unconfessed sin

The Complexity of Sin.

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Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.”

When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the Lord for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon. – 2 Samuel 3:22-30 ESV

Sin is simple to commit. For most of us, it comes far easier than we would like. We can find ourselves committing sins as the result of the slightest temptation. But the ramifications of sin are rarely simple or easy. Sins can be addictive and habit-forming, with one leading to another, then another. And our own sins can lead others to sin. That happens to be the case in these verses concerning David, Abner and Joab. David, in his desire to have Michal, his first wife, returned to him, made an unwise decision that was non-sanctioned by God. In exchange for Michal and the allegiance of the rest of the tribes of Israel, DAvid made an alliance with Abner, the former commander-in-chief of Saul’s army. This was the very same man who had convinced Saul’s son, Ish-bosheth, to claim the throne as the rightful heir of Saul. Abner, without God’s counsel of approval, appointed Ish-bosheth king of the Benjaminites and all the other tribes of Israel. In doing so, he stood against not only David, but God, who had chosen David to be Saul’s replacement. Abner did not do what he did in ignorance, because he had told the elders of Israel:

“For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. Now then bring it about, for the Lord has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.’” – 2 Samuel 3:16-17 ESV

His decision to make Ish-bosheth king of Israel was an act of rebellion, against the God-ordained choice of David as king. And yet, David, in his desire to get his wife back and in hopes of solidifying the kingdom, made an agreement with Abner.

When Joab, a commander in David’s army, returned from battle with his troops, he heard the news of what David had done and was shocked. He even confronted David, saying, “What have you done? What do you mean by letting Abner get away? You know perfectly well that he came to spy on you and find out everything you’re doing!” (2 Samuel 3:24-25 NLT). Joab was not only appalled by David’s naiveté, but with his insensitivity to what Abner had done to his brother, Asahel. From Joab’s point of view, David should have been seeking to punish Abner for murder, not making alliances with him. And it’s interesting to note that Abner, upon leaving David’s company, made his way to Hebron, a city of refuge. God had commanded that the Israelites establish six cities of refuge within the promised land.

When you cross the Jordan into the land of Canaan, designate cities of refuge to which people can flee if they have killed someone accidentally. These cities will be places of protection from a dead person’s relatives who want to avenge the death. The slayer must not be put to death before being tried by the community.  – Numbers 35:10-12 NLT

Notice the very important qualifier: “if they have killed someone by accident.” This had not been the case in Abner’s killing of Asahel. He had run Asahel through with the butt-end of a spear. There was nothing about it that had been accidental. And yet, Abner, knowing that Joab would be seeking vengeance for the death of his brother, sought refuge in Hebron. Once again, our sins have a way of not only expanding, but of infecting those around us. David’s lust for Michal, who had remarried and was therefore off limits for David, caused him to make an unwise allegiance with Abner. Rather than punish him for his murder of Asahel, David rewarded him with freedom. Which then caused Joab to take matters into his own hands. He did what David had been unwilling to do. And what he did was in keeping with the commands of God. Consider carefully what God had said about the matter:

But if he struck him down with an iron object, so that he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. And if he struck him down with a stone tool that could cause death, and he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. 18 Or if he struck him down with a wooden tool that could cause death, and he died, he is a murderer. The murderer shall be put to death. The avenger of blood shall himself put the murderer to death; when he meets him, he shall put him to death. And if he pushed him out of hatred or hurled something at him, lying in wait, so that he died, or in enmity struck him down with his hand, so that he died, then he who struck the blow shall be put to death. He is a murderer. The avenger of blood shall put the murderer to death when he meets him. – Numbers 35:16-21 ESV

Abner deserved death for what he had done, not a get-out-of-jail-free card from the king. Joab did what David should have done. But in his life, David showed a disinclination to deal with those whose actions deserved judgment. When Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar, David did nothing to punish him. When Absalom, Tamar’s brother, arranged for the murder of Amnon, David did nothing. Years later, after David had allowed Absalom to return to Jerusalem, unpunished, Absalom fomented a rebellion against his own father. And what did David do? He abandoned the city. He gave up. He walked away.

It’s interesting to note that, if David believed what Joab did to Abner was wrong, he did nothing about it. Rather than punish Joab, he pronounced a curse on he and his family, saying:

“Joab and his family are the guilty ones. May the family of Joab be cursed in every generation with a man who has open sores or leprosy or who walks on crutches or dies by the sword or begs for food!” – 2 Samuel 3:29 NLT

David placed all the blame of Joab. He distanced himself from what had just happened. This was probably great political policy, since David was attempting to establish his kingdom, and he feared the reactions of the Benjaminites when they heard of Abner’s death. But David’s curse on Joab appears to be completely uncalled for and without divine authorization. Abner had been a traitor and a murderer. He had led a rebelli0n against the God-ordained king of Israel. Rather than face capture, he had brutally murdered his pursuer, Asahal. And according to the command of God, he deserved death. In fact, David had violated the very word of God by making his agreement with Abner. In essence, he had allowed Abner to buy his way out of his guilt. Listen to what God has to say about that:

Also, you must never accept a ransom payment for the life of someone judged guilty of murder and subject to execution; murderers must always be put to death. And never accept a ransom payment from someone who has fled to a city of refuge, allowing a slayer to return to his property before the death of the high priest. – Numbers 35:31-32 NLT

The truly fascinating thing about all of this will be David’s reaction to the death of Abner. How much of it is based on political posturing, we will never know. Was David simply attempting to win over the northern tribes by assuring them of his love for Abner? Only David and God know for sure. But suffice it to say that David showed far more sadness over the death of Abner than he did of Asahel, one of his own men, who had been murdered by Abner. There is no record of David having mourned Asahel’s death. No tears were shed. No memorial service was held. And yet, we will see David go out of his way to memorialize and eulogize the death of a traitor and a murderer.

Sin has a way of growing, like a cancer. Unchecked, it can spread, infecting our life and destroying our spiritual health. Not only that, it can contaminate those around us. It is never simple or easily controlled. We may think we have a handle on our sin and are able to manage it, but we are deluded and naive. Sin is dangerous and deadly. And when we attempt to apply logic to our sins in order to rationalize our behavior, we run the risk of opening the door to additional and even more deadly forms of rebellion against God.

The apostle John gives us some sobering counsel regarding the sin in our lives:

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. – 1 John 1:8-10 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

The Danger of Deception.

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If say we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. – 1 John 1:10 ESV

Three different times in 1 John 1:5-2:2, John uses the phrase, “If we say…” And each is followed by a statement that reflects a certain viewpoint or perspective with which John has a point of conflict. It isn’t just that John disagrees with them, it is that he believes them to be outright lies, declarations of deception. It would appear that these three viewpoints were being lived out in the local fellowship to which John wrote. These were not simply scenarios concocted by John, but examples of real-life attitudes held by some who called themselves believers. The first John addresses has to do with those who try to deceive others. It has to do with behavior that doesn’t accurately mirror or reflect stated beliefs. “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (1 John 1:6 ESV). To claim to have fellowship with God while modeling behavior that is well outside His holy expectations for His children, we end up living a lie. We don’t DO the truth. When John speaks of walking in darkness, he uses the Greek word, peripateō. It means “to walk, to regulate one’s self, to pass one’s life.” And John seems to be using this word in the progressive or continuative sense. Accordingly, the NET Bible translates this line as, “If we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking  in the darkness.” It carries the idea of continual, habitual sin. It is to live one’s life characterized by sin. And yet John has said that “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5 ESV). So how can one claim to be in fellowship with Him, yet conduct their life as if His light never penetrates the darkness of their behavior. They claim one thing, but do another. They lie. All in an attempt to deceive others, to convince them that are something other than what they truly are. To live in darkness is to live without the benefit of the light of God in one’s life. To fellowship with God involves walking in the light – His light. It includes the bright illumination of His holy Word and the presence of His Holy Spirit. Fellowship with God will eliminate darkness by exposing sin and encouraging confession. To claim to have a relationship with God, while consistently living sinful, unrepentant lives, is to live a life marked by deceit and deception. It may be intended to garner acceptance and inclusion among those who truly love God. The object of the deception may be to feel a part of the faith community. But fellowship with God must include DOING the truth of God.

The second statement John addresses has to do with self deception. “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8 ESV). The claim of sinlessness seems ridiculous. That anyone would ever claim to be without sin after all God has had to say on the matter seems ludicrous. And even if you don’t accept God’s assessment on the matter, it would be difficult to conclude that sin either does not exist or that you don’t struggle with it. But the real issue here has to do with the rejection of the need for a Savior. Only sinners need a Savior. This second statement John addresses seems to reflect an attitude that contradicts John’s and God’s view of sin. These individuals did not believe their actions were sinful to begin with. They refused to admit that they were sinners and, as a result, proved that the truth was not in them. Had they had fellowship with God and been exposed to His light, they would have known their own sinfulness and their need for the salvation made available through Jesus Christ. As stated earlier, fellowship with God will eliminate darkness by exposing sin and encouraging confession. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV). A lack of recognition of our sin exposes a lack of light in our lives. Our sinfulness remains unexposed and, therefore, unconfessed. The result if self-deception, believing we are spiritually healthy and whole, while God sees us as sinful, condemned and worthy of death.

The final statement is the most serious of the three. The first two have to do with those who do not DO the truth or simply do not HAVE the truth of God within them. But the third statement seems to address those who have been confronted by the truth of God regarding their sin, but who refuse to accept it. They have had the light of God illuminate their sinfulness, but disagree with His assessment. “If we say we have NOT sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1 John 1:10 ESV). While this one sounds similar to the second statement, it would appear that it is speaking about specific sin, while the other was referring to general sin. The situation seems to indicate an individual who has had a particular sin exposed by God, but rather than agree with Him about it and confess it, they simply deny it. And in doing so, they call God the deceiver. He is the liar. They reject His declaration of their sinfulness and make Him out to be a liar. And John sadly concludes that the word of God is not in them. They not only do not practice the truth or have the truth within them, they lack the word, the logos of God. I am reminded of John’s opening statement in his gospel. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1 ESV). “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14 ESV). Without the Word in our lives, we lack the ability to see the sin in our lives. And even when confronted by God’s assessment of our sinful estate, we will reject it, making Him a liar. 

God has made the sinful state of man clear. His law proved it. All men stand before Him as sinful and guilty as charged. But God has also provided a solution to man’s sinful situation. “For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:3-4 ESV).

Proverbs 28b

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Honesty Really Is the Best Policy.

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” – Proverbs 28:13 NLT

Honesty. Transparency. Accountability.

Those are not particularly popular words among most Christians, especially those of the male variety. We have been raised to keep things close to the vest, not to let the other guy see our hand, and to never reveal a weakness to the competition. This attitude has resulted in a level of dishonesty and disingenuousness that is dangerous for us as believers. We have become masters at hiding our sins, masking our faults, and faking spirituality. We struggle with sin, but refuse to let anyone else know, even God. Yet, we are told, “if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9 NLT). In James we are told “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 1:15 NLT). Yet, we continue to cover up and gloss over our sins, allowing fear of rejection and our own stubborn pride prevent us from enjoying the life-giving benefits of confession.

Hiding your sins may fool others, but only ends up harming you. Unconfessed sin becomes like a deadly toxin in our soul, a cancer that slowly eats away at our lives from the inside out. It saps us of spiritual vitality, robs us of joy, and diminishes our capacity to receive and enjoy the love, grace, and mercy of God in our lives. Like a child who has done something wrong, we tend to ignore and avoid any contact with God because we feel guilty about what we have done. We hide rather than run to Him for forgiveness. When we are around fellow believers, we tend to put up a facade that all is well, refusing to let them know that we are struggling. When we do so, we miss out on their prayers, encouragement, and support. Confession is cathartic. There is something therapeutic about letting the cat out of the bag and allowing someone else to know our secret. The moment we share and allow someone else to know our struggle is when we begin the journey toward healing and recovery.

But while confession is essential, there is a second step that often gets left out. Admitting your sins to God or another Christ-follower is a huge step in the right direction, but it shouldn’t end there. This verse says, “if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy” (Proverbs 2813 NLT). The word “turn” is actually the Hebrew word azab, and it means “to depart from, leave behind, abandon.” This is a two step process. First, you have to admit your sin, then, you have to turn from it. To confess and continue in your sin is not enough. There have to be steps taken toward change. Even in the 1 John passage, there is an aspect of repentance built into the idea of confession. God forgives and cleanses, but He expects change. He expects us to turn from and abandon our sinful ways, not continue in them. “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts” (1 John 1:8-10 NLT). Confession is a lost art in the church today. As a result, many of us walk around with unconfessed sin that is destroying our lives and damaging our walk with God. It puts up barriers between ourselves and other believers. We end up living fake, opaque lives that prevent anyone from seeing what we’re really like. And the silly part is that we all know that we all sin. There is no one without sin. So confession should not be a shock. The content of our confession may be, but God is greater than our greatest sin. He is able to forgive any transgression, no matter how large. We should be able to hear and lovingly accept the confession of any believer, no matter how a shock to our system it may be. Their openness is a key to the Body’s oneness. Our acceptance and love is a sign that we are truly Christ’s disciples. Honesty, transparency and accountability are the best policy for us as believers.

Father, break down the walls. Help us get rid of our stubborn pride and resistance to admitting our sins one to another. Create a transparency in the church like we’ve never seen before, and let it begin with me. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org