encouragement

Life Doesn’t Always Make Sense

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1 Then Job answered and said:

2 “Keep listening to my words,
    and let this be your comfort.
3 Bear with me, and I will speak,
    and after I have spoken, mock on.
4 As for me, is my complaint against man?
    Why should I not be impatient?
5 Look at me and be appalled,
    and lay your hand over your mouth.
6 When I remember, I am dismayed,
    and shuddering seizes my flesh.
7 Why do the wicked live,
    reach old age, and grow mighty in power?
8 Their offspring are established in their presence,
    and their descendants before their eyes.
9 Their houses are safe from fear,
    and no rod of God is upon them.
10 Their bull breeds without fail;
    their cow calves and does not miscarry.
11 They send out their little boys like a flock,
    and their children dance.
12 They sing to the tambourine and the lyre
    and rejoice to the sound of the pipe.
13 They spend their days in prosperity,
    and in peace they go down to Sheol.
14 They say to God, ‘Depart from us!
    We do not desire the knowledge of your ways.
15 What is the Almighty, that we should serve him?
    And what profit do we get if we pray to him?’
16 Behold, is not their prosperity in their hand?
    The counsel of the wicked is far from me.” – Job 21:1-16 ESV

Job’s friends have a theology of consequences. Their arguments are based on their belief that Job’s circumstances are the obvious result of his sinful behavior. He is suffering the consequences of pursuing wickedness. They take a look at the recent events of his life and conclude that God must be punishing him.

All of their speeches are based on this assumption and, the truth is, we can easily find ourselves doing the same thing. When we see someone suffering, we can easily jump to the conclusion that they’ve done something wrong and are being punished by God in some way. Many of us have the same you-reap-what-you-sow mentality as Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad. It creeps into our thinking and influences our views on life. For instance, if something negative happens in our day, we can quickly find ourselves asking the question, “What did I do wrong?”

We can easily assume that we are suffering the consequences of some past action or thought. God must be punishing us for something we’ve done. And, if we’re not careful, we can just as easily view the sufferings or trials of others in the same simplistic way.

But Job points out a very logical argument against this sin-has-consequences theology. He asks his accusers to take a look at the world around them and explain why it is that most wicked people don’t ever suffer the way he has. In fact, they seem to thrive.

“Why do the wicked prosper,
    growing old and powerful?
They live to see their children grow up and settle down,
    and they enjoy their grandchildren.
Their homes are safe from every fear,
    and God does not punish them.” – Job 21:7-9 NLT

Great question, Job.

Life is not as black and white as it sometimes appears. Not everything fits into a neat and clean cause-and-effect paradigm.

Job points out that they tend to grow old and rich, and their kids grow up to enjoy the wealth they leave behind. From all appearances, there doesn’t seem to be any punishment from God on their lives. These very same people openly dismiss God and deny any need for his help or his forgiveness. They mockingly portray God as useless and totally unnecessary because they view their success or failure as completely up to them alone. Job argues that these wicked individuals don’t suffer, despite their dishonoring treatment of the Almighty.

“Go away. We want no part of you and your ways. Who is the Almighty, and why should we obey him? What good will it do us to pray?” – Job 21:14-15 NLT

Job points out that these people show no fear or respect for God, but they don’t seem to suffer for it. The truth is that they actually prosper, and “they think their prosperity is of their own doing” (Job 21:16 NLT). 

And Job is not alone in his outlook on the wicked. The prophet Jeremiah also voiced his confusion over the seeming success of those who dishonor God.

Lord, you always give me justice
    when I bring a case before you.
So let me bring you this complaint:
Why are the wicked so prosperous?
    Why are evil people so happy?
You have planted them,
    and they have taken root and prospered.
Your name is on their lips,
    but you are far from their hearts. – Jeremiah 12:1-2 NLT

The prophet Malachi had to address the growing consternation of the people of God who were questioning whether it was worth it to remain faithful. From their perspective, it seemed that the wicked were better off.

“You have said, ‘What’s the use of serving God? What have we gained by obeying his commands or by trying to show the Lord of Heaven’s Armies that we are sorry for our sins? From now on we will call the arrogant blessed. For those who do evil get rich, and those who dare God to punish them suffer no harm.’” – Malachi 3:14-15 NLT

An honest and objective look at the world would seem to indicate that the wicked don’t always suffer for their actions. Good doesn’t always win out over evil. The righteous don’t always come out on top. After all, Jesus Christ Himself died at the hands of wicked and unrighteous men. Most, if not all, of the disciples suffered martyrdom. History tends to validate Job’s conclusion.

This beleaguered man understood that life was not always easily explainable. We don’t know why some suffer and others do not. We can’t explain why a massive earthquake strikes one nation and not another. Sure, science can provide geological explanations, but no one can fully comprehend the moral implications of such devastating natural disasters.

We don’t know why one person suffers from cancer while another doesn’t. We don’t know why one couple loses their child in a car accident while another couple is allowed to watch their child grow up and live a long life. The fact is, there are things we do not know. There are mysteries to life that we can’t explain.

That is where faith comes in. That is where trust in a holy, mighty, all-knowing God comes in. Rather than turning to our conclusions, we must turn to Him. Even God Himself reminds us, “My thoughts are completely different from yours,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT).

When it comes to the egocentric ramblings of self-made men who claim that their prosperity is their own doing, Job simply states, “I will have nothing to do with that kind of thinking” (Job 21:16 NLT). He refuses to take credit for his success but he also refuses to take ownership for his seeming failure. Just because things have not turned out the way he had envisioned, that doesn’t mean he is wicked and reaping the righteous judgment of God. Job refused to draw that pessimistic conclusion.

What he needed and greatly desired was for his friends to comfort and console him in his time of need. He didn’t need correction or caustic comments concerning his guilt. He could have used the heart-warming words of

Don’t worry about the wicked
    or envy those who do wrong.
For like grass, they soon fade away.
    Like spring flowers, they soon wither.

Trust in the Lord and do good.
    Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires. – Psalm 37:1-4 NLT

These words were written by a man who had experienced his fair share of suffering and sorrow. He had spent years running for his life, attempting to escape the bounty that King Saul had placed on his head. He had been anointed by the prophet of God to become the next king of Israel and yet he was forced to live like a fugitive and was treated like a convicted felon. Yet, he was able to pen the following words.

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes. – Psalm 37:7 NLT

Life can be difficult to understand because things don’t always turn out the way we expect. Even the psalmist, Asaph, expressed his confusion and frustration with the incongruities of living in a fallen and sin-damaged world.

Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those whose hearts are pure.
But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
    My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
For I envied the proud
    when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
They seem to live such painless lives;
    their bodies are so healthy and strong.
They don’t have troubles like other people;
    they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else. – Psalm 73:1-5 NLT

But Asaph came to his senses and recognized the futility of his faulty thinking.

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
    and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
    I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
    you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
    leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
    I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
    but God remains the strength of my heart;
    he is mine forever. – Psalm 73:21-26 NLT

Job was not there yet. He had not reached the same conclusion as Asaph, but that time would come. He would eventually understand and appreciate the ways of God. But in the moment of his distress what he really needed was friends who would stand beside him and not gloat over him. He could have used a few encouraging words from a David or an Asaph. But he was stuck with Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.

The question we must ask ourselves is what kind of friends are we? Do we reach conclusions about the suffering of others based on conjecture and solely on our examination of the consequences? Are we too quick to question the wickedness of others or to doubt the goodness of God? May the following prayer reflect the desire of our hearts as we live our lives in this fallen and sometimes confusing world.

Father, forgive me for reaching conclusions about You that are based solely on conjecture and poor conclusions based on consequences and nothing more. You are inexplicable and Your ways are always unquestionably right and good. Help me to look for You in any and all circumstances of life. Help me to see the good You are bringing about in my life and the lives of others – in spite of what I may see. Your ways are not my ways. Your plans are beyond my knowledge and understanding, but they are always right and true. Thank You for that reminder and assurance. Amen.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A One-Dimensional View of God

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1 “My spirit is broken; my days are extinct;
    the graveyard is ready for me.
2 Surely there are mockers about me,
    and my eye dwells on their provocation.

3 “Lay down a pledge for me with you;
    who is there who will put up security for me?
4 Since you have closed their hearts to understanding,
    therefore you will not let them triumph.
5 He who informs against his friends to get a share of their property—
    the eyes of his children will fail.

