dualism

Lust, Love, and Marriage

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1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. – 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 ESV

As is usually the case in any congregation, there were two views or opinions influencing the church in Corinth. There were some whose Greek, dualistic way of thinking prompted them to see all sin as something done in the body and, therefore, permissible. These individuals viewed themselves as being made up a two natures: the body and the spirit. This pagan outlook on life caused them to excuse their immoral behavior as unimportant because it was merely the result of their temporal, earthly bodies, not their spirits.

But there was evidently another group within the church that also embraced dualism, but viewed it as a threat. Their solution was to practice a form of abstinence. Since they viewed the body as evil or sinful, they would simply deny the body anything that might cause it to sin, including sexual relations. In a previous letter they sent to Paul, they had commented: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” (1 Corinthians 7:1b ESV).  And while Paul saw a seed of truth in this statement, he also saw a serious danger. Their ongoing struggle with temptation toward sexual sin was going to make abstinence extremely difficult to carry off. The solution, according to Paul, was God-ordained marriage.

He tells them, “Because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs” (1 Corinthians 7:2-3 NLT). It was that Paul was against abstinence or celibacy. In fact, a few verses later, he makes a comment about the unmarried and widows in the church.

It’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. – 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 NLT

Abstinence may result in the absence of sexual contact, but it cannot eliminate the problem of lust. In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus made the bold statement, “everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 ESV). Simply refraining from sexual intercourse does not fix the problem of lust, because it emanates from the heart. Again, Jesus said, “for from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander” (Matthew 15:19 NLT).

Any attempt to separate the spiritual and the physical was based on man’s logic, not God’s Word. God had created marriage as the proper means by which men and women could enjoy His gift of sexual intimacy. And while marriage does not eliminate the problem of lust within the hearts of men and women, it does provide a God-ordained outlet for the expression and experience of the act of sex between a man and a woman.

But Paul knew that the dualistic viewpoint of the Corinthians could be destructive to God’s divine design for marriage. Some would choose to practice abstinence even within the confines of their marriage. However, Paul makes his view on this matter very clear.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. – 1 Corinthians 7:5a NLT

They were not to deny one another sexual intimacy, unless they had a very good spiritual reason for doing so, and the only one Paul lists is prayer. Even if they practiced abstinence for the purpose of prayer, they were to do so for a limited time period. Why? Because Paul knew their hearts. That is why he warned them, “Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5b NLT).

We tend to view abstinence as a form of self-control or self-denial, but if used improperly, it can actually produce lust. A couple that mutually agrees to refrain from sexual intimacy runs the risk of turning their abstinence into lust. Their self-denial for spiritual purposes, if prolonged, may cause them to seek sexual fulfillment outside the bonds of marriage.

At the heart of Paul’s commands on this topic is his concern for the spiritual well-being of the congregation in Corinth. He had a burden that each believer’s relationship with Christ be lived out and permeate every area of their lives, including their marriages. He made a concession toward abstinence in marriage only if it was done to concentrate on more pressing spiritual matters, such as prayer. For one spouse to deny the other their rightful access to sexual fulfillment would be un-Christlike and selfish. Paul makes it clear that the husband’s body is not his own to do with as he sees fit; it belongs to his wife. The same is true of the wife; her body belongs to her husband. There is to be a selflessness and an attitude of sacrifice at the heart of every Christian marriage. IT would be inappropriate for a husband or wife to satisfy their own desires by denying their spouse what God has intended for their good,

Paul’s admonition to the Philippian believers echoes his thoughts here.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. – Philippians 2:3-4 NLT

What better place to practice these practical warnings than within the context of a marriage? Any attempt to live a more godly life that ends up hurting someone else or denies the other person their God-ordained rights is misguided at best. We have been called to die to ourselves. We are commanded to put the other person first. We are to sacrifice willingly and selflessly. Spirituality is not about abstinence, but about obedience to the will of God as expressed in the Word of God and as lived out by the Son of God. He is to be our model. The Christ-like life is one of sacrifice, service, humility, and selfless love for others.

Father, marriage was Your idea, and yet, it has become infused with all kinds of warped and ungodly concepts that have made it a breeding ground for sin and selfishness. Sexual intimacy was also Your idea, but You confined it to the context of one woman married to one man. However, our society has attempted to destroy the God-ordained institution of marriage. As the Scriptures make clear, marriage was always meant to be an illustration of the union between Christ and His bride, the Church. When a husband and life live in faithfulness to one another, sacrificing their needs for the sake of the other, they model the selfless, sacrificial love of Christ. Would You empower Your people to make much of marriage and to use their own marriages as living illustrations of what it means to love as we have been loved — sacrificially, selflessly, and faithfully, for a lifetime. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Living With Eternity In Mind.

