When Good Friends Give Bad Advice

October 7, 2023 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹“Call now; is there anyone who will answer you?
    To which of the holy ones will you turn?
²Surely vexation kills the fool,
    and jealousy slays the simple.
³I have seen the fool taking root,
    but suddenly I cursed his dwelling.
⁴His children are far from safety;
    they are crushed in the gate,
    and there is no one to deliver them.
⁵The hungry eat his harvest,
    and he takes it even out of thorns,
    and the thirsty pant after his wealth.
⁶For affliction does not come from the dust,
    nor does trouble sprout from the ground,
⁷but man is born to trouble
    as the sparks fly upward.

⁸“As for me, I would seek God,
    and to God would I commit my cause,
⁹who does great things and unsearchable,
    marvelous things without number:
¹⁰he gives rain on the earth
    and sends waters on the fields;
¹¹he sets on high those who are lowly,
    and those who mourn are lifted to safety.
¹²He frustrates the devices of the crafty,
    so that their hands achieve no success.
¹³He catches the wise in their own craftiness,
    and the schemes of the wily are brought to a quick end.
¹⁴They meet with darkness in the daytime
    and grope at noonday as in the night.
¹⁵But he saves the needy from the sword of their mouth
    and from the hand of the mighty.
¹⁶So the poor have hope,
    and injustice shuts her mouth.” – Job 5:1-16 ESV

Assumptions can be dangerous things, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. And while Eliphaz thought he was doing his beleaguered friend a service, his lengthy and unsolicited counseling session was based solely on his own opinion about Job’s plight. From his theological vantage point, it appeared as if Job had done something to anger God. There could be no other explanation. After all, Job had been blessed beyond belief, a sure sign of God’s favor. He had a large family and his adult children had done well with their lives. Job had also built a prosperous agricultural operation that made him “the richest person in that entire area” (Job 1:3 NLT). And then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Job had lost it all, including his health.

Like a forensic investigator, Eliphaz examined the evidence and came to the conclusion that his friend had committed some highly egregious sin that resulted in God’s judgment. In his attempt to explain Job’s horrific downfall, Eliphaz concluded that there must have been some heinous transgression hidden in his past. Job’s sins had caught up with him.

Eliphaz is so convinced that his assumptions are correct that he challenges Job to call on the “holy ones” to come to his defense. In a casebook display of insensitivity, Eliphaz questions his friend’s innocence and callously claims that even the angels would fail to listen to his cries or come to his aid. They would refuse to act as witnesses on his behalf or plead his case to God.

In one of the most blatant displays of over-confident self-righteousness, Eliphaz boldly asserts that Job is a fool.

“Surely resentment destroys the fool,
and jealousy kills the simple.
I have seen that fools may be successful for the moment,
but then comes sudden disaster.” – Job 5:2-3 NLT

Eliphaz has the audacity to claim that the fate of Job’s children was his own fault.

“Their children are abandoned far from help;
they are crushed in court with no one to defend them.” – Job 5:4 NLT

Eliphaz’s assertions are far from subtle and anything but encouraging. He lobs his so-called truth bombs like hand grenades, showing no regard for Job’s feelings and demonstrating no awareness that his assumptions might be wrong. He had reached his conclusions and there was no turning back. But Eliphaz’s rush to judgment was both unwise and unwarranted. There were things he didn’t know. There were details about Job’s story of which he was ignorant and uninformed. Yet, he felt confident enough to declare his friend guilty and to label him a fool.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus addressed the issue of murder as it relates to the Mosaic Law.

“You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders will be subjected to judgment.’ But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment. And whoever insults a brother will be brought before the council, and whoever says ‘Fool’ will be sent to fiery hell.” – Matthew 5:21-22 NET

He rightly declared that the Law prescribed judgment for the act of murder. But then He added an interesting addendum, declaring that anger itself was tantamount to committing murder. Hatred was the breeding ground from which murder sprang forth.

Then He took His interpretation of the Law one step further by stating that to insult someone was also an act worthy of judgment. Jesus uses the word “raca,” a term that was derived from the Aramaic word reqa. It was an insult that is best translated as “empty-headed” and was used to refer to someone’s stupidity or mental inferiority. It was a highly derogatory expression and Jesus warns that its use to devalue another human being was deserving of the severest punishment of the Law. And then He adds one more eye-opening insight into the true meaning behind the command, “You shall not kill.”

“…whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” – Matthew 5:22b ESV

According to Jesus, Eliphaz was walking on thin ice. He had taken it upon himself to act as Job’s judge and render a guilty verdict – all without input or approval from God.

Eliphaz’s arrogance is truly mind-boggling. He’s so confident in his assertions that he talks to his friend like he’s a child, reminding him that evil doesn’t just happen; it has a source.

“…evil does not spring from the soil,
and trouble does not sprout from the earth.
People are born for trouble
as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.” – Job 5:6-7 NLT

Eliphaz not only has an explanation for Job’s sorry state but he also has a solution.

“If I were you, I would go to God
and present my case to him.
He does great things too marvelous to understand.
He performs countless miracles.” – Job 5:8-9 NLT

But this advice reeks of sarcasm. It is almost as if Eliphaz knows that Job is going to deny his guilt and declare his innocence. So, he challenges Job to present his case to Yahweh. What appears to be a sincere recommendation that Job turn to God for help is really a thinly veiled and sarcasm-laced statement of Job’s guilt. Eliphaz isn’t hiding his belief that Job has brought all of this on himself. He even warns Job that God ”frustrates the plans of schemers so the work of their hands will not succeed. He traps the wise in their own cleverness so their cunning schemes are thwarted” (Job 5:12-13 NLT).

Eliphaz told Job that he was more than welcome to take bring his case before God, but he would find Yahweh to be anything but accommodating or forgiving. In Eliphaz’s mind, Job was nothing more than a clever schemer who had fooled everyone but God with his convincing holier-than-thou lifestyle.

Eliphaz seems to have reached the conclusion that Job had somehow used his wealth and power to take advantage of the poor, so he warned his friend that God “rescues the poor from the cutting words of the strong, and rescues them from the clutches of the powerful” (Job 5:15 NLT). This was a bold and highly condemning assertion on Eliphaz’s part; one that was based solely on conjecture and had no basis in reality.

When reading the words of Eliphaz, it’s important to consider how they stand in stark contrast to God’s assessment of Job.

“Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” – Job 2:3 ESV

Eliphaz had already assumed Job’s guilt, solely based on circumstantial evidence. But there was so much he didn’t know and couldn’t see. He was blind to the spiritual battle taking place behind the scenes. He was incapable of seeing into the inner recesses of Job’s heart but had been more than willing to declare his friend a fool and a scheming con man who had enriched himself on the backs of the poor and needy. But he was wrong. Yet, he was far from finished. Eliphaz was neither lacking in confidence nor words, and he had a lot more to say to his involuntary counselee.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Good Counsel, Well Received

March 30, 2023 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹³The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening. ¹⁴When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?” ¹⁵And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; ¹⁶when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.” ¹⁷Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. ¹⁸You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. ¹⁹Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God, ²⁰and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do. ²¹Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. ²²And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. ²³If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”

²⁴So Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said. ²⁵Moses chose able men out of all Israel and made them heads over the people, chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. ²⁶And they judged the people at all times. Any hard case they brought to Moses, but any small matter they decided themselves. ²⁷Then Moses let his father-in-law depart, and he went away to his own country. – Exodus 18:13-27 ESV

Like any father-in-law, Jethro wanted to see how his daughter’s husband performed “on the job.” So, the next morning, he followed Moses as he headed into the “office” – where Moses began a dawn-to-dusk session of judging the affairs and disputes of the people.

Moses took his seat to hear the people’s disputes against each other. They waited before him from morning till evening. – Exodus 18:13 NLT

This scene must have come as a shock to Jethro, because the last time he had seen Moses, his son-in-law had been herding sheep in Midian. Now, he was managing the affairs of what was essentially a small nation. Every day, countless people made their way to Moses, where they lined up and waited for their turn to present their cases to the one and only judge qualified to settle their disputes.

Moses was a prophet who had been given the authority to speak on behalf of God Himself. It’s important to remember that at this time in their journey, the people of Israel had no written code of conduct or official compendium of laws to govern life and settle disputes. So, Moses was the only individual within the whole Israelite community who could adjudicate any disagreements and provide godly insights or a possible solution to the interpersonal conflicts taking place. Moses put his role this way:

“…the people come to me to get a ruling from God. When a dispute arises, they come to me, and I am the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties. I inform the people of God’s decrees and give them his instructions.” – Exodus 18:15-16 NLT

Moses wasn’t just dispensing sage wisdom and helpful advice; he was delivering personalized judgments from the throne of God in heaven. Part of what made the length of Moses’ days so long was the sheer number of cases that needed to be heard, assessed, and litigated. And it must have taken time to hear the oral arguments of each party in the dispute. It could also be that Moses was required to take each matter to the Lord and then wait for a specific answer to be returned. This would have been a time-consuming and highly exhausting process.

So, when Jethro observed how Moses spent his days, he was more than a bit surprised. His initial thought was that this entire scenario was absurd. How could one man possibly hope to handle such a demanding volume of cases? He saw that Moses was headed for a mental or physical meltdown if something didn’t change, and quickly. So, like a good father-in-law, he pulled Moses aside and tried to set him straight.

“What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” – Exodus 18:14 NLT

None of this made any sense to Jethro. As a priest, he fully understood the concept of one man serving the needs of others, but this was lunacy. The volume of cases Moses was trying to handle on his own was beyond the scope of one man – even with God’s divine assistance. That led Jethro to deliver a no-holds-barred assessment of Moses’ leadership strategy, and it was anything but flattering.

“This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.” – Exodus 18:17-18 NLT

In essence, Jethro told Moses, “You’re a train wreck waiting to happen. And it’s not a matter of if, but when.” From Jethro’s perspective, his overly-eager son-in-law was headed for an emotional, mental, or physical breakdown. This led him to give Moses some unsolicited free advice; counsel was likely motivated more by his concern for his daughter and grandsons than for Moses himself. Jethro had just reunited Zipporah with her husband and he was not anxious to see her become a young widow because of Moses’ refusal to delegate responsibilities to qualified men.

So, he advised Moses to share the load – for his own good.

“You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives.” – Exodus 18:19-20 NLT

Jethro wasn’t trying to change Moses’ job description, but he simply suggested a reprioritization of his roles. It’s unlikely that every case Moses heard required God’s input. There were probably some that Moses could settle on his own through the use of common sense. So, Jethro suggested that Moses recruit qualified men who could hear and settle the simpler cases while forwarding the more complicated disputes to Moses.

“…select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. They should always be available to solve the people’s common disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you.” – Exodus 18:21-22 NLT

Jethro was recommending the time-tested strategy of delegation. As the sole mediator between God and the Israelite community, Moses was too vital to spend his time trying to settle every petty dispute that came up among the people. He needed to focus on the bigger issues and allow others to lighten his load by filtering out the more run-of-the-mill problems that didn’t require divine intervention.

Jethro outlined a detailed conflict resolution strategy involving a tiered network of judges and counselors who serve on behalf of Moses. The whole idea was for Moses to “the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves” (Exodus 18:22 NLT). This wasn’t rocket science. Jethro was recommending a simple organizational restructuring plan that would spread the load and spare Moses from burnout. And Jethro assured Moses that Yahweh would give this new approach His Good Housekeeping seal of approval

“If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.” – Exodus 18:23 ESV

Moses wisely heeded his father-in-law’s advice and implemented this new conflict resolution strategy, and according to the text, it all worked like a charm. The newly appointed leaders did their jobs and, as a result, Moses got a new lease on life. The valuable bandwidth he had lost was restored and, in the end, ikt proved to be a win-win situation for all involved.

Cultivating True Community

July 9, 2022July 9, 2022 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹Do not boast about tomorrow,
    for you do not know what a day may bring.
²Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
    a stranger, and not your own lips.
³A stone is heavy, and sand is weighty,
    but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both.
⁴Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming,
    but who can stand before jealousy?
⁵Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.
⁶Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
⁷One who is full loathes honey,
    but to one who is hungry everything bitter is sweet.
⁸Like a bird that strays from its nest
    is a man who strays from his home.
⁹Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
    and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
¹⁰Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend,
    and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near
    than a brother who is far away.
¹¹Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,
    that I may answer him who reproaches me.
¹²The prudent sees danger and hides himself,
    but the simple go on and suffer for it.
¹³Take a man’s garment when he has put up security for a stranger,
    and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for an adulteress. – Proverbs 27:1-13 ESV

Let’s face it. Relationships are messy. Living with others can be difficult at times. But there is a huge advantage to living in true biblical community. And the Proverbs have a lot to say about the impact of wisdom and foolishness on our relationships. While we can attempt to isolate ourselves from interaction with others, no one lives in a vacuum. And, whether we like it or not, we will eventually end up dealing with people from all walks of life and from every conceivable background. Even a few fools will cross our path as we navigate our way through life.

But this chapter continues to differentiate between the wise and the foolish, describing how each displays certain characteristics – some to be emulated and others to be avoided.

When it comes to relationships, a fool is self-centered, myopic, and tends to only think about himself. He lives his life with a certain level of insensitivity and never thinks about how his words and actions will impact those around him. In fact, he doesn’t even care. Because of their self-focused manner of life, fools tend to think too highly of themselves and have a distorted view of reality. That’s why the wise person should heed the following advice.

Don’t brag about tomorrow,
since you don’t know what the day will bring

Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth—
a stranger, not your own lips. – Proverbs 27:1-2 NLT

Instead, a man or woman of wisdom should readily accept their responsibility to care about and for those around them, and they should live accordingly.

Fools tend to leave a wake of disrupted relationships in their path. They are relationship wreckers who allow resentment, anger, and jealousy to wreak havoc on all those around them.

A stone is heavy and sand is weighty,
but the resentment caused by a fool is even heavier.

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood,
but jealousy is even more dangerous. – Proverbs 27:3-4 NLT

Those who care about community understand that words are powerful. They know that there will be times when words of encouragement are needed, but also times when a word of warning or rebuke is necessary. In a healthy relationship, to withhold a much-deserved rebuke is as wrong as refusing to express our love verbally.

An open rebuke
is better than hidden love! – Proverbs 27:5 NLT).

While correction and criticism are never easy to receive, a true friend will care enough about us to tell us the hard truth.

Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy. – Proverbs 27:6 NLT)

Fools make a habit of telling others what they want to hear. They use flattery to win others over but never truly mean what they say. And while a fool will butter someone up by telling them how wonderful they are, they will overlook the faults that are preventing that person from being who God wants them to be. False flattery is deadly. It puffs us up and gives us a false sense of confidence and feeds our self-righteousness. But a true friend will tell us the truth, even if it hurts.

As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

Friendships should involve some friction but it should be productive and not destructive. As we rub up against one another in our relationships there should be a certain give-and-take that allows us to push, prod, and pull each other towards increased righteousness.

But if we are honest, we have to admit that many of our relationships are shallow and dishonest. We refuse to speak the truth into one another’s lives. We openly tolerate godlessness and flatter one another with words of kindness when what we really need is a swift kick in the pants and a dose of reality.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense. – Proverbs 27:9 NLT

Yet, many of us are afraid to play hardball in our relationships because we fear what others may say about how we live our lives. We’re afraid that if we critique someone else’s life, it will leave the door open for them to return the favor. And, most likely, they will. But we should welcome it.

The truth is, most of us have no idea what we’re really like. We can’t see our faults and weaknesses. Our foolish friends will leave us thinking we don’t have any. But a true friend will point them out in a loving, caring way, and help us take steps to correct them. They are able to see the true condition of our hearts, something we can’t do on our own. ”

As a face is reflected in water,
so the heart reflects the real person. – Proverbs 27:19 NLT

We need one another. We need real relationships that produce real-life change. True biblical community is messy. It involves transparency, accountability, honesty, humility, patience and love. It takes work, but it is worth it. Cultivating true community has long-term, real-life benefits.

Never abandon a friend—
either yours or your father’s.
When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance.
It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away. – Proverbs 27:10 NLT

You never know when you will need the help or counsel of a true friend. Life is full of all kinds of surprises and, in times of difficulty, you want to be surrounded by those who can step in and help. But you’ll want to make sure you’ve surrounded yourself with wise friends and not fools.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. – Proverbs 27:12 NLT

Prepare for the inevitable setbacks in life and maintain ongoing relationships with people who can provide wise counsel when you need it. In times of difficulty, a few friends with wisdom are of far greater value than a host of fools who lack sense. Life is too short and relationships are too important to waste your time cultivating friendships with fools.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Apples of Gold in a Setting of Silver

July 6, 2022 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹¹A word fitly spoken
    is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
¹²Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold
    is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
¹³Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest
    is a faithful messenger to those who send him;
    he refreshes the soul of his masters.
¹⁴Like clouds and wind without rain
    is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.

¹⁵With patience a ruler may be persuaded,
    and a soft tongue will break a bone.
¹⁶If you have found honey, eat only enough for you,
    lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.
¹⁷Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house,
    lest he have his fill of you and hate you.
¹⁸A man who bears false witness against his neighbor
    is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.
¹⁹Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble
    is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.
²⁰Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart
    is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day,
    and like vinegar on soda.
²¹If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,
    and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
²²for you will heap burning coals on his head,
    and the Lord will reward you.
²³The north wind brings forth rain,
    and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.
²⁴It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
    than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
²⁵Like cold water to a thirsty soul,
    so is good news from a far country.
²⁶Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain
    is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
²⁷It is not good to eat much honey,
    nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory.
²⁸A man without self-control
    is like a city broken into and left without walls. – Proverbs 25:11-28 ESV

This collection of Solomonic proverbs, compiled by King Hezekiah’s team of sages, seems to have a regal focus to it. As official employees of the king, these men put together a list of wise sayings that would have particular application to their employer. In other words, these were proverbs fit for a king. They were just the kind of timeless insights that Hezekiah would find beneficial as he attempted to lead the nation of Judah as God’s vice-regent.

Wisdom is not reserved for the wealthy and powerful but is available to anyone who fears the Lord. But it is an essential prerequisite for the man whom God has tasked with shepherding His flock. It was said of Solomon’s own father, that God “chose David his servant and took him from the sheepfolds…to shepherd Jacob his people” (Psalm 78:70-71 ESV). And that same Psalm goes on to say that “with upright heart he shepherded them and guided them with his skillful hand” (Psalm 78:72 ESV).

David was inherently wise because he had a heart for God. In fact, the Scriptures make it clear that David was chosen by God because of the disposition of his heart, not his resume of accomplishments.

“But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.’” – Acts 13:22 NLT

When Samuel had been tasked with the unenviable job of finding a replacement for the disobedient King Saul, God had given his prophet the following selection criteria:

“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

A heart-healthy king is also a wise king. He understands the ways of God. He longs to discover the hidden truths that God has concealed from the foolish and ungodly.

It is God’s privilege to conceal things
and the king’s privilege to discover them. – Proverbs 25:2 NLT

So, this five-chapter section of the book of Proverbs is filled with additional wise sayings that had been vetted by King Hezekiah’s crack team of researchers. They had discovered proverbs that Solomon had originally collected but that had been lost or simply neglected over time.

An apt description of these sayings is found in verse 11 of this chapter.

Timely advice is lovely,
like golden apples in a silver basket. – Proverbs 25:11 NLT

Though more than 250 years had passed since these proverbs had first been compiled by Solomon, they remained as relevant as ever. These were timeless truths that held never-fading value because they were of God.

Even divine insight that comes in the form of correction proves beneficial to anyone who will accept it as a gift from God.

To one who listens, valid criticism
is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. – Proverbs 25:12 NLT

These proverbs deal with practical, everyday issues that impact both kings and commoners. They contain insights into everything from finding someone you can trust to deliver important news (verse 13) to learning how to control your appetite (verse 16). It is almost as if the men who collected these sayings had King Hezekiah in mind when they compiled the final list. You can almost hear them saying, “This would be a good one for Hezekiah to hear.” Verse 19 is a perfect case in point.

Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble
is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot. – Proverbs 25:19 NLT

This is just the kind of advice a king would need to hear. And because a king would never have a shortage of adversaries, verses 21-22 would be of particular help.

If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat.
If they are thirsty, give them water to drink.
You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads,
and the Lord will reward you. – Proverbs 25:21-22 NLT

And a king who acquiesced to the demands of the wicked or allowed the ungodly to influence his decisions would prove to be a risk to the nation’s well-being.

If the godly give in to the wicked,
it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring. – Proverbs 25:26 NLT

A man in Hezekiah’s position always faced the risk of having his reign contaminated by men of disreputable character. There would always be flatterers around who used their access to the king to promote their own agendas and pad their own pockets. So, a wise king would need to constrain his appetite for praise and practice self-control.

It’s not good to eat too much honey,
and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself.

A person without self-control
is like a city with broken-down walls. – Proverbs 25:27-28 NLT

Because “If the godly give in to the wicked, it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring” (Proverbs 25:26 NLT). Wise sayings are only valuable if they are heeded and applied. Wisdom is of little use if it is not put into practical use. And a king who surrounds himself with the wrong kind of advisers will end up making the wrong kind of decisions. And there is no better illustration of this truth than the life of Rehoboam, the son of Solomon and the heir to his throne.

The book of 1 Kings records what happened after Solomon had died and his son, Rehoboam had taken over the leadership of his kingdom. He had inherited a divided kingdom and faced rebellion from the tribes in the north, so he gathered the people together in Shechem and heard their complaint.

“Your father was a hard master,” they said. “Lighten the harsh labor demands and heavy taxes that your father imposed on us. Then we will be your loyal subjects.” – 1 Kings 12:4 NLT

They were demanding that Rehoboam correct the excesses of his father and treat the people with greater honor and respect. So, in response, Rehoboam “discussed the matter with the older men who had counseled his father, Solomon” (1 Kings 12:6 NLT). He sought the advice of these older and wiser men, and they gave him their counsel.

“If you are willing to be a servant to these people today and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your loyal subjects.” – Proverbs 12:7 NLT

In a sense, these men offered up “apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11 ESV), but Rehoboam “Rehoboam rejected the advice of the older men and instead asked the opinion of the young men who had grown up with him and were now his advisers” (1 Kings 12:8 NLT). He refused to listen to take the wise counsel of his elders but instead to the more ear-tickling advice of his peers.

The young men replied, “This is what you should tell those complainers who want a lighter burden: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist! Yes, my father laid heavy burdens on you, but I’m going to make them even heavier! My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions!’” – 1 Kings 11:10-11 NLT

And the unwise Rehoboam accepted the advice of his young friends, creating an immediate and irreparable disaster for his new kingship.

When all Israel realized that the king had refused to listen to them, they responded,

“Down with the dynasty of David!
We have no interest in the son of Jesse.
Back to your homes, O Israel!
Look out for your own house, O David!” – 1 Kings 12:16 NLT

Things did not turn out well for Rehoboam. He had been given the opportunity to do the right thing; to rule with wisdom and integrity, but he had chosen to take a different path. And rather than ruling over the 12 tribes of Israel as his father had done. he would end up with a kingdom consisting of two tribes: Judah and Benjamin. And the rest is history.

I Pity the Fool

June 12, 2022 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹A wise son hears his father’s instruction,
    but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
²From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good,
    but the desire of the treacherous is for violence.
³Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life;
    he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
⁴The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,
    while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
⁵The righteous hates falsehood,
    but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
⁶Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless,
    but sin overthrows the wicked.
⁷One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
    another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
⁸The ransom of a man’s life is his wealth,
    but a poor man hears no threat.
⁹The light of the righteous rejoices,
    but the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
¹⁰By insolence comes nothing but strife,
    but with those who take advice is wisdom.
¹¹Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
    but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
¹²Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
¹³Whoever despises the word brings destruction on himself,
    but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded.
¹⁴The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life,
    that one may turn away from the snares of death.
¹⁵Good sense wins favor,
    but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.
¹⁶Every prudent man acts with knowledge,
    but a fool flaunts his folly.
¹⁷A wicked messenger falls into trouble,
    but a faithful envoy brings healing.
¹⁸Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction,
    but whoever heeds reproof is honored.
¹⁹A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
    but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools.
²⁰Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
    but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
²¹Disaster pursues sinners,
    but the righteous are rewarded with good.
²²A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children,
    but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
²³The fallow ground of the poor would yield much food,
    but it is swept away through injustice.
²⁴Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
    but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
²⁵The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite,
    but the belly of the wicked suffers want. – Proverbs 13:1-25 ESV

It is sometimes difficult to discover a consistent theme in these Proverbs because they appear to jump from topic to topic. But upon closer examination, it becomes clear that these seemingly independent couplets are arranged in a somewhat topical fashion. Of course, the overarching theme has to do with wisdom and its antithesis, folly.

Solomon continues to contrast the way of the righteous with the way of the wicked, using simple-sounding statements to convey profound truths. His goal is to illustrate the fruit that accompanies each path. One way leads to life.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life… – Proverbs 13:3 ESV

The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life… – Proverbs 13:14 ESV

The way of the righteous results in rich rewards.

…the soul of the diligent is richly supplied… – Proverbs 13:4 ESV

One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. – Proverbs 13:7 ESV

…he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded. – Proverbs 13:13 ESV

…the righteous are rewarded with good… – Proverbs 13:21 ESV

A wise person is characterized by a teachable spirit.

