rebuke

Tough Love

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23 But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. 24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.

1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 ESV

Even as an apostle of Jesus Christ, Paul did not see himself as spiritually superior to the Corinthians. He viewed himself as their ally and an asset to their spiritual development. He claims, “we work with you for your joy” (2 Corinthians 1:24 ESV). He, Silas, and Timothy were tools in God’s hands, used by Him to assist the Corinthians in their growth and development. And despite the issues within the Corinthian church, Paul still believed they were firm in their faith. This made his decision to delay his visit easier, and he believed it was God’s will.

But there was another reason he postponed his visit: to keep from causing them pain and sorrow. Evidently, Paul had made a second visit to Corinth sometime between his original visit when he helped establish the church there. It was on this second visit that he had to deal with particularly difficult circumstances in the church. He knew his arrival in Corinth had caused them great pain because being reprimanded is never easy, and having to be the one to call them out had not been enjoyable for Paul either. So, he says, “I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved” (2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT).

It pained Paul to reprimand those he loved. This reveals his pastor’s heart and his deep care and affection for the believers in Corinth. They were his children in the faith, and he had a deep and abiding love for them and felt a strong sense of responsibility for their spiritual well-being. 

Instead of paying them a potentially painful visit, Paul decided to write them a letter.

That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful. – 2 Corinthians 2:3 NLT

The letter, now lost, was evidently quite blunt and caused Paul “great anguish” to write. Whatever he wrote had caused him great sorrow and left him in tears, but it was necessary and written in love.

It was Paul’s hope and desire that the Corinthians would take seriously the painful rebuke and loving reprimand found in his letter and do something about it. What he had written had been for their good, and he longed for them to heed his words and change their ways. Otherwise, when he did finally visit them, it would be another painful reunion.

While Paul cared for the Corinthians, he loved them too much to allow them to continue in sin. His affection for them was rooted in the love of Christ and in his knowledge that he was responsible to God for their spiritual welfare. Paul did not enjoy or take pleasure in hurting them; he simply wanted to see them enjoy all that God had in store for them. He desired that they experience all the full measure of the abundant life that Christ made possible by His death on the cross. Later in this letter, Paul explains the harsh tone of his previous letter.

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT

Paul found joy in their repentance, not in their happiness. To refrain from telling someone the truth just because you don’t want to cause them pain is not love; it is a twisted form of hate. To knowingly allow them to continue in sin would be cruel and make you an accomplice in their sin. You would be enabling their sinful behavior by remaining silent.

Too often, as Christians, our fear of losing face or friends keeps us from saying what needs to be said. But Paul believed that holiness was far more important than happiness. Our love for one another is best expressed in our unwillingness to tolerate sin in one another’s lives. Which is why Paul told the Colossian believers: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 ESV).

Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3 ESV). Solomon wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:3 ESV). King David understood the value of the loving rebuke of a godly friend.

Let the godly strike me!
    It will be a kindness!
If they correct me, it is soothing medicine.
    Don’t let me refuse it. – Psalm 141:5 NLT

Tough love is tough to pull off because it is difficult to confront those we love. It caused Paul pain to say what he had to say to the Corinthians, but it was necessary. It was the godly thing to do. He told the Corinthians that he wrote his previous letter “to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT).

When we care more for another believer’s holiness than for their happiness, we truly love them. When we’re willing to risk their rejection to bring about their repentance, we demonstrate our love for them. When we make their relationship with God a higher priority than their friendship with us, we are loving them as Christ loved us. As Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Strong words spoken from a sincere and loving heart may cause momentary pain, but in the long run, they will produce the fruit of righteousness.

Father, nobody likes to have their sins exposed or their faults pointed out, but the truth is that we are sometimes the last ones to see what is painfully obvious to others. Yet, most of us avoid confronting the sin we see in other’s lives because we fear rejection or suspect that they will point the finger of accusation back at us. However, our silence does nothing to change their behavior or assuage our responsibility to love them enough to confront them. Father, before Your Son began His earthly ministry, You sent John the Baptist to call the people to repentance. Even Jesus’ preached the same message, calling people to acknowledge their sinfulness and their need for a Savior. He is the one who said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners” (Mark 2:17 NLT). He loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. Then He went to the cross to pay the penalty we owed and provide a cure for our sinful condition. Give me the same passion to expose the sins in those I claim to love. Don’t allow me to let getting along to outweigh my responsibility to build up the body of Christ. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

No Peace for the Wicked

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9 And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice 10 and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods. But he did not keep what the LORD commanded. 11 Therefore the LORD said to Solomon, “Since this has been your practice and you have not kept my covenant and my statutes that I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you and will give it to your servant. 12 Yet for the sake of David your father I will not do it in your days, but I will tear it out of the hand of your son. 13 However, I will not tear away all the kingdom, but I will give one tribe to your son, for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem that I have chosen.”

14 And the LORD raised up an adversary against Solomon, Hadad the Edomite. He was of the royal house in Edom. 15 For when David was in Edom, and Joab the commander of the army went up to bury the slain, he struck down every male in Edom 16 (for Joab and all Israel remained there six months, until he had cut off every male in Edom). 17 But Hadad fled to Egypt, together with certain Edomites of his father’s servants, Hadad still being a little child. 18 They set out from Midian and came to Paran and took men with them from Paran and came to Egypt, to Pharaoh king of Egypt, who gave him a house and assigned him an allowance of food and gave him land. 19 And Hadad found great favor in the sight of Pharaoh, so that he gave him in marriage the sister of his own wife, the sister of Tahpenes the queen. 20 And the sister of Tahpenes bore him Genubath his son, whom Tahpenes weaned in Pharaoh’s house. And Genubath was in Pharaoh’s house among the sons of Pharaoh. 21 But when Hadad heard in Egypt that David slept with his fathers and that Joab the commander of the army was dead, Hadad said to Pharaoh, “Let me depart, that I may go to my own country.” 22 But Pharaoh said to him, “What have you lacked with me that you are now seeking to go to your own country?” And he said to him, “Only let me depart.”

23 God also raised up as an adversary to him, Rezon the son of Eliada, who had fled from his master Hadadezer king of Zobah. 24 And he gathered men about him and became leader of a marauding band, after the killing by David. And they went to Damascus and lived there and made him king in Damascus. 25 He was an adversary of Israel all the days of Solomon, doing harm as Hadad did. And he loathed Israel and reigned over Syria. – 1 Kings 11:9-25 ESV

Solomon’s name is derived from the Hebrew word shalowm, which means “peace,” and Solomon lived up to his name, delivering to his people an unprecedented time of peace and tranquility.

Solomon’s dominion extended over all the kingdoms west of the Euphrates River, from Tiphsah to Gaza. And there was peace on all his borders. During the lifetime of Solomon, all of Judah and Israel lived in peace and safety. – 1 Kings 4:24-25 NLT

While Solomon used his great wealth to purchase thousands of horses and chariots to equip his army, his investment proved unwise and unnecessary because there were no enemies to fight. He had managed to secure the peace through carefully negotiated treaties with the surrounding nations and through marital alliances with princesses from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and among the Hittites.

However, those very same women ultimately turned Solomon’s heart away from the Lord. By choosing to align himself with these pagan princesses, Solomon exposed himself to the false gods of their home nations. Driven by his own lust for sensual pleasure, Solomon compromised his convictions and disobeyed the command of God.