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Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. – 1 Corinthians 7:25-31 ESV

For the second time, Paul uses the phrase, “now concerning.” It would appear that he is answering yet another question that he had received from the church in Corinth regarding particular matters with which they were struggling. He opened this chapter with the words, “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote” (1 Corinthians 7:1 ESV). He has addressed the issue of sexual abstinence, agreeing that it is good, but that due to sexual temptation, it would be better to get married than to “burn with passion.” He has warned that sexual abstinence within marriage is viable only under one condition: that the couple do so in order to dedicate themselves to prayer. Otherwise, they should act as if their bodies do not belong to themselves, but to one another. Paul has indicated his desire that those who are single, remain so, so that they might dedicate all their energies to serving the Lord. But he knew that to do so and remains sexually pure would require a special gifting from God. Without it, they would be better off getting married. Those married to unbelievers should not seek a divorce, but remain in their marriage and have a godly influence on their spouse and children. And everyone should seek to remain as they were when God called them. There was no need for a radical change in circumstance, as much as a need for heart change. Slaves should seek to be godly slaves, rather than spending all their time obsessed with gaining their freedom. Everyone needed to understand that the greatest change in their lives was their newfound relationship with God. They were children of God whether they were free or not, married or single, circumcised or uncircumcised. It was their relationship with God that set them apart, not their particular circumstances.

Now Paul turns his attention to another group within the church: those who were single. The Greek word he uses is παρθένος (parthenos) and it can refer to a virgin, a marriageable woman, a single man who has remained sexually pure, or an unmarried daughter. In this context, it would seem that the term, as Paul uses it, “refers to young, engaged women who were under the influence of various groups within the Corinthian church not to go through with their marriages. The central issue would then be whether the young men and women should continue with their plans and finalize their marriages” (NET Bible Study Notes). In Paul’s day, fathers were the ones who determined who their illegible daughters would marry, so he is addressing them with these comments. But he most likely has single men in mind as well. The issue, as it has been all along, has to do with the Corinthians misunderstanding of the spiritual and physical dimensions of life. They had been heavily influenced by the philosophy of dualism and there were those within the church who were advocating abstinence from marriage altogether. Why? Because they viewed sexually activity as somehow evil. It was unspiritual, because it involved the body. Anything done in the body was viewed as either evil or nonessential. This view could lead to license, where anything was permissible because the body didn’t matter, or it could lead to asceticism, a rigorous form of self-denial.

To address this issue and to deal with those within the church who were single, Paul repeats that it would be best to remain as they are. If they are single, remain so. And he gives a more detailed explanation to his answer this time. He says, “I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is” (1 Corinthians 7:26 ESV). We are not exactly sure what Paul means by this statement, but it would appear from the context, that he is talking about the end times. He also says, “the appointed time has grown very short” (1 Corinthians 7:29 ESV). Paul lived with a strong belief that the end of the age was near. It strongly impacted his approach to life. He tells the Corinthians, “the present form of this world is passing away” (1 Corinthians 7:31 ESV). He had a strong sense that the return of Christ was near and that each believer should live with a sense of anticipation and eager expectation that He could appear at any moment. With that in mind, Paul encourages the singles within the church to remain so. But he also makes it clear that they are perfectly free to marry should they choose to do so. “But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin” (1 Corinthians 7:28a NLT). He plainly refutes the false view of the ascetics and dualists. But he also makes it perfectly clear that he believes the days ahead will be difficult for everyone – “those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems” (1 Corinthians 7:28b NLT). 

The bottom line for Paul was that every believer needed to put their focus on living for Christ. They needed to have a single-minded devotion to their faith, living with their hopes and passions fixed on the future, not the present. Paul gives some curious and seemingly confusing advice: “let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it” (1 Corinthians 7:29-21 ESV). He is not advising married individuals to act as if they weren’t married. He is not advocating the neglect of your spouse. He is simply saying that marriage cannot be your sole focus in life. As believing couples, they were to make it their goal to live for Christ and to make an impact for the kingdom through their marriage. Those who found themselves in times of difficulty were not to spend all their time mourning over their problems, but they were to get to work, replacing their temporal concerns with an eternal focus. Those with money were not to live as if material things were the most important thing in life. Those who enjoy all the things this world has to offer – power, possessions, pleasure –  should hold them with open hands, because this world is passing away.

