grey areas

The Peril of Personal Preferences

/ kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. – Romans 14:1-9 ESV

Opinions: everybody has one. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with having an opinion, when it comes to our faith, they can be dangerous and destructive. So it makes sense that Paul would take on this delicate and sensitive matter as he deals with the practical role of the gospel in the life of the believer.

Paul has already said that believers are to “owe no one anything, except to love each other” (Romans 13:8 ESV). They are to “walk (conduct their lives) properly as in the daylight…not in quarreling and jealousy” (Romans 13:13 ESV). Now he warns them “not to quarrel over opinions” (Romans 14:1 ESV).

Paul knew that the church in Rome was just like any other church; it was made up of people from all walks of life, differing religious backgrounds, conflicting cultural heritages, and diverse personality types. There were those who were more mature in their faith and others who were still spiritual infants. And he knew that the health of the church was ultimately dependent upon the unity the believers maintained with one another. Unity was on Jesus’ mind when He prayed His High Priestly Prayer in the garden just hours before His death.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” – John 17:20-21 ESV

Personal opinions can be one of the greatest threats to the unity of any local body of Christ. But when Paul talks about opinions, he has something very specific in mind. The Greek word he uses is “diakrisis,” and it refers to “passing judgment on opinions, as to which one is to be preferred as the more correct” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). What Paul addresses here is the tendency for one believer to judge another’s opinion based on their own preconceived notions of right and wrong.

The author of Hebrews warns us that the ability to discern right from wrong comes from spending time in the Word of God.

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong. – Hebrews 5:12-14 NLT

Opinions that are not based on God’s Word will ultimately be divisive and destructive. Paul goes on to give examples of just what he is talking about.

…one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. – Romans 14:2 ESV

Old Testament dietary laws were a major factor in the early church because of the presence of believing Jews who felt obligated to keep the laws concerning the consumption of pure and impure foods. The local church in Rome was made up of people from various cultural backgrounds who brought their particular religious requirements with them. One member of the local body had strong convictions about abstaining from meat, while another member saw no problem with it. But each believed their opinion was the right one, which led to disunity and disagreement.

Paul doesn’t deal with the why behind either decision; he simply says, “Don’t despise and don’t judge.” God did not welcome either member into the body of Christ based on their eating habits. Each belonged to Him, so Paul asks, “Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall.” (Romans 14:4 NLT). The “master” Paul has in mind is God. Each believer must answer to God for their opinions about food, whether right or wrong.

Where all of this becomes a problem is when our opinions are based on personal preferences and not the clear teaching of God’s Word. We can easily develop strong convictions about a variety of topics that have no basis in Scripture, or they may be based on a poor interpretation and application of God’s Word.

Too often, we take general admonitions from God’s Word and try to make them specific. For example, the Bible is clear that we are to treat God with honor and worship Him reverently and respectfully. But the Bible does not tell us exactly what our worship services should look like. We are not given specific directions regarding musical styles or the order of worship. There are no clear indications or admonitions regarding how we are to dress when we gather for worship. Where it gets dangerous is when we start arguing over specifics based on our personal opinions rather than the clear teachings of Scripture. My personal music tastes should never lead me to judge another whose preferences differ from mine. My opinions about clothing styles should not cause me to look down my nose at someone who dresses differently from me.

Paul’s point is that our emphasis needs to be on the heart behind the opinion. Why does someone feel the need to abstain from meat? Why does another individual have strong opinions about contemporary music? What is the motivation behind the way in which that person dresses? Paul says that the one who determines to observe a particular day as better than another should do so in honor of the Lord. In other words, his decision should be made with God in mind.

Your decision to eat or abstain should be based on a desire to honor God, not some self-centered opinion about right or wrong. We are to “live to the Lord” because we belong to Him. Our opinions are to be based on His will, not our own. Our preferences should be influenced by His desires for us. Judgment and hate have no place in the body of Christ.

We are to love one another, accept one another, prefer one another, esteem one another, encourage one another, and submit to one another. Unity is the key to experiencing true community and demonstrating the love of God to a lost and dying world.

