criticism

Bildad the Insufferable Bully

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1 Then Bildad the Shuhite answered and said:

2 “How long will you hunt for words?
    Consider, and then we will speak.
3 Why are we counted as cattle?
    Why are we stupid in your sight?
4 You who tear yourself in your anger,
    shall the earth be forsaken for you,
    or the rock be removed out of its place?

5 “Indeed, the light of the wicked is put out,
    and the flame of his fire does not shine.
6 The light is dark in his tent,
    and his lamp above him is put out.
7 His strong steps are shortened,
    and his own schemes throw him down.
8 For he is cast into a net by his own feet,
    and he walks on its mesh.
9 A trap seizes him by the heel;
    a snare lays hold of him.
10 A rope is hidden for him in the ground,
    a trap for him in the path.
11 Terrors frighten him on every side,
    and chase him at his heels.
12 His strength is famished,
    and calamity is ready for his stumbling.
13 It consumes the parts of his skin;
    the firstborn of death consumes his limbs.
14 He is torn from the tent in which he trusted
    and is brought to the king of terrors.
15 In his tent dwells that which is none of his;
    sulfur is scattered over his habitation.
16 His roots dry up beneath,
    and his branches wither above.
17 His memory perishes from the earth,
    and he has no name in the street.
18 He is thrust from light into darkness,
    and driven out of the world.
19 He has no posterity or progeny among his people,
    and no survivor where he used to live.
20 They of the west are appalled at his day,
    and horror seizes them of the east.
21 Surely such are the dwellings of the unrighteous,
    such is the place of him who knows not God.” – Job 18:1-21 ESV

In Bildad’s second speech to Job, one can sense his growing frustration and disdain for his “patient.” He is put out by Job’s persistent claims of innocence and more than a bit offended that his ungrateful friend refuses to recognize the wisdom of his words. So, Bildad resorts to name-calling and sarcasm. He turns into the neighborhood bully who picks on the one kid who can’t effectively defend himself.

First, he attacks Job’s verbosity, accusing him of being a pompous blowhard who seems to think that he can talk his way out of his dilemma.

“How long before you stop talking?
    Speak sense if you want us to answer!
Do you think we are mere animals?
    Do you think we are stupid?” – Job 18:2-3 NLT

Bildad finds Job’s little monologues to be nothing more than “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” He isn’t buying what Job is selling and is, frankly, fed up with having to listen to Job’s incessant claims of victimhood. In a highly unsympathetic tone, Bildad tells Job that his displays of self-righteous anger are a total waste of time.

“You may tear out your hair in anger,
    but will that destroy the earth?
    Will it make the rocks tremble?” – Job 18:4 NLT

Throwing a fit and putting on a show of mock mourning isn’t going to change anything. Job is wasting his time and his breath because Bildad and his companions remain stubbornly convinced that Job is guilty as charged. In fact, Bildad pulls no punches, clearly labeling Job as a wicked man who is getting exactly what he deserves.

“Surely the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.
    The sparks of their fire will not glow.
The light in their tent will grow dark.
    The lamp hanging above them will be quenched.
The confident stride of the wicked will be shortened.
    Their own schemes will be their downfall.” – Job 18:5-7 NLT

Throughout this relatively short speech, Bildad repeatedly associates Job with the wicked. There is nothing subtle about his insinuation and his words must have cut deep into Job’s psyche. How could a man whom Job considered to be a close friend end up being so brutally cruel and heartless? Bildad provides Job with no hope but, instead, he presents his friend with a bleak picture of further suffering that will end in Job’s demise. Unwilling to declare Job’s wickedness to his face, Bildad takes the more tactful but no less hurtful course. He simply infers Job’s guilt by referring to “the wicked,” and he makes it clear that “those people” always end up getting what they deserve.

