self

The Sin of Self

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6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. – Titus 2:6-8 ESV

Paul has demanded that elder candidates be self-controlled – sōphrōn (1:8).

He has told Titus to teach older men in the church to exercise self-controlled – sōphrōn (2:2).

Titus was to instruct the older women to model for the younger women what it means to live self-controlled lives – sōphronizō (2:5).

Now, for the fourth time, Paul urges Titus to “urge the younger men to be self-controlled” – sōphroneō (2:6). Obviously, this was a crucial issue for Paul. His repetitive use of this word in a variety of its forms and tenses lets us know that Paul put a high priority on the issue of self-control. And, as was pointed out earlier, this is not actually about Christians attempting to master or control themselves, but about their willing submission to the Spirit’s direction over their lives and their total dependence upon His power to live in a way that honors and pleases God.

When a believer lives under the controlling influence of the Spirit of God, he or she receives the capacity to curb their normal sinful passions. Paul points that out in Galatians 5:16:

…let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. (NLT)

And he follows it up with the important reminder that “the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires” (Galatians 5:17 NLT). This is not just about controlling our sexual urges or immoral desires. The idea of self-control carries with it a sense of sober-mindedness or the ability to manage our thought processes. A sober-minded individual, who is living under the Spirit’s control, will experience a marked decrease in self-centered thought patterns. He won’t be self-possessed or think too highly of himself. Paul pointed this out to the believers in Rome.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment (sōphroneō), each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. – Romans 12:3 ESV

Paul was not the only apostle who put a high priority on self-control. Peter shared his concern and wrote, “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded (sōphroneō) …” (1 Peter 4:7 ESV). 

So, Paul’s seeming obsession with self-control is well-founded. It is to be a non-negotiable characteristic of the Christian life and an indispensable mark of godly leadership. People without this vital Christ-like character quality tend to live out of control, exhibiting selfish and self-centered traits that reveal that they are actually living under the influence of their sinful flesh and not the Spirit of God.

Failure to control the self is at the heart of all sin. Sin is nothing more than an attempt to satisfy self at the expense of others. You argue because you want to prove yourself right. You covet because you desire for your self what belongs to someone else.  You commit sexual sin to satisfy self.

After providing his long and infamous list of the deeds of the flesh to the Galatian believers, Paul wrote:

If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. – Galatians 5:25-26 ESV

Notice his emphasis on conceit or love of self. When the self rules, it’s like a wild, uncontrollable animal that has escaped its cage and is allowed to wreak havoc on all those around it. Self out of control is not only self-destructive, it is a menace to the body of Christ. It has no place within the context of the church.

And Paul urges Titus that young men are to be self-controlled “in all respects.” The awkward break between verses 6 and 7 should not be there. They convey one thought, and it is that young men are to practice self-control in every area of their lives. And Titus was to be a role model. Which is why Paul tells him, “you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind” (Titus 2:7 NLT). This is the same counsel Paul gave Timothy, his other young protégé.

Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them. Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. – 1 Timothy 4:11-12 NLT

Paul went on to challenge Titus, “Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching” (Titus 2:7 NLT). In other words, Titus was live out what he taught. The sad reality is that many Christian teachers tend to convey the idea, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Their words and their actions don’t line up. The beliefs they express and the behavior they exhibit don’t seem to match. There is a visible disconnect. But that should not be the case.

Titus’ life was to be a model of integrity and sincerity. He was to live up to the very things he taught. His life was to be a model of submission to the will of God as expressed in the Word of God. And Paul knew the best lesson for the younger men in the church was going to be the life of his young friend, Titus. And Paul warned him to “Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized” (Titus 2:8 NLT). Titus was to stick to the facts of the gospel, not adding to or adulterating it with his own opinions. He was not to play fast and loose with the truth of God’s Word as revealed through the teachings of Jesus Christ or His apostles.