“You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” – 1 Kings 11:2 ESV

To say that Solomon was obsessed with women is not an exaggeration. He had managed to accumulate for himself 700 wives of royal birth, in direct violation of God’s word. The text reveals that Solomon “clung to these in love” (1 Kings 11:2 ESV). The image conveyed in the Hebrew is that Solomon was clinging to these women, like a child with a toy he refuses to give up. The Hebrew word for “love” in this passage is ‘ahab, and in the context, it carries a somewhat negative connotation.  The author appears to portray Solomon as driven by lustful, sensual motives that blinded him to the dangers of his actions. This man had the financial resources and the power to deny himself nothing his heart desired. He was like an addict with full access to his drug of choice. Solomon loved women, and he had more than 700 wives and 300 concubines to satisfy his seemingly insatiable sexual desires.

In an attempt to please his many wives, Solomon constructed altars and shrines to the various gods they worshipped.

On the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem, he even built a pagan shrine for Chemosh, the detestable god of Moab, and another for Molech, the detestable god of the Ammonites. Solomon built such shrines for all his foreign wives to use for burning incense and sacrificing to their gods. – 1 Kings 11:7-8 NLT

This undertaking proved costly to Solomon, and not just financially. Just as he had invested his financial resources to build a Temple to the one true God, he poured money and human resources into the construction of worship sites dedicated to the false gods of his many wives. The presence of these ubiquitous shrines became a source of temptation to the people of Israel, causing them to turn their backs on Yahweh.

God had promised to give Solomon wealth and fame, but now he was using the financial blessings of God to promote the worship of false gods. His determination to placate his wives’ religious convictions did not go unnoticed by Yahweh. God delivered a stinging rebuke to Solomon, informing him that his disobedience would have dire consequences.

“Since you have not kept my covenant and have disobeyed my decrees, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your servants.” – 1 Kings 11:11 NLT

God had chosen Solomon to be the next king of Israel, following in the footsteps of his father, David. But Solomon had “refused to follow the LORD completely, as his father, David, had done” (1 Kings 11:6 NLT). Unlike David, Solomon failed to remain faithful to God. He had a divided allegiance, allowing his love for God to become diluted by his love of the world and his lust for sensual pleasures. So, God threatened to bring judgment upon Solomon by dividing his kingdom in half. The vast empire that Solomon had spent so much time, energy, and money building would be reduced to a fraction of its former glory. Not only that, the peace that Israel enjoyed would be disrupted by the arrival of “adversaries” — enemies sent by God to punish His disobedient king and people.

Out of His respect for David, God graciously allowed Solomon to complete his reign with his kingdom intact. It would be Solomon’s son who would have to suffer the consequences of his father’s sin. But, in the meantime, Solomon would have to endure the unpleasant prospect of war. The text clearly states that “the LORD raised up Hadad the Edomite, a member of Edom’s royal family, to be Solomon’s adversary” (1 Kings 11:14 NLT). This was a sovereign act of God. Hadad was chosen by God to be an instrument of His judgment against Solomon.

Hadad was a member of the Edomite royal family who had been living in exile in Egypt ever since David’s forces had conquered and occupied their land.

So David became even more famous when he returned from destroying 18,000 Edomites in the Valley of Salt. He placed army garrisons throughout Edom, and all the Edomites became David’s subjects. In fact, the LORD made David victorious wherever he went. – 2 Samuel 8:13-14 NLT

In an attempt to explain Hadad’s animosity toward Solomon, the author reveals that “Hadad and a few of his father’s royal officials escaped and headed for Egypt” (1 Kings 11:17 NLT). Joab, the commanding general over David’s armies, had remained in Edom with a contingent of troops, orchestrating a clean-up operation. They spent six months methodically and systematically eradicating every last male among the Edomites.

Having fled to Egypt for refuge, Hadad found himself welcomed by Pharaoh with open arms. He was even allowed to marry the queen’s sister. This very brief history of Hadad’s time in Egypt mirrors that of Moses. The one who would become the eventual deliverer of Israel had been born in Egypt, during a perilous time when Pharaoh had ordered the deaths of all the male children of the Hebrews. However, Moses had been miraculously delivered and ultimately became a member of Pharaoh’s household. And this young man was eventually used by God to rescue His people from their enslavement in Egypt.

Yet, in Hadad’s case, he was an Edomite who had fled to Egypt for refuge and would be used by God, not to deliver the people of Israel, but to punish them. He would return to the land of promise to bring judgment, not blessing. He would be used by God to deliver punishment, not peace, and he would not be alone in his role as God’s agent of judgment. God would also raise up Rezon, son of Eliada.

While Hadad represented the Edomites in the south, Rezon would rally the northern enemies of Israel. Essentially, God was creating a pincer movement designed to envelop the Israelites from two sides. Solomon was going to find himself surrounded by adversaries, and these two men would use their intense hatred for David and the people of Israel to fuel their ongoing and unrelenting harassment of Solomon.

Rezon was Israel’s bitter adversary for the rest of Solomon’s reign, and he made trouble, just as Hadad did. Rezon hated Israel intensely and continued to reign in Aram. – 1 Kings 11:25 NLT

Solomon’s “love” for his many wives had led him to disobey God. His unbridled lust had influenced him to make unwise decisions that resulted in ungodly behavior. And now, he was going to pay the consequences. Solomon, the king whose name meant “peace”  (shalom), would have his fairytale existence disrupted by external threats that would impact his bottom line and sow doubt and distrust among his people. The glory days were over. Solomon’s decision to disobey Yahweh came with a high price that would leave him with regrets and fill him with remorse. He would later record his thoughts in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear. – Ecclesiastes 5:4-7 ESV

Solomon failed to keep his vow to Yahweh and suffered the consequences, but he learned a valuable lesson from his mistake that he chose to share for posterity.

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil. – Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 ESV

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Sin, Sorrow, and Confession

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A Psalm of David, for the memorial offering.

1 O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger,
    nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me,
    and your hand has come down on me.

3 There is no soundness in my flesh
    because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
    because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have gone over my head;
    like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

5 My wounds stink and fester
    because of my foolishness,
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
    all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning,
    and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and crushed;
    I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

9 O Lord, all my longing is before you;
    my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
    and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
    and my nearest kin stand far off.

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares;
    those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
    and meditate treachery all day long.

13 But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,
    like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
14 I have become like a man who does not hear,
    and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

15 But for you, O LORD, do I wait;
    it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
16 For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me,
    who boast against me when my foot slips!”

17 For I am ready to fall,
    and my pain is ever before me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
    I am sorry for my sin.
19 But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
    and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
20 Those who render me evil for good
    accuse me because I follow after good.

21 Do not forsake me, O LORD!
    O my God, be not far from me!
22 Make haste to help me,
    O Lord, my salvation! – Psalm 38:1-22 ESV

We are not told what David’s sin was, but he clearly articulates what he believes to be the consequences for that sin. David is suffering greatly, both physically and emotionally. He sees his circumstances as directly related to his sin and as a rebuke from God. Crying out to God, he says, “Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. My guilt overwhelms me – it is a burden too heavy to bear” (Psalm 38:3-4 NLT).

David clearly understands that sin has consequences and that God, because He is just, must punish sin. There is discipline involved when sins are committed. As children of God, we are not allowed to sin freely and without repercussions. If we belong to God, our sin produces guilt. His Spirit convicts us of our sin and creates within us those same feelings that David had. He speaks of God’s rebuke and discipline. He uses words like crushing, broken, grief, crushed, anguish, and pain. And he attributes it all to his “foolish sins” (Psalms 38:5 NLT).

Speaking of this conviction of sin, C. H. Spurgeon states, “God’s law applied by the Spirit to the conviction of the soul of sin, wounds deeply and rankles long; it is an arrow not lightly to be brushed out by careless mirthfulness, or to be extracted by the flattering hand of self righteousness” (C. H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of David – Volume 3)

David could not escape God’s loving discipline by simply finding something to distract him. He could avoid it for a time, but his unconfessed sin would continue to haunt him, leaving him longing for relief. Conviction is designed to lead to confession. If conviction is ignored, it will only lead to continued sorrow. It will eat away at you from the inside out.

