Joab and was intended to get David to overlook the guilt of his son and allow him to return home. Yet this plan circumvented God’s demand for justice. Absolution is not the same thing as redemption. Forgiveness without atonement is impossible. Allowing Absalom to return without demanding that he pay for his crime would not solve the problem; it would only make matters worse.

Yet David, seemingly susceptible to a good story, gave into the woman’s tale and her plea that he allow Absalom to be restored. David’s decision, like so many others he made, would come back to haunt him. He didn’t seek God’s will in the matter but, instead, he allowed his emotions to get the better of him. It seems that the woman, armed with the words of Joab, knew exactly how to get to David’s heart. He longed for Absalom and was just looking for an excuse to bring him home. He didn’t want to mete out justice, which is why he had allowed Absalom to live in the land of his maternal grandfather for three years. Now, David seemed to have a viable excuse for doing what he had wanted to do all along – absolve Absalom of guilt. But while David could forgive and forget, God could not overlook what Absalom had done. Contrary to the wise woman’s words, God does take away life. He had taken the life of David’s newborn son because of his sin with Bathsheba. God had taken the life of Achan and his entire family for bringing sin into the camp (Joshua 7). God had a consistent and fully justified track record of dealing with sin in a just and righteous manner because He is a just and holy God. He is righteous and always does what is right.

David could choose to overlook Absalom’s sin, but God could not and would not. And David would soon learn the painful lesson that while his pardon of Absalom would guarantee his son’s return, it could not redeem and restore his son’s heart.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

You Reap What You Sow

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34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.

37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead. – 2 Samuel 13:34-39 ESV

Three times in just seven verses the words, “Absalom fled” appear. It’s almost as if the author is trying to make a point. Amnon was dead but Absalom got away. David wept at the news but Absalom got away. David mourned while Absalom got away. He had arranged for and accomplished the murder of his half-brother Amnon and, literally, got away with it. He killed the rightful heir to the throne and lived to tell about it. No troops were sent to pursue him. In fact, no action was taken to bring him to justice.

One might suggest that David was too busy mourning the death of Amnon to do anything about his fugitive son Absalom. But it would appear that David’s grief was not focused on Amnon’s death but on Absalom’s dastardly deed and disappearance. In a sense, David had lost two sons. When it came to death, David had a unique perspective. We see it in his reaction to the death of the infant son born to him and Bathsheba. Upon receiving news that his son had passed, “David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate” (2 Samuel 12:20 NLT).

When David noticed that his servants were surprised by the sudden change in his demeanor, David informed them, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me” (2 Samuel 12:21-22 NLT).

David seems to take this same attitude with the death of Amnon. He was gone and nothing David did would ever bring him back. But, for David, the loss of Absalom was even more painful because he was still alive. Yet, David knew that he couldn’t just invite Absalom back into the family as if nothing had happened. As king, David had a responsibility to enact justice and hold his son accountable for his actions. If Absalom were to return, he would have to die for the murder of Amnon. So, David did nothing. Leaving Absalom in exile allowed him to live but for David, he was as good as dead. So, he mourned and he wept, day after day. He had lost two sons in one tragic incident.

But the saddest part of this entire story is that David could have prevented all of it from happening. Had he dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar by fulfilling the law of God and dispensing justice, Absalom would not have been forced to seek revenge. David’s passive parenting style ended up causing more pain in the long run. His refusal to deal with Amnon by disciplining him appropriately left Absalom frustrated by the lack of justice in his own home. His younger sister had been raped and humiliated, but nothing had been done to punish the guilty party.

For three years, David allowed his son to remain safely ensconced in Geshur, a region northeast of the Sea of Galilee, where Absalom found refuge among his mother’s people. According to 2 Samuel 3:3, she was “the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur.” During his exile, Absalom was probably treated as royalty, enjoying all the privileges that come with being the grandson of the king. But during Absalom’s absence, David’s heart went out after him; he missed Absalom and longed to see him. But he knew that if he brought Absalom back, he would have to do the right thing and punish him for what he had done. So David did nothing. As a parent, he excused his son’s behavior. As a king, let a murderer escape justice. Yet, in the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses provided God’s very clear guidelines regarding justice.

