headship

Decency and Order

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33 As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

36 Or was it from you that the word of God came? Or are you the only ones it has reached? 37 If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. 38 If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. 39 So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40 But all things should be done decently and in order. – 1 Corinthians 14:33b-40

This passage is a landmine of potential controversy. Over the centuries, there have been various attempts to soften its content and diminish its potential impact on the modern church. Its controversial content has resulted in Paul being labeled a sexist by many and has been used by some to prove their assertion that Christianity is archaic and out of touch with the modern world. Some claim that these words are simply Paul’s personal opinion and not a command from God. They use Paul’s similar statement written to his young protege, Timothy, as proof.

Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. – 1 Timothy 2:11-12 ESV

So what are we to do with these verses? Are we to simply ignore them, write them off as irrelevant, or are we to take them as the word of God and apply them to our local fellowships? To make matters even more difficult, it appears that Paul is contradicting himself. Earlier in this same letter, he states, “Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven” (1 Corinthians 11:4-5 ESV).

It would seem that the context he is referring to regarding prayer and prophesying is that of corporate worship. There would be no need to prophesy in private. Like all the other spiritual gifts, prayer and prophecy were intended for the edification of the body of Christ. So Paul seems to be saying that it is perfectly acceptable for women to pray and prophesy in a worship context. So why does he appear to change his mind and say, “women should keep silent in the churches”?

As always, when interpreting the meaning of a particular verse or verses, context must be considered. That includes the context of the passage in which the verses are contained. But it also includes the cultural context with which the particular book of the Bible is dealing. It is also essential to consider the original audience to whom the author was writing and the specific issues he was addressing.

In this letter, Paul writes to believers in the Greek city of Corinth, most of whom had come from pagan backgrounds and were relatively young in their faith. They were a gifted congregation, but because of their spiritual immaturity and the influence of their pagan past, they were experiencing considerable disorder and disunity in their corporate worship services. They were misusing the spiritual gifts and were failing to exhibit Christlike love for one another. There was an overemphasis on their freedoms in Christ, which resulted in quarrels and contentions over everything from eating food sacrificed to idols to who had the most important spiritual gift.

One of the issues Paul addresses repeatedly is disorder. When it comes to corporate worship, there was to be an atmosphere of order and decorum. Yet some within the church were using their gifts inappropriately, leading to confusion and a spirit of competition. It is important to note that just before Paul calls for the silence of women in the church, he states, “God is not a God of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33a ESV).

For Paul, the issue of order was directly tied to that of headship and submission. God not only had a manner in which the body of Christ should operate when gathered together, but He had also established a hierarchy of leadership. Back in Chapter 11, Paul discussed God’s ordained headship of the husband over his wife.

I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. – 1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

This had nothing to do with the value or worth of the husband or the wife. Christ and God the Father are co-equals and both members of the Trinity, but Christ submits to the authority of God the Father. He does the will of His Father. In the garden, on the night of His betrayal, Jesus prayed, “Not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42 ESV). The issue concerns authority and order.

When Paul refers to God as a God of peace, the Greek word he uses denotes harmony and concord among individuals. There was a lack of amicability within the Corinthian church, and their worship services were marked by disorder. So in these verses, Paul once again addresses an apparent abuse of God’s call for order and harmony.

“It is clear from this that the apostle was not concerned about women who properly exercised their gifts in prophesying or in praying, but was greatly concerned about women who disrupted the meetings with questions and comments, and perhaps even challenged the teaching of apostolic doctrine with contrary views.” – Ray Stedman, Should A Woman Teach in the Church, RayStedman.org

It would seem from the context that there were women who were stepping out from under their husband’s God-ordained headship and asserting what they believed to be their right to participate in the worship experience. But their actions were viewed as disruptive to the service and disrespectful of their husband’s headship. Paul states that is is shameful for women to speak in the church, but it is important to note that the word he uses for “speak” means “to declare one’s mind and disclose one’s thoughts.” It has nothing to do with using their spiritual gifts. A woman using her spiritual gift would be under the authority of the Spirit of God. But for a woman to verbally “declare her mind” and state her opinion, seemingly in conflict with a spoken word of prophesy or revelation, would be out of place.

Paul states that “If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home” (1 Corinthians 14:35 ESV). Once again, the issue has to do with order, authority, and headship. The wife should honor her husband by bringing her questions and concerns to him first. Even though he might not have the answer to her questions, she would be encouraging him to step up and fulfill his role as God’s appointed spiritual head of the home. Undermining his authority or that of the leaders of the church would accomplish nothing in terms of the edification of the body of Christ. Disunity and disorder are always destructive.

This passage, while difficult to understand, appears to be a simple admonission to submit to God’s will regarding His preordained order for the church and the home. It is a call to unity and a warning to avoid disorder of any kind.

Paul ends this chapter with the words, “All things should be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40 ESV). It is easy to lose sight of his main point and get hung up on what appear to be inconsistencies or inequities in his teaching. But for Paul, the central concern was the well-being of the body of Christ, the family of God. There was no place for individual rights or self-seeking attitudes. Love was to be the primary motivating factor behind all that was done. The example of Christ was to be the focus of their attention, resulting in willing submission to God’s authority and a selfless desire for the good of others.

Father, Paul had a way with words but sometimes those words were difficult to understand. Even the apostle Peter admitted, “Some of his comments are hard to understand, and those who are ignorant and unstable have twisted his letters to mean something quite different, just as they do with other parts of Scripture” (2 Peter 3:16 NLT). When Paul writes something we find disagreeable or confusing, our first reaction is to rationalize a way to reject it or to consider it as not applicable to us. But all Scripture contains bibilical truth and principles that are not only relevant for today, but inspored by the Holy Spirit for the buiding up of the body of Christ. Forgive us for choosing to cherry pick Your Word and for treating it is as up for debate or no longer relevant. May Your Spirit give us the wisdom to discern the life-changing lessons these passages contain so that we might apply them for the good of the body of Christ and the glory of Your name. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A God of Peace, Not Confusion

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26 What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. 27 If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. 28 But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. 29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. 30 If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. 31 For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, 32 and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. 33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

36 Or was it from you that the word of God came?  – 1 Corinthians 14:26-33a ESV

The fact that Paul goes into such detail about the gifts reveals that this was a real problem for the church in Corinth. This was not a case of the gifts being in short supply; they seemed to have them in abundance. But they were confused about their purpose and neglected to practice them in a spirit of love. So now, Paul gives more specific comments regarding their use in corporate worship.

“When you come together,” Paul says, “each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation” (1 Corinthians 14:26 ESV). The gifts were designed primarily for use within the community, and Paul makes their intended purpose clear: “Let all things be done for building up” (1 Corinthians 14:26 ESV). The gifts were not designed to draw attention or to make the one with the gift look good. And they were certainly not to be used competitively or chaotically. But it seems the Corinthians were in the habit of practicing their gifts almost as if it were a competition. There was no order to their services; everyone was prophesying, singing, teaching, and speaking in tongues at the same time. Which is what led Paul to say, “God is not a God of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV).