Again, the key issue is that of self-control. If Titus was not careful, he could easily find self in control. When attached by unbelievers or false teachers, Titus could go into self-defense mode. When criticized by his older brothers and sisters in the church, Titus could struggle with self-doubt. When seeking out and appointing elders for the churches on Crete, Titus might be tempted to think too highly of self. In Paul’s absence, Titus had the privilege and responsibility of acting as the sole apostolic authority on the tiny island, a role which could have easily fed his sense of self-importance.  So, Paul reminds his young friend to stick to teaching the truth. He encourages him to live a life that models self-control. Why? So that “those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us” (Titus 2:8 NLT).

Love of self is antithetical to the Christ-like life. We are called to live selfless lives, focused on the cause of Christ and the needs of others. It is never to be about us. We are never to allow ourselves to become the center of attention or the focus of our thoughts. We are called to die to self. We are commanded to crucify self. We are encouraged to control self, and we have been given the indwelling power of the Spirit of God to make it possible. And we should be able to say, along with Paul, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 NLT).

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.s

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Self-glorification.

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For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. – 1 John 2:16 NLT

John provides us with a third and final symptom of someone who is having a love affair with the world or, better yet, a love affair with self. Each of the three reflect an unhealthy infatuation with self that simply uses the world as a means to feed our sin nature. The world, while more than willing to accommodate our self-infatuation, doesn’t do so because it loves us, but because it hates us. In this case, it willingly feeds our ego and helps create in us a false sense of inflated self-worth and pride based on what we own or what we have accomplished. What we have achieved or accumulated in life become the measuring rods of our success. The old adage, “clothes make the man” becomes true in our life. The cars we drive becomes a symbols of our success. Our homes become not just places of shelter, but visible representations of our status in society. As with the second one, the desires of the eyes, this one can be subtle because God does not forbid us from having nice things. He does not say, “You shalt not buy a new car.” He has not made material possessions off limits. But the issue here is pride or self-glorification. It is about making much of self. And when we begin to use position or possessions to determine our self-worth, we are treading on dangerous ground. Self-glorification is a subtle, yet dangerous pursuit, and the enemy has been feeding man’s built-in tendency towards it since the beginning. When Satan tempted Adam and Eve in the garden, he used the phrase, “you will be like God.” The fruit wasn’t the real temptation. It was the possibility of possessing what God possessed. He was tempting them to become their own gods. At the heart of John’s warning regarding the pride of life is self-glorification – wanting what only God should have. It is about seeking glory for yourself. It is about seeing yourself as the center of your own universe. And Satan feeds this desire by telling us lies about ourselves. His goal is our independence from God. Self-sufficiency is his objective. He wants us to live as if we don’t need God. And he uses the things of this world to convince us that we are something special. We end up wanting what only God should have: glory. And Satan whispers in our ears that we deserve it. We have earned it.

It is interesting to note that King Solomon took seven years to build the Temple, the house of God. But he took 13 years to build his own palace. Some time later, when he was visited by the Queen of Sheba, she was blown away by all that she saw. “And when the queen of Sheba had seen all the wisdom of Solomon, the house that he had built, the food of his table, the seating of his officials, and the attendance of his servants, their clothing, his cupbearers, and his burnt offerings that he offered at the house of the Lord, there was no more breath in her. And she said to the king, ‘The report was true that I heard in my own land of your words and of your wisdom, but I did not believe the reports until I came and my own eyes had seen it. And behold, the half was not told me. Your wisdom and prosperity surpass the report that I heard. Happy are your men! Happy are your servants, who continually stand before you and hear your wisdom! Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delighted in you and set you on the throne of Israel! Because the Lord loved Israel forever, he has made you king, that you may execute justice and righteousness’” (1 Kings 10:4-9 ESV). Do you notice that the queen seems to be worshiping Solomon and not God? She is blown away by Solomon, not Solomon’s God. She is impressed with Solomon’s wisdom and wealth. In reality, she seems to saying that God was fortunate to have someone like Solomon to lead His people.

