2 Corinthians 7

Tough Love Isn’t Easy, But It’s Necessary

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10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. 13 Therefore we are comforted.

And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you. – 2 Corinthians 7:10-16 ESV

Something had happened within the church at Corinth. A situation had occurred that compelled Paul to write a now-lost letter. In that letter, he had been forced to confront the issue.

I wrote to you so that in the sight of God you could see for yourselves how loyal you are to us.– 2 Corinthians 7:12 ESV

Paul says the purpose behind writing his confrontational letter was to reveal to them just how loyal they were to him and his leadership. Evidently, the individual to whom Paul refers had been critical of his ministry and authority, and “the one who suffered the wrong” had been Paul himself.

Paul always had critics; there was no shortage of those who questioned his apostleship or argued against his authority. Whoever this individual was, he had been misleading the church and undermining all the work Paul had done there. So, in this follow-up letter, Paul responds to the Corinthians after hearing back from Titus, whom he had sent to check on the situation firsthand. The report from Titus was encouraging.

“Therefore we are comforted,” Paul proudly states. Titus had informed him that the Corinthians had remained committed to his teaching and leadership. In fact, Paul states that any grief or sorrow his letter might have produced “leads us away from sin and results in salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT). That is why he can refer to it as godly sorrow, rather than worldly sorrow. The sorrow associated with this world can only produce disappointment and, ultimately, death. Sorrow over sin that does not result in a willingness to repent of it is non-productive and unhelpful. Sorrow over sin that does not drive us to the foot of the cross for cleansing by Christ’s blood can never produce life. Worldly sorrow can only produce despair, resentment, anger, and a growing callousness. We find ourselves becoming less and less sorrowful over our sin, finally reaching the point where we claim that we have not sinned at all.

But for believers, godly sorrow produces repentance, and repentance leads to forgiveness. Paul points out that the Corinthians’ sorrow had a positive outcome.

Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right. – 2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT

Paul’s earlier letter had produced a sorrow that revealed their desire to do what was right. They had been saddened at the thought that their actions had caused Paul pain, and were motivated to show him that they remained faithful to him. It alarmed them that their behavior had led Paul to question their loyalty, and they realized they had been lax in dealing with the one causing the trouble.  All Paul had done was point out their sin; the Holy Spirit had done the rest. The Spirit had used Paul’s words to convict the Corinthians, and the outcome had been their repentance and the restoration of their relationship with Paul.

Paul even comments that Titus had been encouraged by his visit to check on the Corinthians. He states, “his spirit has been refreshed by you all” (2 Corinthians 7:13b ESV). Titus returned joyful and told Paul that all his boasts about the Corinthians had been true.

Paul ends this section of his letter by telling them, “I have complete confidence in you” (2 Corinthians 7:16 ESV). It is the same way he started his letter.

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride on your behalf. I am filled with encouragement; I am overflowing with joy in the midst of all our suffering. – 2 Corinthians 7:4 NET

Paul was greatly encouraged by the news that the Corinthians had not wandered away from the faith or rejected his role as their spiritual father. He had a deep longing to see them grow spiritually, and a father’s heart that desired to protect his spiritual children from harm and to keep them from straying away from the truth. So the news that they remained faithful was enough to help Paul endure the trials and troubles he faced as he continued to share the gospel throughout Macedonia and the surrounding regions.

He could rest easy knowing that his flock in Corinth remained safe and secure. His loving confrontation had led to their sorrow and repentance, and their repentance had resulted in their salvation; they had been rescued or delivered from a potentially destructive path. Because of Paul’s love and with the Holy Spirit’s help, they had been able to make a course correction and return to the path God had intended for them to follow.

But what if Paul had never written that now-missing letter? What if he had chosen to ignore their sin and had refused to confront them because he didn’t want to offend them? Love is not the same as tolerance. Godly love is willing to say the hard thing. It compassionately confronts and affectionately admonishes. Allowing a brother or sister in Christ to continue in sin because you don’t want to offend them isn’t love. That would be like allowing your child to play in the street because you don’t want to spoil their fun. Your fear that your child will see you as a spoilsport is not good parenting, and it certainly isn’t love. In fact, it’s a subtle and dangerous form of child abuse. Godly love is willing to disappoint and even to produce hostility as long as it results in godly sorrow, which leads to repentance and life.