The gift of tongues was not to dominate the corporate gathering. As Paul made clear earlier, tongues were intended for the lost, not believers. But if someone was going to practice the gift of tongues within the worship service, there must be someone there to interpret what was said. Otherwise, they were to remain silent, and Paul restricted the use of tongues to no more than three individuals per worship service. He did the same thing with the gift of prophecy. “Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said” (1 Corinthians 14:29 ESV).

The worship service was not to be a circus or free-for-all, with everyone speaking at the same time or saying whatever they felt led to say. Even those with a prophetic word were to be evaluated by others with the same gift, so there was a confirmation of what was being said. Just because someone prophesied did not mean that what they said was prophetic or true. There was a need for others with the gift of prophecy to ascertain whether what was being said was of God.

This is an important distinction. Not all tongues are of God. Not all prophecies are from God. Not all revelation is given by God. The gifts can be easily replicated and done apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. Anyone can claim to prophesy in the name of God, but they may not be speaking for Him. There are those who claim to have the gift of tongues, but fail to practice them according to Scripture. They provide no interpretation, and so there is no message for the congregation to receive. So, no one, except the one speaking in tongues, is built up. This was all unacceptable to Paul. It reflected the former pagan background of the Corinthians more than it did God’s intended form of worship for the church.  

The next apparent abuse Paul had to address was that of women speaking in the church services. This is a not-button topic that has caused more than its fair share of controversy over the centuries. But what is Paul’s point? Is he simply being misogynistic or patriarchal? When he flatly states, “Women should keep silent in the churches” (1 Corinthians 14:34 ESV), it comes across as harsh to our modern sensibilities. Was Paul denying women the right to speak in church? That question is easily answered by looking at his statement in Chapter 11. 

…every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. – 1 Corinthians 11:5 ESV

Obviously, women were allowed to pray and prophesy in the church services, so why does Paul state that they must remain silent? As with most controversial or seemingly contradictory matters in Scripture, the answer lies in the context. In chapter 14, Paul discusses the use of the gift of prophecy and the need for order in the church service. He places boundaries or guardrails on the use of all the gifts, including prophecy. If someone exercises the gift of prophecy, their words must be validated by someone else with the same gift. That scenario means the second individual would either corroborate or contradict the first speaker’s words. With that potential scene in mind, Paul instructed women (those with the gift of prophecy) to remain silent. This restriction is directly tied to Paul’s earlier discussion on headship.

In his first letter to Timothy, Paul wrote, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet” (1 Timothy 2:12 ESV). This provides additional insight into Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians. For Paul, this was about the God-ordained order of the home and the church. But it was also about proper decorum in the worship services. In Corinth, the corporate gatherings had become chaotic and disordered. It was a free-for-all, with everyone speaking at the same time.

Tongues were being practiced without interpretation. Prophecies were being uttered with no validation or verification. That is why he instructs those who speak in tongues to remain silent when someone else is speaking. In verses 29-31, he commands a prophet to be silent if someone else is prophesying. And then, in verses34-35, he adds that women with the gift of prophecy should refrain from speaking up when a man has prophesied. For Paul, it was all about order and decorum. But it was also about protecting and preserving God’s character.

“The theological point is crucial: the character of one’s deity is reflected in the character of one’s worship. The Corinthians must therefore cease worship that reflects the pagan deities more than the God whom they have come to know through the Lord Jesus Christ. God is neither characterized by disorder nor the cause of it in the assembly.” – Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians.

Order. Edification. Peace. Godliness. Love. All of these things are to characterize the corporate worship of the body of Christ. God has given gifts to help build up the saints. When the Spirit of God is at work within the congregation, it should be evident. There will be a spirit of love present. Orderliness, not confusion, will characterize the assembly. The gifts will be complimentary, not competitive. The use of the gifts will be dictated by the Spirit of God, not the selfish desires of men. And the result will be the edification of all, not the elevation of one.

Father, this is a tough passage that has caused a lot of debate and disension over the years. But we tend to misread and misapply it, leaving out the central message Paul was trying to make. Even in debating the content, we lose sight of the context and the central point Paul was trying to make. It is all about order and unity, sanctification and mutual edification. We are a people who sometimes lose sight of Your will and make it all about us. We even have the capacity to treat the spiritual gifts as if they are the proofs of our personal piety and use them to puff up ourselves up rather than build up the body of Christ. Help us to read and apply Paul’s words as intended because they come from You. Give us the ability to read Your Word carefully and apply it diligently, for the good of the flock and for Your glory. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Hair, Headship, and Holiness

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2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. 13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God. – 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 ESV

What in the world is Paul talking about in this passage? There is little debate that this is one of the hottestly debated sections in the Bible. There are those who write it off as just another example of Paul’s male chauvinism and unbridled misogyny. Others believe that we are obligated to adhere to Paul’s teaching regarding hair length and head coverings in the church today. Some have determined that Paul is addressing a cultural issue unique to Corinth that has no bearing on the modern church.

But if all Scripture “is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV), then it would seem prudent to discover what Paul is trying to tell us in these verses. Obviously, some of what Paul is addressing is cultural and contextual, and has to do with believers living in the Greek city of Corinth. They had to operate in an environment markedly different from the one in which we live. But that does not mean Paul’s remarks are entirely irrelevant or non-binding for the rest of us. There are timeless truths taught within these verses that apply to us as well.

The challenge is to discover the non-negotiable principles intended for the church in every age, and not to allow ourselves to be distracted or deterred by the seemingly incongruous and archaic arguments of Paul. Verse 3 is essential to understanding what Paul is trying to say in the passage:

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. – 1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

The real point of this passage is authority; more specifically, God-ordained authority. As you can imagine, in the cultural context of Corinth in which Paul was trying to preach and teach, there were some strong objections to much of what he had to say. And the topic of authority or headship was one of the more controversial. So he lays out the God-ordained order of things:

The head of (authority over) Christ is God

The head of (authority over) man is Christ

The head of (authority over) the wife is her husband

Paul states that man, who was created by God, is “the image and glory of God” (1 Corinthians 11:7a ESV). Then he adds that “woman is the glory of man” (1 Corinthians 11:7b) because she was made from man. The creation account tells us that Eve was created by God from one of Adam’s ribs. So, Paul concludes, “man was not made from woman, but woman from man” (1 Corinthians 11:8 ESV). And while Paul does not state it directly, he infers that Jesus came from God, but not in the sense that He was created by God, because Jesus, like God, is eternal. The apostle John made this point quite clear in the opening of the gospel that bears his name.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. – John 1:1-4 ESV

But Jesus’ birth and incarnation were the work of God. Mary conceived because of the Spirit of God. All of this is to say that God has ordained an irrevocable order to things, and ever since the fall, mankind has been trying to turn that order on its head. It is interesting to note that, as a result of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Eve received a very specific curse. God said, “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16 NLT). One of the things that caused the fall to happen in the first place was that Adam failed to honor his God-ordained headship by allowing Eve to disobey the expressed will of God. It was to Adam that God had given His command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, Adam gave Eve the lead and allowed her to make the decision. So, “she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too” (Genesis 3:6 NLT).