6 “He has made me a byword of the peoples,
    and I am one before whom men spit.
7 My eye has grown dim from vexation,
    and all my members are like a shadow.
8 The upright are appalled at this,
    and the innocent stirs himself up against the godless.
9 Yet the righteous holds to his way,
    and he who has clean hands grows stronger and stronger.
10 But you, come on again, all of you,
    and I shall not find a wise man among you.
11 My days are past; my plans are broken off,
    the desires of my heart.
12 They make night into day:
    ‘The light,’ they say, ‘is near to the darkness.’
13 If I hope for Sheol as my house,
    if I make my bed in darkness,
14 if I say to the pit, ‘You are my father,’
    and to the worm, ‘My mother,’ or ‘My sister,’
15 where then is my hope?
    Who will see my hope?
16 Will it go down to the bars of Sheol?
    Shall we descend together into the dust?” – Job 17:1-16 ESV

In this section of Job’s speech, he inadvertently shifts from talking to God directly to addressing Him in the third person. It is as if he is addressing two different audiences at once. One moment, he seems to be speaking directly to God:

“You must defend my innocence, O God,
    since no one else will stand up for me.” – Job 17:3 NLT

In the next breath, he addresses an unseen audience to whom he vents his frustration about Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.

“God has made a mockery of me among the people;
    they spit in my face.” – Job 17:6 NLT

Then he suddenly directs his attention back to his three accusers.

“As for all of you, come back with a better argument,
    though I still won’t find a wise man among you.” – Job 17:10 NLT

It’s almost as if Job sees himself on trial in a courtroom. He is standing before God, who serves as the judge, his three friends make up the prosecution, and his neighbors act as a jury of his peers. Job finds himself on the witness stand, responding to the accusations of his guilt, and attempting to sway the judge and jury of his innocence.

In his hopeless and impoverished state, Job pleads with God to put up the money for his bond.

“Lay down a pledge for me with you;
    who is there who will put up security for me?” – Job 17:3 ESV

In the legal system of that day, each litigant was required to post a bond that would help cover the expense of the trial. At the end of the trial, the losing party would forfeit whatever collateral they had pledged. But Job was destitute and had lost all his worldly possessions, so he had no cash or collateral on hand. Job’s unusual request for a pledge from “the judge” was his way of letting God know that he felt like he was on trial. There was no literal courtroom with a jury and a judge sitting on a dais. But from Job’s perspective, his entire life had turned into a courtroom drama with himself as the defendant and God acting as his judge.

What complicated matters for Job was that the judge was also the cause of all his troubles. Since Job believed in the sovereignty of God, he could reach no other conclusion than that the Almighty was the moving force behind all that had happened in his life. At no time does Job blame Satan or anyone else for his problems. He inherently knows that God is the ruler over all the universe and nothing happens without His consent or causation.

So, in this “trial” of his life, Job finds himself in a rather awkward position, having to defend himself against his “assailant” who also serves as his judge. And, in a way, Job must also rely on God to act as his defense attorney because he has no one else to whom he can turn or trust. This rather unconventional trial causes Job to make statements that seem contradictory and confusing.

While he expresses anger with the unwarranted attacks of his friends, Job holds God responsible.

“You have closed their minds to understanding,
    but do not let them triumph.
They betray their friends for their own advantage…” – Job 17:5 NLT

Yet, he wants the judge to punish his friends for their actions.

“… so let their children faint with hunger.” – Job 17:5 b NLT

Job couldn’t help but hold God accountable. After all, he believed His all-powerful God to be in control of all things at all times. So, he reasoned that his difficulties could have no explanation other than God. And his undeserved and inexplicable troubles were having a negative impact on those around him.

“God has made a mockery of me among the people;
    they spit in my face.
My eyes are swollen with weeping,
    and I am but a shadow of my former self.
The virtuous are horrified when they see me.
    The innocent rise up against the ungodly.” – Job 17:6-8 NLT

Those who once looked up to Job as an icon of integrity and virtue now cross to the other side of the street when they see him. They avoid him like the plague. Those who once revered Job for his righteousness are now horrified by his apparent wickedness and join the mob that assails him as ungodly. He has become a social pariah and an outcast in his own community. He has no family, home, or friends. He is alone and desperate for someone to come to his aid and defense, so he calls on his God.

“My days are over.
    My hopes have disappeared.
    My heart’s desires are broken.” – Job 17:11 NLT

These are the cries of a broken man. He is not using hyperbole or overexaggerated rhetoric to intensify his suffering. He is not shedding crocodile tears or putting on a performance to gain the sympathy of the judge and jury. Job is at the end of his emotional tether, crying out for someone to step in and deliver him from the never-ending nightmare that has become his life.

What frustrates Job is how his friends use their words to twist reality. Their clever speeches paint a false picture of what is really going on.

“These men say that night is day;
    they claim that the darkness is light.” – Job 17:12 NLT

Their statements contradict the truth. In a sense, Job accuses them of lying in order to state their case against him. Their words, cleverly spoken, are nothing but fabrications and half-truths that portray Job as a wicked man who fully deserves all that is happening. But Job knows that they are wrong. Yet, the only hope he has left is death. The only way he sees this nightmare ending is with the termination of his life.

“If I hope for Sheol as my house,
    if I make my bed in darkness,
if I say to the pit, ‘You are my father,’
    and to the worm, ‘My mother,’ or ‘My sister,’
where then is my hope?” – Job 17:13-15 ESV

But in his heart, he knows that death will not bring deliverance. The loss of his life will not restore his reputation, bring back his dead children, or renew the joy he once had. With no clear idea of what lay beyond the grave, Job could not imagine death as the preferred solution to his problem. That is what led him to take his case to God.

He is pleading with God to come up with another plan. He asks the judge to pronounce a verdict that will vindicate him and restore him – in this life. Job doesn’t want to die, but if the future holds more suffering, he sees it as his only way out. However, he believed that God had the power and authority to step in and change the course of his life. If God had caused it all, He could also bring it to an end.

But Job had a one-dimensional view of God. He had somehow reached the conclusion that a good God gives nothing but good gifts to his good children. If Job was convinced of his own righteousness, then he believed himself to be deserving of God’s goodness. In a sense, he had turned God into a cosmic slot machine, a kind of divine genie in the sky who doles out good things to His good children. But this seems to contradict what Job stated back in chapter two.

“Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”  Job 2:10 ESV

Yet, time has a way of altering our perspective. The longer Job had to dwell on and in his misery, the more uncertain he became about his earlier statement. He had been willing to accept the evil as long as it was immediately followed up by a proportionate amount of good. But when more trouble came his way and the floodgates of God’s goodness didn’t open up as expected, Job began to have second thoughts. He began to question the goodness of God. Things hadn’t turned out as he anticipated and his one-dimensional view of God was leaving him conflicted and confused. Where were his rewards? When was God going to show up and pour out all His blessings again? But Job had much to learn about God and his own unworthiness.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

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17 “I will show you; hear me,
    and what I have seen I will declare
18 (what wise men have told,
    without hiding it from their fathers,
19 to whom alone the land was given,
    and no stranger passed among them).
20 The wicked man writhes in pain all his days,
    through all the years that are laid up for the ruthless.
21 Dreadful sounds are in his ears;
    in prosperity the destroyer will come upon him.
22 He does not believe that he will return out of darkness,
    and he is marked for the sword.
23 He wanders abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’
    He knows that a day of darkness is ready at his hand;
24 distress and anguish terrify him;
    they prevail against him, like a king ready for battle.
25 Because he has stretched out his hand against God
    and defies the Almighty,
26 running stubbornly against him
    with a thickly bossed shield;
27 because he has covered his face with his fat
    and gathered fat upon his waist
28 and has lived in desolate cities,
    in houses that none should inhabit,
    which were ready to become heaps of ruins;
29 he will not be rich, and his wealth will not endure,
    nor will his possessions spread over the earth;
30 he will not depart from darkness;
    the flame will dry up his shoots,
    and by the breath of his mouth he will depart.
31 Let him not trust in emptiness, deceiving himself,
    for emptiness will be his payment.
32 It will be paid in full before his time,
    and his branch will not be green.
33 He will shake off his unripe grape like the vine,
    and cast off his blossom like the olive tree.
34 For the company of the godless is barren,
    and fire consumes the tents of bribery.
35 They conceive trouble and give birth to evil,
    and their womb prepares deceit.” – Job 15:17-35 ESV

Eliphaz has a way with words but it would be difficult to describe him as an encourager. He has a gift for crafting well-worded sentences that paint vivid images in the mind, yet do little to lift up the spirits of the one to whom they’re directed. This guy is a veritable factory of one-liners and memorable word pictures. His vocabulary is impressive, as is his ability to string together powerfully worded indictments that masquerade as well-intended counsel to his afflicted friend.

His gift of persuasion is hard to argue with and one can almost find themselves nodding their head in agreement as he waxes eloquent about Job’s guilt and his need for repentance. After all, he seems to know what he’s talking about and even claims to have plenty of hard-earned personal experience that lends him credibility and authority in the matter.

