weaker vessel

In the Same Way…

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7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For

“Whoever desires to love life
    and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
    and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
    let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” – 1 Peter 3:7-12 ESV

For the second time, Peter uses the Greek word, ὁμοίως (homoiōs), which can be translated, “in the same way.” He incorporated it in his admonition to Christian women whose husbands had not yet placed their faith in Christ. And in the same way that Peter expected bond slaves to submit to their masters, he was calling on these believing women to express godly submission to their unbelieving husbands. Peter was not suggesting that these women were no better than slaves or that they needed to assume some kind of subservient relationship to their husbands. For Peter, it was all about godly conduct and living as servants of God. That’s why he told the entire congregation to “Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king” (1 Peter 3:17 NLT).

As daughters of God, the believing wives in this local congregation were expected to ”be subject to” to their husbands. He was encouraging them to willingly come under their husband’s leadership as the God-ordained head of the household. There was a divinely mandated order of roles and responsibilities within the marriage relationship, and it had nothing to do with capabilities or qualifications. The apostle Paul articulated the very same pattern for leadership that God established for the home.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:21-24 NLT

Notice how Paul presents submission as an all-encompassing requirement for the people of God. We’re all supposed to submit to one another – outr of reverence for Christ. And when a woman submits to her husband’s leadership, she is actually submitting to the authority of Jesus Himself. As members of Christ’s body, every believer daily submits themselves to Christ’s headship. They willingly come under His leadership and live as His humble servants, in whatever circumstance in which they find themselves – as citizens, slaves, wives, and, yes, as husbands.

After addressing the wives, Peter turns his attention to believing husbands, and he uses that same Greek word, ὁμοίως,  again. In “the same way” that wives are to submit to their husbands,  so husbands are to live with their wives in “an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7 ESV). Peter does not delineate whether the wife is a believer or not. In that culture, the woman was expected to follow her husband’s lead and accept whatever faith he chose for the family. The woman had no say in the matter. But Peter doesn’t want believing husbands to use their God-given authority in a unsympathetic or coercive way. That’s why he recommends that husbands display an intimate “knowledge” of their wives. A Christian husband was to take the time to understand his wife’s temperament and emotions. He was to cultivate a healthy respect for her unique physical, emotional, and psychological makeup. This would require listening to what she had to say and actively ministering to her needs. And that would require submission.

Peter wanted godly men to understand that their wives were vessels of honor, worthy of their respect and deserving of their care and protection. His reference to the wife as the “weaker vessel” was not intended as a slight or a declaration of her lesser value. In other words, this has nothing to do with superiority and inferiority. The term “weaker vessel” has to do with strength, not value. The Greek word is ἀσθενής (asthenēs) and it means “without strength.” The Greek word for “vessel” is σκεῦος (skeuos) and it has to do with a household utensil. It could be used to refer to a fragile clay pot or even a more expensive pitcher made of fine porcelain. Paul used the same word when referring to the believer’s body in which “the light of the knowledge of the glory of God” resides (2 Corinthians 4:6 ESV).

But we have this treasure in jars [σκεῦος] of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. – 2 Corinthians 4:7 ESV

Christians husbands are to view their wives as priceless in value and vulnerable to spiritual attack. As heads of their household, these men were expected to protect and honor their wives, treating them as fellow heirs of the inheritance of faith. If a believing husband had a wife who shared his faith, he was to view her as a co-heir of “an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven” (1 Peter 1:4 ESV). He was no better than her. He was no more deserving of God’s grace and mercy that she was.

But even if his wife was not a believer, the husband was still expected to love and honor her as a priceless treasure given to him by God. To drive home the seriousness of this matter, Peter announces that a failure to do so will result in unanswered prayer. A husband could not treat his wife with dishonor or disrespect and expect God to hear and answer his prayers.

Finally, Peter turns his attention back to the church as a whole.

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. – 1 Peter 3:8-9 NLT

After getting specific with slaves, wives, and husbands, Peter addressed the need for the entire congregation to embrace unity, mutual submission, sacrificial love, and humility. There was no place in the body of Christ for revenge or retaliation. Brothers and sisters in Christ might inadvertently hurt one another, but they were to respond with grace, mercy, and forgiveness. As transformed followers of Christ, they were no longer to live out of their old lifestyles. They were new creations who were each equipped with the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

And Peter wraps up his admonition by quoting from Psalm 34:12-16.

“If you want to enjoy life
    and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
Turn away from evil and do good.
    Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
    and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
    against those who do evil.” – 1 Peter 3:10-12 NLT

Each of these people had come to faith in Christ hoping that they would experience a joyful and prosperous life. But instead, they were having to endure persecution and rejection. They were facing trials and tribulations of all kinds, and the natural tendency was to react with anger, resentment, and even hatred toward those who were the source of their problems. But Peter calls them to refrain from speaking evil, to speak truth rather than lies, and to do good rather than evil. In no way does Peter suggest that their trials are going to go away if they do these things. His reference to “happy days” is not intended as a promise of a trouble-free life.

By reacting to the unpleasant circumstances in a Christlike manner, they could experience true joy. This is exactly what James wrote in the book that bears his name.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. – James 1:2-4 NLT

Their relationship with Christ might not alter their circumstances, but through the power of the Spirit, they could see a marked difference in their reaction to them.

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

New English Translation (NET)NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.

 

Honor Like It.

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7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  – 1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Now, Peter turns his attention to the husband. He addresses those men living within the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, who happen to be believers and married. And, as with the women, Peter is concerned with those who are married to either a believing or non-believing spouse. His counsel will apply in either case. And the words he has to say to the husbands, while shorter in length, are loaded with meaning and significance. He tells them to “live with your wives in an understanding way.” That sounds easy enough, but we have to grasp what Peter is really saying. The Greek phrase he uses is κατὰ γνῶσιν, and it means, “according to knowledge.” What does that mean? Well, it begins with the Greek word for knowledge, which has a range of meanings. It can refer to general knowledge or intelligence, but it can also refer to moral wisdom that exhibits itself in right living. Peter seems to be encouraging a believing husband to live with his wife in such a way that his behavior shows a clear knowledge of right and wrong regarding his relationship with her. What would God have him do? How would God have him treat his wife? On top of that, is the need for the husband to understand and know his wife, both as the individual to whom he is married and as a member of the female race. She is different in terms of personality and temperament, but also gender. The husband is going to have to take the time to get to know his wife and see her as God has made her. She is a unique individual whom God has gifted and equipped with her own personal character. A loving husband will take the time to know his wife well. And he will see her as God does, as “the weaker vessel.” 

But that phrase typically conjures up extremely negative connotations in our 21st-Century minds. It sounds patronizing and patriarchal, something a man would say and think. But Peter is writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so we have to attempt to figure out what he means by these words. Is he referring to women as somehow inferior to men? Is he insinuating that they are less valuable or incapable of contributing to the well-being of the family or society?

Peter tells husbands to show honor to their wives. The Greek word he uses is timē, and it refers to deference, even reverence. It is an honor which naturally belongs to the one it is shown. They deserve it. The wife, as a woman, is a creation of God. She was made in the image of God. She was uniquely crafted by God to complement and complete the man. If we go back to the creation account found in the book of Genesis, we hear these words from God, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” (Genesis 2:18 NLT). In the book of Proverbs, we read this assessment regarding a man who finds a wife. “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22 NLT). A wife is a blessing. She is a gift from God. Proverbs 31:10 describes the value of a wife as “more precious than rubies.” Proverbs 12:4 says she is “the crown of her husband.” And a believing husband should understand these things and honor his wife as such. She is precious, priceless and a gift from God – whether she is a believer or not.

But let’s go back to the term, “weaker vessel.” What did Peter mean? Is it a statement of physical strength? Perhaps. But that would seem to be an incomplete and, in some cases, inaccurate rendering. Not all women are physically weaker than all men. Is he referring to intelligence? That would be highly unlikely if we consider the centuries-worth of clear evidence that proves the female’s capacity to compete with men on an equal intellectual plane. So, what is Peter talking about and why would he use this kind of language to refer to wives? The Greek word Peter uses is asthenēs, and it has two significant parts: The second half of the word come from another Greek word, sthenoō, which refers to strength. The first half of the word is a negative participle that means “without.” So, the word Peter uses simply means, “without strength.” I tend to believe that Peter is using this word to speak of an unbelieving wife or at least, a wife who has followed her husband in accepting Christ, but is not as strong in her faith. It is the same word used by Paul when he refers to a weaker brother or sister in Christ.

In his letter to the church in Corinth, Paul was forced to deal with a situation regarding the eating of meat sacrificed to idols. There were those in the church who understood that there was nothing wrong with eating this meat because there are really no such thing as other gods. They are figments of man’s imagination. But there were some in the church who, having come out of pagan backgrounds, viewed the eating of meat sacrificed to false gods as somehow worshiping them. They did not fully understand that these gods were not real, and Paul refers to them as “weaker.” He writes:

9 But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. 10 For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? 11 So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. 12 And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 8:9-12 NLT

The idea was that there were those in the fellowship who didn’t know any better. They were “weaker” only in the sense of their spiritual understanding of the matters at hand. I think Peter is using this term in the very same way. It is not a blanket statement about women, but a reference to those wives who were either new believers or unbelievers. Their spiritual understanding was “without strength. ” And their husbands were to show them honor and treat them as a “weaker vessel.” It s the same attitude that Paul had.