You shall appoint judges and officers in all your towns that the Lord your God is giving you, according to your tribes, and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment. You shall not pervert justice. You shall not show partiality, and you shall not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and subverts the cause of the righteous. Justice, and only justice, you shall follow, that you may live and inherit the land that the Lord your God is giving you. – Deuteronomy 16:18-20 ESV

There was to be no perverting of justice and no partiality in terms of its application. By refusing to pursue and punish Absalom, David had violated both aspects of God’s command. As king, David would have been familiar with these laws and he would have known what was expected of him. The Book of Deuteronomy goes on to explain how the king of Israel was to familiarize himself with all of God’s laws.

And when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself in a book a copy of this law, approved by the Levitical priests. And it shall be with him, and he shall read in it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God by keeping all the words of this law and these statutes, and doing them, that his heart may not be lifted up above his brothers, and that he may not turn aside from the commandment, either to the right hand or to the left, so that he may continue long in his kingdom, he and his children, in Israel. – Deuteronomy 17:18-20 ESV

David knew what God required, but refused to do it. He had conveniently ignored God’s command because it conflicted with his own sense of fairness. He couldn’t bring himself to mete out justice to his own son. If you recall, when Nathan confronted David about his sin with Bathsheba, he told a story about a rich man abusing and taking advantage of a poor man. David had no problem showing righteous indignation and demanding justice when it involved someone else’s transgression. But when it involved his own son, David remained silent.

The law of God was clear concerning murder. Again, the Book of Deuteronomy provides explicit instructions on how to deal with those who commit murder.

But if anyone hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him and attacks him and strikes him fatally so that he dies, and he flees into one of these cities, then the elders of his city shall send and take him from there, and hand him over to the avenger of blood, so that he may die. Your eye shall not pity him, but you shall purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, so that it may be well with you. – Deuteronomy 19:11-13 ESV

The guilty party was to be given no refuge, shown no pity, and provided with no special treatment, even if he was a son of the king. David was obligated by law to purge the guilt of innocent blood from Israel. But he refused to do so – for three years.

In his letter to the Galatian believers, Paul gave a warning against sowing to the flesh; in other words, giving in to what our sinful nature wants us to do.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption… – Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

In sinning with Bathsheba, David had sowed to his own flesh. He had given in to his base desires and committed an unlawful act. Then he followed it up by having Bathsheba’s husband murdered to cover up his actions. While God forgave David for his sins, David still had to suffer the consequences they created. The infant son born to him and Bathsheba died as a result of their adulterous affair. Not only that, David was told that, as a result of his sin, the sword would not depart from his house. There would be trouble and conflict within his own home, not just his kingdom.

Then Amnon raped Tamar, which led to Absalom killing Amnon. Now Absalom was living in exile, guilty of murder and deserving of death. Through it all, David did nothing. He remained silent and inactive. He was the king and the final arbiter of justice for the kingdom, but he refused to do his job, and his inaction would reap the whirlwind. Things would get worse before they got better. David could ignore the will of God, but he could not escape the justice of God. He could refuse to do what God called him to do, but God would ensure that His justice was not perverted. God would not be mocked.

Yet, how often do we think we can get away with murder – not literally, but figuratively? We think we can sin, seek forgiveness, and then escape any repercussions for our sins. We wrongly believe we can simply ignore our sins and still enjoy God’s blessings on our lives. We know what He would have us do, but we choose our will over His, then wonder why things don’t turn out as expected. God will not be mocked, by the king or anyone else. Passivity to sin is always dangerous. It is a cancer that spreads, ultimately bringing death and destruction. To ignore it is to invite further pain and suffering into our lives. What we reap, we will always sow.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Deadly Result of Sin and Silence

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20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments. 32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.” – 2 Samuel 13:20-33 ESV

In a relatively short time and with the help of more than a half-dozen different women, David sired a host of children who eventually grew up and lived with him in the royal residence in Jerusalem. These adult sons and daughters from different mothers created a uniquely blended family unit in which the potential for sibling rivalries and domestic disputes would be off the charts. It’s difficult to imagine David’s many wives getting along as they jockeyed to become the king’s favorite, and their maternal instincts to protect and promote their own children must have produced a great deal of tension within the walls of the royal compound.