“If you will listen, I will show you.
    I will answer you from my own experience.
And it is confirmed by the reports of wise men
    who have heard the same thing from their fathers—
from those to whom the land was given
    long before any foreigners arrived.” – Job 15:17-19 NLT

He claims to be backed by the wisdom of the ages, so his advice should be heeded and his words should go unchallenged. For Job to try and refute Eliphaz’s counsel would be to reject generations of proven insight into the human experience. He would be standing opposed to centuries worth of collective knowledge and stubbornly rejecting the tried-and-true insights of the sages.

How is Job supposed to withstand that kind of withering assault on his innocence? If he continues to hold his ground and stubbornly cling to his blamelessness, he will only add fuel to the fire and validate Eliphaz’s claims. After all, Eliphaz has carefully constructed his prosecution of Job, using any claims of innocence as proof of guilt. In his estimation, only the wicked would dare to lash out at God. A truly innocent man would show honor and respect by confessing his guilt and placing himself in the hands of the Almighty. And Eliphaz strengthens his case by comparing Job’s actions with those of the wicked and godless.

“The wicked writhe in pain throughout their lives.
    Years of trouble are stored up for the ruthless.
The sound of terror rings in their ears,
    and even on good days they fear the attack of the destroyer.” – Job 15:20-21 NLT

Eliphaz is anything but subtle. He claims that Job is only getting what he deserves for a life of hidden wickedness. Job may have fooled his family and friends but he couldn’t pull the wool over God’s eyes. Now, he was getting his just desserts. At least, that’s how Eliphaz saw it.

He compares Job to a king who knows he is facing defeat at the hands of a more powerful foe but stubbornly clings to his false hope of victory. These kinds of fools “shake their fists at God, defying the Almighty. Holding their strong shields, they defiantly charge against him” (Job 15:25-26 NLT).

Don’t miss what Eliphaz is doing. He is setting Job up by turning every attempt at self-justification into proof of guilt. If Job even dares to question his circumstances, he is “shaking his fist at God” and “defying the Almighty.” This assertion virtually eliminates all options for Job. He’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. His persistent pleas of innocence will only confirm his guilt but so will a vow of silence. Eliphaz has painted Job into a corner and left him with no way out.

Sensing that he has Job on the ropes, Eliphaz increases the intensity of his attacks, painting his hapless friend as being overweight from a life of over-indulgence. He is fat and bloated from decades of excess and extreme wickedness.

“These wicked people are heavy and prosperous;
    their waists bulge with fat.” – Job 15:27 NLT

Subtlety is not Eliphaz’s strong suit. He wields words like a sledgehammer, obliterating any semblance of hope that may remain in Job’s already fractured heart. Eliphaz has gotten personal by attacking Job’s physical appearance along with his integrity. Once again, Eliphaz is attempting to portray Job as a hypocrite and a fraud. He is not what he appears to be. Eliphaz has deduced that the pity-producing cries of his suffering friend are nothing but a cleverly orchestrated facade designed to distract and deceive. The more vociferously Job demands his guiltlessness, the more condemned he stands.

It’s quite clear that Eliphaz has no doubts regarding Job’s guilt. In his mind, Job is wicked and godless, and his losses are all the proof he needs to elicit a guilty verdict from the Judge of the universe. He believes he has God on his side and one can almost see the smirk on his face as he confidently asserts that the riches of the wicked “will not last, and their wealth will not endure” (Job 15:29 NLT). Job has seen his wealth evaporate before his eyes. He has nothing left. And, for Eliphaz, this is further proof of his friend’s culpability. With Job’s finances in shambles, he has no resources on which to rely, and Eliphaz knows it. In fact, he coldly states that Job’s poverty has left him with nothing to look forward to than a life of emptiness. It will be Job’s only reward. 

This man is relentless and compassionless. He has become so determined to prove himself right that he has become blind to the wrongs he has inflicted on his helpless and hopeless friend. Eliphaz has lost all capacity to see Job’s pain and provide solace. His words have become pain-inducing, not peace-producing.

The apostle James points out the danger of an unbridled tongue.

If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. – James 1:26-27 NLT

Job was not a widow or an orphan but he was a man in great distress, and Eliphaz and his friends, in their self-righteousness, were using their tongues to burden him with a heavy weight of unnecessary pain and suffering. James went on to describe the damaging influence of an unbridled tongue.

…the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. – James 3:6 NLT

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were all adept at wielding their tongues but the byproduct of their efforts was anything but uplifting. Job had not been comforted or cared for. Their religious speech had not produced righteousness. And James would have called them out for using the same tongue with which they praised God to curse one who had been made in the image of God (James 3:9). In doing so, these men had put themselves in the place of God. Each of them viewed himself as Job’s judge, jury, and executioner.

I believe James would have counseled Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar to back off and reconsider how they were using their tongues. He would have asked them to examine their motives. He would have questioned the health of their own hearts and encouraged them to do a bit of personal soul-searching to see if their wisdom was really from God or not.

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. – James 3:13-16 NLT

Each of us could stand to learn from the not-so-flattering examples of Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. We would do well to consider our own tendency to give out unsolicited advice and, in doing so, to do immeasurable damage to those who desperately need a word of encouragement in their time of need. Each of us would be wise to consider the words of James.

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. – James 1:19-20 NLT

May we not forget the words Jesus spoke to the self-righteous and quick-to-judge Pharisees: “…let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (John 8:7 NLT)

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Time to Listen and Love

/ kdmiller55 / 2 Comments

1 Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said:

2 “Should a wise man answer with windy knowledge,
    and fill his belly with the east wind?
3 Should he argue in unprofitable talk,
    or in words with which he can do no good?
4 But you are doing away with the fear of God
    and hindering meditation before God.
5 For your iniquity teaches your mouth,
    and you choose the tongue of the crafty.
6 Your own mouth condemns you, and not I;
    your own lips testify against you.

7 “Are you the first man who was born?
    Or were you brought forth before the hills?
8 Have you listened in the council of God?
    And do you limit wisdom to yourself?
9 What do you know that we do not know?
    What do you understand that is not clear to us?
10 Both the gray-haired and the aged are among us,
    older than your father.
11 Are the comforts of God too small for you,
    or the word that deals gently with you?
12 Why does your heart carry you away,
    and why do your eyes flash,
13 that you turn your spirit against God
    and bring such words out of your mouth?
14 What is man, that he can be pure?
    Or he who is born of a woman, that he can be righteous?
15 Behold, God puts no trust in his holy ones,
    and the heavens are not pure in his sight;
16 how much less one who is abominable and corrupt,
    a man who drinks injustice like water!” – Job 15:1-16 ESV

Eliphaz has heard enough. Having listened to Job’s lengthy diatribe, Eliphaz decides to speak up again and delivers a second speech aimed at exposing his friend’s pride and arrogance. He can’t believe the cockiness and overconfidence that Job displays. How can any man declare himself to be innocent in the eyes of God?

While Eliphaz tries to come across as defending the integrity of God, he seems more concerned about his own reputation. He has taken Job’s words personally and determined that his own integrity as a friend and a counselor has come under attack. How dare Job reject the advice of such learned men as Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar? He is so upset that he describes Job as a veritable blowhard who spews mindless rhetoric and rejects the wise counsel of his betters.

“You are nothing but a windbag.
The wise don’t engage in empty chatter.
    What good are such words?” – Job 15:2-3 NLT

Eliphaz is careful to keep God at the center of his argument, accusing Job of having no fear or reverence for the Lord. He wants to paint Job as an angry apostate whose very words condemn and convict him. The very fact that Job can so easily rail against the Almighty is ample proof that he is guilty as charged.

“Your sins are telling your mouth what to say.
    Your words are based on clever deception.
Your own mouth condemns you, not I.
    Your own lips testify against you.” – Job 15:5-6 NLT

But it becomes readily apparent that Eliphaz’s real point of contention is Job’s refusal to take his advice. This has become a personal matter.

“What do you know that we don’t?
    What do you understand that we do not?
On our side are aged, gray-haired men
    much older than your father!” – Job 15:9-10 NLT

Eliphaz pulls out the wisdom-is-the-purview-of-the-elderly card. Evidently, either he or one of his companions is older and, therefore, wiser. than Job. Or else he may be suggesting that he’s shared the facts surrounding Job’s case with other sages and received their endorsement of his conclusions. Either way, Eliphaz seems to believe that he has the upper hand in the debate over Job’s guilt or innocence.

He doesn’t believe that Job has some kind of special knowledge or direct access to God’s divine will. So, Job has no right to reject the counsel of his more learned and experienced peers. Eliphaz can’t understand the flippancy and callousness with which Job addresses God. How can this obvious sinner talk to God in the way that he does? As far as Eliphaz can tell, Job’s words provide all the proof necessary to reach a verdict of guilt.

