⁸ Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, ⁹ yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— ¹⁰ I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. ¹¹ (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) – Philemon 1:8-11 ESV

Bringing up a difficult topic with someone you care about can be tricky. An attempt to point out someone else’s faults, failures, or blind spots, even if done with the best of intentions, can backfire. Confrontation is risky; that’s why most of us choose to avoid the conflict altogether. But Paul loved Philemon too much to remain silent, and he knew that this particular issue had far greater implications than just the relationship between Philemon and his runaway slave, Onesimus.

For Paul, this was about the body of Christ. Yes, he had strong affections for the two men mired in the middle of this situation, but he also had a heart for the spiritual well-being of the church. The relationships among believers within the local body of Christ were vital to the spread of the gospel because they testified to its life-transformative power. There was no place for division or disunity among believers, a message Paul communicated to the church in Corinth.

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. – 1 Corinthians 1:10 NLT

So, as Paul prepared to bring up a potentially controversial issue with Philemon, he had the greater good of the body of Christ in mind. He knew that Philemon’s treatment of Onesimus would have a ripple effect on the church. Because of his leadership role in the church, Philemon was admired by its members, and his actions carried weight.

It’s essential to understand the nature of the problem that Paul was about to address with his friend. Philemon was a believer but also a slaveholder. This was not uncommon in those days. In fact, it was quite normal because slavery was a vital part of the Roman economy. In the early days of the church, as the gospel spread throughout the Roman Empire, people from all walks of life were coming to faith in Christ, including slaves. The message of faith in Jesus was non-discriminatory. It was not reserved for the rich or religious, the upper class or the highly educated. As Paul pointed out to the believers in Corinth, the gospel was for the foolish, the powerless, and the despised.

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. – 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NLT

It would appear that Philemon was a relatively wealthy individual with a home large enough to host the local fellowship of believers. He also had the financial resources to purchase bondslaves. But while Philemon was well-resourced, he had not purchased his salvation. It had been a gift, a point that Peter makes perfectly clear.

For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. – 1 Peter 1:18-19 NLT

But Philemon was having to deal with the impact of the Gospel message on his daily life, just like every other individual who had come to faith in Christ. He was a Christ-follower, but he also remained a businessman with financial obligations. He was also a Roman citizen with certain legal rights and responsibilities. As a slaveholder who recently suffered a financial loss when one of his slaves ran away, he would have known his rights concerning redress and legal recourse.

But little did Philemon know that his escaped slave had run into his friend, the apostle Paul. One of the things I love about this story is the way it so subtly portrays the sovereign will of God. The last thing Philemon expected to hear from Paul was an update on his runaway slave. And yet, here was Paul, getting ready to announce that not only did he know Onesimus, but he considered him his child in the faith. Philemon’s runaway slave had become a fellow follower of Christ and a personal friend of Paul, ministering to him during his imprisonment in Rome.

What a bizarre turn of events. And one can only imagine the look on Philemon’s face as he read this surprising news from Paul. But don’t miss the sovereign hand of God in all of this. At some point, Philemon had made the conscious decision to purchase Philemon as a slave; it had been a fully legal transaction based on sound financial planning. But then, somewhere along the way, Onesimus had come up with a plan of his own. He ran away. He took the risk of seeking his freedom, knowing that, if caught, he would face severe punishment or even death. And at the same time, hundreds of miles away, Paul had pleaded to have his case tried before the emperor in Rome, where he was taken and placed under house arrest.

Each of these decisions was made by a man, but as the book of Proverbs points out, their plans were actually being orchestrated by God. He was operating behind the scenes in ways they could not see or know.

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. – Proverbs 16:9 NLT

You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail. – Proverbs 19:21 NLT

No details are provided to explain how Onesimus met Paul. But we can rest in the knowledge that God was directing the steps of this young runaway slave so that his path would cross that of Paul’s. God had fully intended for Philemon’s slave to encounter Nero’s prisoner, and the life of Onesimus would never be the same. But Philemon’s life was also about to undergo a radical realignment as Paul presented him with a paradigm-shifting request.

As an apostle, Paul knew that he had the God-given authority to order Philemon to do the right thing. But instead, he appealed to Philemon’s heart. Paul wanted Philemon to act out of love, not out of obligation or duty. So he let Philemon know that he was making his request “for love’s sake.” Paul knew that love alone could heal the broken relationship between Philemon and Onesimus. It would take a miracle for this slaveholder to forgive his former slave. But for Paul, forgiveness would not be enough. He was out to change the relationship between these two men in ways that neither one of them could imagine.

Paul makes an interesting side comment to Philemon, stating that Onesimus “was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me” (Philemon 1:11 ESV). The Greek word Paul used is achrēstos, which means “unprofitable.” It’s unclear what Paul is inferring from this statement, but he could be implying that as long as Onesimus was on the run, he was of no use to Philemon. But in his absence, Onesimus had been extremely beneficial to Paul. This young man had been ministering to Paul during his house arrest. However, I believe there is a more significant meaning behind Paul’s use of this term. As a slave, Onesimus had been little more than property to Philemon. His value was based solely on the work he performed or the price he could bring at auction.

But now, as a brother in Christ, Onesimus was a valuable member of the faith community and an asset to the Kingdom of Christ. At one time, Philemon had considered Onesimus to be foolish, powerless, and despised. But Christ had changed all that. Now, Onesimus was a joint heir with Jesus Christ and a valued member of the body of Christ. He had gifts to share and a part to play in the ongoing spread of the gospel.

Paul wanted Philemon to view his former slave through the lens of the gospel. God was going to use Onesimus, someone the world once “counted as nothing at all…to bring to nothing what the world considers important” (1 Corinthians 1:28 NLT). In the 1st-century world, slavery was a powerful force in the local economy that contributed to Philemon’s livelihood. It was a common practice that few questioned, and virtually all accepted as the status quo. But Jesus had come to replace man’s ways with God’s ways. The gospel was meant to be a game-changer, shining the light of God’s love into the darkness of a fallen world.

Philemon was about to have the light of God’s truth illuminate the recesses of his own heart, revealing yet one more hidden area of sin that needed to be exposed and expelled by the love of Christ.

Father, Your ways are not our ways. Your will for our lives does not mirror that of the world. You have called us out of darkness into the marvelous light of Your grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. As Your Son reminds us, “They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world” (John 17:14 NLT). We are aliens and strangers here; citizens of another kingdom who are called to serve as Your ambassadors and emissaries as we await the return of our King. And, as we wait, we are to model Christlikeness in all we do and say. Philemon was operating according to the world’s standards and, according to the legal code of his day, he had every right to demand the return of his “property.” But Paul called him to a higher standard of justice and righteousness. He wanted Philemon to see Onesimus through the eyes of Christ and treat him as a brother and a friend.

Sometimes, You call us to step outside the comfort zone of our cultural context and live according to Your holy will. And, as Jesus said, when we obey Your will, the world will hate us just as it hated Him (John 17:14). But You have called us to live set-apart lives that reflect our status as Your holy people. We are to be lights in the darkness, agents of change, and ministers of reconciliation. Paul was calling Philemon to step up and model Christlikeness in a way that would prove costly to his pocket book and reputation. If he obeyed Paul’s call to treat Onesimus as “a beloved brother” (Philemon 1:16 NLT) instead of a slave, his fellow slaveholders would likely condemn him. His neighbors might mock him. But his actions would model the love of God and declare the life-changing power of the gospel. That is the calling You have placed on all our lives. May I take it seriously and pursue it willingly, so that the world may know that I am Your disciple. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.