My guilt overwhelms me—
    it is a burden too heavy to bear.
My wounds fester and stink
    because of my foolish sins. – Psalm 38:4-5 NLT

That’s why confession is so important. It is the anecdote for conviction, guilt, and shame. John reminds us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John 1:9 NLT). In Psalm 38, the word that David uses, which is translated as “confess” in the New Living Translation, is actually the Hebrew word for “tell or declare.” He claims to avow, acknowledge, or confess the sins for which he has been convicted. He gets them out in the open with God. The truth is, God already knows what David has done and is only waiting for David to acknowledge or confess his guilt. He must openly admit and agree with God that what he has done is wrong. Spurgeon says that this process of confession is therapeutic and healing.

”Open confession is good for the soul. When sorrow leads to hearty and penitent acknowledgment of sin it is blessed sorrow, a thing to thank God for most devoutly. I will be sorry for my sin. My confession will be salted with briny tears. It is well not so much to bewail our sorrows as to denounce the sins which lie at the root of them. To be sorry for sin is no atonement for it, but it is the right spirit in which to repair to Jesus, who is the reconciliation and the Saviour. A man is near to the end of his trouble when he comes to an end with his sins.” – C. H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of David – Volume 3

But an essential part of confession is sorrow. David states, “I am deeply sorry for what I have done” (Psalm 38:18 NLT). Confession without sorrow is nothing more than regret or remorse. You may regret your sins because they have produced pain and discipline, but that is not what God is looking for. Confession as a means of escaping coming punishment is not enough. There must be sorrow for the sin we have committed and not just sorrow for the discipline our sins have incurred. A child may express sorrow for something he has done, but it may be motivated by a desire to escape further punishment. It might have nothing to do with sorrow for having offended his parents. The same can be true with us.

In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul mentioned another letter he had sent that addressed a sin with which they were struggling.

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT

The kind of sorrow God wants us to experience is intended to lead us away from sin and result in salvation. David was deeply sorry for his sins. He confessed them to God and asked for forgiveness and restoration. He knew only God could bring the physical, emotional, and spiritual healing he needed. He cried out to God, “Do not abandon me, O LORD. Do not stand at a distance, my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord may savior” (Psalm 38:21-22 NLT).

David’s pain and sorrow were real. His suffering was intense, and so was his desire for relief. But David knew that confession must precede restoration. He needed to own what he had done and recognize that his pain and suffering were a just and righteous consequence for his disobedience to God. God was not being vengeful or vindictive. David’s suffering was not an overreaction on God’s part. The punishment fit the crime, and David knew it. But he also knew that his only hope for relief and restoration was in God.

Do not abandon me, O LORD.
    Do not stand at a distance, my God.
Come quickly to help me,
    O Lord my savior. – Psalm 38:21-22 NLT

Father, they say confession is good for the soul, and nothing could be more true than when it comes to sin in the life of a believer. When we sin, the Spirit convicts our soul and creates in us a holy discontentment and discomfort. Like David, we grow increasingly unhappy with our condition, feeling guilt and shame for what we have done. But You are simply using that conviction to lead us to confession, in order that You might forgive and restore us. Give us an increasing hatred for sin and a willingness to acknowledge its presence in our lives as soon as it shows up. Help us respond quickly to the Spirit’s prompting and confess our sin with godly sorrow because we have offended You, our heavenly Father and holy God. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Loyalty Without Honesty Is Duplicity

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24 Asahel the brother of Joab was one of the thirty; Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem, 25 Shammah of Harod, Elika of Harod, 26 Helez the Paltite, Ira the son of Ikkesh of Tekoa, 27 Abiezer of Anathoth, Mebunnai the Hushathite, 28 Zalmon the Ahohite, Maharai of Netophah, 29 Heleb the son of Baanah of Netophah, Ittai the son of Ribai of Gibeah of the people of Benjamin, 30 Benaiah of Pirathon, Hiddai of the brooks of Gaash, 31 Abi-albon the Arbathite, Azmaveth of Bahurim, 32 Eliahba the Shaalbonite, the sons of Jashen, Jonathan, 33 Shammah the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sharar the Hararite, 34 Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai of Maacah, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite, 35 Hezro of Carmel, Paarai the Arbite, 36 Igal the son of Nathan of Zobah, Bani the Gadite, 37 Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai of Beeroth, the armor-bearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah, 38 Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite, 39 Uriah the Hittite: thirty-seven in all. – 2 Samuel 23:24-39 ESV

Chapter 23 closes with a list of 37 men. Several things should get our attention. First, there is the mention of Uriah the Hittite. His name at the end of this lengthy list of Hebrew heroes is surprising because of the nature of his relationship with David. If you recall, Uriah was the husband of Bathsheba, the woman with whom David had an illicit and illegal affair. While Uriah, a soldier in David’s army, was on deployment fighting the enemies of Israel, David took advantage of his absence by taking sexual liberties with his wife. Then when David discovered that Bathsheba was pregnant, he attempted to cover up his sin by ordering Uriah’s return from the battlefront. He had hoped that Uriah’s reunion with his wife would produce a convenient explanation for her pregnancy. But, ever the faithful soldier, Uriah refused to enjoy the pleasure of his wife’s company while his companions’ lives were at risk.

Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.” – 2 Samuel 11:11 NLT

Frustrated by Uriah’s dedication to duty, David ordered him back to the front carrying his own death sentence in his hands. Uriah delivered a message to Joab, David’s military commander, ordering him to expose Uriah to enemy fire so that he might be killed. With Uriah out of the way, David would be free to take Bathsheba as his wife. Joab obeyed David’s orders and “assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy’s strongest men were fighting. And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight, Uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers” (2 Samuel 11:16-17 NLT). 

So, it seems strange to see Uriah’s name on this list of David’s faithful men. While Uriah’s death took place early in David’s reign, he is recognized here at the end of David’s life as one of “the Thirty.” We don’t know exactly what that title entails and what the responsibilities were for each of these men, but we do know that they were considered men of distinction. Even David had to admit that Uriah, though long dead, had been a man of integrity. This dedicated soldier had refused all offers to return home and sleep with his wife while his fellow soldiers were battling the enemy. Uriah had turned down David’s counsel to enjoy the comforts of home, instead choosing to sleep on the doorstep of the king’s palace. When given the opportunity, Uriah jumped at the chance to return to the front lines. He denied personal pleasures and embraced his sense of duty and dedication. He died in the service of his king and country, placing him on the list of David’s mighty men.

A second thing that stands out in this chapter is the varied nature of the men on this list. Some were Israelites, while others were not. This list contains Paltites, Hushathites, Ahohites, Arbathites, Shaalbonites, Hararites, Gilonites, Arbites, Gadites, Ammonites, Ithrites, and Hittites. Not much is known about many of these people groups, but it reveals the ethnic diversity of David’s army. David’s cohort of mighty men was a multicultural blend of individuals from all walks of life and every conceivable ethnic background. Yet, despite their differences, they were unified in their love and support for David and were bound by their oaths of allegiance and willingness to lay down their lives.

No specifics are given regarding the actions of these men or how they came to be included in “the Thirty” but they were special to David. This collection of disparate individuals reveals the divine nature of David’s reign. Only God could have orchestrated such an unlikely blend of natural-born enemies and turned them into a powerful fighting force. These men were the byproduct of God’s sovereign will, not David’s faithfulness. David didn’t deserve their love and support. He had not earned their loyalty. Their presence and participation in his band of mighty men was the work of God and testifies to His faithfulness.

Over the years, David had been blessed to have the support of this brave and dedicated group of men. No doubt there were some who, like Uriah, gave their lives for David. Others fought for him or gave him counsel and advice. They had diverse backgrounds and different duties, but they all shared a lay-it-all-on-the-line dedication to David.