The issue of head coverings and hair length appears to be culturally influenced. The real point is headship and the proper expression of it. A woman wearing a veil or head covering as a sign of submission to her husband’s authority, while culturally acceptable, did not necessarily mean that she was truly submissive. A man wearing his hair short as a sign of submission to the authority of God did not necessarily mean he actually lived under that authority. The outward evidences of submission mean nothing if the inward expression of submission is missing.

The bottom line about authority, headship, and submission is that each of us ultimately submits to God. Paul states, “But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12 NLT). There is a God-ordained inter-dependency at work here. Eve was made from Adam, but every male since Adam has come from a woman. It is not that men are more important or of more value to God than women; it is about divinely orchestrated authority and responsibility. 

If we are not careful, we will spend all our time debating head coverings and hair length and miss Paul’s primary point of headship. There comes a point at which we have to reconcile ourselves with God’s will, even when it seems to contradict the world’s patterns and our own preferences. Jesus submitted to the will of God, even though it meant His death. Paul submitted to the will of Christ, taking the gospel to the Gentiles, even though his efforts were met with rejection and persecution.

Men are to submit to Christ, acknowledging Him as their head, even though it means giving up their rights and learning to love sacrificially and selflessly. Wives are to submit to their husbands and daughters are to submit to their fathers, as to the Lord. This divine order of things does not imply that the husband or father is wiser or knows better. As Paul told the Ephesians, each of us is to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT). And Peter reminds us, “humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor” (1 Peter 5:6 NLT).

We may not understand all that Paul is saying here; we may not even like what we do understand. But we must trust that God’s will regarding headship and submission is best. We must submit to His will and trust His wisdom. This passage has a lot more to say about holiness than it does about hair. God’s will regarding headship is not arbitrary or optional. He has a divine purpose behind all His commands, and the way they manifest will remain consistent over time, although their application may vary by cultural context. Are head coverings mandatory for women in the church? That question remains a hot-button topic in some denominations. But Paul’s greater concern was the state of the heart, not the exposure of one’s hair. He was addressing the matter of headship, not head coverings.

Is it sinful for men to wear hats? If we take this passage too literally, those are the kinds of conclusions we can draw from Paul’s words. But he would argue that we are missing the forest for the trees. In the first-century context of Corinth, head coverings for women were a societal norm.

“In the Corinthian culture, women normally wore a head covering as a symbol of their submission to their husbands. Paul affirms the rightness of following that cultural mandate—to dispense with the head coverings on women would send the entirely wrong signal to the culture at large. In fact, Paul says that, if a Christian woman refuses her head covering, she might as well shave her hair off, too (verse 6). A woman who refused to wear a covering in that culture was basically saying, “I refuse to submit to God’s order.” Therefore, the apostle Paul is teaching the Corinthians that hair length or the wearing of a “covering” by the woman was an outward indication of a heart attitude of submission to God and to His established authority.” – “Should Christian Women Wear Head Coverings.” GotQuestions.org. https://www.gotquestions.org/head-coverings.html.

Paul was encouraging the new believers in Corinth to refrain from doing anything that might damage Christ’s reputation in their community. Women without head coverings would have been unacceptable in their cultural context. Men who covered their hair would have been viewed as effeminate and unmanly. This kind of behavior would have sent mixed signals to the unbelievers in Corinth, painting the church in a negative light. But, for Paul, the issue was always about headship and following God’s divine order. He wanted believers to live in a way that honored God by submitting to His divine order.

Father, You have established an order for Your creation and, as Your children, we have been charged with maintaining that order as Your servants. You made man and woman in Your image, and we are to reflect that image to the world. You created marriage to reveal Your glory to the world as the husband and wife mirror Your sacrificial love and selfless service for one another in the roles You pre-ordained for them. We get into trouble when we decide we know better than You do. We create confusion and conflict when we try to rethink and reorder Your divine plan for the roles and relationships You have established. Chaos ensues, conflict erupts, and our role as Your image-bearers becomes blurry to a lost world that desperately needs to see Your will lived out in real time and clarity. Give us the strength to live out our calling according to Your will and not our own — for Your glory and the good of all those around us. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Submission is Not a Dirty Word

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18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. – Colossians 3:18-4:1 ESV

Paul now takes those other-oriented, selfless, and love-motivated character traits and applies them to everyday life. Since he was writing to believers living in Colossae, he customized his words for their particular context. He wanted them to know what seeking and setting their minds on things that are above would look like on a daily basis. He wasn’t promoting an ethereal and impractical brand of religious pietism and asceticism. No, he was recommending a highly practical brand of faith that revealed the transformative nature of the gospel in everyday life.

They were to “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:10 ESV). As God’s chosen ones, they were to put on “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12 ESV). But none of these “add-ons” would be effective without love.

…put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony… – Colossians 3:14 ESV

Since God is love and He best expressed that love through the gift of His Son, Paul called the Colossians to “do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17 ESV). But what does that look like? How were they supposed to make these powerful admonitions practical? Well, Paul makes it plain and simple for them. He begins with the family unit, one of the most foundational and universal arenas of personal relationships in this life.

The family was God’s idea. He originated and ordained the union of one man and one woman, creating an indissoluble bond between them as husband and wife. The creation account found in the opening chapters of Genesis records God’s creation of the first marriage.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:21-24 ESV

Jesus Himself confirmed the validity of the Genesis account by stating, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6 ESV).

So, Paul begins at the beginning – with the family unit. He calls believing wives to submit to their believing husbands. But he adds an important, yet often overlooked, distinction: “as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 ESV). The New Living Translation puts it this way: “as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”

Paul’s use of the word “submission” was directly linked to his call that all believers conduct themselves with compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. If there was ever a relationship where those characteristics were necessary, it was the union between a husband and wife. So, he calls wives to lovingly, humbly, meekly, and patiently relate to their husbands in such a way that honors their role as the God-appointed head of the household. Paul provided additional insight into the headship role of the husband when writing to the church in Ephesus.

…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:21-24 NLT

The biblical concept of submission has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority. Paul is not suggesting that women are somehow second-class citizens. He is simply articulating the divinely ordained concept of headship within the family unit. Just as Christ is the head of the church, the believing husband is responsible for the well-being of his family, and that role comes with a heavy dose of accountability.