When the people of Israel were getting ready to enter into the land of Canaan, God gave them a warning. He had already promised that He would give them the land, but He wanted them to be extremely careful. So He said, “when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you – with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord…” (Deuteronomy 6:10-12 ESV). Interestingly enough, God’s warning ultimately had to do with worshiping false gods. And it would begin as soon as they began to forget the Lord their God. When they began to believe that their houses, vineyards, cities, and material possessions were their own doing and had not been provided by God, they would forget Him. Self-worship always leads to false worship. We end up making much of the things God has provided rather than making much of Him. The glorification of self is a dangerous pursuit. Our confidence is to be in God, not self. Our hope is to be in God, not things. Our sense of worth is to be found in God, not material possessions. May we share the perspective of the apostle Paul: “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:12-13 ESV).

Misplaced Love.

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Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. – 1 John 2:10 ESV

John has made it perfectly clear that, as children of God who enjoy the love of God, we are expected to share that love with one another. We are to love as we have been loved. When we allow the love of God to flow through us, His love is perfected or completed in us. We become conduits of His love to those around us. Paul tells us, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). Jesus was the expression of God’s love. He made God’s love visible, tangible, touchable and knowable. In the garden on the night He would be betrayed, Jesus prayed to His Father, “I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your love for me will be in them, and I will be in them” (John 17:26 NLT). Jesus revealed God. That was an act of love. He shared God’s love with those who desperately needed it. And we are to do the same thing. But the problem is, we can easily misplace and misuse our love.

John warned his readers that love for their brothers and sisters was going to have competition. There was going to be the temptation to share their love in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. He wrote, “Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world” (1 John 2:15-16 NLT). In reality, he warns them, love of the world is not really misplaced love, it is an altogether different kind of love. It isn’t God’s love flowing through us. It is a self-centered, self-absorbed kind of love that uses and abuses. It is a love of self, not a love for others. And it is the greatest danger we face as believers. It is why Jesus prayed, “I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one” (John 17:15 NLT). Jesus knew that we would be under constant attack and face the unrelenting temptation to love this world and the things it has to offer. The enemy wants to keep our focus on ourselves, on our personal pleasures, rights, and needs, all the while feeding our sense of self-importance. While God wants us to learn to die to self, Satan wants to keep us self-obsessed. The three areas John warns us about all have to do with self – “a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions” (1 John 2:16 NLT). In essence, it isn’t really a love of the world as much as it is a love of self. It is all about self-gratification, feeding our sinful desires; self-indulgence, fulfilling our insatiable appetite for more; and self-glorification, making more of ourselves than we do of others, or even God.

When we love the world, we get something in return. It feeds our appetites. It fuels our desire for more. It makes us feel important, significant, and somehow accepted. But as John says, these things “are not from the Father, but are from this world” (1 John 2:16 NLT). This isn’t the love of God flowing through us. This is the love of self sucking anything and everything back into itself like a black hole. That kind of love becomes deadly and destructive. The Dead Sea is a beautiful body of water, but it is a beauty that is deceptive. It is a sea with fresh, clean water flowing in, but no outlet for the water to flow out. So it sits and stagnates, absorbing all the minerals and salts from the surrounding soil, creating a deadly environment where nothing grows. the water is undrinkable and incapable of sustaining life. What an apt illustration of the Christian who allows the life-giving love of God to flow into his life, but never shares it with those around him. His love of self motivates him to keep it to himself, and his desire for self-gratification, self-indulgence and self-glorification causes him to seek from the world a false kind of love that has no outlet and leads to death. We were meant to love. We were intended to share the love we have received with those around us. Jesus told the woman at the well, “whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14 ESV). Springs give life. They are fresh and refreshing to those around them. They restore and renew. They flow out, never becoming stale or stagnant, receiving a never-ending supply from a source that remains hidden from view. That is the life we have been called to live. But when we fall in love with self and allow ourselves to believe that the world loves us because it feeds our basest appetites, we misplace our love and run the risk of becoming life-robbing, rather than life-sustaining.