Father, we all bring our personal preferences with us when we gather as the body of Christ. It’s obvious in the way we dress, the style of worship music we like, and the kinds of people we associate with. Whether we want to admit it or not, we spend a great deal of time judging one another and making false assumptions about others based on external factors that have nothing to do with Scripture and do nothing to promote unity and demonstrate love. I can be as guilty of this as anyone. But Paul makes it clear that these kinds of attitudes are inappropriate and unacceptable in the church. They do nothing to build up the body of Christ. In fact, they create barriers, encourage cliques, and destroy the sense of unity and oneness that Jesus longed to see. Thank You for opening my eyes to the problem. Now, would You help me to die to my personal preferences and replace them with a desire to live in unity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. That we may be one as You and Your Son are one. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.22

Romans 14:14-23

/ kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

Food Fights.

Romans 14:14-23

Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. – Romans 14:20 NIV

In all things, our goal should be the building up of one another in love. There is no place in the body of Christ for petty arguments or disputes over rights and privileges. This entire section of Paul’s letter has to do with food. At first glance, it may appear that Paul is spending an inordinate amount of time dealing with what appears to be a non-issue. After all, how big a deal is what we eat in our local fellowships today? We don’t tend to fight and argue over issues of diet or culinary preferences. But in Paul’s day, this was a problem. There were those within the local church in Rome who were still adhering to the Jewish dietary restrictions found within the Mosaic law. And they were placing those same restrictions on other believers within the church, demanding their adherence to them. There were others who, having come out of pagan religious practices, were reluctant to eat meat sold in the marketplace that had been sacrificed to pagan idols. Other believers, fully aware that their new-found freedom in Christ made all foods available to them. After all, Jesus Himself had said, “It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart” (Mark 7:15 NLT). He had also stated, “Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes)” (Mark 7:19 NLT). So as far as they were concerned, they could eat anything they like, whether it was sacrificed to an idol or not. They could even eat food that had been off limits according to the Mosaic law. As a result, you had all kinds of conflicts going on within the church over food. To us it sounds petty and childish. But there is a principle going on here that applies to every situation and circumstance within the church – regardless of the century. Paul makes it clear in verse 19. “So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up” (Romans 14:19 NLT). The Greek word for “build” was a construction or architectural term that had to do with the act of building something up. Metaphorically, it meant to build up, encourage, or strengthen. Paul used it to convey the idea of promoting the spiritual growth of another. The goal was mutual edification. Paul states, “For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17 NLT). How easy it is to focus on the non-essentials. Today, we make it about things like music styles or worship preferences. We debate about what constitutes acceptable or appropriate clothing styles for church. Some feel comfortable attending worship in flip flops and shorts, while others are appalled by this apparent lack of respect, and prefer more dignified apparel for Sunday worship. As a result, judgments are made, criticism is leveled, and harmony is destroyed. To paraphrase Paul’s words, he could just as easily have written, “Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you wear.”

Now don’t get me wrong, when it comes to clothing, there must be careful consideration given to what we put on. Especially when it comes to modesty. Paul’s entire point is built around not causing another believer to stumble. While we may feel completely free to dress casually when attending church, we must always consider how our choice of attire affects those around us. Women need to consider whether the outfit they select might cause a brother in Christ to lust. Is their choice of clothing putting the emphasis on the wrong part of their anatomy? Is it distracting or could it cause a brother to lust and, therefore, stumble? Just because you might feel that a suit and tie is the only acceptable attire for worship, wouldn’t it be worthwhile to consider whether your choice of clothing might not cause another brother or sister in Christ to feel unwelcome or even unworthy to attend worship because they don’t have the capacity to dress accordingly? “You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God” (Romans 14:22 NLT). What a difference it would make in our local churches if our main priority was the mutual building up of one another. What a radical impact we would see in our fellowships if it became all about US, not ME.

There are so many things – petty, inconsequential things – that tend to divide and destroy the harmony of the local church. Paul’s obsession was for unity. He wanted his readers to understand the non-negotiable nature of mutual edification and corporate spiritual growth. The goal then, as now, was spiritual growth. Nothing was to stand in the way of the spiritual maturity of each and every believer. And we all share in and must take responsibility for the spiritual growth of one another. And oftentimes, we allow petty matters and personal preferences to stand in the way of that goal. Instead, we are to “aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up” (Romans 14:19 NLT).

Father, give us the perspective of Paul. Help us to look past our petty, personal preferences and focus on the mutual edification of one another. May our goal be harmony and unity. May our desire be the spiritual growth and maturity of one another. May our rights be replace with focus on relationships and the task of building up the body of Christ. Amen.