“Is God’s comfort too little for you?
    Is his gentle word not enough?
What has taken away your reason?
    What has weakened your vision,
that you turn against God
    and say all these evil things?” – Job 15:11-13 NLT

Eliphaz is totally convinced of Job’s guilt and refuses to consider any other option. He views his friend as “a corrupt and sinful person with a thirst for wickedness” (Job 15:16 NLT), and nothing is going to change his mind.

But where is the compassion? Why can’t Eliphaz manage to muster up any empathy or sympathy for his suffering friend? In Proverbs 15:4, the words of Solomon seem to have been written with Eliphaz and his friends in mind.

Gentle words are a tree of life;
    a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

The Message puts it this way: Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

In one of his psalms, David described wicked people as those who “plot evil in their hearts and stir up trouble all day long. Their tongues sting like a snake; the venom of a viper drips from their lips” (Psalm 140:2-3 NLT). How is it that Job’s friends have become so caustic and condescending? Why have they chosen to dial up the rhetoric and intensify their attacks on Job’s integrity?

Eliphaz has transformed from a well-meaning friend to a full-fledged adversary. He is on the attack and seems frustrated at Job’s continued claims of innocence.

Eliphaz and his companions are now on a mission to convince Job of his guilt and they will stop at nothing to accomplish that objective. Any concern they may have had for Job’s feelings is long gone. This has gotten personal. They know they are right, which means Job is wrong. He just refuses to admit it. But they are not going to give up easily. They tell Job he is wicked, deceived, defiant, stubborn, and doomed if he doesn’t confess his guilt. They will even go so far as to blame the deaths of Job’s children on his sinfulness. They will attempt to soften their words by using farming metaphors (shriveled weeds, a vine whose grapes are harvested before they are ripe, an olive tree that sheds its blossoms so the fruit cannot form, etc.), but the pain hurts just as bad. Now Job not only has to mourn the loss of all his children, he must listen to accusations that he is the one responsible for their deaths.

What can we learn from this? What lessons are there in this passage for us? The simple one seems to be the destructive power of our tongues. We can use them to encourage and heal or to discourage and do lasting harm. Sometimes we may not mean to hurt others with our words, but when we fail to think before we speak, we can end up doing lasting damage. Job’s friends could have used the advice of James.

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. – James 1:19 NASB

They weren’t willing to listen to Job and they didn’t seem interested in what God might have to say about the situation. They had already reached their conclusion, and when Job refused to agree with their assessment, they became angry. And their anger led to even harsher words for their suffering friend.

These exchanges between Job and his friends remind me of the remarkable power contained in my own words. With them, I can bring about blessing or cursing. I can use them to build up or tear down. I can speak words of kindness and compassion, or I can speak words of criticism and accusation. Job needed true friends who cared more for his heart than for their need to be right. He needed compassion, not correction.

I am reminded of that famous passage from the pen of Solomon:

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLT

There’s a right time for everything, and the time was right for Job’s friends to shut up, listen up, and lift up. May each of us learn to know the difference.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Wisdom is a Rare Commodity These Days

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1 Then Job answered and said:

2 “No doubt you are the people,
    and wisdom will die with you.
3 But I have understanding as well as you;
    I am not inferior to you.
    Who does not know such things as these?
4 I am a laughingstock to my friends;
    I, who called to God and he answered me,
    a just and blameless man, am a laughingstock.
5 In the thought of one who is at ease there is contempt for misfortune;
    it is ready for those whose feet slip.
6 The tents of robbers are at peace,
    and those who provoke God are secure,
    who bring their god in their hand.

7 “But ask the beasts, and they will teach you;
    the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you;
8 or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you;
    and the fish of the sea will declare to you.
9 Who among all these does not know
    that the hand of the Lord has done this?
10 In his hand is the life of every living thing
    and the breath of all mankind.
11 Does not the ear test words
    as the palate tastes food?
12 Wisdom is with the aged,
    and understanding in length of days.

13 “With God are wisdom and might;
    he has counsel and understanding.
14 If he tears down, none can rebuild;
    if he shuts a man in, none can open.
15 If he withholds the waters, they dry up;
    if he sends them out, they overwhelm the land.
16 With him are strength and sound wisdom;
    the deceived and the deceiver are his.
17 He leads counselors away stripped,
    and judges he makes fools.
18 He looses the bonds of kings
    and binds a waistcloth on their hips.
19 He leads priests away stripped
    and overthrows the mighty.
20 He deprives of speech those who are trusted
    and takes away the discernment of the elders.
21 He pours contempt on princes
    and loosens the belt of the strong.
22 He uncovers the deeps out of darkness
    and brings deep darkness to light.
23 He makes nations great, and he destroys them;
    he enlarges nations, and leads them away.
24 He takes away understanding from the chiefs of the people of the earth
    and makes them wander in a trackless waste.
25 They grope in the dark without light,
    and he makes them stagger like a drunken man.” – Job 12:1-25 ESV

Job has just had to listen to a third “friend” share his unsympathetic assessment of his circumstances, and he can’t keep from responding. He probably knew his friends meant well, but he was in no mood to listen to more of these arm-chair quarterbacks as they pontificated about his plight.

For Job, the idea that God was somehow responsible for his condition was a no-brainer. Whether or not God was behind his difficult circumstances was not the issue. He firmly believed that God was in control and so, ultimately, God was responsible. God could have prevented the disasters and the disease that had impacted Job’s life, but He had chosen not to. Job fully understood the power and might of God. He knew that God was providentially in control over the affairs of all men – rich and poor, strong and weak, righteous and unrighteous. Job’s belief in the sovereignty of God was unshakeable.

“True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for. If he tears something down, it’s down for good; if he locks people up, they’re locked up for good. If he holds back the rain, there’s a drought; if he lets it loose, there’s a flood. Strength and success belong to God; both deceived and deceiver must answer to him.” – Job 12:13-15 MSG

So, Job knew that God alone could provide the answer as to why he was suffering, and he was fully convinced that it had nothing to do with his sin. Yet Job’s friends had reached a different conclusion. They kept blaming his condition on his sinfulness but couldn’t tell him exactly what he had done to deserve such harsh judgment from God.

Job was convinced of his own innocence and he was certain that God would have to agree. Which means there had to be another reason for his suffering. All he wanted was the chance to ask God face-to-face. So, he pushed back hard on Zophar’s counsel and sarcastically questioned his friends’ over-confident assertions regarding his guilt.

“You people really know everything, don’t you?
    And when you die, wisdom will die with you!
Well, I know a few things myself—
    and you’re no better than I am.
    Who doesn’t know these things you’ve been saying?” – Job 12:2-3 NLT

He wasn’t going to argue with their thoughts concerning God’s omnipotence and omniscience. It was their cocky assurance regarding his guilt that drove him crazy. They were actually mocking him for attempting to demand an explanation from God. From their perspective, God owed him nothing and he was wasting his breath and his time pleading for God to come to his defense. That day was never going to come. But that didn’t keep Job from declaring his frustration with God’s apparent disinterest in his plight. He saw the wicked receiving better treatment from God, while he was kept in the dark and denied a response to his pleas for acquittal and restoration.

“…robbers are left in peace,
    and those who provoke God live in safety—
    though God keeps them in his power.” – Job 12:6 NLT

All he was asking for was a fair shake. Even the animals, birds, and fish enjoyed were the unwitting and undeserving beneficiaries of God’s grace, so why was he denied the right to a response and the hope of a fair trial?

“…the life of every living thing is in his hand,
    and the breath of every human being.” – Job 12:10 NLT

As far as he could tell, the rest of nature seemed to get a fair shake from the Creator, while he was left to suffer in insufferable silence. Job was hoping for vindication, but was willing to settle for a little justification from God for his plight. Job didn’t think his friends were stupid, but he also didn’t think they had a monopoly on wisdom. That was the purview of God.

“Wisdom belongs to the aged,
    and understanding to the old.

“But true wisdom and power are found in God;
    counsel and understanding are his.” – Job 12:12-13 NLT

His friends could continue to regale him with all their earthly wit and wisdom but he wouldn’t be satisfied until he heard directly from the source of all wisdom: God Almighty. Compared to God, every other counselor is nothing but a hapless fool spouting man-made platitudes and helpless homilies.

“Yes, strength and wisdom are his;
    deceivers and deceived are both in his power.
He leads counselors away, stripped of good judgment;
    wise judges become fools.” – Job 12:16-17 NLT

From Job’s perspective, listening to his three friends was a royal waste of time because they were clueless as to what was really going on. They couldn’t provide any real insight into his circumstances because their point of view was hampered by their earth-bound perspectives. And Job warned them that God would ultimately expose them as frauds rather than faithful friends.