“All memory of their existence will fade from the earth;
    no one will remember their names.” – Job 18:17 NLT

Job had lost everything but his mind. He could still understand what Bildad was saying and it must have cut like a knife. Bildad’s words were as subtle as a brick to the forehead. He practically describes Job’s personal plight word for word, in a less-than-compassionate attempt to prove just how wicked Job is.

“Terrors surround the wicked
    and trouble them at every step.
Hunger depletes their strength,
    and calamity waits for them to stumble.
Disease eats their skin;
    death devours their limbs.
They are torn from the security of their homes
    and are brought down to the king of terrors.
The homes of the wicked will burn down;
    burning sulfur rains on their houses.” – Job 18:11-15 NLT

Virtually every one of these things had happened to Job and Bildad was using them as evidence of the fate awaiting “the wicked.” In Bildad’s estimation, Job was living proof that the wicked always get what they deserve. Job’s litany of losses gave ample testimony to his life of unrighteousness; they were the just judgments of a holy God on an unholy man.

And in an almost demonic display of insensitivity, Bildad claims that any lingering hope that Job may have of leaving a legacy is nothing more than wishful thinking.

“They [the wicked] will be thrust from light into darkness,
    driven from the world.
They will have neither children nor grandchildren,
    nor any survivor in the place where they lived.” – Job 18:18-19 NLT

If anyone is wicked, it’s Bildad. He displays an inordinate amount of disdain for his friend, using his words to wound rather than to heal. He shows no desire to lift up his brother with words of encouragement. His speech is destructive rather than instructive. His callous conclusions are meant to defend himself rather than Job, and the longer he talks, the more damage he does.

Bildad finally runs out of things to say, but he makes sure to end his speech with a knock-out punch. He tells Job that, one day, long after Job is gone, people will come by the ruins of his former home and say, “This was the home of a wicked person, the place of one who rejected God” (Job 18:21 NLT).

According to Bildad, Job will leave a legacy, but it will not be the one he had hoped for. There will be no memories of Job’s blamelessness. There will be no heirs to carry on his good name. All that will be left to memorialize Job will be the remnants of his destroyed life. These are the words that Bildad leaves ringing in the ears of his suffering friend. And with friends like this, who needs enemies?

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Good advice, well-timed, produces the best outcomes

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14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
15 My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed,
    as torrential streams that pass away,
16 which are dark with ice,
    and where the snow hides itself.
17 When they melt, they disappear;
    when it is hot, they vanish from their place.
18 The caravans turn aside from their course;
    they go up into the waste and perish.
19 The caravans of Tema look,
    the travelers of Sheba hope.
20 They are ashamed because they were confident;
    they come there and are disappointed.
21 For you have now become nothing;
    you see my calamity and are afraid.
22 Have I said, ‘Make me a gift’?
    Or, ‘From your wealth offer a bribe for me’?
23 Or, ‘Deliver me from the adversary’s hand’?
    Or, ‘Redeem me from the hand of the ruthless’?

24 “Teach me, and I will be silent;
    make me understand how I have gone astray.
25 How forceful are upright words!
    But what does reproof from you reprove?
26 Do you think that you can reprove words,
    when the speech of a despairing man is wind?
27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless,
    and bargain over your friend.

28 “But now, be pleased to look at me,
    for I will not lie to your face.
29 Please turn; let no injustice be done.
    Turn now; my vindication is at stake.
30 Is there any injustice on my tongue?
    Cannot my palate discern the cause of calamity?” – Job 6:14-30 ESV

Job now turns his attention directly to Eliphaz and his as-yet silent companions. Their words have been anything but helpful or encouraging. At Job’s darkest moment in life, these men have shown up and made matters worse with their compassionless and self-righteous rhetoric. Job even accuses them of “withholding kindness” and demonstrating a total lack of fear or reverence for God. They are so confident in their assertion of Job’s guilt that they don’t even consider what God might have to say if they’re wrong.