Conspicuously absent from the list is Joab, the long-time commander of David’s armies and the man who had stood beside him throughout his life. The relationship between the two men had soured when Joab disobeyed a direct order from David and killed Absalom, David’s son. Joab also killed Abner and Amasa, against the wishes of David. So, he is not included in David’s inner circle. But, interestingly enough, his armor-bearer is.

Joab’s absence from the list highlights an important point: The need for loyalty.  A true friend is a loyal friend. The men mentioned in this chapter had proven to be loyal and dedicated to David. They had fought by his side and taken great risks to ensure his personal safety and secure his reign. They didn’t let their ethnic differences stand in the way. They believed in David and were willing to give their all for the cause of the kingdom.

But Joab had also proven to be a loyal friend and faithful commander. Yet, his name is conspicuously left off the list. What makes his absence so glaring is that Joab had been the only one willing to be blunt and brutally honest with David. He loved him enough to call him out. When David was stuck in a state of perpetual mourning over the death of Absalom, it was Joab who called him out and demanded that he act like a king or face the loss of his kingdom. Joab was the loving but tough-talking friend who loved David enough to say what others would not. He knew David’s weaknesses and was willing to speak up even if it caused his friend to blow up.

But Joab did more than speak his mind; he also took action. As a faithful friend, Joab refused to let David destroy his kingdom through complacency and his propensity for apathy. Joab was unwilling to stand back and watch David ignore his duties as king. So, when necessary, he stepped in and did what David should have done. His execution of Absalom is a case in point. As the king, David should have ordered the death of his own son. Absalom was guilty of murder and deserved to die for his crime. But David couldn’t bring himself to prosecute and punish his own son. So, Joab did what David was too afraid to do; he fulfilled God’s law and ensured that justice was served.

That too, is an important character quality of a true friend. Someone who always agrees with you and conveniently overlooks your faults and failures is not someone who loves you. We all need a Joab in our lives, someone who will speak the truth in love. Surrounding ourselves with yes-men may boost our ego but it won’t build our character. The Proverb reminds us that  “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need” (Proverbs 17:17 NLT). But a real friend doesn’t just show up, he speaks up. He doesn’t just rubber-stamp our actions or applaud our every decision; he points out our flaws and holds us accountable for our actions. David’s son Solomon highlighted the need for friends who are loyal but also honest.

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. – Proverbs 27:6 NLT

In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery. – Proverbs 28:23 NLT

It’s always great to be surrounded by those who look up to you and are willing to do whatever it takes to make you successful. But sometimes you need one individual willing to say the hard things and hold you to a higher standard. Joab and David didn’t always get along. They didn’t always agree. But Joab had proven his faithfulness to David time and time again. He loved David too much and knew the greatest form of loyalty sometimes comes in the form of honesty. Joab refused to watch David risk his kingdom by losing the respect of his people. He wasn’t willing to maintain his friendship at the cost of his friend’s integrity.

David had no shortage of faithful followers, brave companions, and dedicated servants. But there were times when he could have used a few more men like Joab in his life. What kind of friend are you? Are you steadfast and faithful, always there when your friends need you? Are you willing to risk losing a friend by speaking up and calling them out over their sins? Joab was far from perfect; he had his own struggles with anger, impulsiveness, and vengefulness. But he loved David greatly. So much so that he was willing to risk David’s wrath by pointing out when he was wrong. A godly leader who has followers is fortunate, but a godly leader who has faithful and honest friends is truly blessed.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Words Can Hurt and Also Heal

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1 It was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” 2 So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people, for the people heard that day, “The king is grieving for his son.” 3 And the people stole into the city that day as people steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle. 4 The king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” 5 Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines, 6 because you love those who hate you and hate those who love you. For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you, for today I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. 7 Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” 8 Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate. And the people were all told, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate.” And all the people came before the king.

Now Israel had fled every man to his own home. 9 And all the people were arguing throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “The king delivered us from the hand of our enemies and saved us from the hand of the Philistines, and now he has fled out of the land from Absalom. 10 But Absalom, whom we anointed over us, is dead in battle. Now therefore why do you say nothing about bringing the king back?” – 2 Samuel 19:1-10 ESV

David needed a kick in the pants. He may have been king, but he wasn’t acting like one. His faithful followers had just handed him a great victory over Absalom and his forces, returning him to the throne of Israel, but all he could do was weep and mourn over the loss of his son. No explanation is given for David’s deep depression and what appears to be excessive grief over the death of his rebellious son. It’s impossible to know whether David was grieving over the loss of Absalom or if he was suffering remorse over his own sins that had been the impetus for the entire affair. Perhaps David was regretting his less-than-stellar parenting skills that had led to his son’s loss of respect for him and, ultimately, his rebellion against him. Whatever the reason behind David’s ongoing grief, it had become a serious problem.

David had returned to power but had ordered no victory celebration to commemorate the occasion. He had offered no words of gratitude to his troops. He had failed to express his condolences to those families whose fathers and sons had died in the battle. In fact, the text makes it clear that David was obsessed with the loss of his son and nothing else. He remained in a perpetual state of mourning, repeating the words, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 19:4 ESV).

David’s dour mood affected the entire city. We’re told the people “crept back into the town that day as though they were ashamed and had deserted in battle” (2 Samuel 19:3 NLT). Absalom’s coup attempt had been successfully shut down but “the joy of that day’s victory was turned into deep sadness” (2 Samuel 19:2 NLT) – all because of David’s lingering sorrow over his son’s death.

David was an emotional wreck and in no state to shepherd the sheep of God. He had regained his throne but had effectively abdicated his responsibilities to lead his people. As he languished in sorrow, they began to lose faith in him. They questioned his love for them, and it seemed that this state of affairs would have gone on indefinitely had Joab not intervened.

As David’s long-time friend and the commander of his army, Joab refused to sit back and watch David squander this great victory and continue to treat his people with contempt. Angered by David’s actions, Joab stepped in and spoke up and, in doing so, he took a great risk. After all, David was the king and Joab had disobeyed his direct order to spare Absalom’s life. He had personally taken it upon himself to execute the king’s son and put an end to the rebellion. Now, he was going to confront the man who could have him put to death for his insubordination. But for Joab, it was worth the risk. Something had to be done. So, in a display of extreme selflessness, Joab entered the king’s chambers and read his friend the riot act.

“Today you have embarrassed all your servants who have saved your life this day, as well as the lives of your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your concubines. You seem to love your enemies and hate your friends! For you have as much as declared today that leaders and servants don’t matter to you.” – 2 Samuel 19:5-6 NLT

Joab pulled no punches and wasted no time with niceties. He didn’t stroke the king’s ego or give him a reassuring hug. He refused to join David in mourning the loss of Absalom because he didn’t share David’s sense of sorrow or regret over Absalom’s death. His decision to kill Absalom was motivated by his love for David and his concern for the well-being of the kingdom. Now, he was putting his own life on the line by dropping a truth bomb on his inconsolable and incapacitated friend.

The Bible has much to say about the power of a well-intended and well-timed rebuke. It is never something we like to do but there are times when it is exactly what we need to do. A rebuke, when done in love, has a curative and restorative quality to it. The apostle James reminds us, “you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins” (James 5:20 NLT). David’s excessive mourning over the loss of Absalom was a sin. He was not only offending the sensibilities of his own people by overlooking all that they had done for him, but he was treating God with contempt by refusing to acknowledge that Absalom’s death had been divinely sanctioned. Through the actions of Joab, God had done what David had refused to do; punish Absalom for his murder of Amnon. David’s inaction led to Absalom’s loss of respect for him and, ultimately, to his decision to replace his father as king. Yet, God had graciously restored David to the throne. The Almighty had thwarted the plans of Absalom and reasserted His sovereign will for His chosen servant, David. But it took a wake-up call from Joab to shake David out of his debilitating state of melancholy and lethargy.

