encouraging words

Words Cut Like A Knife.

“Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” – Proverbs 12:18 NLT

For years I have joked that I have the spiritual gift of sarcasm. Yes, it’s a lame joke and really bad theology. But I don’t mean any harm by it. It’s just a silly way of admitting that I sometimes struggle with sarcasm and would love to find a way to justify its existence in my life. I have often thought that the apostle Paul had the same gift, but he also had wisdom and tact. If he used sarcasm at all, it was always in an attempt to convey truth and bring about heart change in the people to whom he was speaking. The verse above juxtaposes the cutting, sarcastic words of some with the healing words of the wise person. They are cutting because they’re thoughtless. They are spoken rashly and recklessly, without any consideration as to their ultimate impact. The use of sarcasm is rarely, if ever, for constructive purposes. It is meant to tear down, not build up. While it may be disguised as humor, it is usually tainted with a hint of animosity. But the words of the wise are used for healing. They are intended to build up, restore, refresh and encourage. This does not mean that the wise person never says anything that is difficult to hear or hard to accept. In the very next verse, we read, “Truthful words stand the test of time.” The key is “truthful.” We must speak truth to one another, lovingly and boldly. Speaking the truth can sometimes be painful. Words that heal can be words that expose sin, refute lies, demand change, and confront hypocrisy in our lives. Our goal is healing. Our intentions are for good, not evil. We are not attempting to tear someone else down in order to build ourselves up.

What do wise words look like?
1. They’re timely
Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! – Proverbs 15:23 NLT

Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket. – Proverbs 25:11 NLT

2. They’re encouraging and enjoyable
Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. – Proverbs 16:24 NLT

The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive. – Proverbs 16:21 NLT

Gentle words are a tree of life… – Proverbs 15:4 NLT

3. They find the good in others
Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth – a stranger, not your own lips. – Proverbs 27:2 NLT

It’s not good to eat too much honey, and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself. – Proverbs 25:27 NLT

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. – Philippians 2:3-4 NLT

4. They’re sometimes reproving
To one who listens, valid criticism is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. – Proverbs 25:12 NLT

In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery. – Proverbs 28:23 NLT

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live…Get rid of all bitterness, anger, harsh words, and rage, slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:29-32 NLT

Father, our words carry a lot of weight and can make a huge impact on the lives of others. Help me to listen more and talk less. Give me the wisdom to think before I speak and when I do speak, to consider my words carefully. Amen.

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Actions Speak Louder Than Words.

“Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.” – Proverbs 25:20 NLT

I love this verse. There’s something a bit sarcastic and humorous about it that just brings a smile to my face. I think a big part of what I like about it is that it is so true. When we’re down or going through a difficult time, there’s nothing worse than that person who walks into the room with a big smile on their face and a mission to motivate us like a cheerleader with a set of pom-poms. There are times when silence is golden and saying nothing really is the best policy. There is nothing wrong with a little positive motivation, but timing is so important, and empathy is even more critical. It is difficult to receive the upbeat cheers of an individual who you believe has no clue what you’re going through. And if we’re honest, many of us can be guilty of trying to cheer someone up before we even understand why they’re down to begin with.

Think about the analogy used in this verse. Singing cheerful songs to a despondent person is like taking their coat away from them on a cold winter’s day. It is robbing them of the one thing in which they are finding comfort and consolation. Trying to motivate someone into a sense of joy when they are going through difficulty is callously robbing them of their only source of comfort at that moment. They are down for a reason, and sometimes there is a sense in which our despondency is a source of solace to us. Singing happy songs does not make the problem go away, no more than taking away someone’s coat on a winter’s day makes the cold go away. They are wearing a coat for a reason. It’s cold. They have a heavy heart for a reason. Do we take the time to find out what that reason is? To not do so is like pouring vinegar in a wound. It will burn and sting, but prove to be of no value. There is no medicinal value in vinegar. It is not healing or helpful, only painful.

So what’s the point? I think Solomon is telling us that we need to be sensitive to the needs of those to whom we are attempting to minister. Take the time to discover the source of their pain and heartache, don’t just try to alleviate it. Taking their coat doesn’t get rid of the cold. Getting them to sing happy songs doesn’t get rid of their sorrow. Empathy requires time and effort. We have to slow down long enough to understand what is going on. Sometimes we just need to stop singing and start listening. Stop cheering and begin hearing what they have to say. There is a time when words of cheer are appropriate. “Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy to the body” (Proverbs 16:24 NLT). “Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket” (Proverbs 25:11 NLT). “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up” (Proverbs 12:25 NLT). Timing really is everything. Understanding and empathy are everything else. Think before you cheer.

Father, give me a sensitive heart and a compassion for those around me. Don’t let me be a cheerleader, but a true friend who will be there in times of difficulty to comfort, encourage and care. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Devotionary

The Bible Made Accessible and Applicable

Proverbs 12d

Proverbs 25c