As the opening verses of chapter 13 disclosed, this far-from-idyllic atmosphere became an incubator for unexpected trouble in David’s home as one of his sons, driven by lust, raped his half-sister. This violent act by Amnon was premeditated and carried out with the assistance of David, who unwittingly sent Tamar to care for her “sick” brother. It was all a ruse and a carefully crafted plot by Amnon to get his sister alone so he could take advantage of her – and his plan worked.

Having been forcefully violated and robbed of her virginity, the humiliated Tamar went into mourning. Her disheveled state and cries of despair didn’t go unnoticed by her blood-brother, Absalom. But it seems that her father was too busy to notice or chose to turn a blind eye to what had happened under his watch.

It was only after Tamar sought refuge in Absalom’s home that David became aware of the matter. The text flatly states, “When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry” (2 Samuel 13:21 ESV). He was incensed by what he heard but he took no action. A crime had been committed under the roof of his home but he chose to ignore it. His own daughter had been raped by her half-brother, yet David chose to do nothing about it. 

Yet God had given clear instructions regarding incest.

If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people. He has uncovered his sister’s nakedness, and he shall bear his iniquity. – Leviticus 20:17 ESV

The only thing unclear about this passage is the exact meaning of the phrase, “shall be cut off.” The Hebrew word has a wide range of meanings and can refer to everything from excommunication from the assembly to actual execution. But there is little doubt that God expected action to be taken in the case of incest. Yet, in the story of Amnon’s rape of Tamar, David, the king of Israel takes no action. Perhaps he was reluctant to deal with Amnon because his sin reminded him of his own affair with Bathsheba. He too, had taken what was not his to have. It could also be the case that, as the eldest son, Amnon was considered to be the heir to David’s throne. But regardless of the reason or David’s rationale, he was in the wrong for refusing to carry out God’s command.

It’s interesting to note that after her humiliation by Amnon, Tamar didn’t go directly to her father. She didn’t seek his help or ask him for vindication. It was Absalom who took note of her mourning and came to her aid, offering her solace and a safe place to recover from the physical and psychological trauma of her experience. Was her reluctance to turn to her own father in her time of need because she feared she would receive neither sympathy nor revenge?  We can only conjecture, but it does raise questions regarding David’s relationships with his children. The only emotion he displays in this story is anger, but it never takes the form of action. Life went on as usual. Amnon was never “cut off” and Tamar was never avenged. In fact, two years passed before any kind of justice was meted out and David would have nothing to do with it.

David’s pattern of inaction and avoidance would create a perfect storm within his household. After two years, David had moved on. He had put the whole affair in the rearview mirror. But while David had chosen to ignore and then forget the sin of Amnon, Absalom brooded, planned, and plotted his revenge. He hated Amnon for what he had done to Tamar. He was also far from happy with his father’s handling of the entire affair. Absalom held a grudge against David for his refusal to punish Amnon for his transgression. He had lost respect for David as a father and as a king and, as the sordid story unfolds, Absalom will eventually stage a coup to take his father’s throne.

But after two years of waiting for his father to do the right thing, Absalom took matters into his own hands and plotted the death of Amnon. It was a well-thought-out plan that utilized deception, just as Amnon had done in his rape of Tamar. Following Amnon’s script, Absalom concocted an elaborate lie to get David to play a role in his deception. He told his father he was planning a feast to celebrate the annual sheering of the sheep. Absalom included David in the invitation but seems to have known that his father would decline the offer because of his duties as the king. Initially, David was a bit surprised and suspicious that Absalom had specifically requested Amnon’s presence. He obviously knew there was bad blood between the two of them and asked, “Why should he go with you?” (2 Samuel 13:26 ESV). But under pressure from Absalom, David finally agreed and sent all his sons to Baal-hazor – a decision he would soon regret.