The Proverbs of Solomon have much to say about the topic of rebuke.

Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue. – Proverbs 28:23 ESV

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. – Proverbs 27:5-6 ESV

Solomon would go on to discuss the same topic in the Book of Ecclesiastes.

Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool. – Ecclesiastes 7:5 NLT

Perhaps Solomon, the son of David and the God-appointed heir to David’s throne learned these lessons from observing his father. He may have recalled his father’s response to Absalom’s death and hearing of Joab’s timely intervention. It’s also likely that he was familiar with the words his father penned in one of his psalms:

Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it. – Psalm 141:5 NLT

What Joab had to say was difficult for David to hear. His words would have stung but they were necessary and exactly what David needed at this point in his life. Blinded by his grief, David was oblivious to the devastating impact his actions were having on all those around him. So Joab was blunt, even harsh, telling David, “You seem to love those who hate you and hate those who love you” (2 Samuel 19:6 NLT).

Those words must have been like a slap in the face to David. But Joab was not done. He continued to berate David, stating, “It seems that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died, you would be pleased” (2 Samuel 19:6 NLT). In this obvious use of hyperbole, Joab was trying to shock his friend into recognizing the error of his ways. The exaggerated nature of Joab’s words was intended to elicit some kind of response from his listless friend. His language was meant to shock and shame David in action.

One can only imagine how David’s excessive sorrow over Absalom’s death affected his other children. How were they supposed to take this over-the-top display of sorrow for their murderous and rebellious brother? What about the ten concubines who had been sexually humiliated by Absalom on the palace rooftop? How did they feel when David wept uncontrollably over the loss of his son but refused to address what he had done to them. There is no indication in the text that David ever addressed these women personally or did anything to alleviate their pain and loss.

David’s behavior had become dangerously destructive. His fractured kingdom and damaged reputation needed repair, but his obsession with Absalom’s death was doing more harm than good. So, once again, Joab took matters into his own hands and did what needed to be done. He was willing to wound his friend and risk his own life to save the kingdom – and his efforts worked.

So the king went out and took his seat at the town gate, and as the news spread throughout the town that he was there, everyone went to him. – 2 Samuel 19:8 NLT

Joab put his neck on the line. But why? Because he cared for David. He knew that if he did nothing, the ramifications would be devastating. He warned David, “Now go out there and congratulate your troops, for I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a single one of them will remain here tonight. Then you will be worse off than ever before” (2 Samuel 19:7 NLT). Doing nothing was not an option for Joab. He could not afford to sit back and watch David destroy the kingdom. There was far too much at stake.

As the Proverbs states, faithful are the wounds of a friend. Words, even when spoken in love, can hurt. But if our intention is to restore and reconcile, then the pain will be well worth it. If we are motivated by love, our words, while initially hurtful, will prove helpful in the long run. David was in deep sorrow, but it was a misdirected and unhealthy kind of sorrow that was destroying all those around him. He expressed no sorrow over the 20,000 Israelites who lost their lives in the battle between his forces and those of Absalom. He displayed no regret or repentance for his role in the whole affair. Not once does David confess to God or admit his culpability for all that had taken place. So, in a sense, David’s sorrow was unacceptable because it mourned over the wrong things. The apostle Paul provides a powerful reminder of what godly sorrow really looks like:

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT

Had Joab not spoken up, David might never have woken up to the devastating nature of his actions. Joab’s love is evidenced in his willingness to say the hard things that David needed to hear. To say nothing would have been easier, but it would have been nothing less than an expression of hatred.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Change of Perspective

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31 And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33 But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

34 And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. 36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? 37 For what can a man give in return for his soul? 38 For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:31-38 ESV

When Jesus asked the disciples who they thought Him to be, Peter quickly responded with the correct answer: “You are the Christ” (Mark 8:29 ESV). But Jesus knew that Peter had a somewhat cloudy understanding of what his statement even meant. Like the blind man Jesus had just healed, Peter was experiencing blurry vision – a fuzzy and incomplete understanding of Jesus’ identity. And Peter was not the only one of the disciples who was suffering from a foggy perspective concerning Jesus.

So, in an attempt to add context and clarity to Peter’s answer, Jesus “began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again” (Mark 8:31 ESV).

When Peter had announced that Jesus was the Christ, he had none of these things in mind. The suffering, rejection, and murder of Jesus were not on his radar screen. His concept of the Messiah did not include such things. And without them, there was certainly no need for a resurrection.

This announcement from Jesus would have made no sense to the disciples. They knew He and the religious leaders didn’t get along, but they would never have dreamed that these holy men would attempt to kill the Messiah of Israel. Yet Jesus made it clear that “the elders and the chief priests and the scribes” would be the ones behind His death. These three groups comprised the Sanhedrin, the high council of Israel which consisted of 70 members. The men who sat on this council were powerful, influential, and revered by the people. They were considered the spiritual elite of the day. And to think that they would conspire to kill Jesus was incomprehensible to the disciples.

Peter was appalled by this grim announcement and responded by pulling Jesus aside and rebuking Him. Matthew tells us what Peter said to Jesus.

“Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” – Matthew 16:22 ESV

It is difficult to fully appreciate the force behind Peter’s statement. The NET Bible provides a better and more literal translation that lets us see how shocked and upset Peter was by Jesus’ words.

“God forbid, Lord! This must not happen to you!” – Matthew 16:22 NET

This time, Peter didn’t understand what he was saying. He meant well, but his words were spoken rashly and without any thought as to their import. But Jesus responded quickly and harshly. Mark indicates that Jesus looked at His disciples. It is likely that He gazed into eyes filled with fear and confusion. He could see the state of turmoil they were in and knew that they shared Peter’s concern. But He quickly turned His attention to Peter and rebuked him in front of his peers.

“Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” – Mark 8:33 ESV

Jesus accused the very man who had just confessed Him to be the Christ of being “Satan.” This public rebuke was meant to send a message, not just to Peter but to every one of the disciples. By declaring his opposition to the revealed will of God, Peter had unknowingly aligned himself with the enemy. When Peter had shouted, “God forbid,” it was almost as if he was demanding that God alter His plans. Jesus had just revealed the Father’s will for His life but Peter didn’t approve. He found any mention of suffering, rejection, and death to be unfathomable and, therefore, unacceptable.

Matthew adds that Jesus accused Peter of being a skandalon, a stumbling block. Rather than assisting Jesus in His God-ordained mission, Peter was acting as an impediment. His well-meaning desire that Jesus avoid suffering and death was more in line with the will of Satan than it was with God’s divine redemptive plan. Satan had been trying to derail the mission of Jesus from the beginning. All the way back to the birth of Jesus, Satan had attempted to use King Herod to eliminate the Christ child. And more than 30 years later, after Jesus was baptized by John and led by the Spirit into the wilderness, Satan repeatedly tempted Jesus, trying to convince Him to abandon His mission.

Now, here was Peter, one of the 12, declaring his opposition to the divinely-ordained ministry of Jesus the Christ. Jesus had made it plain and simple. He must suffer, die, and then rise again. Every aspect of God’s plan non-negotiable and completely necessary. Jesus had come to fulfill the will of His Father. And Jesus revealed to Peter that his perspective was skewed.

“You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” – Mark 8:33 NLT

Without realizing it, Peter had been demanding that his will be done. He had put his expectations and desires ahead of God’s. He could see no personal benefit from Jesus suffering and dying. He had no need for a dead Messiah. Or so he thought.