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Romans 14:1-13

/ kdmiller55 / Leave a comment

When Opinions Become Obstacles.

Romans 14:1-13

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling-block or obstacle in your brother’s way. – Romans 14:13 NIV

Remember what Paul said in the last chapter? “Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law” (Romans 13:10 NLT). We are to owe nothing to anyone – except for our obligation to love them. So Paul now makes those statements practical. He puts it into the context of the local body of believers – the church. He uses a very realistic, everyday circumstance that each and every one of use can relate to. Within any local congregation, there will be “stronger” and “weaker” brothers and sisters in Christ. In other words, there will be those who are mature in their faith and others who are relatively young and spiritually inexperienced in their Christian walk. Because of human nature, it is quite easy for the more mature believers to become frustrated or impatient with those who are young in the faith. They may even judge their immaturity and demand that they “grow up.” But oftentimes, our insistence that someone grow is simply a desire that they see things the way we see things. It would appear that Paul is not dealing with doctrinal or theological issues in this passage. He is not dealing with situations that involve false teaching or potential heresy. These appear to be amoral issues that are neither right or wrong, but matters of conscience. “For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them” (Romans 14:2-3 NLT).

This was an amoral issue involving the eating of certain foods. It had nothing to do with sin per se. It was a matter of one person’s opinion versus another. But there are always those who see things as black and white, right or wrong. They tend to view their opinion or viewpoint as on a par with the Scriptures themselves. They have determined that something is either acceptable or unacceptable and turn their opinions into obligations, which they place on others. This was a real problem in the early church. Paul had to constantly deal with many of the Jews who had accepted Christ, but who were still living as if they had to keep all the laws and rituals associated with Judaism. It was their opinion that this was necessary for someone to truly be a Christ-follower of Christian. So they placed their opinions and obligations on the Gentiles within their local fellowship. They demanded that they only eat certain foods and worship on a certain day, and looked down in judgment on those who refused to see things there way.

There were others among the believers in Rome who were “weak” in their faith because they did not understand the concept of Christian liberty. It’s enlightening to understand that Paul is probably referring to the Jewish Christians when he uses the term weak. They would have seen themselves as “strong,” because of their Jewish heritage and their close association with the Mosaic laws. But they failed to understand that Christ had set them free from the Law. They were still living under the false idea that they were obligated to keep the law in order to be made right with God. In Paul’s mind, this was a weakness, not a strength. So he urged others in the church to show them love and grace. He wanted everyone to understand that these matters were inconsequential when compared with the need for love and unity within the body. The real issue was one of selfishness and self-centeredness. So Paul reminds them, “For we don’t love for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Romans 14:7-8 NLT). We are to live in such a way that we honor Christ. And He has called us to love one another, not condemn and judge one another based on our own criteria or opinions. We are to live in such a way that we build one another up, rather than cause one another to fail or fall.

The important thing to remember here is that we are talking about amoral or grey issues. They are not black and white and having nothing to do with the commands or requirements of Scripture. There are times in which we do need to judge our fellow believer and call them out – but only when their actions are in violation of the clear teachings of Scripture. If a fellow believer is living in sin – for instance, committing adultery – we are not to tolerate their actions or take the attitude, “who am I to judge.” We are obligated to lovingly, but firmly confront them about their sin and call them to repentance. Paul dealt with this very idea in his letter to the Galatians. “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important” (Galatians 6:1-3 NLT). When it comes to matters of personal opinion, we are to default to love. When it comes to matters of sin, we are to lovingly confront and convict. But the key in both cases is always love. To allow a brother or sister to continue to live in sin because we don’t want to offend or confront them, is unloving. It is selfish. To demand that another believer live according to our personal opinions or set of religious requirements is just as unloving and selfish. Paul calls us to a different way of life within the body. “Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall” (Romans 14:13 NLT).

Father, far too often we allow our own opinions to become the law of the land. We create our own set of religious rules by which we live that have little or nothing to do with You or Your Word. Yet we seem to think we are more spiritual because we have a certain length of quiet time or pray in a certain way at a particular time of day. We listen to only Christian music or refrain from watching particular kinds of movies. Then we place those requirements on others, demanding that they live accordingly, judging them as immature or unspiritual if they don’t. Help us to understand that our opinions are not on the same level as Your Word. Show us how to live in love and how to extend grace to our fellow believers, and honor You in the process. Amen.

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org