22 When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. 23 I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings. – 1 Corinthians 9:22-23 NLT

Peter says that these men were to see their wives as “heirs with you of the grace of life.” This does not necessarily mean salvation. Peter is most likely stating that men and women equally share in God’s gracious gift of life. He has made them both. And a husband and wife equally share in God’s gracious gift of marriage. They are in this thing called marriage together. And they share in the grace of God, together.

The final admonition Peter gives husbands is significant. He warns them that, if they ignore his words, their prayers will be hindered. It they do not treat their wives as “weaker vessels” and honor them as God does, their prayers to God will go unheard. Their inappropriate treatment of their wives will be seen as sin before God. That’s a sobering statement. And this all goes back to the behavior of those who have been called by God. We are to live differently. We are to behave in a way that mirrors our newfound status as sons and daughters of God. And one of the first ways our new life should show up  is in our relationships with other human beings, especially our spouses.

For a husband to live with his wife in an understanding way is going to take wisdom, patience, grace, mercy, and the help of the Holy Spirit. He is going to have to see his wife the way God does. He is going to have to view her through God’s eyes and make her spiritual well-being his highest priority, whether she is a believer or not. Just like the believing wife may bring her husband to faith by her righteous behavior, so a husband may lead his unbelieving wife to Christ by living with her in an understanding way, honoring her as a gift from God and his fellow heir in the grace of life.

 

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Strong Words About the Weak.

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Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7 ESV

We might as deal with the most challenging part of this verse first. What does Peter mean when he refers to women as “the weaker vessel”? He most certainly was not inferring that women are somehow inferior to men. While that was the common societal perspective of his day, Peter, like Jesus, held women in high esteem and as the spiritual equals of men. While he believed in and adhered to God’s created order that the man was to be the head of his household, women were in no way subservient. So what should we make of his point that women are somehow weaker than men? What is he trying to say? The easy and most obvious answer would be that women are, in most cases, physically weaker than men. No, this is not always true, but it is usually an accepted fact that men are physically stronger than women. It could also be referring to the more sensitive nature of a woman’s emotional makeup. Women tend to be exhibit the characteristics of compassion, tenderness, love, kindness, mercy and care. This is not to say that men do not share these traits, but they are more commonly associated with women. Peter could have simply been encouraging the men to whom he was writing to know their wives well and to be sensitive to their physical, spiritual and emotional makeups. One way in which we could view Peter’s words are to see the wife as fine china, weaker in the sense of fragility and value. They are to be treated with tenderness and care. They are to be seen as irreplaceable and priceless.

He told them to “live with your wives in an understanding way.” The literal translation of the phrase Peter uses could be “according to knowledge.” Not only should a husband know his wife well, but he should know how God would have him express love to his wife. He is to honor her based on what he knows about her. And he is to see her as his partner in life, his heir of the grace of life.

It was God’s idea to put man and woman together as husband and wife. Together they complement and complete one another. They each have God-given roles and responsibilities and each is to honor and respect the other. The husband is to see his wife as his partner in life, and that would include in his spiritual life. In the culture in which Peter lived, women were expected to accept the religion of their husbands, without any say or input into the matter. They had no rights regarding the matter. So perhaps Peter is addressing husbands whose wives were not believers. This would seem to fit in with his address to the wives who had husbands who were not yet believers. It was obviously common for men and women to come to faith in Christ while their spouses remained unsaved. So it could be that when Peter addresses wives as “the weaker vessel,” he is either referring to non-believing wives or wives who are less mature in their faith. In his letter to the Romans, Paul addressed this very issue and used similar language. He wrote, “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions” (Romans 14:1 ESV). He then went on to deal with situations within the church involving gray areas or personal convictions. There were those in the church who felt it was wrong to eat certain kinds of foods. They were bringing their convictions from their former religions or lifestyles into the fellowship, without realizing that there were no such restrictions within Christianity. Others in the fellowship, who knew that these convictions were baseless were guilty of looking down on their “weaker” brothers, flaunting their rights and freedoms in their faces. Paul called them on the carpet for this, admonishing them to give up their rights for the sake of their weaker brothers.

So it could be that Peter is making a similar point. He just might be addressing believing husbands whose wives are immature in their faith. Peter could have been encouraging husbands to treat their wives with deference and honor, knowing that their faith was less developed. Whatever the case, Paul’s admonishment to the believers in Rome still applies: “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:7-8 ESV). There is a selflessness that is to characterize the life of a believer, and that is especially true within the marriage context. The husband and wife are to treat one another with honor and respect. They are to understand that their relationship is God-ordained and that together they share in the grace of life.