2 Chronicles 12

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You’ve Got To Serve Somebody

“But they will become his subjects, so that they can learn how much better it is to serve me than to serve earthly rulers.” ­– 2 Chronicles 12:8 NLT

The first verse of this chapter could be the description of the lives of many of us as God’s children. “But when Rehoboam was firmly established and strong, he abandoned the law of the LORD, and all Israel followed him in this sin.” Just when things began to stabilize in his kingdom after the nasty split with the northern tribes, Rehoboam finds himself getting fat and happy. Things had settles down. His kingdom began to stabilize and his confidence began to grow. He had lost a big part of his kingdom, but he still had the tribe of Judah and the city of Jerusalem with the temple of the Lord. So just as things were looking up, Rehoboam stopped looking up – at the Lord. He took His eyes off the very one who gave his life stability. It says he abandoned the law of the Lord. In other words, he decided to abandon God and His ways. The Hebrew word used for “abandoned” is azab and it means “to leave, abandon, forsake.” It is the picture of a servant walking out on his master, abandoning his responsibilities, and deserting his post. Rehoboam had decided he did not want to serve God anymore. He wanted to serve himself. Isn’t that what sin is all about? Self-serving. It is making everything about us. We become the focus of our world. We make ourselves the gods of our own lives. Our wills become more important than God’s. But Rehoboam was going to find out the hard way that every man ends up serving somebody or something – and it is NEVER ourselves. For Rehoboam it would be King Shishak of Egypt. When he came against Jerusalem with his 1,200 chariots and 60,000 horsemen, capturing with ease all the cities that Rehoboam had spent money and time fortifying, it got the peoples’ attention. And they humbled themselves before the Lord. But God knew they had a lot to learn, so He was going to allow them to become slaves to King Shishak, all so that they could “learn the difference between serving me and serving human kings” (2 Chronicles 12:8 NLT).

Ultimately, God wants His people to serve Him. We exist for Him, not Him for us. We have been created by Him and for Him. Yet we so often buy into the lie that God exists for our benefit and to bring us glory. And when He doesn’t serve us in the way we would like, we turn our backs on Him and decide to serve ourselves. We resort to “self-help” or better yet “self-service.” We become the focus of our world. We become the star of our play. We become central and God becomes secondary. But Rehoboam was going to learn that when all is said and done, we all have to serve somebody. We are going to serve God or we are going to serve somebody or something else. We never really do get to serve ourselves. It reminds me of a song written by Bob Dylan during the period of his life when he supposedly “got saved.” The lyrics are simple, yet profound.

Gotta Serve Somebody

You may be an ambassador to England or France
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls

You might be a rock ’n’ roll addict prancing on the stage
You might have drugs at your command, women in a cage
You may be a businessman or some high-degree thief
They may call you Doctor or they may call you Chief

You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk
You may be the head of some big TV network
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame
You may be living in another country under another name

You may be a construction worker working on a home
You may be living in a mansion or you might live in a dome
You might own guns and you might even own tanks
You might be somebody’s landlord, you might even own banks

You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride
You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side
You may be workin’ in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair
You may be somebody’s mistress, may be somebody’s heir

Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk
Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk
You might like to eat caviar, you might like to eat bread
You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed

But you’re gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You’re gonna have to serve somebody
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you’re gonna have to serve somebody

You’re gonna have to serve somebody. The reality of life in this world is that even the things you think are there to serve you end up becoming your master. Your money ends up controlling you. Your possessions end up possessing you. We become slaves of the very things we thought would serve us. We end up not being able to live without them. It’s all like taking a drug for pleasure only to have it become an addiction, controlling your life and destroying your future. We all have to serve somebody. Who are you going to serve? That was the question Joshua asked the people of Israel right before he died. And it’s still the question that each of us needs to consider each day of our lives. “But if you are unwilling to serve the LORD, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15 NLT).

Father, I have believed the lie so many times that I can be the center of my world. I convince myself so often that everything and everyone is here to serve me. But You have called me to serve You. You have called me to be a servant of others. Never let me lose sight of my role as Your servant. I exist for you and not vice versa. I don’t want to spend my life serving anything or anyone else but You. Amen

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org