The Peril of Personal Preferences

1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. – Romans 14:1-9 ESV

Opinions: everybody has one. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with having an opinion, when it comes to our faith, they can be dangerous and destructive. So it makes sense that Paul would take on this delicate and sensitive matter as he deals with the practical role of the gospel in the life of the believer.

Paul has already said that believers are to “owe no one anything, except to love each other” (Romans 13:8 ESV). They are to “walk (conduct their lives) properly as in the daylight…not in quarreling and jealousy” (Romans 13:13 ESV). Now he warns them “not to quarrel over opinions” (Romans 14:1 ESV).

Paul knew that the church in Rome was just like any other church; it was made up of people from all walks of life, differing religious backgrounds, conflicting cultural heritages, and diverse personality types. There were those who were more mature in their faith and others who were still spiritual infants. And he knew that the health of the church was ultimately dependent upon the unity the believers maintained with one another. Unity was on Jesus’ mind when He prayed His High Priestly Prayer in the garden just hours before His death.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” – John 17:20-21 ESV

Personal opinions can be one of the greatest threats to the unity of any local body of Christ. But when Paul talks about opinions, he has something very specific in mind. The Greek word he uses is “diakrisis,” and it refers to “passing judgment on opinions, as to which one is to be preferred as the more correct” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon). What Paul addresses here is the tendency for one believer to judge another’s opinion based on their own preconceived notions of right and wrong.

The author of Hebrews warns us that the ability to discern right from wrong comes from spending time in the Word of God.

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong. – Hebrews 5:12-14 NLT

Opinions that are not based on God’s Word will ultimately be divisive and destructive. Paul goes on to give examples of just what he is talking about.

one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. – Romans 14:2 ESV

Old Testament dietary laws were a major factor in the early church because of the presence of believing Jews who felt obligated to keep the laws concerning the consumption of pure and impure foods. The local church in Rome was made up of people from various cultural backgrounds who brought their particular religious requirements with them. One member of the local body had strong convictions about abstaining from meat, while another member saw no problem with it. But each believed their opinion was the right one, which led to disunity and disagreement.

Paul doesn’t deal with the why behind either decision; he simply says, “Don’t despise and don’t judge.” God did not welcome either member into the body of Christ based on their eating habits. Each belonged to Him, so Paul asks, “Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall.” (Romans 14:4 NLT). The “master” Paul has in mind is God. Each believer must answer to God for their opinions about food, whether right or wrong.

Where all of this becomes a problem is when our opinions are based on personal preferences and not the clear teaching of God’s Word. We can easily develop strong convictions about a variety of topics that have no basis in Scripture, or they may be based on a poor interpretation and application of God’s Word.

Too often, we take general admonitions from God’s Word and try to make them specific. For example, the Bible is clear that we are to treat God with honor and worship Him reverently and respectfully. But the Bible does not tell us exactly what our worship services should look like. We are not given specific directions regarding musical styles or the order of worship. There are no clear indications or admonitions regarding how we are to dress when we gather for worship. Where it gets dangerous is when we start arguing over specifics based on our personal opinions rather than the clear teachings of Scripture. My personal music tastes should never lead me to judge another whose preferences differ from mine. My opinions about clothing styles should not cause me to look down my nose at someone who dresses differently from me.

Paul’s point is that our emphasis needs to be on the heart behind the opinion. Why does someone feel the need to abstain from meat? Why does another individual have strong opinions about contemporary music? What is the motivation behind the way in which that person dresses? Paul says that the one who determines to observe a particular day as better than another should do so in honor of the Lord. In other words, his decision should be made with God in mind.

Your decision to eat or abstain should be based on a desire to honor God, not some self-centered opinion about right or wrong. We are to “live to the Lord” because we belong to Him. Our opinions are to be based on His will, not our own. Our preferences should be influenced by His desires for us. Judgment and hate have no place in the body of Christ.

We are to love one another, accept one another, prefer one another, esteem one another, encourage one another, and submit to one another. Unity is the key to experiencing true community and demonstrating the love of God to a lost and dying world.