When Job needed loyalty and moral support from his friends he got what he deemed to be treachery. The Hebrew word is בָּגַד (bāḡaḏ) and it conveys the idea of unfaithfulness or dealing with someone deceitfully. Job compares his friends to “a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow. But when the hot weather arrives, the water disappears. The brook vanishes in the heat” (Job 6:15-17 NLT). In other words, they are unpredictable and unreliable. They show up at inopportune times, bringing destruction rather than comfort, and when they are needed for refreshment, they are dry as a bone. 

His friends have been an utter disappointment, bringing no hope or healing with their presence or words. In fact, Job finds them to be more fearful than faithful. By casting all the blame on Job and writing off his suffering as the sovereign hand of God, they seem to be trying to excuse themselves from providing him with any kind of financial aid or assistance. If they can rationalize his losses as divine judgment, they can declare themselves to be free from having to help him. Job seems to see through their self-centered analysis of the situation when he asks, “Have I ever asked you for a gift? Have I begged for anything of yours for myself? Have I asked you to rescue me from my enemies, or to save me from ruthless people?” (Job 6:22-23 NLT).

These men knew that Job was in dire straights financially. He had lost all his flocks and herds, leaving him with no means of making a living. And the funeral expenses for his ten deceased children must have taken a hit on his resources as well. But Job has not asked them for assistance. At no point has he requested that they lend him money or come to his aid with anything other than moral support. Job had not requested their presence; they had shown up of their own accord. But their arrival on the scene had only made matters worse.

So, in frustration, Job invites them to state their case plainly. He wants facts and not just flimsy accusations of guilt. He demands that they prove whatever crime they think he has committed. If they are going to put him on trial, he wants them to bring clear and compelling evidence. He assures them that he is willing to listen to what they have to say and will accept their conclusions, even if their verdict is painful to hear.

But Job writes off their words as nothing more than criticism. They have no evidence of wrongdoing because there is none. And while their lengthy diatribes may inflate their own ego, they do nothing to aid Job in his moment of need. In their desperate attempt to explain Job’s desperate circumstances, they have completely overlooked his desperation. They have shown a stunning lack of compassion and empathy.

Job begs his friends to give him the benefit of the doubt. All he asks for is an opportunity to state his case and defend his integrity, and he fully expects those who claim to be his friends to consider him innocent until proven guilty – not the other way around. But Eliphaz has set the precedent. His rush to judgment has unsettled Job and left him hurt and harboring anger and, sadly, it will encourage Job’s other friends to follow suit. Soon, they will join in the dog pile and add to the burden that Job has to bear. Instead of comfort, they will continue to criticize and critique. In the place of much-needed encouragement, they will divvy out large doses of blame and shame. And, over time, Job’s resentment will grow, and his feelings of isolation will increase to the point where he finds himself lashing out in anger, not only at his friends but at God.

What a timely reminder of the need for grace and mercy when dealing with those who are suffering. Eliphaz and his compatriots could have used the wisdom of Solomon.

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. – Proverbs 25:11-12 NLT

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! – Proverbs 15:23 NLT

Job’s friends had shown up at just the right time but were sharing all the wrong advice. They failed to read the room and properly gauge the mental state of their audience. They may have meant well but their methods were far from helpful. And Job was far from done when it came to his response.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

I Pity the Fool

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1  A wise son hears his father’s instruction,
    but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
2 From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good,
    but the desire of the treacherous is for violence.
3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life;
    he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,
    while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.
5 The righteous hates falsehood,
    but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
6 Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless,
    but sin overthrows the wicked.
7 One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
    another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
8 The ransom of a man’s life is his wealth,
    but a poor man hears no threat.
9 The light of the righteous rejoices,
    but the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
10 By insolence comes nothing but strife,
    but with those who take advice is wisdom.
11 Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
    but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
13 Whoever despises the word brings destruction on himself,
    but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded.
14 The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life,
    that one may turn away from the snares of death.
15 Good sense wins favor,
    but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.
16 Every prudent man acts with knowledge,
    but a fool flaunts his folly.
17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble,
    but a faithful envoy brings healing.
18 Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction,
    but whoever heeds reproof is honored.
19 A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
    but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools.
20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
    but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
21 Disaster pursues sinners,
    but the righteous are rewarded with good.
22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children,
    but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
23 The fallow ground of the poor would yield much food,
    but it is swept away through injustice.
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
    but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
25 The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite,
    but the belly of the wicked suffers want. – Proverbs 13:1-25 ESV