Peter concludes his remarks to husbands with an interesting word of warning concerning unanswered prayer. He seems to indicate that if a husband does not live with his wife in an understanding way, showing her honor and treating her with respect, his prayers will go unanswered. This shows how important this matter is to God. To mistreat, undervalue or dishonor one’s wife is sin. Sin hampers and hinders our relationship with God. A believing husband who does not place the proper value on his wife cannot expect to be heard by God. When God looks at a marriage, He sees the two as one. He holds them both accountable. There was no doubt that those who came to faith in Peter’s day were faced with all kinds of difficulties in the form of trials, temptations and even persecution. But there would also have been potential conflict within the home. Christianity was bringing with it a certain degree of conflict, even between parents and children, husbands and wives. So Peter called men to love their wives, whether believing or lost, in a way that would please God and keep the channels of communication open between themselves and their heavenly Father.

Without A Word.

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Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. – 1 Peter 3:1-6 ESV

Peter now takes his message of submission into the inner sanctum of the home. And for us, as modern-day Christians, this message can have a certain archaic and painfully old-fashioned ring to it. But we must keep what Peter has written on this within the context of his letter and social setting of the day in which he wrote. First of all, the fact that Peter addressed women at all is not something we should miss. In the culture of his day, women often were considered inferior. They were expected to follow the religion of their husbands and were given little say in the matter. And yet, here is Peter addressing women who had placed their faith in Christ. He is speaking to them as a separate group and addressing their specific situation, providing them with insight into how they were supposed to live as believers when their husbands were not. He knew that they were going against the cultural norms of their day. Rather than worship the false gods of their husbands, these women had placed their faith in Christ and now found themselves in a delicate, if not dangerous, place.

It is important that we recognize that Peter is primarily addressing women who are married to unbelievers. His admonition to submit is applicable to all Christian women, whether their husbands are believers or not, but he seems to be putting a special emphasis on wives whose husbands do not share their faith. He says, “wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV). The idea of submission has a certain distasteful to many. And while we may not particularly like Peter’s command to submit to those in authority over us when it comes to the government or even the workplace, the idea of wives having to submit to their husbands has a particularly unattractive appeal to many today. But it is important to note that when Peter uses the Greek word hypotasso (“to submit”) he is speaking about a willing coming under another as part of God’s willed order. It has nothing to do with worth or value. It is not an admission of superiority or inferiority (Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, s.v. “hypotasso,” by Gerhard Delling, 8 (1972):44). It has everything to do with God’s divine plan and His children’s conduct and character. Ultimately, all of us are required to submit to someone and we are to see our submission as unto the Lord. Each of us answers to Him. God has ordained an order and a structure to the universe. And while the idea of wives having to be subject to their husbands may rub us the wrong way, it is important to remember that God has a method to His seeming madness.

When we live in this world according to God’s will, submitting to His plan for our lives, it not only pleases Him, but it gives living proof of the change that has taken place within us because of the presence of the indwelling Spirit of God. To expect a believing wife to submit to her unbelieving husband seems unfair and potentially stifling to her faith. But God says that her conduct could have a redemptive aspect to it. Christlike behavior can be a powerful force within our relationships. How we act as Christians can have a major influence on the lost with whom we come in contact. So Peter gives these women some insights into how their behavior can have a saving influence on their husbands. And he goes straight to the heart of the matter: “let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4 ESV). Peter’s concern seems to be that women who had discovered their newfound freedom in Christ would allow their behavior to push their unbelieving husbands away from the faith. Believers must never forget that their salvation is not to be viewed in an individualistic way. The good news we have embraced is meant to be shared. Our faith is meant to be lived out among the lost. We are to be salt and light – agents of change and ministers of reconciliation, calling people to be made right with God. That is why the apostle Paul calls on believers to remain as they were when called by God.  “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13 ESV). Our godly influence over the lost in our lives is a big part of God’s plan for our lives.

Much of what Peter says in these verses sounds out of touch with real life. It is counter-cultural and seems to go against the grain of societal expectations. But much of what God expects of us is revolutionary in nature. It is intended to set us apart and requires us to live differently than those around us. It is our ability to do good in the midst of the bad that surrounds us that gets the attention of the lost. Our joy in the midst of sorrow, peace in the middle of the storm, contentment with little, hope in spite of heartache, and our ability to love when treated in unloving ways, that sets us apart.

Paul gives us each some wise words to consider. “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches” (1 Corinthians 7:17 ESV). How does God want to use you right where you are? Who has He placed in your life so that you might have a godly influence over them? Ultimately, our submission to God will lead us to submit to all those with whom we come in contact. We will gladly come under another in order that we might win them over to Christ by our actions.