Paul made it painfully clear that one of the primary leadership responsibilities of a godly husband was to selflessly love his wife. Once again, Paul provides further clarity in his letter to the church in Ephesus.

…this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. – Ephesians 5:25-26 NLT

To lovingly and graciously submit to her husband, a wife must surrender her pride and natural desire for autonomy. In other words, she would have to “put off the old self with its practices” (Colossians 3:9 ESV). Submission doesn’t come naturally or easily for anyone. It requires a sacrifice of the human will. For anyone to submit in a way that “is fitting for those who belong to the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 NLT), they have to “put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within” (Colossians 3:18 NLT). And according to Peter, submission isn’t required for wives alone. He calls all believers to model godly submission to all those in authority.

Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God… – 1 Peter 2:13-15 ESV

Regardless of their gender, each believer’s life is to be marked by an attitude of humble submission to others – for this is the will of God. According to Paul, one of the greatest displays of dying to self was to be a husband’s selfless expression of love for his wife. He was to put his wife’s life ahead of his own, even sacrificing his own life if necessary.

At the core of Paul’s teaching on submission is the contrast between humility and pride. There was no place for self-aggrandizement in the life of a believer.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4 BSB

Even children had a part to play in God’s divine order for the home. They were to obey their parents in everything. Why? Because this was pleasing to the Lord. It was in keeping with His divine will. A child’s obedience was a form of submission to the God-ordained authority of their parents. Again, this is not normal or natural. As the proverb states, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…” (Proverbs 22:15 BSB).

It’s interesting to note that the disobedience of children was one of the characteristics Paul listed when describing the state of the world in the last days.

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. – 2 Timothy 3:1-4 NLT

But, according to Paul, an obedient child is the byproduct of a loving and godly father.

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21 NLT

Proverbs 22 goes on to say, “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away” (Proverbs 22:15 NLT). Yet, too much discipline, done in an unloving and heavy-handed manner, can do more harm than good. It can cause a child to become discouraged. Discipline that is unloving and lacking in compassion can disincentivize a child from trying to obey. It can actually result in rebellion rather than submission. So, Paul warns fathers to use their role as heads of their households with care.

Next, Paul moves from addressing the family unit to dealing with another relationship that was ubiquitous in the Colossian community: slavery. While we find this topic uncomfortable and somewhat off-putting, it was a normal part of everyday life for the citizens of Colossae.

“Scholars estimate about 10% (but possibly up to 20%) of the Roman empire’s population were enslaved. This would mean, for an estimated Roman empire population of 50 million (in the first century AD) between five and ten million were enslaved. This number would have been unequally distributed across the empire, with a higher concentration of enslaved people in urban areas and in Italy.” – http://www.britishmuseum.org

Slavery was an everyday part of daily life in Colossae. Yet Paul doesn’t attempt to address the moral implications of slavery. Instead, he shows the Colossian believers how their new identity in Christ should impact every area of life. The reality was that slaves were coming to faith in Christ and becoming a part of the local congregation of believers. It was highly likely that the church in Colossae had slaves attending worship services with their own masters. This presented a particularly difficult problem for Paul and the church’s leadership. How were these people supposed to relate to one another? How should their mutual relationship with Christ impact their interpersonal relationship with one another?

Paul addresses both parties. He tells slaves, “obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord” (Colossians 3:22 NLT). Then he turns his attention to the masters.

…be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven. – Colossians 4:1 NLT

Notice his emphasis on God. Both parties were to recognize that their earthly relationship with one another had been dramatically altered by their new identity in Christ. While nothing had changed regarding their worldly status, Paul wanted them to know that God viewed them in a new light.

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. – Colossians 3:11 NLT

Paul’s words to slaves teach an invaluable and universal lesson. These were individuals who had no choice regarding their condition. Their position as slaves required that they submit, whether they wanted to or not. But Paul challenged them to take a different attitude.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. – Colossians 3:23-24 NLT

This call to a new outlook applied to every believer in the local church in Colossae. It’s what Paul meant when he wrote, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2 ESV). A slave was to live with an eternal perspective, knowing that his current circumstance was temporal. There was a reward awaiting him that made his present suffering pale in comparison. But that heavenly-minded, future-focused perspective was to motivate the life of every believer in Colossae, regardless of their gender, race, or social status.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Priority of the Gospel

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1 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. 7 For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.

8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. – 1 Timothy 2:1-15 ESV

This chapter is chock-full of verses around which men have built entire doctrines or teachings regarding the church. And in many cases, they have ignored the context while focusing on a single concept or idea. But we have to remember that Paul is giving Timothy, his young disciple, instructions regarding his ministry among the people in Ephesus. The focus of this entire chapter is on the gospel and the environment in which it thrives and spreads best. There are things that can hurt or hinder the spread of the gospel. There are activities or circumstances that can cause the message of the good news of Jesus Christ to be difficult to understand. There are also things that believers can do that can end up discrediting their role as messengers of the gospel. Paul’s primary emphasis in this chapter is the salvation of others. Everything else he deals with becomes the context in which the salvation of others functions best.

He begins with an admonition to pray. Paul did not view prayer as a magic formula or secret weapon given to believers but as intimate communication with God. Every child of God is provided with the privilege of being able to speak with their Heavenly Father, at any time and from any place.

As the church, we are the people of God and, as such, we should always have a God-ward focus in our thinking. Paul tells Timothy to pray for all people. But pray for what?

Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. – 1 Timothy 2:1 NLT

In the original Greek, Paul actually lists four different aspects of prayer: requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving. Each word was carefully chosen and designed to illustrate the rich depth that should mark our communication with God.

“Requests” is the Greek word deeseis and it carries a sense of determination and earnestness based on an awareness of the other person’s needs. As believers, we understand the needs of all men, whether we know them or not. They need Jesus.

The word “prayers” is the Greek word proseuchas, and it is a more general description that covers prayers of all kinds. Its focus is on God, not the one for whom we are praying. We are to lift up all men before God, placing them in His hands and under His care, trusting that He knows what they need.

“Intercession” (enteuxeis) seems to cover the specific requests we bring to God on behalf of others. When we become aware of a specific need or circumstance in someone else’s life, we boldly bring it before the throne of God.

Finally, “thanksgiving” (eucharistias) reminds us that our prayers are to be filled with expressions of gratitude to God. But in this context, Paul is suggesting that our prayers of thanksgiving concern those for whom we are praying – and that includes all men and not just some. Again, the focus is on God. To be able to thank God for someone whom we would normally feel unthankful is to express trust in the sovereignty of God. It is to confess that He is in charge and has a purpose for that person’s presence in our life.

Prayer is not meant to be formulaic or ritualistic. It is to be marked by a variety and intensity of style and content, with the focus always on God.