“He silences the trusted adviser
    and removes the insight of the elders.” – Job 12:20 NLT

When exposed to the penetrating light of God’s wisdom, their wonderful words of advice would whither like weeds in the hot midday sun. Job truly believed that he would one day be vindicated by God and his friends would learn just how wrong they had been.

“He strips kings of understanding
    and leaves them wandering in a pathless wasteland.
They grope in the darkness without a light.
    He makes them stagger like drunkards.” – Job 12:24-25 NLT

But Job maintained his confidence in the goodness of God, and expressed his firm belief that God’s light would eventually shine on his life again and make sense of all the madness.

“He uncovers mysteries hidden in darkness;
    he brings light to the deepest gloom.” – Job 12:22 NLT

But in the meantime, Job maintained his right to state his case before the Judge of the universe. All he was asking for was a fair trial. He was willing to accept whatever sentence God might mete out, but what he couldn’t take was God’s continued silence.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Suffering Need God, Not Guilt

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1 Then Zophar the Naamathite answered and said:

2 “Should a multitude of words go unanswered,
    and a man full of talk be judged right?
3 Should your babble silence men,
    and when you mock, shall no one shame you?
4 For you say, ‘My doctrine is pure,
    and I am clean in God’s eyes.’
5 But oh, that God would speak
    and open his lips to you,
6 and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom!
    For he is manifold in understanding.
Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves.

7 “Can you find out the deep things of God?
    Can you find out the limit of the Almighty?
8 It is higher than heaven—what can you do?
    Deeper than Sheol—what can you know?
9 Its measure is longer than the earth
    and broader than the sea.
10 If he passes through and imprisons
    and summons the court, who can turn him back?
11 For he knows worthless men;
    when he sees iniquity, will he not consider it?
12 But a stupid man will get understanding
    when a wild donkey’s colt is born a man!

13 “If you prepare your heart,
    you will stretch out your hands toward him.
14 If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away,
    and let not injustice dwell in your tents.
15 Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish;
    you will be secure and will not fear.
16 You will forget your misery;
    you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
17 And your life will be brighter than the noonday;
    its darkness will be like the morning.
18 And you will feel secure, because there is hope;
    you will look around and take your rest in security.
19 You will lie down, and none will make you afraid;
    many will court your favor.
20 But the eyes of the wicked will fail;
    all way of escape will be lost to them,
    and their hope is to breathe their last.” – Job 11:1-22 ESV

After Job finished his gloomy response to Bildad’s less-than-encouraging speech, he had to hear from the third friend who had been waiting in the wings and eagerly biding his time until he could put in his two cents. And Zophar wasted no time in delivering a stinging indictment against Job, filled with carefully worded one-liners that he hoped would shake his friend out of his self-righteous self-denial and force him to confess his obvious guilt.

Zophar, like his friends before him, had taken a look at Job’s circumstances and concluded that Job had done something terribly wrong. He was being punished by God for his sins and all Job had to do was confess and change his behavior. According to Zophar, if Job follows his advice, God will forgive and restore him.

Sounds great, but there’s only one problem. Job is innocent. He has done nothing wrong to deserve all that has happened to him. He has done nothing of which to repent. He is confused, hurt, alone, and suffering from unimaginable grief. And all he gets from his friends is accusations of his guilt.

Zophar takes the rhetoric to a whole new level, accusing Job of being deceitful, evil, and witless.

“Surely he [God] recognizes deceitful men; and when he sees evil, does he not take note? But a witless man can no more become wise than a wild donkey’s colt can be born a man.” – Job 11:11-12 NIV

In Zophar’s mind, Job is nothing more than a dimwitted, stubborn sinner who refuses to admit his guilt. In Zophar’s world, all pain and suffering were tied to sin. Righteous men don’t suffer. Good men don’t lose all their worldly wealth. Sinless men don’t have all their kids killed in a single freak accident. Therefore, Job was NOT a righteous man. Case closed.

But once again, Zophar didn’t have all the facts. He was operating off of conjecture and faulty conclusions. The one thing he should have known or at least assumed is that God is in control. But the issue was not whether God had caused what had happened to Job; it was that God was aware and that He cared. Zophar would have been much more helpful if he had simply reminded Job that only God knew the real reason behind his suffering. He should have counseled Job to take his situation to God because only He could provide answers and assistance. The simple truth is that if Job had sinned, God would reveal it to him. If Job was innocent, God would ultimately disclose the reason behind his suffering. Bottom line? There was a purpose behind it all, and God was the key to discovering that purpose.

But instead, Zophar continued to berate and belittle his friend, accusing him of mocking God with his false claims of innocence. Zophar was completely convinced that Job was an unabashed liar who refused to acknowledge his obvious guilt. And he is so self-assured in his assessment that he has the audacity to tell Job, “Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve!” (Job 11:6 NLT). His analysis of the situation has produced an iron-clad guilty verdict.

Zophar had reached what to him was a logical conclusion. God was all-wise and could see into the lives of all men. There was nothing hidden from His sight. While Job’s life had given the outward appearance of righteousness, it must have contained hidden secrets of which only God was aware. Now God was exposing Job’s sins by inflicting judgment.

“If God comes and puts a person in prison
    or calls the court to order, who can stop him?
11 For he knows those who are false,
    and he takes note of all their sins.” – Job 11:10-11 NLT

Convinced that his conclusion was the right one, all Zophar could recommend was repentance.

“If only you would prepare your heart
    and lift up your hands to him in prayer!
Get rid of your sins,
    and leave all iniquity behind you.” – Job 11:13 NLT

But Zophar couldn’t see into Job’s heart. He had no way of knowing what Job had done or said that might have led to his fall from grace. In fact, he had no proof whatsoever that Job had done anything worthy of God’s judgment. Yet, on nothing more than flimsy facts and faulty conclusions, he labeled his friend as a babbler and an empty-headed person. When Job needed love, Zophar delivered demeaning labels and callous calls to repent or suffer further judgment from the hand of God.

But despite all his pain, Job knew that God was there. He called out to Him. He appealed to Him. He acknowledged that God had created him (Job 10:8-9). But Job was confused. He clung to his innocence but was having a hard time understanding why he was having to endure all this pain. He was going through a terrible time of questioning and doubt. He needed comfort and all he got was caustic counseling from those who claimed to be his friends. He needed empathy but all he got was impatient demands that he confess his hidden sins.

Job’s suffering was so intense that he longed for death. At this point in his life, he needed friends who would point him to the mercy, grace, and sovereign power of God. He needed guides to God, not the grand inquisition. He needed to be reminded that God loves him, not loathes him. The only remedy for anyone’s pain and heartache is God. We need to point them to Him.

When darkness falls
Temptations call
And all around me seems undone
You hear my pleas
Supply my needs
And tell me of Your wondrous love

You are the joy in my morning
You’re my song of praise
Just like the new day dawning
Flooding my world with grace

Though trials come
And every one
Can take me further from Your truth
You calm my fears
Dry all my tears
And draw me closer, Lord, to You

In You there’s no shadow of turning
Constant in all Your ways
You’re growing my faith
And I’m learning to lean
On You all of my days

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Ministries

Reading the words of Zophar reminds me that I need to be a friend who points others to God, instead of always trying to point out their faults or their sins. He alone knows their hearts, and only He can diagnose their condition and heal their hurts. I am simply a guide who can point them to God as they wander in the darkness of their circumstance.

The other lesson to be learned from this passage is to take my pain and suffering to God. In the midst of the pain that enters my own life, I should always turn to Him first. And when I find that difficult to do, I pray that God will bring friends into my life who will remind me of His love, grace, and mercy.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Good advice, well-timed, produces the best outcomes

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14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
15 My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed,
    as torrential streams that pass away,
16 which are dark with ice,
    and where the snow hides itself.
17 When they melt, they disappear;
    when it is hot, they vanish from their place.
18 The caravans turn aside from their course;
    they go up into the waste and perish.
19 The caravans of Tema look,
    the travelers of Sheba hope.
20 They are ashamed because they were confident;
    they come there and are disappointed.
21 For you have now become nothing;
    you see my calamity and are afraid.
22 Have I said, ‘Make me a gift’?
    Or, ‘From your wealth offer a bribe for me’?
23 Or, ‘Deliver me from the adversary’s hand’?
    Or, ‘Redeem me from the hand of the ruthless’?

24 “Teach me, and I will be silent;
    make me understand how I have gone astray.
25 How forceful are upright words!
    But what does reproof from you reprove?
26 Do you think that you can reprove words,
    when the speech of a despairing man is wind?
27 You would even cast lots over the fatherless,
    and bargain over your friend.