Father, we all bring our personal preferences with us when we gather as the body of Christ. It’s obvious in the way we dress, the style of worship music we like, and the kinds of people we associate with. Whether we want to admit it or not, we spend a great deal of time judging one another and making false assumptions about others based on external factors that have nothing to do with Scripture and do nothing to promote unity and demonstrate love. I can be as guilty of this as anyone. But Paul makes it clear that these kinds of attitudes are inappropriate and unacceptable in the church. They do nothing to build up the body of Christ. In fact, they create barriers, encourage cliques, and destroy the sense of unity and oneness that Jesus longed to see. Thank You for opening my eyes to the problem. Now, would You help me to die to my personal preferences and replace them with a desire to live in unity with my brothers and sisters in Christ. That we may be one as You and Your Son are one. Amen

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.22

A Little Folly Goes a Long Way

1 Dead flies make the perfumer’s ointment give off a stench;
    so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor.
A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right,
    but a fool’s heart to the left.
Even when the fool walks on the road, he lacks sense,
    and he says to everyone that he is a fool.
If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
    for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.

There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, as it were an error proceeding from the ruler: folly is set in many high places, and the rich sit in a low place. I have seen slaves on horses, and princes walking on the ground like slaves. Ecclesiastes 10:1-7 ESV

There is little doubt that Solomon was a big fan of wisdom. He knew first-hand the value that wisdom could afford a man. But he also knew that wisdom has its limits. In the world in which he lived, there was no one who possessed perfect wisdom. Even he, the wisest man who ever lived, had made foolish mistakes. Despite the vast amount of God-given wisdom he possessed, he had ended up violating the commands of God. During his long life, he had made many unwise decisions that had left an indelible mark on his life and his reign as king.

That seems to be his point in verse 1, where he uses the metaphor of a fly in the ointment. The ointment Solomon had in mind was most likely olive oil, which was used as both a perfume and a healing agent. Like wisdom, the ointment was intended to have a positive effect, acting as a sweet-smelling perfume or a health-inducing medicine. But one dead fly could turn the positive properties of ointment into a diseased-filled, stench-producing product that was of no good to anyone. In the same way, one foolish act can destroy years of wise decision-making. The damaging effects of even a modicum of foolish behavior are immeasurable. It doesn’t take much. And Paul used a similar metaphor when he warned against the impact of false teaching on the church.

This false teaching is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough! – Galatians 5:9 NLT

There are two ways we can look at Ecclesiastes 10:1. The first is that a wise person can destroy their reputation for wisdom by making one foolish decision. It can become like a fly in the ointment, quickly nullifying the years of beneficial value established by living a life of wisdom. But it can also refer to the impact one fool can have on a family, community, or nation. All it takes is a single individual making one foolish decision to destroy years of wise counsel and leadership. And interestingly enough, Solomon’s own foolish decisions would eventually reap devastating consequences for the nation of Israel. The kingdom his father David had established would end up divided in half and would never regain its former glory. The book of 1 Kings provides a description of Solomon’s fly-in-the-ointment failure that led to God’s removal of him as king and the division of the Davidic Kingdom.

The Lord was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. He had warned Solomon specifically about worshiping other gods, but Solomon did not listen to the Lord’s command. So now the Lord said to him, “Since you have not kept my covenant and have disobeyed my decrees, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your servants. But for the sake of your father, David, I will not do this while you are still alive. I will take the kingdom away from your son. And even so, I will not take away the entire kingdom; I will let him be king of one tribe, for the sake of my servant David and for the sake of Jerusalem, my chosen city.” – 1 Kings 11:9-13 NLT

And perhaps it was because Solomon had seen the error of his ways, even if a bit too late, that he spoke so often and so highly of wisdom. He knew that godly wisdom was a deterrent to poor decision-making because it led its adherents down the right path.