It is sometimes difficult to discover a consistent theme in these Proverbs because they appear to jump from topic to topic. But upon closer examination, it becomes clear that these seemingly independent couplets are arranged in a somewhat topical fashion. Of course, the overarching theme has to do with wisdom and its antithesis, folly.

Solomon continues to contrast the way of the righteous with the way of the wicked, using simple-sounding statements to convey profound truths. His goal is to illustrate the fruit that accompanies each path. One way leads to life.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life… – Proverbs 13:3 ESV

The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life… – Proverbs 13:14 ESV

The way of the righteous results in rich rewards.

…the soul of the diligent is richly supplied… – Proverbs 13:4 ESV

One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
    another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. – Proverbs 13:7 ESV

…he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded. – Proverbs 13:13 ESV

…the righteous are rewarded with good… – Proverbs 13:21 ESV

A wise person is characterized by a teachable spirit.

A wise son hears his father’s instruction… – Proverbs 13:1 ESV

…with those who take advice is wisdom. – Proverbs 13:10 ESV

…whoever heeds reproof is honored. – Proverbs 13:18 ESV

The one who chooses the path of righteousness will find their desires fulfilled because they have sought the will and the way of God. By listening to and obeying His commandments, they will ultimately find themselves enjoying the fruit of their labors in the form of the blessings of God.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. – Proverbs 13:12 ESV

A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
    but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools. – Proverbs 13:19 ESV

As we saw in Proverbs 12, godliness is the byproduct of a vibrant and intimate relationship with God. The more time we spend with Him, the more often we obey Him; and the more dependent we become on Him, the more like Him we will become. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, and due to the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, we have the capacity to live godly lives – lives that are pleasing to and honoring of God. And the godly life not only has evidence that others can see, but it also comes with rewards. Godliness acts like a guard on our lives, providing us with wisdom for making good decisions, giving us the right words to say at the right time, and the insight on when to say nothing at all. Godliness gives us a hatred for lies and deception, a love for justice and truth, and a life filled with light and joy. Godliness gives us the insight to know that we are nothing without God, making us less prone to pride and more willing to seek advice and accept correction. The godly have a strong work ethic, not living with some sense of entitlement, expecting everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. And their hard work not only satisfies their hunger, but it also fulfills their dreams. The godly have the innate ability to think before they act, protecting them from foolish acts, harmful words, and dangerous decisions. And while their life will not be free from trouble and strife, those things will be less likely the result of their own stupidity, rashness, and foolhardiness. Godliness brings wisdom and wisdom is both protective and attractive. The wise live lives according to God’s ways and, as a result, they attract the attention of others who long to have what they have.

Godliness isn’t some kind of unrealistic objective designed to make our lives miserable because it is unachievable. Godliness is attainable, enjoyable, laudable, and highly possible, not because of anything we do, but because of what Christ has already done. His death on the cross makes the life of godliness possible for all who place their faith in Him and Him alone. And not only do we get eternal life in return, complete with an irrevocable guarantee of a place in heaven someday; we get the promise of the rewards that come with a life of godliness lived out here on this earth.

And while we live our lives on this planet, we must constantly deal with counsel, criticism, and correction. The Proverbs talk about all three and remind us that those who are wise willingly and gladly accept each equally. But the reality for most of us is that, at best, we tolerate one of them and despise the other two. We will listen to counsel if we think it will benefit us or if it doesn’t vary too much from our preconceived plans. But criticism and correction are two separate matters. Nobody likes to be criticized. And few of us truly enjoy correction. But again, the wise are those who have learned the value of all three. Even a child can come to a place where they understand that their parents’ discipline is beneficial.

A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline, a mocker refuses to listen to correction. –  Proverbs 13:1 NLT

In the book of Colossians, Paul tells us that, as believers, we have a responsibility to admonish or warn one another as part of our corporate experience as believers.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. – Colossians 3:16 NIV

We all have blind spots, those areas of our lives that we’re unable to see, and it takes a loving brother or sister in Christ to point them out so we can confess them and be cleansed from them. Those who are wise embrace counsel and correction equally. They see the benefit of both.

People who despise advice are asking for trouble. – Proverbs 13:13 NLT

If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace. – Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Pretty serious stuff. Yet think about how often we reject the counsel, correction, and criticism of others. We may accept it with a smile, but inside we can be angry and resentful. We may even avoid that person in the future, refusing to allow them to speak into our lives. When we do, we are the losers. We miss out on the benefits God has intended. Even when someone criticizes us unfairly or wrongly, we should learn to accept it patiently and lovingly, understanding that God knows our hearts.

At the end of the day, our unwillingness to accept counsel, correction, or criticism is all about pride. Admitting our flaws, acknowledging our ignorance, or accepting our need for correction is hard on our egos. But the wise would rather increase in wisdom than worry about their pride. They would prefer to become more godly than simply pamper their egos with false flattery and pride-producing praise. Wise people know that it takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear while everyone else avoids the subject like the plague. Wise people know that ignorance is NOT bliss, and what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Wise people know that criticism may hurt, but not as much as hypocrisy or lies disguised as praise. Wise people don’t just tolerate counsel, they seek it. They depend upon it. Counsel, criticism, and correction. Three invaluable resources in the toolbox of the wise. You can’t live well without them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

Proverbs 17e

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Correctly Handling Correction.

“A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.” – Proverbs 17:10 NLT

How do you handle correction? When someone critiques your work or criticizes your efforts, do you get mad, upset, frustrated, lash out, throw it back at them, or simply clam up and turn away in hurt and disappointment? None of us actually like to be corrected, but how we handle it says a lot about the condition of our heart and the degree of our wisdom. You see, a wise person, one who sees things from God’s perspective and attempts to live in obedience to and dependent upon God for all that he does – that person tends to see correction as beneficial and an opportunity to reflect on his life and learn from it. If correction makes us mad, it is usually due to pride and a reluctance to want to see any fault in our lives. We don’t like to have our faults exposed. We don’t like to have our shortcomings made known. We spend a lot of time erecting our facade of respectability and reliability, so when someone corrects or criticizes us, we can naturally react in anger and resentment. But the truly wise person is fully aware of his weaknesses, even when he can’t see them. He knows he is not perfect, but is a work in process – he is constantly being transformed by God through a slow, steady process that requires the revealing of sin so that it might be confessed and forgiven, and the “putting on” of his new nature, the very nature of Christ Himself.

Here’s a simple test. The next time someone critiques or criticizes you, watch your reaction. Do you get angry? Ask yourself why. Take time to determine the cause of your anger. Are you angry because they exposed a mistake and made you look bad? Are you upset because they made you look silly in front of your peers? The truth is, even if their criticism of you is unwarranted and undeserved, if you get angry, there is something being revealed in your life that you need to see and learn from. Criticism oftentimes reveals the condition of our heart. While the person may be exposing a flaw in something we said or did, our reaction to it is revealing a problem with the condition of our heart. Our anger, resentment, desire for revenge, or tendency to pull away in self-pity, all reflect a heart condition. A person of understanding has the capacity to learn from moments like this. He is able to assess and accept the criticism and learn from it. A fool simply gets mad gets even. In fact, this verse tells us that you could beat a fool or give him a whipping of a hundred lashes, and he still won’t learn anything. But a person of understanding will learn from a single word of correction.