28 “But now, be pleased to look at me,
    for I will not lie to your face.
29 Please turn; let no injustice be done.
    Turn now; my vindication is at stake.
30 Is there any injustice on my tongue?
    Cannot my palate discern the cause of calamity?” – Job 6:14-30 ESV

Job now turns his attention directly to Eliphaz and his as-yet silent companions. Their words have been anything but helpful or encouraging. At Job’s darkest moment in life, these men have shown up and made matters worse with their compassionless and self-righteous rhetoric. Job even accuses them of “withholding kindness” and demonstrating a total lack of fear or reverence for God. They are so confident in their assertion of Job’s guilt that they don’t even consider what God might have to say if they’re wrong.

When Job needed loyalty and moral support from his friends he got what he deemed to be treachery. The Hebrew word is בָּגַד (bāḡaḏ) and it conveys the idea of unfaithfulness or dealing with someone deceitfully. Job compares his friends to “a seasonal brook that overflows its banks in the spring when it is swollen with ice and melting snow. But when the hot weather arrives, the water disappears. The brook vanishes in the heat” (Job 6:15-17 NLT). In other words, they are unpredictable and unreliable. They show up at inopportune times, bringing destruction rather than comfort, and when they are needed for refreshment, they are dry as a bone. 

His friends have been an utter disappointment, bringing no hope or healing with their presence or words. In fact, Job finds them to be more fearful than faithful. By casting all the blame on Job and writing off his suffering as the sovereign hand of God, they seem to be trying to excuse themselves from providing him with any kind of financial aid or assistance. If they can rationalize his losses as divine judgment, they can declare themselves to be free from having to help him. Job seems to see through their self-centered analysis of the situation when he asks, “Have I ever asked you for a gift? Have I begged for anything of yours for myself? Have I asked you to rescue me from my enemies, or to save me from ruthless people?” (Job 6:22-23 NLT).

These men knew that Job was in dire straights financially. He had lost all his flocks and herds, leaving him with no means of making a living. And the funeral expenses for his ten deceased children must have taken a hit on his resources as well. But Job has not asked them for assistance. At no point has he requested that they lend him money or come to his aid with anything other than moral support. Job had not requested their presence; they had shown up of their own accord. But their arrival on the scene had only made matters worse.

So, in frustration, Job invites them to state their case plainly. He wants facts and not just flimsy accusations of guilt. He demands that they prove whatever crime they think he has committed. If they are going to put him on trial, he wants them to bring clear and compelling evidence. He assures them that he is willing to listen to what they have to say and will accept their conclusions, even if their verdict is painful to hear.

But Job writes off their words as nothing more than criticism. They have no evidence of wrongdoing because there is none. And while their lengthy diatribes may inflate their own ego, they do nothing to aid Job in his moment of need. In their desperate attempt to explain Job’s desperate circumstances, they have completely overlooked his desperation. They have shown a stunning lack of compassion and empathy.

Job begs his friends to give him the benefit of the doubt. All he asks for is an opportunity to state his case and defend his integrity, and he fully expects those who claim to be his friends to consider him innocent until proven guilty – not the other way around. But Eliphaz has set the precedent. His rush to judgment has unsettled Job and left him hurt and harboring anger and, sadly, it will encourage Job’s other friends to follow suit. Soon, they will join in the dog pile and add to the burden that Job has to bear. Instead of comfort, they will continue to criticize and critique. In the place of much-needed encouragement, they will divvy out large doses of blame and shame. And, over time, Job’s resentment will grow, and his feelings of isolation will increase to the point where he finds himself lashing out in anger, not only at his friends but at God.

What a timely reminder of the need for grace and mercy when dealing with those who are suffering. Eliphaz and his compatriots could have used the wisdom of Solomon.

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. – Proverbs 25:11-12 NLT

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! – Proverbs 15:23 NLT

Job’s friends had shown up at just the right time but were sharing all the wrong advice. They failed to read the room and properly gauge the mental state of their audience. They may have meant well but their methods were far from helpful. And Job was far from done when it came to his response.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Good Friends Give Bad Advice

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1 “Call now; is there anyone who will answer you?
    To which of the holy ones will you turn?
2 Surely vexation kills the fool,
    and jealousy slays the simple.
3 I have seen the fool taking root,
    but suddenly I cursed his dwelling.
4 His children are far from safety;
    they are crushed in the gate,
    and there is no one to deliver them.
5 The hungry eat his harvest,
    and he takes it even out of thorns,
    and the thirsty pant after his wealth.
6 For affliction does not come from the dust,
    nor does trouble sprout from the ground,
7 but man is born to trouble
    as the sparks fly upward.

8 “As for me, I would seek God,
    and to God would I commit my cause,
9 who does great things and unsearchable,
    marvelous things without number:
10 he gives rain on the earth
    and sends waters on the fields;
11 he sets on high those who are lowly,
    and those who mourn are lifted to safety.
12 He frustrates the devices of the crafty,
    so that their hands achieve no success.
13 He catches the wise in their own craftiness,
    and the schemes of the wily are brought to a quick end.
14 They meet with darkness in the daytime
    and grope at noonday as in the night.
15 But he saves the needy from the sword of their mouth
    and from the hand of the mighty.
16 So the poor have hope,
    and injustice shuts her mouth.” – Job 5:1-16 ESV

Assumptions can be dangerous things, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. And while Eliphaz thought he was doing his beleaguered friend a service, his lengthy and unsolicited counseling session was based solely on his own opinion about Job’s plight. From his theological vantage point, it appeared as if Job had done something to anger God. There could be no other explanation. After all, Job had been blessed beyond belief, a sure sign of God’s favor. He had a large family and his adult children had done well with their lives. Job had also built a prosperous agricultural operation that made him “the richest person in that entire area” (Job 1:3 NLT). And then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Job had lost it all, including his health.

Like a forensic investigator, Eliphaz examined the evidence and came to the conclusion that his friend had committed some highly egregious sin that resulted in God’s judgment. In his attempt to explain Job’s horrific downfall, Eliphaz concluded that there must have been some heinous transgression hidden in his past. Job’s sins had caught up with him.

Eliphaz is so convinced that his assumptions are correct that he challenges Job to call on the “holy ones” to come to his defense. In a casebook display of insensitivity, Eliphaz questions his friend’s innocence and callously claims that even the angels would fail to listen to his cries or come to his aid. They would refuse to act as witnesses on his behalf or plead his case to God.

In one of the most blatant displays of over-confident self-righteousness, Eliphaz boldly asserts that Job is a fool.

“Surely resentment destroys the fool,
    and jealousy kills the simple.
I have seen that fools may be successful for the moment,
    but then comes sudden disaster.” – Job 5:2-3 NLT

Eliphaz has the audacity to claim that the fate of Job’s children was his own fault.

“Their children are abandoned far from help;
    they are crushed in court with no one to defend them.” – Job 5:4 NLT

Eliphaz’s assertions are far from subtle and anything but encouraging. He lobs his so-called truth bombs like hand grenades, showing no regard for Job’s feelings and demonstrating no awareness that his assumptions might be wrong. He had reached his conclusions and there was no turning back. But Eliphaz’s rush to judgment was both unwise and unwarranted. There were things he didn’t know. There were details about Job’s story of which he was ignorant and uninformed. Yet, he felt confident enough to declare his friend guilty and to label him a fool.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus addressed the issue of murder as it relates to the Mosaic Law.

“You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders will be subjected to judgment.’ But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment. And whoever insults a brother will be brought before the council, and whoever says ‘Fool’ will be sent to fiery hell.” – Matthew 5:21-22 NET

He rightly declared that the Law prescribed judgment for the act of murder. But then He added an interesting addendum, declaring that anger itself was tantamount to committing murder. Hatred was the breeding ground from which murder sprang forth.

Then He took His interpretation of the Law one step further by stating that to insult someone was also an act worthy of judgment. Jesus uses the word “raca,” a term that was derived from the Aramaic word reqa. It was an insult that is best translated as “empty-headed” and was used to refer to someone’s stupidity or mental inferiority. It was a highly derogatory expression and Jesus warns that its use to devalue another human being was deserving of the severest punishment of the Law. And then He adds one more eye-opening insight into the true meaning behind the command, “You shall not kill.”

“…whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” – Matthew 5:22b ESV

According to Jesus, Eliphaz was walking on thin ice. He had taken it upon himself to act as Job’s judge and render a guilty verdict – all without input or approval from God.

Eliphaz’s arrogance is truly mind-boggling. He’s so confident in his assertions that he talks to his friend like he’s a child, reminding him that evil doesn’t just happen; it has a source.

“…evil does not spring from the soil,
    and trouble does not sprout from the earth.
People are born for trouble
    as readily as sparks fly up from a fire.” – Job 5:6-7 NLT

Eliphaz not only has an explanation for Job’s sorry state but he also has a solution.