Absalom commanded his servants, “Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don’t be afraid. I’m the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!” (2 Samuel 13:28 NLT). These instructions should sound vaguely familiar. When David wanted to get rid of Uriah so he could marry Bathsheba, he gave Joab the following instructions:

“Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.” – 2 Samuel 11:15 NLT

When the deed had been done, he followed up with a second message to Joab: “‘Well, tell Joab not to be discouraged,’ David said. ‘The sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow! Fight harder next time, and conquer the city!’” (2 Samuel 11:25 NLT).

Like his father, Absalom chose to use someone else to do his dirty work. He would not bloody his own hands but was more than willing to take the responsibility for Amnon’s death. Both he and his father displayed a disturbing disregard for what they had done.

In all the confusion after Amnon’s death, David received erroneous news that all of his sons had been killed. His immediate reaction was to tear his clothes and fall on the ground in grief. He mourned but he took no action. He displayed grief and sorrow but did nothing to deal with the matter.

It was Jonadab, David’s nephew, who informed him of what had happened.

“No, don’t believe that all the king’s sons have been killed! It was only Amnon! Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar.” – 2 Samuel 13:32 NLT

Jonadab had a reason to rat on Absalom. He was Amnon’s friend and the one who had given him the bright idea of how to lure Tamar into his room so he could rape her (2 Samuel 13:3-5). He most likely feared for his own life, believing that Absalom might come after him next. Jonadab stressed the news that only Amnon was dead and made sure David knew that Absalom had been plotting his death for two years. This news should have spurred David to action but, as the rest of the chapter will reveal, David did nothing. The very next verse reveals that Absalom got away – not only with the murder of his brother but with his own life.

When the prophet Nathan confronted David for his sin with Bathsheba, one of the things he said to him was, “From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own” (2 Samuel 12:10 NLT). This statement could be taken as a prophecy regarding the wars that would plague the descendants of David. The kings of Judah and Israel would spend centuries fighting their enemies but also one another. But Nathan’s words also foretell of the inner strife that would plague David’s household; perfectly and painfully illustrated by Absalom’s murder of Amnon.

Nathan’s reference to the sword and David’s house has to do with the battles that would take place within his own family. This would not be the last death of a family member that David would have to endure. He would live to mourn the death of Absalom. But even after David’s own death, the curse on his house would continue. At the end of Solomon’s reign, the kingdom he inherited from his father would be divided, followed by centuries of infighting between the descendants of David and the rest of the tribes of Israel. This centuries-long period would be filled with assassinations, deception, palace intrigue, and a revolving door of kings.

So, David’s sin and God’s punishment for that sin were going to have long-term implications both in David’s household, within his royal house, and between the tribes of Judah.

What would have happened had David dealt with Amnon’s rape of Tamar? How could things have turned out differently had David stepped up and done what was right? Now, his heir to the throne was dead and another son was in exile. To make matters worse, David made no attempt to bring Absalom back to face the consequences of his actions. Once again, David’s inaction would lead to further trouble in his household and within his kingdom.

Sin, left unattended and unconfessed is dangerous in the life of a believer. But it is just as dangerous to ignore sin within the family of God. We may choose to tolerate it or sweep it under the carpet, but sin always has consequences. David was a father and the king of Israel. He had responsibilities to his family and his people; he answered to God for the health and well-being of both.

God is not one to tolerate or take sin lightly. Amnon paid for his sin. In time, Absalom would have to face the consequences of his actions. But what might have happened had David stepped up and done what he was supposed to do? Could this story have had a different ending if David had obeyed God and fulfilled his role as a father and king? The consequences for neglecting sin are far from negligible. Failure to treat sin seriously always has serious consequences. As Numbers 32:23 states, “if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.