Peter didn’t realize that his wish for Jesus to escape death was actually a nightmare waiting to happen. Little did he know that, without Jesus’ death, there would be no kingdom. There would be no forgiveness of sin. As Jesus had made clear, He had to be “lifted up.” Just as the bronze serpent was lifted up in the wilderness and brought healing to all those who were guilty of sin and facing death, so Jesus must be lifted up on the cross so that mankind’s sin debt might be paid in full. It was only through Jesus’ sacrificial death that sinful men and women could find restoration and redemption. Clinging to a living Jesus was not going to save Peter. He was going to have to embrace the crucified Christ as his only hope of being reconciled to God.

Having rebuked Peter in front of his peers, Jesus expanded His audience by calling a crowd to join them. And the message He delivered to them was intended to provide Peter and the disciples with further insight into His mission and their role in it.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.” – Mark 8:34-35 NLT

Jesus was calling Peter and his companions to abandon their agendas. He knew they had all kinds of expectations concerning His role as the Messiah. When Jesus finally got around to establishing His Kingdom on earth, they were hoping to play vital roles in His royal administration. But Jesus was letting them know that His Kingdom would not come without sacrifice. He was going to be required to take up His cross, and they would have to do the same. He was going to willingly lay down His life so that He might take it up again (John 10:17-18), and He was expecting them to follow His example.

Peter and the rest of the disciples couldn’t help but focus all their attention on the present. They were in it for what they thought they could get out of it. But Jesus had a much-longer perspective. He realized that humiliation must precede glorification. Death had to come before life. Sacrifice was the key to obtaining the riches of God’s goodness and grace.

The disciples had short-term outlooks. They were interested in immediate gratification and were hoping to enjoy their best life in the here-and-now, not the hereafter. Jesus’ emphasis on the soul was meant to realign their thinking by reminding them that there was a spiritual dimension to their lives. Their souls would outlast their physical bodies. They were eternal creatures living in a temporal world, and Jesus was trying to clarify their vision so that they might embrace God’s plan of redemption with open arms and willing hearts.

Years later, long after Jesus had suffered, died, been resurrected, and returned to His Father’s side in heaven, the apostle John would write these powerful words of admonition and encouragement. His audience was made up of believers living near the end of the 1st-Century who were facing persecution, suffering, and even death because of their faith in Christ. They were living out in daily life what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus. But they were constantly being tempted to lose sight of the future and to pursue the pleasures of the present. So, John warned them:

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. – 1 John 2:15-17 NLT

And Jesus closes out His message with a sobering word that was clearly intended for the ears of His disciples.

“If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:38 NLT

Jesus was not insinuating that Peter was in danger of losing his status as one of God’s chosen. He was simply warning Peter and the other disciples that they were about to face a difficult period of time that was going to test their allegiance and tempt them to abandon all hope. But notice that Jesus assures them that, in spite of all that will happen, He will be coming back. That is to be their focus. Yes, they will see Him arrested, tried, humiliated, crucified, killed, and buried. But they will also see Him raised back to life and watch Him ascend into heaven. And He will leave with comforting words concerning His eventual return.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” – John 14:1-3 NLT

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Disorderly Conduct

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6 Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, 8 nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. 9 It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. 10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. – 2 Thessalonians 3:6-10 ESV

After making a personal request for their prayers on his behalf and expressing his desire that their hearts be directed “to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ” (2 Thessalonians 3:5 ESV), Paul shifts into apostle mode. He has one last issue he must address with the church in Thessalonica and it involves disorderly conduct. The Greek word Paul used is ataktōs and it could be used to refer to a soldier who was marching “out of ranks,” or out of step with his fellow soldiers and therefore, violating established military protocol.

But the word was also used to describe anyone who deviated from the prescribed order or rule of society. This could include immoral behavior, but it could also refer to any actions that were out of step with the societal norms of a community or group. In this case, Paul feels compelled to address a particular ataktōs taking place within the Thessalonian church, and it involves a “brother who is walking in idleness” (2 Thessalonians 3: 6 ESV). It seems likely that Paul is not referring to a particular individual, but to the spirit of idleness that must have become prevalent in the church. And rather than addressing the guilty offenders, Paul focuses his attention on the rest of the members of the church. He commands them, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to avoid anyone who lives an undisciplined or disorderly life. Paul saw these people as a serious threat to the spiritual health of the body of Christ.

But why? What was it that these idle or undisciplined people were doing that was so dangerous that it required the rest of the church to avoid them like the plague? Part of the problem was that the actions of these people were “out of step” with the teachings of Paul and his companions. Paul accuses them of living their lives “not in accord with the tradition that you received from us” (2 Thessalonians 3:6 ESV). The word “tradition” is paradosis in the Greek and means “to give up” or “give over.” Paul and his fellow missionaries had “given over” clear instructions regarding the gospel and the Christian life, by word of mouth and in writing. They had taught the Thessalonians how to conduct their lives as followers of Christ, and these idle individuals were out of step with that instruction. They had heard it but were refusing to conduct to their lives according to it.

And Paul reminds the Thessalonians that he had not only taught them what to do, he had also modeled it in front of them.

For you know that you ought to imitate us. We were not idle when we were with you. We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. – 2 Thessalonians 3:7-8 NLT

With this statement, Paul seems to get to the heart of the matter. These idle members of the fellowship were freeloading off of the rest of the congregation, refusing to work, and expecting others to provide them with food to eat. They had become social parasites, depending upon the goodwill of their fellow church members, rather than using their God-given abilities to do their part. They were lazy. And Paul was not alone in his condemnation of such behavior. He was a student of the Hebrew Scriptures and knew what God’s Word had to say about the dangers of such a lifestyle.

Fools fold their idle hands, leading them to ruin. – Ecclesiastes 4:5 NLT

The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor. – Proverbs 12:24 ESV

Lazy people sleep soundly, but idleness leaves them hungry.– Proverbs 19:15 NLT

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.– Proverbs 20:4 NLT

Paul understood that laziness was not just a personal problem. It was a drain on the community. But Paul was not suggesting that the church avoid the needs of the less fortunate or destitute. This was all about able-bodied individuals who were refusing to work with their hands and putting an unnecessary burden on the rest of the members of the faith community. As far as Paul was concerned, the idleness of these people was nothing less than godlessness, and according to the Scriptures, God has no intention of meeting the needs of the wicked.

The Lord will not let the godly go hungry, but he refuses to satisfy the craving of the wicked. Lazy people are soon poor… – Proverbs 10:3-4 NLT

Even as a minister of the gospel, Paul had every right to expect and even demand payment for his services. In his first letter to the church in Corinth, Paul had defended his right to compensation as a minister of the gospel.

Don’t we have the right to live in your homes and share your meals? …Or is it only Barnabas and I who have to work to support ourselves? What soldier has to pay his own expenses? What farmer plants a vineyard and doesn’t have the right to eat some of its fruit? What shepherd cares for a flock of sheep and isn’t allowed to drink some of the milk? – 1 Corinthians 9:4, 6-7 NLT

Paul went on to accuse the Corinthians of having a double standard because they were caring for the needs of some ministers, but not those of he and Barnabas.

If you support others who preach to you, shouldn’t we have an even greater right to be supported? But we have never used this right. We would rather put up with anything than be an obstacle to the Good News about Christ. – 1 Corinthians 9:12 NLT

For Paul, it was always about the integrity of the gospel message. He was not going to let anything stand in the way of spreading the good news concerning Jesus Christ. And he would rather pay his own way rather than run the risk of being accused of being in the ministry for personal gain.

And, he reminds the Thessalonians that when he was among them, he never accepted a meal without paying for it.

We never accepted food from anyone without paying for it. We worked hard day and night so we would not be a burden to any of you. – 2 Thessalonians 3:8 NLT

He certainly had a right to demand payment for services rendered, but he had refused to do so. And his example was meant to be followed. So, there was no excuse for the church to tolerate the damaging influence of the willingly idle and disorderly. In fact, when Paul had been in Thessalonica, he had warned them not to provide food for those who refused to work.