Debates about marriage and singleness, abstinence and avoidance, spirituality and worldliness, were all a waste of time if believers do not remember who they are in Christ and why they are here. Paul’s life was gospel-driven. He saw himself as the citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven, not of this earth. He lived with the end in view. And he longed for the Corinthians to have the same mindset. He wanted them to share his outlook on life: “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:13-14 NLT).

Wholly His To Be Holy.

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“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. – 1 Corinthians 6:12-17 ESV

At the heart of Paul’s ongoing discussion with the Corinthians was his defense of and belief if the centrality of the gospel. For Paul, the gospel was about far more than a guaranteed place in heaven. There is no doubt that Paul looked forward to the day when he would be with the Lord in His heavenly kingdom. In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul states that he “would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8 ESV). Speaking of our earthly bodies, Paul says, “For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling” (2 Corinthians 5:2 ESV). He knew that the day was coming when he would receive a new body, a spiritual body, created by God for eternal life. “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens” (2 Corinthians 5:1 ESV). But even with that assurance of a redeemed body and a reserved place in eternity, Paul lived with his sights fully set on the present. It was his aim to please God with the life he had been given and to do the work to which he had been assigned by God. It was this view that led him to write, “whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Corinthians 5:9-10 ESV).

But what does all this have to do with the passage above? It seems that there were those in the church in Corinth who were living as if what they did in their earthly bodies didn’t matter. As Greeks, they probably held the view that the body was unimportant, acting as nothing more than a receptacle to hold man’s soul. “The Greeks always looked down on the body. There was a proverbial saying, ‘The body is a tomb.’ Epictetus said, ‘I am a poor soul shackled to a corpse’” (William Barclay, The Letters to the Corinthians, p. 22.). Evidently, it was this view of the body that was leading some of the believers in Corinth to commit acts of immorality. And Paul used some of their arguments against them. There were those who were justifying their actions by saying, “All things are lawful for me.” In other words, they argued that they were free in Christ. As Paul even taught, they were no longer required to keep the Mosaic law and its host of restrictions in order to be justified before God. But they were taking their newfound freedom in Christ to an inappropriate extreme, replacing legalism with license. They were combining their freedom in Christ with Greek dualism, that said the body didn’t matter, because we are spiritual beings. This viewpoint went contrary to the gospel. Christ came to redeem body and soul. He died to free us from the future penalty of sin, but also from the present power of sin over our lives. That is why Paul was able to say, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 ESV). 

While, as believers, we do experience a newfound freedom in Christ, that does not mean that everything we are free to do is the right thing to do. Paul said that no all things that are lawful for us are helpful. For Paul, the gospel was about life change. It was about becoming other-oriented rather than self-focused. In fact, it was about dying to self and living for others, just as Jesus had modeled. Paul will raise this same issue later on in his letter. “‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Corinthians 10:23-24 ESV). Living the Christian life is not about what is best for me, but what will benefit the body of Christ and honor God. As Paul so clearly states, “whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31b ESV).

There is a sense in which the Corinthians did not understand the full impact of their conversion. When they had accepted Christ as their Savior, they had been joined to Him. They now shared His nature. They had been inhabited by His Spirit. As Paul states it, “your bodies are members of Christ” (1 Corinthians 6:15a ESV). The Greek word for “members” was commonly used to refer to a limb of the human body, such as an arm or leg. As Christians, we are members of the body of Christ. We have been joined to Him and He is the head of the body. We do not exist for ourselves. What we do affects the entire body of Christ. Which is why Paul asks, “Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?” (1 Corinthians 6:15b ESV). And he answers his own question with an emphatic, “Never!” What we do in our physical bodies has a direct impact on our spiritual lives. We are not dualistic in nature, but holistic. The Hebrew word for “blameless” is תָּמִים (tamiym) and it means “complete, whole, entire, sound, having integrity” (“H8549 – tamiym – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (KJV).” Blue Letter Bible). We are to live our lives before God with integrity or wholeness. What I think with my mind matters. What I do with my body makes a difference. What I see with my eyes impacts my soul. Christ died to redeem all of me. He came to save me from what Paul refers to as “this body of death” (Romans 7:24). He came to give me new life here and now, and to miraculously re-purpose my body for the glory of God. So Paul would remind us, “Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God” (Romans 6:13 NLT).