Paul goes on to instruct Timothy to include kings and all authority figures in his prayers. These people are sometimes the most difficult individuals for whom to pray. But Paul instructs Timothy to pray that God would use these people to help create an atmosphere in which believers might “live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity” (1 Timothy 2:2 NLT) and that the gospel might prosper and spread.

But why? Because God wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. His desire is that all men hear the good news that “there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus. He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone” (1 Timothy 2:5-6 NLT). So, we are to pray that God would use political leaders to foster an atmosphere conducive to spreading the gospel message.

But there are certain things that can hinder our prayers and destroy our witness as believers. Paul mentions anger and controversy. Jesus warned us that “if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God” (Matthew 5:23-24 NLT).

Disunity can derail our prayer lives but so can our actions. And our behavior among those for whom we are praying can have a powerful impact on whether they eventually embrace the salvation we know they need. Our outward actions can derail our efforts to share the gospel by contradicting the very message of the gospel’s life-transforming power.

Paul addresses an issue that continues to be a problem in the church today: The immodesty of dress among Christian women. He writes, “I want women to be modest in their appearance” (1 Timothy 2:9 NLT). This wasn’t just Paul’s personal preference but reflects his instructions as an apostle of and spokesman for God. The women in the church at Ephesus were sending mixed messages. On the one hand, they were spreading the gospel. But some of them were so interested in how they looked and focused on drawing attention to themselves, that they were actually doing more harm than good. Good looks had replaced good behavior as the point of emphasis in their lives. They had become focused on the externals, rather than the condition of their own hearts.

The next issue Paul addressed with Timothy remains a hot-button topic even today. It dealt with the role of women in the assembly of the church, and it had to do with order and headship. But as with every other topic in this chapter, it had to do with the spread of the gospel. Anything we do that hinders or hurts the gospel message is to be avoided at all costs. In this case, the female members of the Ephesian church had discovered a new-found freedom in Christ but it had led to license and was creating disorder within the local body of Christ. Paul insisted that there must be order and decorum in the church. There was a God-given structure to the body of Christ, with Christ himself serving as the head. God had given to men the responsibility of serving in a place of authority and responsibility, both within the local church and the home.

This had nothing to do with value or worth but with divine order and human responsibility. The real issue here seems to be a woman taking on inappropriate authority not given to her by God. Ultimately, Paul’s concern was the spread of the gospel. Again, disunity and anger seem to be at the core of Paul’s message. If those outside the church were to look inside and see a lack of unity and the presence of disharmony, their interest in the gospel might be negatively impacted. Yet, Paul insisted that God had provided an order and authority structure to the body of Christ. In God’s grand scheme, men were to lead the church. They were responsible to God for teaching the Scriptures. This in no way implies that women are incapable or unqualified to teach God’s Word. It has to do with authority and responsibility, not capability.

God had placed men in the role of teachers and leaders within the local church. When this order was ignored or violated, it caused disunity and discord. Paul seems to be saying that order within the church and the spread of the Gospel should take precedence over the need to look good or to be seen as a person of power and influence. It was important that men be able to “pray with holy hands lifted up” – free from controversy and anger. The goal is always to be the spread of the gospel. Whether male or female, our greatest concern should be that others come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Our need to be noticed, in charge, seen as attractive, powerful, influential, and even as spiritual – has to take a backseat to God’s non-negotiable command to make disciples. That should be the focus of our prayers and the emphasis of our lives.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Let’s Get Practical

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18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. – Colossians 3:18-4:1 ESV

Paul now takes those other-oriented, selfless, and love-motivated character traits and applies them to everyday life. And since he was writing to believers living in Colossae, he customized his words for their particular context. He wanted them to know what seeking and setting their minds on things that are above would look like on a daily basis. He wasn’t promoting some kind of ethereal and impractical brand of religious pietism and asceticism. No, he was recommending a highly practical brand of faith that revealed the transformative nature of the gospel in everyday life. They were to “put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:10 ESV). As chosen ones of God, they were to put on “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12 ESV). But none of these “add-ons” would be effective without love.

…put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony… – Colossians 3:14 ESV

And since God is love and He best expressed that love through the gift of His Son, Paul called the Colossians to “do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17 ESV). But what does that look like? How were they supposed to make these powerful admonitions practical? Well, Paul makes it plain and simple for them. And he begins with the family unit, one of the most foundational and universal arenas of relationship in this life.

The family was God’s idea. It was He who originated and ordained the union of one man and one woman, creating an indissoluble bond between them as husband and wife. The creation account found in the opening chapters of Genesis records God’s creation of the first marriage.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:21-24 ESV

And Jesus Himself confirmed the validity of the Genesis account by stating, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4-6 ESV).

So, Paul begins at the beginning, with the family unit. He calls believing wives to submit to their believing husbands. But he adds an important, yet often overlooked, distinction: “as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 ESV). The New Living Translation puts it this way: “as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”

For Paul, the use of the word “submission” was directly linked to his call that all believers conduct themselves with compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. If ever there was ever a relationship where those characteristics were necessary, it was that of a husband and wife. So, he calls wives to lovingly, humbly, meekly, and patiently relate to their husbands in such a way that honors their role as the God-appointed head of the household. Paul provided additional insight into the headship role of the husband when writing to the church in Ephesus.

…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:21-24 NLT

The biblical concept of submission has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority. Paul is not suggesting that women are somehow second-class citizens. He is simply articulating the divinely-ordained concept of headship within the family unit. Just as Christ is the head of the church, the believing husband is given responsibility for the well-being of his family. And that responsibility comes with a heavy dose of accountability.

Paul made it painfully clear that one of the primary leadership responsibilities of a godly husband was to selflessly love his wife. And, once again, Paul provides further clarity in his letter to the church in Ephesus.

…this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. – Ephesians 5:25-26 NLT

In order to lovingly, graciously submit to her husband, a wife would have to surrender her pride and natural desire for autonomy. In other words, she would have to “put off the old self with its practices” (Colossians 3:9 ESV). Submission doesn’t come naturally or easily. It requires a sacrifice of the human will. In order for anyone to submit in a way that “is fitting for those who belong to the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 NLT), they will have to “put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within” (Colossians 3:18 NLT). And according to Peter, submission isn’t something that is reserved for wives alone.

Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God… – 1 Peter 2:13-15 ESV

The life of a believer, regardless of their gender, is to be marked by an attitude of humble submission to others – for this is the will of God. And, according to Paul, one of the greatest displays of death-to-self was to be a husband’s selfless expression of love for his wife. He was to put his wife’s life ahead of his own. He was to be willing to die on her behalf.

At the core of Paul’s teaching on submission was the idea of humility versus pride. There was no place for self-aggrandizement in the life of a believer.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4 BSB

Even children had a part to play in God’s divine order for the home. They were to obey their parents in everything. Why? Because this was pleasing to the Lord. It was in keeping with His divine will. And a child’s obedience was a form of submission to the God-ordained authority of their parents. Again, this is not normal or natural. As the proverb states, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…” (Proverbs 22:15 BSB).