…we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10 NLT

The body of Christ is meant to be an organism, a living community of like-minded individuals who each contribute to the well-being of the whole. There is no place for laziness or self-centeredness. And Paul wrote often about this communal aspect of the body of Christ, encouraging believers to do their God-given part to contribute to the spiritual and physical well-being of the whole faith community.

Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. – Romans 12:4-5 NLT

And Paul made it clear that God placed every member in the body with a particular gift designed to minister to the rest of the members.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. – Romans 12:6-8 NLT

As Paul told the believers in Corinth, “A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other” (1 Corinthians 12:7 NLT). So, there was no place for idleness or laziness in the body of Christ. These lazy, self-absorbed individuals were living out of step with God’s plans for the church. Rather than acting as Spirit-empowered contributors to the flock, they were acting as self-centered drains on the limited resources and patience of their fellow members. And Paul would not allow it to continue.

This was not new information for the Thessalonians. They were not hearing this teaching for the first time. Paul had addressed the issue of diligence and hard work in his first letter to them.

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. – 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 NLT

There is no place for disorderly conduct within the body of Christ. And those who are guilty of it should be treated as social pariahs. Because the danger they pose to the faith community is real and the discredit their actions bring to the cause of Christ is undeniable. The church has no place for the lazy and disorderly. While the needy and lost are always welcome, those who come to faith in Christ but who refuse to live in keeping with the teachings of Christ are to be avoided at all costs. Because not to do so could cause irreparable damage to the body of Christ and the integrity of the gospel.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Taking the ME out of Messiah.

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21 From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22 And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” 23 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28 Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” –  Matthew 16:21-28 ESV

In response to Jesus’ question, “But who do you say that I am?,” Peter had been the first of the 12 to speak up, saying, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16 ESV). And Jesus had commended Peter for his answer, acknowledging that it had been revealed to him by God. Peter’s awareness of who Jesus was had come as a direct result of God’s revelation, not human intelligence or the teaching of men.

This common fisherman had been able to see something to which the learned scribes and Pharisees remained oblivious. They were experts in the Mosaic law and students of the Hebrew Scriptures, but had failed to see what Peter had seen. They had accused Jesus of operating under the power and influence of Satan. To them, He was little more than a heretic and a man who willingly associated with prostitutes and sinners. They were spiritually blind and unable to see what Peter saw.

Peter was blessed for having been given the capacity to recognize Jesus as the Messiah, but he was about to find out that the privilege of divinely inspired insight came at a cost. The disciples were able to see Jesus for who He was – their Messiah and Savior – but now they were going to find out exactly what that meant. Their preconceived notions of the Messiah’s role were about to be rocked. Any hopes they had of watching Jesus set up His kingdom on earth and placing them in positions of power and authority were going to be shattered.

Following Peter’s confession came Jesus’ revelation.

Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. – Matthew 16:16 ESV

And we don’t have to wonder how this announcement impacted the disciples, because Matthew makes it quite clear.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” – Matthew 16:22 ESV

Once again, Peter was the first to speak up. But this time, his words would reward him with a rebuke from Jesus, not a blessing. In the Greek, Peter’s response was essentially, “God have mercy on you!” He was expressing his deep-felt desire that God not allow what Jesus had said to happen. Peter wanted God to forbid the words of Jesus from coming to fruition. In his impulsiveness, Peter was speaking from his heart. He was appalled by what he had heard. The thought of Jesus suffering and dying was not something he could get his head around. It made no sense. It didn’t fit into his expectations concerning the Messiah. And he couldn’t imagine that God would allow something like this to happen.

While Peter had been shocked at Jesus’ announcement, he was about to be rocked by Jesus’ response to him.

“Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, because you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but on man’s.” – Matthew 16:23 NLT

Ouch! That had to sting. Here was the man who had just been pronounced as blessed because of his confession that Jesus was the Messiah. Now, Jesus was calling him, “Satan.” What a dramatic turn of events. What an amazing fall from grace. Peter had gone from teacher’s pet to spiritual adversary. But why did Jesus respond so harshly? Peter meant well. He simply couldn’t imagine Jesus having to go through the things He had described. But Jesus saw Peter’s response for what it was: Satanically inspired.

Just as God had revealed to Peter that Jesus was the Messiah, Satan was attempting to influence Peter’s perception of what that meant. Satan wasn’t trying to dissuade Peter from believing Jesus was the Messiah. He simply wanted to confuse his understanding of the Messiah’s role. Like any good Jew, Peter’s view of the Messiah was somewhat self-centered and self-serving. He was interpreting his God-given awareness of Jesus as the Messiah through a man-made set of expectations. Notice what Jesus accused him of. He was setting his mind on man’s interests, not God’s. He was thinking about what he wanted from the Messiah, not God’s purpose for the Messiah.

Peter was displaying a what’s-in-it-for-me mindset that viewed the Messiah as the answer to all of his personal problems. To Peter’s way of thinking, Jesus was no good to him dead. But what Peter failed to understand was that Jesus would not be the Messiah or Savior unless He died. Jesus had not come to fulfill the will of men, but the will of His Father in heaven. And Peter was going to have to learn that his personal expectations of the Messiah were going to have to take a backseat to God’s will concerning the Messiah.

Which is why Jesus turned to all the disciples and said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24 ESV). All of these men had experienced the call of Jesus, inviting them to follow Him. Now, Jesus was letting them know the cost of that calling. Their original motivation to follow Jesus had been self-serving. They had seen something in it for them. But now, Jesus was telling them that their calling came with a cost: Self-denial.

Jesus had just revealed that the role of Messiah came with a tremendous cost. He would suffer and die. In the same way, the role of disciple came with a cost. Just as Jesus would have to die to Himself, they would be required to die to their own self-interests. Jesus would go on to tell His disciples, “whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:27-28 NLT).

Peter had simply wanted to save the life of Jesus. But Jesus told him, “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25 NLT). The model for true discipleship was that of self-sacrifice and selfless service, not self-centeredness. Jesus was attempting to focus the attention of His disciples on the eternal rather than the temporal. He wanted them to think about the kingdom to come, not their own kingdom on earth. Peter wanted it all here and now. But Jesus warned that getting all you desire in this life was worthless if you ended up losing your soul. Temporal treasures and earthly kingdoms will all pass away. But those who focus their eyes on the eternal will discover that their future reward far outweighs any pleasure they find in the present.

Jesus ends His address to His disciples with a somewhat confusing statement:

“Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” – Matthew 16:28 ESV

These words must have left the disciples scratching their heads. They would have wondered what He meant. They would have wanted to know which of them He was referencing. And if we stop here, this verse will leave us just as confused as the disciples must have been. But we have the next chapter of Matthew’s gospel account to provide us with insight.

1 And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2 And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light. – Matthew 17:1-12 ESV

The disciples would have to go six days without a clue as to what Jesus had meant. Fortunately, we’re given an immediate understanding of just what Jesus had been talking about. But more about that tomorrow.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Sound Doctrine. Sound Faith.

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For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth. To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work. – Titus 1:10-16 ESV

Like Timothy, Titus was one of Paul’s protégés. He was a Greek Gentile whom Paul had evidently led to Christ. This young man had actually accompanied Paul on several of his missionary journeys and had gained the great apostle’s trust, so that Paul was confident in sending him out on his own on numerous occasions as his representative. In fact, Paul had sent him to the island of Crete in order to help establish some sense of order within the churches there, including appointing elders to help him lead. “This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you” (Titus 1:5 NLT). As in the case of Timothy, Paul provided Titus with advice on how to deal with false teachers who had become a real problem within the fledgling churches on Crete.