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. – James 5:19-20 NLT

Father, tough love is hard. Our innate desire to be liked by others prevents us from loving them the same way You love us. You refuse to tolerate our sin or allow us to make our personal pleasure our top priority. It’s not that You isolate us from temptation or innoculate us from sin’s influence; it’s that You use Your Holy Spirit to confront and convict us when we do sin. You lovingly expose our acts of rebellion and call us to repent of them. And that is what Paul did with the Corinthians. He loved them too much to tolerate their ungodly behavior. He was willing to risk losing their affection to keep them from damaging their relationship with You. Their spiritual well-being meant more to him than their friendship. But it is so easy to see our tolerance of one another’s sins as somehow loving. We convince ourselves we are just being patient and non-judgmental. But Peter said, “the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God’s household” (1 Peter 4:17 NLT). The Proverbs states, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6 NLT). Give me the strength to love others well by making their holiness a higher priority than their happiness. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Good Grief

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2 Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have taken advantage of no one. 3 I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. 4 I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.

5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. 8 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. 9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. – 2 Corinthians 7:2-9 ESV

Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians, which has long been lost. It was evidently written sometime between 1 Corinthians and 2 Corinthians and contained some difficult topics that Paul was forced to address. In writing the letter, Paul was concerned that its tone and content would be poorly received by them. But he was encouraged to learn that, while the letter did grieve the Corinthians, it led to their repentance.

Paul’s intentions were always for the best. He loved ministering to the churches he had helped plant, and was zealous to both encourage and convict. He never meant to hurt, deceive, or take advantage of anyone. Each of his letters was couched in love. Yes, they sometimes contained tough words that had a convicting influence because Paul was not one to pull punches or worry about political correctness. He could be painfully blunt and direct, speaking with “great boldness” (2 Corinthians 7:4 ESV).

Even amid trials and difficulties, Paul found joy in knowing that the believers in Corinth received his last letter appropriately and were responding properly. This news made the difficult circumstances he encountered in Macedonia easier to endure. He was encouraged and comforted. The good news he received from Titus of their longing for him, sadness at hearing of his troubles, and strong desire to see him again was a boost to his system. Rather than being angry at him for his previous letter, they missed him.

Paul alludes to the fact that his most recent missionary journey had been anything but easy. He states that while traveling through the region of Macedonia, “our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within” (2 Corinthians 7:5 ESV). He doesn’t elaborate on the nature of the struggles he encountered, but they had caused him to fear, even for his own life. Paul was used to facing opposition and, on more than one occasion, found himself leaving a city with a crowd in hot pursuit, seeking to take his life. But it was all worth it if he could see people come to faith in Christ and have the privilege of helping new believers grow in their faith.

That is why their positive reception of his previous letter meant so much to him. Their repentance was what his heart longed for and was the reason he had written the letter in the first place. While he felt some regret for having to write the letter, he knew it was for their own good.

Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. – 2 Corinthians 7:9 NLT

Tough love is hard to administer and equally difficult to accept. But Paul had been motivated by his love for them and a deep desire for them to recognize their sin, repent of it, and enjoy the restoration that only God can bring.

Paul’s letter had left them feeling bad, but in the end, it produced a grief that led to their repentance. The truth is, each of us, as believers, should long to have our sins exposed so that we might repent of them and enjoy the forgiveness that comes with confession. The apostle John reminds us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NLT). But to confess our sins, we first have to be made aware of their existence. Sometimes this happens as the result of a loving friend, who, like Paul, is willing to speak truth into our lives. At other times, our sins are exposed to us through the Word of God by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit who resides within us.

If repentance is so vital to restoration, it would seem we would want God to reveal to us any sins we are ignorant of and unable to see. That is what led King David to pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT).

The exposure of our sins, while unpleasant, is critical to our ongoing transformation into the likeness of Christ. Asking God to “point out anything that offends” Him is risky, but well worth it. When it comes to sin, ignorance is not bliss; it is false to assume that what we don’t know can’t hurt us. Unknown sin becomes unresolved sin, and unresolved sin leaves us in an unrepentant state. As long as we remain unrepentant, we cannot enjoy the full joy of our relationship with God. And as Paul will elaborate on in the following verses, there really is a good grief, a godly grief that produces good results.