“If I were you, I would go to God
    and present my case to him.
He does great things too marvelous to understand.
    He performs countless miracles.” – Job 5:8-9 NLT

But this advice reeks of sarcasm. It is almost as if Eliphaz knows that Job is going to deny his guilt and declare his innocence. So, he challenges Job to present his case to Yahweh. What appears to be a sincere recommendation that Job turn to God for help is really a thinly veiled and sarcasm-laced statement of Job’s guilt. Eliphaz isn’t hiding his belief that Job has brought all of this on himself. He even warns Job that God ”frustrates the plans of schemers so the work of their hands will not succeed. He traps the wise in their own cleverness so their cunning schemes are thwarted” (Job 5:12-13 NLT).

Eliphaz told Job that he was more than welcome to take bring his case before God, but he would find Yahweh to be anything but accommodating or forgiving. In Eliphaz’s mind, Job was nothing more than a clever schemer who had fooled everyone but God with his convincing holier-than-thou lifestyle.

Eliphaz seems to have reached the conclusion that Job had somehow used his wealth and power to take advantage of the poor, so he warned his friend that God “rescues the poor from the cutting words of the strong, and rescues them from the clutches of the powerful” (Job 5:15 NLT). This was a bold and highly condemning assertion on Eliphaz’s part; one that was based solely on conjecture and had no basis in reality.

When reading the words of Eliphaz, it’s important to consider how they stand in stark contrast to God’s assessment of Job.

“Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” – Job 2:3 ESV

Eliphaz had already assumed Job’s guilt, solely based on circumstantial evidence. But there was so much he didn’t know and couldn’t see. He was blind to the spiritual battle taking place behind the scenes. He was incapable of seeing into the inner recesses of Job’s heart but had been more than willing to declare his friend a fool and a scheming con man who had enriched himself on the backs of the poor and needy. But he was wrong. Yet, he was far from finished. Eliphaz was neither lacking in confidence nor words, and he had a lot more to say to his involuntary counselee.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

When Well-Intended Words Become a Weapon

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1 Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said:

2 “If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient?
    Yet who can keep from speaking?
3 Behold, you have instructed many,
    and you have strengthened the weak hands.
4 Your words have upheld him who was stumbling,
    and you have made firm the feeble knees.
5 But now it has come to you, and you are impatient;
    it touches you, and you are dismayed.
6 Is not your fear of God your confidence,
    and the integrity of your ways your hope?

7 “Remember: who that was innocent ever perished?
    Or where were the upright cut off?
8 As I have seen, those who plow iniquity
    and sow trouble reap the same.
9 By the breath of God they perish,
    and by the blast of his anger they are consumed.
10 The roar of the lion, the voice of the fierce lion,
    the teeth of the young lions are broken.
11 The strong lion perishes for lack of prey,
    and the cubs of the lioness are scattered.”

12 “Now a word was brought to me stealthily;
    my ear received the whisper of it.
13 Amid thoughts from visions of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on men,
14 dread came upon me, and trembling,
    which made all my bones shake.
15 A spirit glided past my face;
    the hair of my flesh stood up.
16 It stood still,
    but I could not discern its appearance.
A form was before my eyes;
    there was silence, then I heard a voice:
17 ‘Can mortal man be in the right before God?
    Can a man be pure before his Maker?
18 Even in his servants he puts no trust,
    and his angels he charges with error;
19 how much more those who dwell in houses of clay,
    whose foundation is in the dust,
    who are crushed like the moth.
20 Between morning and evening they are beaten to pieces;
    they perish forever without anyone regarding it.
21 Is not their tent-cord plucked up within them,
    do they not die, and that without wisdom?’” – Job 4:1-21 ESV

We all have them – well-meaning friends who step alongside us during times of difficulty and seasons of suffering spouting sanctimonious sermonettes on our condition. They’re the Scripture police who tend to quote passages they don’t fully understand and draw conclusions based on scant information and little or no experience. These people don’t intend to hurt anyone, but in their zeal to “encourage,” they do more harm than good.

Job’s friend, Eliphaz, was one of these types of individuals. In the midst of all of Job’s grief and suffering, he shows up on the scene lobbing all kinds of theological and psychological hand grenades into Job’s pity party. He has taken one look at Job’s circumstances and reached a conclusion: Job is guilty of something. He has to be.

But Eliphaz prefaces his verbal barrage on his suffering friend with what appears to be a kind and gracious request to share his thoughts. He and his companions have completed a seven-day-long wake, where they sat by Job’s side as he mourned the deaths of his ten children and the loss of his entire economic empire. They sat in silence as their devastated friend attempted to heal from his deep emotional wounds while suffering from a debilitating and painful skin disease.

In time, Eliphaz grew impatient and decided it was time to speak. He had seen enough and was ready to help his friend come to grips with the real source of Job’s problems. Knowing that Job is in no mood to hear what he has to say, Eliphaz begs his friend to show patience as he shares his enlightened insights. Then, in a somewhat heavy-handed attempt to gain Job’s ear, Eliphaz flatters his suffering friend by recalling how Job had so often played the role of comforting counselor in the lives of others.

“In the past you have encouraged many people;
    you have strengthened those who were weak.
Your words have supported those who were falling;
    you encouraged those with shaky knees.” – Job 4:3-4 NLT

In a sense, Eliphaz is saying, “I’m only doing what you would do if the shoe was on the other foot.” Eliphaz is trying to prepare Job for the “truth bomb” he is about to drop. In the lengthy speech he has prepared, Eliphaz is going to share some things that Job is not going to want to hear. Eliphaz knows his words are going to be painful and difficult to accept but they need to be said, and he challenges Job to accept them like a man.

He levels an accusation of duplicity, suggesting that Job has always been quick to hand out advice to his suffering friends but now that he is the one doing the suffering, he crumples like a house of cards.

“But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart.
    You are terrified when it touches you.” – Job 4:5 NLT

These words seem to echo the sentiments found in the Book of Proverbs.

An open rebuke
    is better than hidden love!

Wounds from a sincere friend
    are better than many kisses from an enemy. – Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense. – Proverbs 27:9 NLT

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

But friendship isn’t necessarily a guarantee of wise counsel. Well-intentioned friends can end up giving poor advice and questionable counsel. A close and intimate relationship doesn’t automatically qualify someone to serve as an infallible source of wisdom. Eliphaz meant well, and much of what he had to say contained a semblance of truth, but there was a great deal about Job’s situation to which he was ignorant.

From his limited vantage point, Eliphaz had come to certain conclusions regarding Job’s circumstances. From the outside looking in, he assessed the scene and determined the cause of Job’s suffering, and he validated his conclusions by spiritualizing them. He claims to have had a vision in the night.

“This truth was given to me in secret,
    as though whispered in my ear.
It came to me in a disturbing vision at night,
    when people are in a deep sleep.
Fear gripped me,
    and my bones trembled.
A spirit swept past my face,
    and my hair stood on end.
The spirit stopped, but I couldn’t see its shape.
    There was a form before my eyes.
In the silence I heard a voice…” – Job 4:12-16 NLT

Eliphaz doesn’t attribute this vision to Yahweh. He never claims to have received a word from God Almighty. He simply saw “a form” that whispered a cryptic message in his ear.

“Can a mortal be innocent before God?
    Can anyone be pure before the Creator?” – Job 4:17 NLT

Eliphaz heard a voice but he could not name its source. He had a vision but he had no way of knowing who this “spirit” was or whether the message was God-ordained. From his ethereal night encounter, Eliphaz built an entire case against Job. He wrongly concluded that Job must be guilty of something. Otherwise, why would he be suffering so much loss and pain?

In the second half of his speech, he draws the following conclusion:

“…evil does not spring from the soil, and trouble does not sprout from the earth. People are born for trouble as predictably as sparks fly upward from a fire.” – Job 5:6-7 NLT

Bad things don’t just happen. They’re the result of bad choices made by individuals. In other words, you reap what you sow. And Job must have sown some really wild oats at some point in his past. Eliphaz admits that Job was a pretty good guy. He had been an encouragement to a lot of people over the years. He had been a source of comfort and strength to others when they needed him. He had always been there with a kind word and a listening ear. But he must have done something to deserve this bizarre turn of affairs. These things don’t just happen.

The problem with Eliphaz’s speech is that it contains a modicum of truth. He has a lot of good things to say but he suffers from bad timing and a lousy understanding of reality. He speaks of things he doesn’t know. He makes assumptions about things he doesn’t understand. He is judging based on the circumstances, but can’t see what God sees. He can’t even see God working behind the scenes. And isn’t that how we all approach the presence of trials and troubles in our lives?