And it’s interesting to note that disobedience to children was one of the characteristics Paul listed when describing the future state of the world in the last days.

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. – 2 Timothy 3:1-4 NLT

But, according to Paul, an obedient child is the byproduct of a loving and godly father.

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. – Colossians 3:21 NLT

That same proverb goes on to say, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” Yet, too much discipline, done in an unloving and heavy-handed manner can do more harm than good. It can cause a child to become discouraged. Discipline that is unloving and lacking in compassion can lead a child to become disinterested in trying to obey. It can actually result in rebellion rather than submission. So, Paul warns fathers to use their role as heads of their households with care.

Next, Paul moves from addressing the family unit to dealing with another relationship that was a ubiquitous part of the Colossian community: Slavery. While we find this topic uncomfortable and somewhat off-putting, it was a normal part of everyday life for the citizens of Colossae.

Scholars estimate about 10% (but possibly up to 20%) of the Roman empire’s population were enslaved. This would mean, for an estimated Roman empire population of 50 million (in the first century AD) between five and ten million were enslaved. This number would have been unequally distributed across the empire, with a higher concentration of enslaved people in urban areas and in Italy. – © The Trustees of the British Museum.

Slavery was an everyday part of daily life in Colossae. Yet Paul doesn’t attempt to address the moral implications of slavery. Instead, he tried to show the Colossian believers how their new identity in Christ should impact every area of life. The reality was that slaves were coming to faith in Christ and becoming a part of the local congregation of believers. It was highly likely that the church in Colossae had slaves attending worship services with their own masters. And this presented a particularly difficult problem for Paul and the leadership of the church. How were these people supposed to relate to one another? How was their mutual relationship with Christ to impact their interpersonal relationship with one another?

Paul addresses both parties. He tells slaves, “obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord” (Colossians 3:22 NLT). And he tells masters, “be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven” (Colossians 4:1 NLT).

Notice his emphasis on God. Both parties were to recognize that their earthly relationship with one another had been dramatically altered by their new identity in Christ. While nothing had changed regarding their earthly status, Paul wanted them to know that God viewed them in a whole new light.

In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. – Colossians 3:11 NLT

There is an invaluable and universal lesson to be learned from Paul’s words to slaves. These were individuals who had no choice regarding their condition. Their position as slaves required that they submit, whether they wanted to or not. But Paul challenged them to take a different attitude.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. – Colossians 3:23-24 NLT

And this applied to every believer in the local church in Colossae. It’s what Paul meant when he wrote, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2 ESV). A slave was to live his life with an eternal perspective, knowing that his current circumstance was temporal. There was a reward awaiting him that made his present suffering pale in comparison. And that heavenly-minded, future-focused perspective was to motivate the life of every believer in Colossae, regardless of their gender, race, or social status.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

 

A Method To God’s Madness.

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As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. Or was it from you that the word of God came? Or are you the only ones it has reached? If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. But all things should be done decently and in order. – 1 Corinthians 14:33b-40

This passage is a land mine of potential controversy. Over the centuries there have been a variety of attempts made to soften its content and diminish its potential impact on the modern church. It has resulted in Paul being labeled a sexist by many and has been used by some to prove their assertion that Christianity is archaic and out of touch with the modern world. There are those who claim that these words are simply the personal opinion of Paul and are not to be taken as a command from God. They use Paul’s similar statement written to his young protege, Timothy, as proof. “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet” (1 Timothy 2:11-12 ESV).

So what are we to do with this verses? Are we to simply ignore them, write them off as irrelevant, or take them as the word of God and apply them to our local fellowships? To make things even more difficult, it would appear that Paul is contradicting himself. Earlier in this same letter, he states, “Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven” (1 Corinthians 11:4-5 ESV). It would seem that the context he is referring to regarding prayer and prophesying is that of corporate worship. There would be no need to prophesy in private. Like all the other spiritual gifts, these two were intended for the edification of the body of Christ. So Paul seems to be saying that it is perfectly acceptable for women to pray and prophesy in a worship context. So why does he seem to change his mind and say, “women should keep silent in the churches”?

As always, when interpreting the meaning of a particular verse or verses, we must consider the context. That includes the context of the passage in which the verses are contained. But it also includes the cultural context with which the particular book of the Bible is dealing. We must always consider the original audience to whom the author was writing and the specific issues he was addressing. Here is this letter, Paul is writing to believers in the Greek city of Corinth, most of whom had come out of pagan backgrounds and who were relatively young in their faith. They are a gifted congregation, but because of their spiritual immaturity and the influence of their pagan past, they were experiencing a great deal of disorder and disunity. They were misusing the spiritual gifts and were failing to exhibit Christ-like love for one another. There was an overemphasis on their freedoms in Christ which was resulting in quarrels and contentions over everything from eating food sacrificed to idols to who had the most important spiritual gift.

One of the issues Paul addresses repeatedly is disorder. When it comes to corporate worship, there was to be an atmosphere of order and decorum. Yet, some within the church were using their gifts inappropriately, resulting in confusion and a spirit of competition. It is important to note that just before Paul states that women are to be silent in the church, he states, “God is not a God of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33a ESV). For Paul, the issue of order was directly tied to that of headship and submission. God not only had a manner in which the body of Christ should operate when gathered together, He had established a hierarchy of leadership. Back in chapter 11, Paul discussed God’s ordained headship of the husband over his wife. “I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV). This has nothing to do with value or worth. Christ and God the Father are co-equals and both members of the trinity. But Christ submits to the authority of God the Father. He does the will of His Father. In the garden, on the night of His betrayal, Jesus prayed, “not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42 ESV). The issue has to do with authority and order.

When Paul refers to God being a God of peace, the Greek word he uses refers to harmony and concord between individuals. There was a lack of harmony within the Corinthian church and their worship services were marked by disorder. So Paul is once again addressing an apparent abuse of God’s call for order and harmony.

It is clear from this that the apostle was not concerned about women who properly exercised their gifts in prophesying or in praying, but was greatly concerned about women who disrupted the meetings with questions and comments, and perhaps even challenged the teaching of apostolic doctrine with contrary views. – Ray Stedman, Should A Woman Teach in the Church, RayStedman.org

It would seem from the context that there were women who were stepping out from under their husband’s God-ordained headship and asserting what they believed to be their right to participate in the worship experience. But their actions were viewed as disruptive to the service and disrespectful of their husband’s headship. Paul states that is is shameful for women to speak in the church. It is important to note that the word he uses for “speak” means “to declare one’s mind and disclose one’s thoughts.” It has nothing to do with using their spiritual gifts. A woman using her spiritual gift would be under the authority of the Spirit of God. But for a woman to verbally “declare her mind” and state her opinion, seemingly in conflict with a spoken word of prophesy or revelation, would be out of place. Paul states that “If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home” (1 Corinthians 14:35 ESV). Once again, the issue has to do with order and authority. The wife would honor her husband by bringing her questions and concerns to him first. Even though he might not have the answer to her questions, she would be encouraging him to step up and fulfill his role as God’s appointed spiritual head of the home. Undermining his authority or that of the leaders of the church would accomplish nothing in terms of the edification of the body of Christ. Disunity and disorder are always destructive.