A wise son hears his father’s instruction… – Proverbs 13:1 ESV

…with those who take advice is wisdom. – Proverbs 13:10 ESV

…whoever heeds reproof is honored. – Proverbs 13:18 ESV

The one who chooses the path of righteousness will find their desires fulfilled because they have sought the will and the way of God. By listening to and obeying His commandments, they will ultimately find themselves enjoying the fruit of their labors in the form of the blessings of God.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. – Proverbs 13:12 ESV

A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools. – Proverbs 13:19 ESV

As we saw in Proverbs 12, godliness is the byproduct of a vibrant and intimate relationship with God. The more time we spend with Him, the more often we obey Him; and the more dependent we become on Him, the more like Him we will become. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, and due to the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, we have the capacity to live godly lives – lives that are pleasing to and honoring of God. And the godly life not only has evidence that others can see, but it also comes with rewards. Godliness acts like a guard on our lives, providing us with wisdom for making good decisions, giving us the right words to say at the right time, and the insight on when to say nothing at all. Godliness gives us a hatred for lies and deception, a love for justice and truth, and a life filled with light and joy. Godliness gives us the insight to know that we are nothing without God, making us less prone to pride and more willing to seek advice and accept correction. The godly have a strong work ethic, not living with some sense of entitlement, expecting everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. And their hard work not only satisfies their hunger, but it also fulfills their dreams. The godly have the innate ability to think before they act, protecting them from foolish acts, harmful words, and dangerous decisions. And while their life will not be free from trouble and strife, those things will be less likely the result of their own stupidity, rashness, and foolhardiness. Godliness brings wisdom and wisdom is both protective and attractive. The wise live lives according to God’s ways and, as a result, they attract the attention of others who long to have what they have.

Godliness isn’t some kind of unrealistic objective designed to make our lives miserable because it is unachievable. Godliness is attainable, enjoyable, laudable, and highly possible, not because of anything we do, but because of what Christ has already done. His death on the cross makes the life of godliness possible for all who place their faith in Him and Him alone. And not only do we get eternal life in return, complete with an irrevocable guarantee of a place in heaven someday; we get the promise of the rewards that come with a life of godliness lived out here on this earth.

And while we live our lives on this planet, we must constantly deal with counsel, criticism, and correction. The Proverbs talk about all three and remind us that those who are wise willingly and gladly accept each equally. But the reality for most of us is that, at best, we tolerate one of them and despise the other two. We will listen to counsel if we think it will benefit us or if it doesn’t vary too much from our preconceived plans. But criticism and correction are two separate matters. Nobody likes to be criticized. And few of us truly enjoy correction. But again, the wise are those who have learned the value of all three. Even a child can come to a place where they understand that their parents’ discipline is beneficial.

A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline, a mocker refuses to listen to correction. – Proverbs 13:1 NLT

In the book of Colossians, Paul tells us that, as believers, we have a responsibility to admonish or warn one another as part of our corporate experience as believers.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. – Colossians 3:16 NIV

We all have blind spots, those areas of our lives that we’re unable to see, and it takes a loving brother or sister in Christ to point them out so we can confess them and be cleansed from them. Those who are wise embrace counsel and correction equally. They see the benefit of both.

People who despise advice are asking for trouble. – Proverbs 13:13 NLT

If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace. – Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Pretty serious stuff. Yet think about how often we reject the counsel, correction, and criticism of others. We may accept it with a smile, but inside we can be angry and resentful. We may even avoid that person in the future, refusing to allow them to speak into our lives. When we do, we are the losers. We miss out on the benefits God has intended. Even when someone criticizes us unfairly or wrongly, we should learn to accept it patiently and lovingly, understanding that God knows our hearts.

At the end of the day, our unwillingness to accept counsel, correction, or criticism is all about pride. Admitting our flaws, acknowledging our ignorance, or accepting our need for correction is hard on our egos. But the wise would rather increase in wisdom than worry about their pride. They would prefer to become more godly than simply pamper their egos with false flattery and pride-producing praise. Wise people know that it takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear while everyone else avoids the subject like the plague. Wise people know that ignorance is NOT bliss, and what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Wise people know that criticism may hurt, but not as much as hypocrisy or lies disguised as praise. Wise people don’t just tolerate counsel, they seek it. They depend upon it. Counsel, criticism, and correction. Three invaluable resources in the toolbox of the wise. You can’t live well without them.

Listen, Learn, and Live

June 3, 2022 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

²⁰My son, keep your father’s commandment,
    and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
²¹Bind them on your heart always;
    tie them around your neck.
²²When you walk, they will lead you;
    when you lie down, they will watch over you;
    and when you awake, they will talk with you.
²³For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
    and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
²⁴to preserve you from the evil woman,
    from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.
²⁵Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
    and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
²⁶for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
    but a married woman hunts down a precious life.
²⁷Can a man carry fire next to his chest
    and his clothes not be burned?
²⁸Or can one walk on hot coals
    and his feet not be scorched?
²⁹So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
    none who touches her will go unpunished.
³⁰People do not despise a thief if he steals
    to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
³¹but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
    he will give all the goods of his house.
³²He who commits adultery lacks sense;
    he who does it destroys himself.
³³He will get wounds and dishonor,
    and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
³⁴For jealousy makes a man furious,
    and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
³⁵He will accept no compensation;
    he will refuse though you multiply gifts. – Proverbs 6:20-35 ESV

We live in a society that is constantly trying to buck the system. And by the system, I mean the one that God has put in place. God has standards. He has rules for living that apply to all men, not just those who consider themselves God-followers. But ever since the fall, man has been trying to get around God’s standards and establish his own set of guidelines for living.

If God says that something is wrong or sinful, we go out of our way to justify it and convince ourselves that it is actually perfectly acceptable. To get there we either have to reject what God has said altogether or twist it in such a way that it no longer carries the meaning it once did. That is exactly what we have done with the subject of adultery. Once taboo, even among non-believers, it is not only acceptable but has become a regular part of daily life in America. In an effort to satisfy our own selfish desires and justify our sinful actions, we have played fast and loose with God’s laws and created an environment where we get to decide what is sin and what is not. It has all become highly subjective. The mantra, “If it feels good, do it” reigns supreme.

Yet Solomon warns his son, and us, “but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life” (Proverbs 6:26b NLT). Far too many in our society, including Christian men and women, don’t believe that statement. They have convinced themselves that God wants them happy and, therefore, if they find another person who fulfills them better than their current mate, then there is nothing wrong with “falling in love” with that other person. They justify their actions by claiming that they were never really in love in the first place. They made a mistake. Surely, God wouldn’t want them to spend the rest of their lives miserable and unhappy just because they married the wrong person. Yet Solomon clearly states, “So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished” (Proverbs 6:29 NLT).