Father, nobody likes to have their faults pointed out; it makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. Yet, You provided believers with the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin so that we might so that we might repent and enjoy the forgiveness Your Son made possible with His death on the cross. In this life, sin is a constant reality; we can’t escape it. However, we can have victory over it because its power was destroyed by Christ. He defeated sin and death when He rose from the grave. But the sad reality is that we still sin, sometimes willingly and knowingly, and, at other times, in ignorance. But if we confess our sin, You are faithful and just to forgive them because Your Son gave His life to pay the penalty for them. So, there is no reason I should not seek to have all my sins exposed so that I receive all the forgiveness Christ died to provide. With that in mind, may I learn to make the prayer of Paul a regular part of my life. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23-24 NLT). Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

2 Corinthians 7

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Godly Sorrow.

2 Corinthians 7

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT

When one of my kids was just a little boy, and he would do something that resulted in my disappointment and his potential punishment, he would always respond in the same way. He would immediately say, “I’m sorry, dad!” Not once, but repeatedly – one right after the other. “I’m sorry, dad! Dad, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He seemed to believe that the more times he professed his sorrow, the more readily I would accept his apology and forego any kind of punishment. But while his apologies were always fervent, they were rarely sincere. There was one thing usually missing: Any sense of repentance. Oh, there was regret. He really was sorry. But only that he had been caught. He wasn’t sorry for what he had done. In fact, given enough time, he would usually repeat the same act again and follow it up with the same repetitive claim of sorrowful regret when found out.

Paul had had to write a “severe letter” to the church in Corinth. We are not told what the content or context of that letter entailed, but it had not been easy for Paul to write it. He had referred to this letter before by saying, “I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn’t want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT). The letter to which Paul is referring is not 1 Corinthians. It is a letter he penned sometime between the writing of 1st and 2nd Corinthians. In that lost third letter, Paul had reluctantly addressed some issues going on in the Corinthian church. After it was sent, he even went through some regret, fearing what he had said would prove to be too harsh and painful. But when he finally received word that his letter had produced repentance and changed behavior, he was glad he had sent it. What Paul had wanted all along from the Corinthians is the same thing I wanted from my son: Repentance. Godly sorrow – a sorrow that is produced in the life of an individual by God – always produces repentance, and repentance results in a change in behavior. The Greek word that Paul uses here that is translated repentance, actually means “to change one’s mind.” It conveys the idea of reversing your stance on an issue and admitting the error of your way. As a result, repentance results in a change in behavior. The sorrow Paul’s letter produced in the Corinthians was godly sorrow because it “leads us away from sin and results in salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT). The salvation Paul is talking about here is not eternal salvation, but a temporal salvation or deliverance from a bad situation. This kind of sorrow comes without regret. Too often, we are only sorry for the effects our sins have produced or for the inconvenience of having been caught. But regret and repentance are not the same thing. Regret rarely produces a change in behavior because it never touches the heart. Worldly sorrow lacks repentance, and it leads to spiritual death in the form of resentment and bitterness.

It’s fairly easy to spot the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. Paul described it this way: “Just see what this godly sorrow produced in you! Such earnestness, such concern to clear yourselves, such indignation, such alarm, such longing to see me, such zeal, and such a readiness to punish wrong. You showed that you have done everything necessary to make things right” (2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT). Their sorrow produced a change in mind, which led to a change in behavior. They wanted to set things right. Their sorrow wasn’t short-lived, but long-lasting and real. “It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have” (2 Corinthians 7:9 NLT). Ultimately, God wants to bring joy to our lives, but sometimes He must begin the process by producing in us godly sorrow. We must learn to change our minds and see things from His perspective instead of our own. We must see sin the way He does. We must agree with His assessment of our lives and confess our sin and turn from it. We must repent. Godly sorrow produces repentance and results in a transformation in our character and conduct. And that’s something we will never end up regretting.

Father, thank You for lovingly bringing me so often to a point of godly sorrow. It is not something I pursue or desire. But I need it. I need Your help in changing my mind and seeing things from Your perspective. Too often, I can learn to view my behavior as perfectly fine and justify my actions as righteous and good. But then You convict me through Your Word and reveal the truth about my heart. That sorrow then produces repentance and result in a change in my behavior. Yes, it hurts, but it’s always for my good and results in Your glory. So don’t stop. Amen.

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org