This passage, while difficult to understand, appears to be a simple to submit to God’s will regarding His preordained order for the church and the home. It is a call to unity and a warning to avoid disorder of any kind. Paul ends this chapter with the words, “all things should be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40 ESV). If we are not careful, we will lose sight of his main point and get hung up on what we believe to be inconsistencies or inequities in his teaching. But for Paul, the central concern was the well-being of the body of Christ, the family of God. There was no place for individual rights or self-seeking attitudes. Love was to be the primary motivating factor behind all that was done. The example of Christ was to be the focus of their attention, resulting in willing submission to God’s authority and a selfless desire for the good of others.

Say What?!

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Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God. Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God. – 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 ESV

What in the world is Paul talking about in this passage? There is little debate that this is one of the most hotly debated sections in the Bible. There are those who write it off as just another example of Paul’s male chauvinism. Others believe that we are obligated to adhere to Paul’s teaching regarding hair length and head coverings in the church today. Some simply state that what Paul is dealing with in these verses is a cultural issue unique to Corinth, and that it has no bearing on the modern church today. But if all Scripture “is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV), then it would seem that we need to discover just exactly what Paul is trying to tell us in these verses. There is little doubt that some of what Paul is addressing is cultural and contextual. It has to do with believers living in the Greek city of Corinth who were having to operate within an environment that was markedly different than the one in which we live. But there are timeless truths taught within these verses that apply to us as well. The key for us is to discover the non-negotiable principles intended for the church in every age, and to not allow ourselves to become distracted or deterred by the seemingly incongruous and archaic arguments of Paul.

I believe verse 3 is essential to understanding what Paul is trying to say in the passage: “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” The real point of this passage is authority – God-ordained authority. As you can imagine, in the cultural context of Corinth in which Paul was trying to preach and teach, there were some strong objections to much of what he had to say. And the topic of authority or headship was one of the more controversial. So he lays out the God-ordained order of things:

The head (or authority over) of Christ is God

The head (or authority over) of man is Christ

The head (or authority over) of the wife is her husband

Paul states that man, who was created by God, is “the image and glory of God” (1 Corinthians 11:7a ESV). Then he says that “woman is the glory of man” (1 Corinthians 11:7b) because she was made from man. The creation account tells us that Eve was created by God from one of Adam’s ribs. So, Paul concludes, “man was not made from woman, but woman from man” (1 Corinthians 11:8 ESV). And while Paul does not directly state it, he infers that Jesus came from God. Not in the sense that He was created by God, because Jesus is eternal. But His birth and incarnation were the work of God. Mary conceived because of the Spirit of God. All of this is to say that God has ordained an irrevocable order to things. And ever since the fall, mankind has been trying to turn that order on its head. It is interesting to note that one of the curses God pronounced on Eve and all women was “you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16 NLT). One of the things that caused the fall to happen in the first place was Adam foregoing his God-ordained headship and allowing Eve to disobey the expressed will of God. It was to Adam that God had given His command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But Adam gave Eve the lead. He allowed her to make the decision and “she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too” (Genesis 3:6 NLT).

The issue of head coverings and hair length seems to be cultural in context. The real point is headship and the proper expression of it. A woman wearing a veil or head covering as a sign of submission to her husband’s authority, while culturally acceptable, did not necessarily mean that she was truly submissive. A man wearing his hair short as a sign of submission to the authority of God did not necessarily mean he actually lived under that authority. The outward evidences of submission are nothing if the inward expression of submission is missing. The bottom line about authority, headship and submission is that each of us ultimately submits to God. Paul states, “But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12 NLT). There is a God-ordained inter-dependency at work here. Eve was made from Adam, but every male since Adam has come from a woman. It is not that men are more important than women or of more value to God. It is about divinely orchestrated authority and responsibility. 

If we are not careful, we will spend all our time arguing and debating about head coverings and hair length and miss out on Paul’s primary point of headship. There comes a point at which we have to be okay with God’s will, even when it seems to contradict the world’s patterns and our own preferences. Jesus submitted to the will of God, even though it meant His death. Paul submitted to the will of Christ, taking the gospel to the Gentiles, even though it meant he would face rejection and persecution for his efforts. Men were to submit to Christ, acknowledging Him as their head, even though it would mean they had to give up their rights and learn to love sacrificially and selflessly. Wives were to submit to their husbands and daughters to their fathers, as to the Lord, even though they might be wiser and know better. As Paul told the Ephesians, each of us is to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT). And Peter would remind us, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor” (1 Peter 5:6 NLT). We may not understand all that Paul is saying here. We may not even like what we do understand. But we must trust that God’s will regarding headship and submission is best. We must submit to His will and trust His wisdom.

Submission Is Not A Dirty Word.

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Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. – Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV

Submit is not a four-letter word. But in our culture and context, it has become a dirty word, conjuring images of slave-like subjugation and subservience. These two verses strike fear into the hearts of many pastors and insight anger among women. This passage is viewed as old-fashioned, a throw-back to some cultural context that has no bearing on our more sophisticated modern milieu. Many conclude that Paul was writing to a people trapped in an antiquated social structure that doesn’t apply to us as modern Christians. Either that, or he was just misogynist, trying to keep women in their “proper” place.

But what most of us fail to realize is that submission is a non-negotiable requirement of every believer in Christ. These two verses, like so many others in Scripture, are typically lifted from their context and treated in isolation. But Paul has been talking about how believers were to live their lives – how they were to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1 ESV). They were to live differently than those who were unsaved. Their behavior was to set them apart as children of God. They were to walk in love, as children of light, exhibiting the wisdom of God, not the foolishness of the world.

The verses that often get overlooked when dealing with this passage are located right before it. In them, Paul gives an admonition to every single believer – male and female.

…be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:18-21 ESV

Submission is expected of each and every follower of Christ. A lifestyle of submission is one of humility and honor, not subservience and servitude. When done properly it reveres Christ, because it models the very lifestyle that He lived. Jesus Himself described His mission in terms of submission and a servant-like attitude. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28 NLT). The apostle Paul told the believers in Corinth:

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. – Philippians 2:5-7 NLT

This had nothing to do with Jesus’ rights. He was the Son of God. He was divine and powerful. He had created the world and all those who lived in it. Yet, He was willing to submit to His Father’s will and set aside His divine privileges and prerogatives in order to serve mankind by giving His life. In the upper room, on the night that Jesus was to be betrayed and arrested, He washed the feet of His disciples. He set aside His robe, wrapped himself in a towel and did what none of the others would have dared to do. Jesus told His disciples, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand” (John 13:7 ESV). When He had finished, Jesus said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:12-17 ESV).