One of the things that have happened is that, as a society, we have removed the disgrace and shame that used to accompany adultery. It has become so commonplace and acceptable that there is no longer any stigma associated with it. Oh, we may be shocked for a time, but we have learned to go with the flow and accept adultery as the inevitable outcome of living in a fallen world. And while it is true that adultery, like all sins, is inevitable because of the fall, it is never to be acceptable. It should still shock and concern us. We should still view it as a sin against a holy God and an unjust crime against our fellow man.

Adultery is nothing less than stealing. Those who commit adultery are taking something that does not belong to them. And in doing so, they destroy that which God considers holy and sacred: A marriage between a husband and wife. Not only that, it destroys the adulterer’s marriage and violates a covenant made before God – even if the couple who made the covenant were outside a relationship with Christ at the time.

God views ALL marriages as sacred and holy. He does not apply His rules only to the marriages of believers. God’s standards apply to all men and women. None are excluded or exempt. Yet, it is within the body of Christ that willful obedience to His commands should be displayed most clearly. It is within our marriages that faithfulness and fidelity should be most readily visible. He has given us the power to live lives in keeping with His standards. He has placed His Spirit within us and equipped us with the capacity to live godly lives in the midst of an ungodly culture.

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. – (2 Peter 1:3-4 NLT

Because we share in the divine nature, we can escape the influence of this world and its constant encouragement to live according to our own standards, without shame and unrepentant.

The life of godliness was never meant to be impossible or impractical. It is impossible only if we attempt to live it in our own strength or on our own terms. It is impractical if we fail to apply its lessons to our daily lives. We always run the risk of becoming so heavenly-minded that we’re no earthly good. In other words, we fill our heads with all kinds of pious-sounding religious platitudes but never apply them to our daily lives. Yet, Solomon reminds us that righteousness is to be highly practical. It is to be visible to those around us, impacting every area of our lives and changing the way we live, altering the way we think, and influencing our decisions. Righteous living is wise living. It is living according to God’s standards, and God is a highly practical God.

When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life. – Proverbs 6:22-23 NLT

Solomon attempted to take what he knew about God and apply it to everyday life. He pleaded with his son to listen to and apply the commandments he was sharing. They were not simply moral platitudes in the form of fatherly advice. They were divinely-ordained requirements that were intended to promote and preserve human flourishing.

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
to preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. – Proverbs 6:23-24 ESV

Knowing the commands of God but failing to obey them is like having a lamp filled with oil, yet refusing to light the wick. The one who knowingly disobeys the commands of God is nothing more than an unlit lamp in the darkness. They receive no benefit from their knowledge because they refuse to apply it.

So, Solomon encourages his son to listen to wise counsel, from parents, peers, friends, and from the Word of God. Piety that is not practical is useless. It becomes hypocrisy. Our beliefs must impact our behavior. Our righteousness must result in right living. The way we live should reflect the God in whom we believe.

But for the commands of God to have their full effect requires listening. And there is an art to listening. All of us can hear, but not all of us know how to listen well. And the few of us who do know how to listen sometimes struggle with doing something with what we hear – especially when it has to do with obeying the wise counsel we receive from others. This is especially true of young people. This is why so many of the Proverbs are addressed to sons (and daughters). Solomon wants his children to know the value of listening to godly counsel. In Proverbs 6 the assumption is that the commands and instructions given by the father and mother are godly and worthy of compliance. The son is told to obey the commands of his father and not neglect the instructions of his mother. He is to value them and personally apply them to his life, hiding them in his heart and keeping them close like a valuable necklace or an expensive ring tied to a cord and hung around his neck.

Solomon is not suggesting that we wear these commands like ornaments designed to make us appear more righteous. He is simply accentuating their incredible value and worth. They are priceless treasures that provide life, not decorative trinkets that make us look more holy to our peers. He stresses their life-preserving nature.

Wherever you walk, they’ll guide you; whenever you rest, they’ll guard you; when you wake up, they’ll tell you what’s next. – Proverbs 6:22 MSG

Godly counsel can provide guidance on life’s journey. It is based on the wisdom of God and has been proven in the crucible of life. Wise counsel tends to speak from experience. It is able to say, “Do as I do, not just as I say.”

The godly counsel of parents and other well-traveled Christ-followers can save us a lot of pain and trouble, and prevent us from taking wrong turns and ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time. But not only does godly counsel guide, but it also guards and protects us – even in our sleep. Even when we’re inactive, godly counsel makes sure we’re safe and sound. We can rest easy and sleep well knowing that we have made the right choices and followed the right path in life. We don’t have to live anxiously or nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop and the walls of our life to cave in. We can know that we’re on the right path and headed in the right direction.

Finally, godly counsel speaks to us. It’s amazing how the wise advice of others can crop up and pop into our minds at just the right moment. When we wake up in the morning, we have a repository of wise advice to which we can turn. It speaks to us. It counsels us. It prepares us for the day ahead. Like a lamp, it lights our path and shows us the right way to go. It keeps us on the straight and narrow and out of the high weeds of life.

Wise counsel is like good, nutritious food. It not only feeds us for the moment, but it equips us for the journey. It gives us the strength, energy, and stamina to face all that lies ahead. It encourages, educates, and equips us for life in this world. Without it, we are lost, vulnerable to attack, and clueless as to what we should do and which way we should go.

The Cost of Giving Advice

March 23, 2020 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

¹⁷So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. ¹⁸If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. ¹⁹I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. ²⁰Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. – Philemon 1:17-20 ESV

It’s quite easy to give advice to others. In fact, it comes naturally to most of us. Sharing our opinions and providing free counsel to our friends and family members just seem like good things to do. We can even back up our good intentions from the “Good Book.”

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14 ESV

But even the best counsel, motivated by the best intentions, doesn’t always produce the best outcomes. Telling someone what they ought to do, without providing them any hint as to how to do it, can be demoralizing and even damaging.

Paul was asking Philemon to accept his runaway slave back with open arms. Not only that, but he was also advising Philemon to treat Onesimus as a brother and not as a slave. And everything Paul wrote to Philemon was biblically sound and spiritually appropriate. It was wise counsel coming from a godly and well-meaning friend. And yet, from Philemon’s perspective, it was all “easier said than done.” Paul, under house arrest in Rome and with plenty of time on his hands, could write Philemon a hundred letters full of godly advice on a wide range of topics, but at the end of the day, it was Philemon who would have to turn Paul’s rhetoric into reality. And that was not going to be easy.

And Paul was quite clear in expressing how he expected Philemon to treat Onesimus.