Wise people are always learning. They’re always open to critique – in fact, they invite it. They know they are works in process and appreciate any help they can get that helps them see areas of weakness in their lives. They have the capacity to take even correction given in anger as potentially positive, because they view it as if from the very hand of God. This all reminds me of a an incident in the life of King David. His son, Absalom, had taken over his kingdom and David was escaping from Jerusalem in an attempt to save his own life. On his way, a man named Shimei, began throwing stones at David, cursing him and calling him a murderer. David’s men wanted to kill him, but David’s reaction was interesting. He said, “No! Leave him alone and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to do it. And perhaps the Lord will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of these curses today” (2 Samuel 17:11-12 NLT). David took the words of this man as from the Lord Himself. He viewed the entire affair from a divine perspective. God was in control and God was fully aware of all that was going on. So David was content to let God teach him what he needed to learn through this situation.

How we handle criticism and correction reveals a lot about our relationship with the Lord. If the correction is accurate, we can learn from it. If it is wrong, and yet we still get angry, we can examine our reaction to it and see if there is something in our hearts that needs to be corrected. But either way, we can learn to correctly handle correction, and grow from it.

Father, help me learn to take correction well. Thank You that you are always exposing weaknesses in my life. I am always in need of correction. And I need to be open to critique. Otherwise, I can grow complacent or overly confident, seeing myself as better than I am. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 13c

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Criticism Is Critical.

“If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored.” – Proverbs 13:18 NLT

Counsel, criticism, and correction. The Proverbs talk about all three and remind us that those who are wise willingly and gladly accept all three equally. But the reality for most of us is that we, at best, tolerate one of them and despise the other two. We will listen to counsel if we think it will benefit us or if it doesn’t vary too much from our preconceived plans. But criticism and correction are two separate matters. Nobody likes to be criticized. And few of us truly enjoy correction. But again, the wise are those who have learned the value of all three. Even a child can come to the place where they understand that their parents’ discipline is beneficial. “A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline, a mocker refuses to listen to correction” (Proverbs 13:1 NLT). Over in the book of Colossians, Paul tells us that, as believers, we have a responsibility to admonish or warn one another as part of our corporate experience as believers. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 NIV). We all have blind spots, those areas of our lives that we’re unable to see, and it takes a loving brother or sister in Christ to point them out so we can confess them and be cleansed from them. Those who are wise take counsel and correction equally. They see the benefit of both. “People who despise advice are asking for trouble” (Proverbs 13:13 NLT). “If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace” (Proverbs 13:18 NLT). Pretty serious stuff. Yet think about how often we reject the counsel, correction and criticism of others. We may accept it with a smile, but inside we can be angry and resentful. We may even avoid that person in the future, refusing to allow them to speak into our lives. When we do, we are the losers. We miss out on the benefits God has intended. Even when someone criticizes us unfairly or wrongly, we should learn to accept it patiently and lovingly, understanding that God knows our heart.

At the end of the day, our unwillingness to accept counsel, correction or criticism is all about pride. Admitting our flaws, acknowledging our ignorance, or accepting our need for correction is hard on our egos. But the wise rather increase in wisdom than worry about their pride. They would prefer to become more godly than simply pamper their egos with false flattery and pride-producing praise. Wise people know that it takes a true friend to tell you what everyone else is afraid to tell you. Wise people know that ignorance is NOT bliss and what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Wise people know that criticism may hurt, but not as much as hypocrisy or lies disguised as praise. Wise people don’t just tolerate counsel, they seek it. They depend on it. Counsel, criticism and correction. Three invaluable resources in the toolbox of the wise. You can’t live well without them.

Father, thank You for those You have placed in my life who love me enough to be honest with me. Thank You for giving them the ability to see what I can’t see and the determination to speak into my life revealing my flaws, sharing their wisdom, and lovingly correcting my mistakes. Give me an increasing love for godly counsel, correction and criticism in my life. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org