Titus found himself ministering in a place where the reputation of the inhabitants was far from stellar. Paul even quoted Epimenides, a 6th Century BC philosopher and religious prophet who happened to be a Cretan himself. He said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons” (Titus 1:12 ESV). Paul went out of his way to paint a less-than-flattering picture of the people of Crete. He described them as  “insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party” (Titus 1:10 ESV). Evidently, not only were the false teachers considered men of poor repute, so were some of the members of the local churches on Crete. So, Paul spent a great deal of time in his letter talking about good works. He wanted Titus to understand just how important good character and moral behavior should be in the life of every believer. Paul commanded Titus to deal harshly and firmly with those whose lives were marked by laziness and lying. He didn’t want his young disciple to tolerate the disorder and chaos these kinds of people were bringing into the church. He told Titus to “rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith” (Titus 1:13 ESV). Rebuking and restoration were both to be a part of Titus’ ministry on Crete.

Paul’s objective was to make these individuals “sound in the faith”. There was a real problem with false and deceptive ideas regarding the faith taking place on Crete. The faith refers to salvation as expressed through belief in Jesus Christ as Savior. The false teachers were confusing and even contradicting what Paul, Titus and others had taught regarding what it means to have faith in Christ and enjoy forgiveness of sins and a restored relationship with God. Rather than faith alone in Christ alone, new and confusing gospel messages were being taught, and the result was weakness in faith among the people. They didn’t know what to believe anymore. One of the qualifications for elders that Paul gave Titus was: “He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it” (Titus 1:9 ESV). These men were to be knowledgeable of the truth so that they might refute falsehood and rebuke those who taught it. As far as Paul was concerned, sound faith was totally dependent upon sound doctrine.

But these false teachers were teaching “what they ought not to teach” and all “for shameful gain” (Titus 1:11 ESV). Paul refers to them as being from the circumcision party. This is a reference to Jews who had expressed faith in Christ, but who held to the idea that Gentiles who became believers in Christ must also keep the Law of Moses and undergo the rite of circumcision in order to be truly saved. Paul fought this heresy with every fiber of his being. And Paul’s fear was that, based on the reputation of the Cretans, they would easily accept this false teaching, and end up “devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth” (Titus 1:14 ESV). The Cretans were easily swayed by the “commands” or teachings of these people, readily accepting what they had to say about circumcision, abstinence from certain foods, the keeping of Jewish feasts and festivals and adherence to the Mosaic law. But Paul warns Titus that these false teachers “claim they know God, but they deny him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good” (Titus 1:16 ESV). Paul makes it clear that the real problem with these false teachers was their hearts. He says, “Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, because their minds and consciences are corrupted” (Titus 1:15 NLT). They were obsessed with the externals: keeping of laws and commands,  and adherence to rituals and religious rules.

There was an occasion when Jesus was approached by a group of Pharisees and religious leaders, who wanted to know why His disciples didn’t follow their man=made tradition of ceremonial hand-cleaning before they ate. Jesus responded to them:

“And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote,

‘These people honor me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship is a farce,
    for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’” – Matthew 15:3-9 NLT

 

Jesus went on to say: “It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth” (Matthew 15:11 NLT). The Pharisees had missed the point. They were so busy keeping external rules that they missed the real problem: The condition of their hearts. And Paul knew that the false teachers who were so negatively impacting the churches on Crete had the same problem. Their minds and consciences were defiled. Their hearts were hardened to the truth regarding faith in Christ. They were convinced that there had to be more to salvation. Faith alone in Christ alone was not enough. Works of self-righteousness were necessary. But Paul describes them as defiled and unbelieving. They were wrong and they were dangerous. So Paul tells Titus to rebuke them sharply. He was to deal harshly with the false teachers, and he was to rebuke the Cretans who were so easily buying into their lies. Sound doctrine and sound faith go hand in hand. The Word of God is not open to our interpretation. We are not free to add to the gospel or alter the truth in any way. And we are not to tolerate those who attempt to mislead by misinterpreting what God has said. Again, that is why Paul told Titus an elder must “have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong” (Titus 1:9 NLT).

Paul had also written to Timothy, telling him that the purpose for his letter was that “you will know how people must conduct themselves in the household of God. This is the church of the living God, which is the pillar and foundation of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15 NLT). The church and its leaders must adhere to and uphold the truth of God, especially as it relates to the message and means of salvation. There is no other gospel except the one we have been given: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31 ESV).

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Tough Love.

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But I call God to witness against me—it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth. Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.

For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. – 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4 ESV

Even as an apostle of Jesus Christ, Paul did not see himself as spiritually superior to the Corinthians. He viewed himself as their ally and an asset to their spiritual development. He claims, “we work with you for your joy” (2 Corinthians 1:24 ESV). He, Silas and Timothy were tools in God’s hands, used by Him to assist the Corinthians in their growth and development. And in spite of some of the issues going on within the church in Corinth, Paul still felt like they were firm in their faith. This made his decision to delay his visit, fully based on the will of God, much easier to make.

But there was another reason he postponed his visit: to keep from causing them pain and sorrow. Evidently, Paul had made a second visit to Corinth some time between his original one when he helped establish the church there. It was on this second visit that he had to deal with some particularly difficult circumstances taking place in the church. This occasion had caused great pain. Being reprimanded is never easy. And having to be the one to call them out had not been enjoyable for Paul either. So, he says, “I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved” (2 Corinthians 2:1-2 NLT). It hurt Paul to have to reprimand those whom he loved. This reveals his pastor’s heart, his deep care and affection for the believers in Corinth. They were his children in the faith and he had a deep and abiding love for them and felt a strong sense of responsibility for them. 

Instead of paying them a potentially painful visit, Paul decided to write them a letter. “That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful” (2 Corinthians 2:3 NLT). The letter, now lost, was evidently quite blunt and caused Paul “great anguish” to write. Having to write it caused him great sorrow and left him in tears. But it was necessary and written in love. It was Paul’s hope and desire that the Corinthians would take seriously the painful rebuke and loving reprimand found in his letter and do something about it. What he had written had been for their good and he longed for them to listen to his words and change their ways. Otherwise, when he did finally visit them, it would be another painful reunion.

While Paul loved and cared for the Corinthians, he loved them too much to allow them to continue in sin. His affection for them was based on the love of Christ and his knowledge that he was responsible to God for their spiritual welfare. Paul did not enjoy or take pleasure in hurting them. He simply wanted to see them enjoy all that God had in store for them, made possible by the death of Christ on the cross. Later on in this letter, Paul gives them an explanation for the harsh nature of his previous letter.

I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. – 2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NLT

Paul found joy in their repentance, not in their happiness. To refrain from telling someone the truth just because you don’t want to cause them pain is not love. It is a twisted form of hate. To knowingly allow them to continue in sin is cruel and makes you an accomplice in their sin. You are actually enabling their sinful behavior through you silence. Too often, as Christians, our fear of losing face or friends keeps us from saying what needs to be sad. But Paul believed that holiness was far more important than happiness. Our love for one another is best expressed in our unwillingness to tolerate sin in one another’s lives. Which is why Paul told the Colossian believers: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16 ESV). Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3 ESV). Solomon wrote, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:3 ESV). David wrote, “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it” (Psalm 141:5 NLT).

Tough love is tough to pull off. It is difficult to confront those whom we love. It caused Paul pain to say what he had to say to the Corinthians. But it was necessary. It was the godly thing to do. He told the Corinthians that he wrote the previous letter “to let you know how much love I have for you” (2 Corinthians 2:4 NLT). When we care for another believer’s holiness more than we do their happiness, we truly love them. When we’re willing to risk their rejection in order to bring about their repentance, we truly love them. When their relationship with God takes precedence over their friendship with us, we truly love them. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.