So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. – Philemon 1:17 NLT

Philemon was to show Onesimus the same courtesy and respect he would extend to Paul if he were to walk in the door. That was a tall order. Paul was asking Philemon to respond in a manner that was antithetical to logic and social protocol. For him to treat any slave with that kind of respect and honor would have been unheard of in civil society. And yet, Paul was asking him to extend this kind of courtesy to a runaway. Remember, Paul told Philemon that Onesimus was “no longer like a slave to you” (Philemon 1:16 NLT). That was easy for Paul to say. But in Philemon’s social circle, everyone would have known that Onesimus was his slave. And when he returned, they would have expected Philemon to deal with him according to Roman law. To not do so would have set a dangerous precedent. If Philemon failed to punish Onesimus for running away, it might encourage other slaves to follow his example. Other slave owners in the community, and possibly in the church, would have viewed his kind and gracious treatment of Onesimus as unacceptable behavior.

And Paul was fully aware of the gravity of his request of Philemon. He knew his request would not be easy to follow, and it could also prove costly. Paul was cognizant of the fact that Onesimus represented a financial investment for Philemon. In the economic system of Rome, Onesimus had a monetary value that was greater than his human worth. He was a commodity whose appraisal was based on his production capacity or resale value. So, when Paul asked Philemon to set Onesimus free, he was asking his friend to take a substantial hit to his bottom line.

But look closely at what Paul wrote next: “If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account” (Philemon 1:18 ESV). You might say that Paul was putting his money where his mouth was. He was backing up his wise words with the promise of action. Paul was personally investing himself in the process of reconciliation between these two men.

When Paul told Philemon, “charge that to my account,” he was essentially saying “impute the debt of Onesimus to me.” It was like saying, “put it on my tab.” Paul was committing himself to make up any financial liability Philemon might face as a result of following his advice. Paul was willingly putting skin in the game. And Paul’s model for this kind of selfless and sacrificial commitment was Jesus.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. – 2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

Jesus had come to earth so that He might reconcile sinful men to God. And in order to do so, He took on their debt. He bore their sins on the cross and died the death they deserved to die. And because those who place their faith in Christ enjoy a renewed relationship with God the Father, they have the capacity to view things from a totally new perspective. Consider Paul’s words to the believers in Corinth.

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:16-19 NLT

Philemon and Onesimus had both been reconciled to God through the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross. But Paul deeply desired to see Philemon and Onesimus reconciled to one another. They had both been set free from slavery to sin and death, and now they could live in newness of life together. And Paul was willing to invest himself in the process of reconciling their differences – even to the point of underwriting the financial debts of Onesimus.

And Paul made his commitment clear, telling Philemon, “I will repay it” (Philemon 1:19 ESV). And Philemon knew he could trust Paul to keep his word. And Paul added a little extra incentive for Philemon that basically stated, “You owe me.” This should not be viewed as a threat but as a gentle reminder that Philemon owed his new life in Christ to the ministry of Paul. He had sacrificed his life in order to bring the good news of Jesus Christ to Philemon’s community and, as a result, Philemon had been reconciled to God. By placing his faith in Jesus, Philemon’s debt had been paid in full.

Nothing would make Paul happier than to hear that Philemon and Onesimus had been reconciled. And he let Philemon know his decision to receive Onesimus as a brother in Christ would be all the payment he needed.

Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. – Philemon 1:20 ESV

Telling others what they ought to do is easy. But how willing are you to commit yourself to help them follow your advice? What cost are you willing to pay to see that your wise words are followed? Paul was willing to put his money where his mouth was. Are you? Are you committed to walking alongside the ones with whom you freely share your counsel and dedicate your time and resources to see that they have what they need to succeed?

This all reminds me of the story of the chicken and the pig. In debating the degree of their commitment to a typical breakfast of bacon and eggs, the chicken bragged about how some brave chicken willingly made provision for the eggs. But the pig responded by pointing out that while the breakfast required the chicken’s participation, it demanded a pig’s total commitment. Paul wasn’t content to simply wise counsel. He was totally committed to seeing that it was followed, regardless of the personal cost.

Paul could have easily said to Philemon what he wrote to the believers in Philippi.

But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. – Philippians 2:17 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 12c

October 12, 2012 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

Good Advice.

“The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” – Proverbs 12:26 NLT

Do people ever turn to you for advice? Does anyone ever seek your counsel? If so, what do you tell them? If they listen to you, will things go well for them? Or would they be better off finding another source of input?

Sometimes knowing what to say to those who come to you can be a real challenge. Our friends, family members and coworkers can often present us with some difficult problems to solve. They come to us wanting our wisdom on matters of real importance, and more often than not, we find ourselves stumped as to what to say. We aren’t always real sure what to tell them to do. And in many cases, no advice may be the best advice we can give them. Admitting to them that we don’t know what they should do just might be the most honest and loving thing we can do. Because as the verse above says, “The godly give good advice to their friends.” Notice the qualifier: good. It doesn’t say, “The godly give advice to their friends.” No, they give good advice. Actually, there is some debate as to exactly what this verse means. It has been translated a number of different ways and been given a variety of different meanings. The New American Standard Bible reads, “The righteous is a guide to his neighbor.” The Bible In Basic English puts it this way: “The upright man is a guide to his neighbour.” The New International Version gives it a slightly different twist: “A righteous man is cautious in friendship.” The Hebrew word has the meaning of spying out, searching, or doing reconnaissance. It seems to be saying that the godly does his homework before giving advice to his friend. He takes the time to find out how to do something before he tells someone else what to do. There is no flippancy or casualness to his advice. He takes what he is about to say seriously. He wants to make sure that whatever he tells his friend will get them where they need to go and not lead them astray.

Now think about how much advice we give in a given day – to our kids, friends, spouses, coworkers. We are quick to respond to requests for counsel, but do we spy out, search and do the reconnaissance necessary to ensure that our counsel is sound? Do we quote verses out of context or proof text passages in an effort to tell others something that sounds spiritual? It is so easy to tell someone going through difficulty that “all things work together for good to those who love God” (Romans 8:28). We drop verses on them like little hand grenades, not stopping to think if that is what they need to hear at that moment. Just because it is Scripture does not mean that it is appropriate for the moment. Sometimes we need to stop quoting and start listening. We need to keep our counsel to ourselves and simply lovingly listen to what the other person has to say. The key to this passage is that the godly person gives GOOD advice. It is well-timed, well-thought out, based on the wisdom of God, and proven to be beneficial. And the only way that you and I can give that kind of advice is if we have been spending time with God. We must have spent time with the Wise One if we want to give good, solid, wise advice to others. Because if our counsel is not from God, it will always lead others astray. Every day, well-meaning Christian friends give out bad advice. They tell individuals struggling with their marriages that God just wants them to be happy. They counsel wives to leave their husbands. They counsel husbands so that they reach faulty conclusions about their commitment to their marriage. They tell young people to reject the counsel of their parents because they are not believers. And they do all of this while quoting Scripture and bathing their advice in prayer. But more often than not, they’re wrong. They end up leading others astray. Giving counsel is serious business. Helping guide others is a great privilege and a huge responsibility. It is not something we should take lightly. So the next time someone comes to you for advice, think before you speak. Pray before you pontificate. Admit your own ignorance. Better to give no advice than bad advice. Tell them you need time to pray, think, and explore God’s Word because you give an answer. A quick answer may be the wrong answer. The godly give GOOD advice.

Father, thanks for this very timely reminder. It is so easy to dish out advice like candy. We flippantly throw out our words of wisdom without really thinking about whether we know what we’re talking about. We don’t think about the damage we may be doing or how we may be leading that person astray with our words. Make us more reflective before we respond. May we seek to be truly wise before we try to come off that way. Amen.

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 1b

October 1, 2012 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

The Call of the Wise.

“How long, you simpletons, will you insist on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.” – Proverbs 1:22-23 NLT

In these verses, God, personified as wisdom, calls out to mankind, inviting them to come to Him for wisdom. He specifically targets two different types of fool: The simple fool and the scorning fool. They represent two different extremes in foolish behavior. The simple fool is someone who, like a child, lacks basic common sense. They don’t know right from wrong and are prone to make unwise choices because they just don’t know any better. The scorning fool is further down the road in their foolish behavior and have learned to despise all authority in their lives. They actually enjoy their foolish behavior, defend it and reject anyone who tries to convict them about it. They mock those who would counsel them to change. They refuse to accept correction and visually disdain anyone who attempts to point them in the right direction. They “relish” their mocking.

The answer for both of these individuals is the same. They need God in their lives. They need to listen to His counsel and apply His principles to their lives. The simple fool needs to wake up and realize that he is simpleminded. He is an easy target for the enemy and has a tendency to have a simplified outlook on life. That’s perfectly acceptable for a small child, but there comes a time when we are to grow out of our childish ways. The scorning fool actually enjoys his mocking ways. He has convinced himself that he is right and everyone else, including God, is wrong. They both hate knowledge. They prefer life as it is, doing what is right in their own eyes. But God calls out to them, offering to share His heart with them. He offers wisdom in place of foolishness. Life in place of a slow march toward death.

But in spite of God’s patient, persistent calls, they have refused to come. They paid no attention. They ignored His advice. They reject the correction He offered. So God warns them” “So I will laugh when you are in trouble. I will mock you when disaster overtakes you – when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster engulfs you like a cyclone, and anguish and distress overwhelm you” (Proverbs 1:26-17 NLT). There will come a time when they frantically search for God and cry out to Him for help, but they will not find Him. Why? Because they did not want what He had to offer. They hated knowledge and chose not to fear Him (Proverbs 1:29). They rejected His advice and ignored His loving correction. So God will allow them to “eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes” (Proverbs 1:31 NLT). We’ve all seen it happen. Perhaps we’ve seen it happen to ourselves. We’ve allowed our foolishness to result in pain and disappointment, all because we refused to accept God’s offer of wisdom. We have refused to admit out need for Him. He reminds us that “all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm” (Proverbs 1:33 NLT). God cries out daily to all of us who struggle with being simpleminded and scornful. He pleads with us to listen to His wisdom. He offers us His heart. But too often we insist on being simpleminded and relish our own mocking. How long will we continue? How long until we listen? How long until we learn?

Father, You are all the wisdom I need in this world. You have all I need to live this life and yet I so often prefer my own foolishness over Your wisdom. I choose to live unwisely and then wonder why I suffer so much hurt and heartache because of the foolish things I end up doing. Open my eyes and help me see that it is YOU I need. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 13c

September 13, 2012September 13, 2012 / kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

Criticism Is Critical.

“If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored.” – Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Counsel, criticism, and correction. The Proverbs talk about all three and remind us that those who are wise willingly and gladly accept all three equally. But the reality for most of us is that we, at best, tolerate one of them and despise the other two. We will listen to counsel if we think it will benefit us or if it doesn’t vary too much from our preconceived plans. But criticism and correction are two separate matters. Nobody likes to be criticized. And few of us truly enjoy correction. But again, the wise are those who have learned the value of all three. Even a child can come to the place where they understand that their parents’ discipline is beneficial. “A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline, a mocker refuses to listen to correction” (Proverbs 13:1 NLT). Over in the book of Colossians, Paul tells us that, as believers, we have a responsibility to admonish or warn one another as part of our corporate experience as believers. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 NIV). We all have blind spots, those areas of our lives that we’re unable to see, and it takes a loving brother or sister in Christ to point them out so we can confess them and be cleansed from them. Those who are wise take counsel and correction equally. They see the benefit of both. “People who despise advice are asking for trouble” (Proverbs 13:13 NLT). “If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace” (Proverbs 13:18 NLT). Pretty serious stuff. Yet think about how often we reject the counsel, correction and criticism of others. We may accept it with a smile, but inside we can be angry and resentful. We may even avoid that person in the future, refusing to allow them to speak into our lives. When we do, we are the losers. We miss out on the benefits God has intended. Even when someone criticizes us unfairly or wrongly, we should learn to accept it patiently and lovingly, understanding that God knows our heart.

At the end of the day, our unwillingness to accept counsel, correction or criticism is all about pride. Admitting our flaws, acknowledging our ignorance, or accepting our need for correction is hard on our egos. But the wise rather increase in wisdom than worry about their pride. They would prefer to become more godly than simply pamper their egos with false flattery and pride-producing praise. Wise people know that it takes a true friend to tell you what everyone else is afraid to tell you. Wise people know that ignorance is NOT bliss and what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Wise people know that criticism may hurt, but not as much as hypocrisy or lies disguised as praise. Wise people don’t just tolerate counsel, they seek it. They depend on it. Counsel, criticism and correction. Three invaluable resources in the toolbox of the wise. You can’t live well without them.

Father, thank You for those You have placed in my life who love me enough to be honest with me. Thank You for giving them the ability to see what I can’t see and the determination to speak into my life revealing my flaws, sharing their wisdom, and lovingly correcting my mistakes. Give me an increasing love for godly counsel, correction and criticism in my life. Amen.