Jesus’ act of submission was meant to be a living lesson to the disciples about what their lives were to be like in the days to come. They were to serve one another. They were to submit to one another. Titles were not to stand in the way. Rights were to be set aside. Status was to be ignored. Submission was to be a key characteristic of their lives. And what the disciples did not yet understand was the foot washing by Jesus was simply a symbol of His ultimate act of service that would take place on the cross just a short time later.

When James and John, two of Jesus’ disciples came to Him and arrogantly asked if they could have positions of prominence in His coming Kingdom, the rest of the disciples became angry and jealous. Jesus responded, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:42-45 ESV). Among you it will be different. In His Kingdom, sovereignty was marked by slavery. Honor was achieved through humility.

So what does all this have to do with wives? In this chapter, Paul is going to use a number of earthly relationships to illustrate Christian submission. He will talk about husbands and wives, children and parents, and slaves and masters. As believers, we do not operate in a vacuum. We are not independent agents, acting on our own and focused solely on our individual walk with God. We live in the context of community. Wives have husbands. It is in that context that they are to practices submission. Notice that Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” He does NOT say that all women are to submit to ALL men. This has nothing to do with the value or significance of women in general. It has everything to do with the context of marriage. What more difficult place to practice submission than in a marriage. Just as the disciples would never have lowered themselves to wash the feet of one another, wives will find it difficult to submit to their husbands. Especially if their husbands fail to love as Paul commands. Yet submission is not optional. It is a willing coming under the other, making them more important than yourself. It is NOT an admission of their superiority, but a recognition of God’s divine order. He has made the husband the head of the household, not because He is smarter, more spiritual or even better equipped to lead, but in order that there might be order in the home. He holds the husband responsible. Just as He held Adam to a higher standard than He did Eve when it came to their mutual sin against Him.

Submission is essential to every relationship in which we find ourselves as Christians. And submission is one of the hardest things for us to do. We long to be first. We see ourselves as somehow better than others. We long to be in control. But when we submit to others, we are really submitting to God. We are coming under His divine authority and recognizing His righteous order for His creation. At the end of the day, submission is about trusting God. It involves a realization that He is in control and that He has authority over the husband. A believing wife must submit to her husband “as to the Lord.” She is trusting God to lead him and protect her. But the temptation will be to step in and take over, stepping out from under God’s ordained plan. Submission will not always make sense. It will not always appear to work. It may even be uncomfortable at times. But even Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, offering Himself as a ransom for many. Submission is not a dirty word. It is a way of life for the believer.

Strong Words About the Weak.

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Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7 ESV

We might as deal with the most challenging part of this verse first. What does Peter mean when he refers to women as “the weaker vessel”? He most certainly was not inferring that women are somehow inferior to men. While that was the common societal perspective of his day, Peter, like Jesus, held women in high esteem and as the spiritual equals of men. While he believed in and adhered to God’s created order that the man was to be the head of his household, women were in no way subservient. So what should we make of his point that women are somehow weaker than men? What is he trying to say? The easy and most obvious answer would be that women are, in most cases, physically weaker than men. No, this is not always true, but it is usually an accepted fact that men are physically stronger than women. It could also be referring to the more sensitive nature of a woman’s emotional makeup. Women tend to be exhibit the characteristics of compassion, tenderness, love, kindness, mercy and care. This is not to say that men do not share these traits, but they are more commonly associated with women. Peter could have simply been encouraging the men to whom he was writing to know their wives well and to be sensitive to their physical, spiritual and emotional makeups. One way in which we could view Peter’s words are to see the wife as fine china, weaker in the sense of fragility and value. They are to be treated with tenderness and care. They are to be seen as irreplaceable and priceless.

He told them to “live with your wives in an understanding way.” The literal translation of the phrase Peter uses could be “according to knowledge.” Not only should a husband know his wife well, but he should know how God would have him express love to his wife. He is to honor her based on what he knows about her. And he is to see her as his partner in life, his heir of the grace of life.

It was God’s idea to put man and woman together as husband and wife. Together they complement and complete one another. They each have God-given roles and responsibilities and each is to honor and respect the other. The husband is to see his wife as his partner in life, and that would include in his spiritual life. In the culture in which Peter lived, women were expected to accept the religion of their husbands, without any say or input into the matter. They had no rights regarding the matter. So perhaps Peter is addressing husbands whose wives were not believers. This would seem to fit in with his address to the wives who had husbands who were not yet believers. It was obviously common for men and women to come to faith in Christ while their spouses remained unsaved. So it could be that when Peter addresses wives as “the weaker vessel,” he is either referring to non-believing wives or wives who are less mature in their faith. In his letter to the Romans, Paul addressed this very issue and used similar language. He wrote, “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions” (Romans 14:1 ESV). He then went on to deal with situations within the church involving gray areas or personal convictions. There were those in the church who felt it was wrong to eat certain kinds of foods. They were bringing their convictions from their former religions or lifestyles into the fellowship, without realizing that there were no such restrictions within Christianity. Others in the fellowship, who knew that these convictions were baseless were guilty of looking down on their “weaker” brothers, flaunting their rights and freedoms in their faces. Paul called them on the carpet for this, admonishing them to give up their rights for the sake of their weaker brothers.

So it could be that Peter is making a similar point. He just might be addressing believing husbands whose wives are immature in their faith. Peter could have been encouraging husbands to treat their wives with deference and honor, knowing that their faith was less developed. Whatever the case, Paul’s admonishment to the believers in Rome still applies: “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:7-8 ESV). There is a selflessness that is to characterize the life of a believer, and that is especially true within the marriage context. The husband and wife are to treat one another with honor and respect. They are to understand that their relationship is God-ordained and that together they share in the grace of life.

Peter concludes his remarks to husbands with an interesting word of warning concerning unanswered prayer. He seems to indicate that if a husband does not live with his wife in an understanding way, showing her honor and treating her with respect, his prayers will go unanswered. This shows how important this matter is to God. To mistreat, undervalue or dishonor one’s wife is sin. Sin hampers and hinders our relationship with God. A believing husband who does not place the proper value on his wife cannot expect to be heard by God. When God looks at a marriage, He sees the two as one. He holds them both accountable. There was no doubt that those who came to faith in Peter’s day were faced with all kinds of difficulties in the form of trials, temptations and even persecution. But there would also have been potential conflict within the home. Christianity was bringing with it a certain degree of conflict, even between parents and children, husbands and wives. So Peter called men to love their wives, whether believing or lost, in a way that would please God and keep the channels of communication open between themselves and their heavenly Father.