We draw conclusions. We make assumptions. And we pass out words of wisdom like they were so much Valentine’s candy. We mix a touch of biblical truth with a little bit of home-spun wisdom and then baste our friends with this toxic marinade of self-righteous piety. Eliphaz was dispensing truth like a doctor handing out prescriptions for a condition he had yet to diagnose; a process that will render perfectly safe drugs potentially deadly. We do that when we reach hasty conclusions about the spiritual condition of others based on circumstances alone. It reminds me of the story in the Gospel of John. Jesus is walking with His disciples and they encounter a man blind from birth. His disciples reveal a lot about their theology when they ask Jesus, “Teacher, why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?” (John 9:2 NLT). To their surprise, Jesus responded, “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins, he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him” (John 9:3 NLT).

The truth is, we don’t know what God is doing behind the scenes. We don’t know why certain situations are as they are, and if we’re not careful, like Eliphaz we can hastily draw wrong conclusions and hand out poor advice. When Job needed comfort, he got unnecessary conviction. When he needed a listening ear, he got a lecture. Was a lot of what was said true? You bet. But it was misapplied and mistakenly meted out. In his commentary on the book of Job, John Gill says this about Eliphaz’s little speech:

“and he ‘said’ not anything by way of condolence or consolation, not pitying Job’s case, nor comforting him in his afflicted circumstances, as they required both; but reproaching him as a wicked and hypocritical man, not acting like himself formerly, or according to his profession and principles, but just the reverse: this was a new trial to Job, and some think the sorest of all; it was as a sword in his bones, which was very cutting to him; as oil cast into a fiery furnace in which he now was, which increased the force and fury of it; and as to vinegar an opened and bleeding wound, which makes it smart the more.” – John Gill, Exposition on the Entire Bible, the Book of Job

A big part of ministering to others is learning to listen well. Sometimes the greatest form of comfort is silence. But if you’re going to say anything at all, maybe we could take notes from the words of Isaiah.

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you. – Isaiah 35:4-5 NIV

Strengthen, steady, encourage, and point them to God. Lift them up, don’t tear them down.

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.

To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.

Trustworthy messengers refresh like snow in summer.
    They revive the spirit of their employer. – Proverbs 25:11-13 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 

Words of Wisdom

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14 Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,
    rising early in the morning,
    will be counted as cursing.
15 A continual dripping on a rainy day
    and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
16 to restrain her is to restrain the wind
    or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.
17 Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another.
18 Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit,
    and he who guards his master will be honored.
19 As in water face reflects face,
    so the heart of man reflects the man.
20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied,
    and never satisfied are the eyes of man.
21 The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,
    and a man is tested by his praise.
22 Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle
    along with crushed grain,
    yet his folly will not depart from him.

23 Know well the condition of your flocks,
    and give attention to your herds,
24 for riches do not last forever;
    and does a crown endure to all generations?
25 When the grass is gone and the new growth appears
    and the vegetation of the mountains is gathered,
26 the lambs will provide your clothing,
    and the goats the price of a field.
27 There will be enough goats’ milk for your food,
    for the food of your household
    and maintenance for your girls. – Proverbs 27:14-27 ESV

Words matter because they provide a great barometer for measuring the condition of a man’s heart. They are the outward manifestation of one’s inner spiritual state and serve as powerful indicators of heart health.  Jesus put it this way:

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” – Luke 6:45 NLT

And the apostle James echoed the words of Jesus but added his own description of just how dangerous and deadly the tongue can be.

…but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be! Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? – James 3:8-11 BSB

So, it is no wonder that Solomon’s collection of wise sayings has a great deal to say about the tongue and the vital role it plays in all our human interactions. It seems that the tongue has an almost unique capacity to cause joy or pain. With the tongue, we can lift a person up or tear them down. We can compliment or we can complain. We can use it to do good or a great deal of damage. And only a wise person knows how to wield the tongue correctly. When it comes to the tongue, timing is everything. The right thing said at the wrong time can end up producing a bad outcome.

A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning
    will be taken as a curse! – Proverbs 27:14 NLT

Knowing what to say and when to say it is vital if one wants their speech to be effective.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. – Proverbs 25:11 ESV

It takes godly wisdom to know when to speak up and when to shut up. And it requires discernment to know when you’ve said too much.

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying
    as constant dripping on a rainy day.
Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind
    or trying to hold something with greased hands. – Proverbs 27:15-16 NLT

There may be ample reasons for a wife to complain about her husband’s behavior. She may have every right to express her dissatisfaction with his treatment of her, but this proverb describes a woman who persistently and unrelentingly nags her husband. Her words have become caustic and unproductive. Rather than changing her husband’s behavior, she ends up driving him away. But Proverbs 31 describes a very different kind of woman who uses her wisdom and her speech to produce a very different outcome.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness. – Proverbs 31:25-26 NLT

The tongue can be a helpful resource for lifting up and encouraging others. For a person with wisdom, it can be a powerful tool for transforming the lives of friends and enemies alike.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17 NLT

Praise is a powerful commodity but it should be used wisely and sparingly. Too much praise can produce pride. Too little praise can result in resentment and bitterness. Everyone needs to hear words of praise on occasion, but when it is given it must be sincere and well-deserved. False praise is nothing more than lying. Praising someone who has an addiction to praise can be destructive. Failing to praise someone who is deserving of praise is ultimately selfish and like stealing what is rightfully theirs.

The writer of Proverbs 27 knows the power of praise and warns us about it.

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
    but a person is tested by being praised. – Proverbs 27:21 NLT

Like fire, praise can do much good, but it can also be dangerous if treated flippantly or foolishly. He warns us against self-praise, which is basically bragging. Nobody likes to be around a braggart, yet we’re all guilty of it at times. We want others to know our accomplishments and to be impressed with our exploits. Self-praise can be as simple as hanging all your diplomas on the wall of your office for everyone to see. If it is meant to impress, it is self-praise, and self-praise is never attractive.

Self-praise can be as innocent as fishing for compliments by chumming the water with stories of your good deeds. It is manipulative and unattractive to watch. We are warned, “Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth – a stranger, not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2 NLT).

One of the hard realities of life is that the lack of praise we experience may be the result of us having done nothing praise-worthy. But it could also be that any praises we receive are meant for the ears of others. Those praising us may be telling our boss or supervisor. They may be praising us to their friends. We may not hear it, but we benefit from their praise just the same. If we HAVE to hear praise to benefit from it, our motivation needs to be questioned.

How we receive praise reveals much about us. “A person is tested by being praised” (Proverbs 27:21b NLT). In other words, if praise tends to make us proud and puffed up, it is exposing a heart problem. It is showing us that we have a character flaw. We crave praise. We are addicted to praise. We are motivated by praise.

If we don’t receive it, we lose our motivation. We become like an actor who loses his love of acting because he fails to receive the applause he thinks he so richly deserves. At that point, he is acting for the applause, not because he loves to act. If we require the praise of others to make us do what God requires of us, we are doing it for the wrong reason. Doing good deeds in exchange for praise turns our efforts into nothing more than a job. It becomes little more than energy expended in exchange for payment. But we are to do good deeds out of the motivation to honor God. Our efforts are for His praise and glory, not our own. Any praise we receive is an extra-added bonus. It is to be like a sacrifice. Those who brought sacrifices to God did not receive applause from the crowd standing around them. Their effort was what was expected of them as servants of God.

But praise is not a sin. It is a vital part of doing life together as human beings. The key is that praise is something to be given and not sought. It is like a commodity we have that is to be shared with others, sparingly and wisely. Too much praise, like too much honey, can make the other person sick. When it comes to praise, you can have too much of a good thing. And man’s love for praise can become insatiable.

Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied,
    so human desire is never satisfied. – Proverbs 27:20 NLT

Praising a child for anything and everything can end up making them proud, arrogant, and addicted to praise. When they grow up and don’t receive it, they will become angry, resentful, and begin to question their own self-worth. Too little praise can be destructive as well. Withholding praise is nothing short of cruel. It is like refusing to pay an employee for a job well done. But for some of us, words of praise are difficult to produce. Maybe it’s because we failed to hear them as children. We are unaccustomed to hearing words of praise. But words of encouragement can be a gift we give to those in need. They can be like water to a thirsty man – refreshing, reinvigorating, and re-energizing. It takes wisdom to know how to use praise effectively. False praise is disingenuous and deceitful. It’s nothing short of flattery designed to benefit the one giving it. False praise is ultimately self-centered.

Praise is powerful. It has the potential for doing harm and good. So, it is to be used wisely and carefully. It is not something to be sought, but to be given. The praises of men should never be our motivation. Seeking to please God is what should drive us, inspire us, and motivate us. The praises of men, when given, are to be received humbly, gratefully, and with an understanding that the one who really deserves credit for them is God.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.