But the path of the righteous is like the bright morning light,
growing brighter and brighter until full day.
The way of the wicked is like gloomy darkness;
they do not know what they stumble over. – Proverbs 4:18-19 NLT

Solomon knew that a fool, devoid of godly wisdom, would allow his deceived heart to lead him down the wrong path. And it’s not difficult to spot a fool, because the course of his life gives ample proof that his decision-making is godless and unrighteous.

Even when the fool walks on the road, he lacks sense,
    and he says to everyone that he is a fool. – Ecclesiastes 10:3 ESV

He’s unable to hide his foolishness because his life choices provide glaring evidence of his lack of wisdom. And Solomon provides a real-life example that contrasts the actions of a fool with those of a wise man.

If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place,
    for calmness will lay great offenses to rest. – Ecclesiastes 10:4 ESV

If you find that someone in authority is angry with you, don’t act like a fool and impulsively quit. Instead, respond with wisdom, remaining calm and allowing your superior time to cool off. Use self-control. Don’t allow foolish pride to dictate your response and determine your fate.

This is not a guarantee that the ruler will calm down. It doesn’t mean that your wise response will necessarily produce the right reaction from the one who is angry and acting unjustly. But a wise person will not allow the foolish behavior of another to infect and affect their own behavior.

The truth is, there are sometimes fools sitting in places of authority who wield great power. That seems to be Solomon’s point when he writes, “folly is set in many high places, and the rich sit in a low place” (Ecclesiastes 10:6 ESV). The sad reality is that the undeserving and unqualified are sometimes rewarded with positions of power where they rule over those with greater skills and proven track records of success. Solomon refers to them as “rich”, but the Hebrew word can refer to someone who is honorable and noble. In other words, they are someone of worth and character who finds themselves placed in an inferior position and having to submit to the authority of a fool. Solomon describes this sad state of affairs as an evil under the sun. But it’s just a reality of life.

Like Solomon, we live in a world that is sometimes topsy-turvy, where everything appears to be just the opposite of what it should be. In his day, he put this incongruity in visual terms, describing the disturbing sight of “slaves on horses, and princes walking on the ground like slaves” (Ecclesiastes 10:7 ESV).

This was just further proof of the injustice and inequities that abound in this life. And we see the same thing in our day. How many times have we witnessed the promotion of a less-qualified individual for a position of prominence in our company? How often have we seen the undeserving fast-tracked to promotion while the more gifted and talented are overlooked? We have experienced this kind of injustice ourselves. But the fact that it happens doesn’t disqualify the value of wisdom over folly. It’s simply proof of the pervasive presence of sin in the world. 

The prophet Isaiah provides us with a glimpse into the mindset that permeates our fallen world.

What sorrow for those who say
    that evil is good and good is evil,
that dark is light and light is dark,
    that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.
What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes
    and think themselves so clever. – Isaiah 5:20-21 NLT

What an apt description of the world in which we live. And it was true in Solomon’s day as well. It is the nature of life in a world where godlessness has produced a pandemic of foolishness. And while wisdom is essential and to be desired above all else, wisdom alone cannot rectify the problem we face in this world. As Solomon so aptly put it in Proverbs 1:7: “Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

Without a knowledge of God and a reverence for who He is, humanity lacks the ability to understand right from wrong, truth from falsehood, good from evil, and righteousness from wickedness. Without God, mankind invariably turns to human wisdom, which always proves insufficient and incapable of providing reliable help in navigating through life. The apostle Paul gives us a wonderful description of the difference between worldly wisdom and that which comes from God.

Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say,

“He traps the wise
    in the snare of their own cleverness.”

And again,

“The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise;
    he knows they are worthless.” – 1 Corinthians 3:18-20 NLT

Surviving in this world requires wisdom, but it must be wisdom that is founded on a relationship with God Almighty. The wisdom we need must be based on who He is and what He desires. Without Him, our wisdom becomes folly. Apart from God, man’s wisdom always proves insufficient and inadequate to comprehend the dangers of a fallen world and a foolish heart.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)  Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson