Conflicted, But Confident

18 Yes, and I will rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. Philippians 1:18-26 ESV

Paul opens this section of his letter by reconfirming his determination to rejoice in his circumstances. While news of his imprisonment had disturbed the believers in Philippi, for Paul it had been just another God-ordained opportunity to spread the gospel. If others attempted to take advantage of his situation by serving as messengers in his absence, so be it. As long as Christ was being lifted up, Paul was perfectly okay with it all, even if some of these people were motivated by envy rather than a sincere love for the lost.

Paul knew that any success he enjoyed in his ministry had not been because of his powers of persuasion, but because of the power of the gospel. In writing to the believers in Thessalonica, Paul reminded them of the treatment he and Silas had suffered in Philippi because of their preaching of the gospel. Not long after their arrival there, they had cast out a demon from a young slave girl. With the exorcism of the demon, she lost her ability to act as a fortune teller for her masters, and they lost a much-needed source of revenue. In an act of revenge, they grabbed Paul and Silas and dragged them before the magistrates of the city, where the two men were severely beaten and thrown in jail. Paul reminds the Thessalonian believers that all of this had taken place just before he arrived in their town.

You yourselves know, dear brothers and sisters, that our visit to you was not a failure. You know how badly we had been treated at Philippi just before we came to you and how much we suffered there. Yet our God gave us the courage to declare his Good News to you boldly, in spite of great opposition. So you can see we were not preaching with any deceit or impure motives or trickery.

For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts. Never once did we try to win you with flattery, as you well know. And God is our witness that we were not pretending to be your friends just to get your money! As for human praise, we have never sought it from you or anyone else. – 1 Thessalonians 2:1-6 NLT

Despite all that had happened in Philippi, Paul and his companions boldly declared the gospel in Thessalonica, even in the face of opposition. They did so, not for money or the praise of men, but to please God as His faithful messengers. So, Paul was unconcerned with the motives of others. As long as they were preaching salvation by faith alone in Christ alone, he was satisfied and could rejoice. He was not in the ministry for what he could get out of it. For him, it was a calling, not a job, and He never saw himself as a gifted spokesman using his talents to further the Kingdom of God. He even describes himself as nothing more than a fragile clay jar containing the treasure of the gospel message (2 Corinthians 4:7). When he wrote to the Corinthian believers, he reminded them that their conversions were due to the power of the Spirit, not his own eloquence.

When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn’t use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God’s secret plan. For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified. I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God. – 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 NLT

But as Paul wrote to the Philippian believers from his house arrest in Rome, he divulged the tremendous internal conflict he was having. It had nothing to do with a fear of death; he knew that was a possible outcome of his pending trial before Nero, and he was perfectly at peace with that. In fact, he flatly stated, “My desire is to depart and be with Christ” (Philippians 1:23 ESV). He saw death as a reward, not a punishment. But he also struggled with the desire to continue his ministry among the churches he had helped to start. As much as he longed to be with the Lord, he also felt that his work on Christ’s behalf was far from over. That’s why he told the Philippians, “I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith” (Philippians 1:25 NLT).

One thing motivated Paul’s actions and attitude: bringing glory to the name of Christ. If he could do that through deliverance from prison and a continuation of his ministry, so be it. But if his trial resulted in a death sentence, he saw that as a gracious deliverance by God from this sin-marred world. When all was said and done, Paul simply wanted to honor Christ in all that he did, which is why he stated, “I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die” (Philippians 1:20 NLT).

Paul was not making much of himself. He was not bragging about his superior spirituality or attempting to set himself up as an icon of righteousness and religious virtue. He was attempting to encourage the believers in Philippi to share his perspective on life. He didn’t view his arrest and imprisonment as a setback or a sign of God’s disfavor; he sincerely believed that it was all a part of God’s will for his life. By maintaining his focus on Christ and trusting God’s will, Paul had “learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11 NLT). That is why he could say, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:12 NLT).

He knew the Philippian believers were facing their own set of difficulties. They would have to struggle in their faith journey, just as he had. He wanted them to stay strong, to remain committed to the cause of Christ, and to see God’s sovereign hand in all that happened in and around their lives.

Paul was convinced that he would be released and would one day see them again. But in the meantime, he wanted to encourage them to persevere. Later in this letter, Paul writes these powerful words of testimony and encouragement.

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us… – Philippians 3:14 NLT

Then he follows up this statement of personal conviction and commitment with a call for them to follow his lead.

Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. – Philippians 3:17 NLT

In the verses that follow, Paul provides the Philippians with specific details concerning the conduct of all who claim heavenly citizenship as God’s children. Their journey of faith would be easy or trouble-free, but God had equipped each of them with the indwelling Holy Spirit and placed them in the body of Christ.  They had all the resources they needed to thrive, not just survive what lay ahead.

Paul was torn between two opinions; he was ready to see his Lord and Savior face to face, but he was also anxious to continue his ministry of exhortation and evangelization around the world. He was prepared to face the ongoing struggles of doing God’s will in a fallen world, but he considered death as a promotion, not a punishment. So, whether he faced a long life of service to God marked by pain, persecution, and opposition, or if his next step was heaven, he would rejoice because he was in God’s good and gracious hands.

Father, it’s difficult to understand how Paul could so calmly and confidently state his willingness to continue suffering for the cause of Christ or to face death by execution at the hands of the Romans. It makes him sound like some kind of super saint or, at worst, an overly zealous disciple with a death wish. But he was sincere and meant every word he said. I can’t imagine undergoing a fraction of what he suffered in serving You. I am quick to complain about the smallest setback and reluctant to do anything that might cause me the slightest inconvenience. Yet, as Paul suffered a prolonged confinement in Rome, he wrote some of his powerful and impactful letters. He regularly shared the gospel with all those he met, including the Roman guards who kept him imprisoned. He prayed, not for his release, but for the wellbeing of other believers as they attempted to navigate life in a fallen world. He was the consummate shepherd and a faithful messenger who took his role seriously. He loved life, not because of the personal pleasures it afforded him, but because of the opportunities it provided for sharing the gospel. He longed for death, not because it would provide an escape from the trials of this world but because it would reunite him with Your Son for eternity. Open my eyes, so that I might see life and death the way Paul did. I don’t want to simply admire his dedication and determination; I want to embrace it for as many days as You give me on this earth. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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