wise

Proverbs 10d

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The Pleasure and Pain of Parenting.

“A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.” – Proverbs 10:1 NLT

Parenting is hard work. It is not for the feint of heart or the weak of back. It requires incredible energy and fortitude, limitless endurance, boundless courage, and a certain degree of blind faith. Raising children is a huge responsibility that can intimidate the bravest of souls. It can make the strong weak in the knees and turn the most confident of men into sniveling, teary-eyed basket cases. But all the same, there is nothing more gratifying than to watch your children grow and mature, making the most of the gifts and abilities God has given them. It is a blessing to pour into their lives and see God use you in His grand scheme to mold them into the likeness of His Son. It does not always go well or even quite like you had imagined or dreamed. There are setbacks and heartaches along the way. Children have a mind and a will of their own, and their not afraid to use either one. They can be loving and frustrating. They can warm our hearts and try our patience. They can bring a smile to our faces and a tear to our eye – all within just a few minutes time span.

It seems that Solomon knew well the joys and sorrows of parenting. He talked about it a lot. And he dealt regularly with the topic of the foolish child. Here in verse one of Proverbs 10 he describes two different children. One is wise and the other is foolish. He says the wise child brings joy to his father. He makes him proud. But a foolish child makes his mother sad. He brings her to her knees in prayer and despair. The specific Hebrew word Solomon uses for fool is kecîyl and it means fool, stupid fellow or dullard. This is a very specific kind of fool. He is not talking about the simple fool, that child-like fool who, because of his young age, doesn’t know how to make good choices and lacks good judgment. No, Solomon is describing that individual who is stubborn, arrogant, and set in his or her ways. They reject the discipline of their parents and all authorities in their lives. They seem determined to make wrong choices. They are sensual fools, driven by their passions and obsessed with immediate gratification. They can’t deny themselves anything and lack the common sense to know better. These kind of children don’t just happen, they get this way over time. They are that innocent, young boy who one day turns out to be that insolent, rebellious teenager whose parents barely recognize him. He is lazy, unreliable, unteachable, and will ultimately be destroyed for his lack of common sense (Proverbs 10:21). They actually enjoy doing wrong (Proverbs 10:23), and make light of sin (Proverbs 10:10). What mother wouldn’t cry over a child like that?

So how do we keep our children from becoming sensual fools? The easy answer is that we expose them to the wisdom of God. We teach them the truth of God’s Word. We model what it means to fear God and honor Him with our actions. But in the end, their is no guarantee that our children will turn out perfectly. Proverb 22:6 says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” But that is not a promise. It is a proverb or wise saying. It is not a guarantee from God that our children will turn out well if we do out part. There are too many examples of train-wrecked lives to prove that not true. It is a calling to do our part as parents. We have a God-given responsibility to teach our children well, to point them to Christ and to model Christlikeness in front of them. But when it is all said and done, they each have a will of their own. They will each have to develop a faith of their own. They may make wrong choices. They may choose a different path. They may become a sensual fool and bring tears to the eyes of their mother. We can’t make godly children. Only God can do that. So with all our effort at parenting, we must never forget that we need God’s help. He alone can make our children wise. He alone can keep them on the right path. It is their relationship with God through Jesus Christ that will make them wise, not us. We have a part to play, but it is ultimately up to God. Turn them over to Him early in their lives. Place them in His hands for safe keeping. Do your job. Love on them. Teach them. Discipline them. But entrust them to God for their future well-being.

Father, thank You that I am not alone in this parenting thing. You have always been there for me. Any good in my children is totally due to You. I praise You for Your faithfulness to my family. You have each of my kids in Your hands. You will see them through. You have a plan for each of them and that plan will be perfectly fulfilled. Help me to trust You as I play my role as a father in their lives. Amen

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 1b

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The Call of the Wise.

“How long, you simpletons, will you insist on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.” – Proverbs 1:22-23 NLT

In these verses, God, personified as wisdom, calls out to mankind, inviting them to come to Him for wisdom. He specifically targets two different types of fool: The simple fool and the scorning fool. They represent two different extremes in foolish behavior. The simple fool is someone who, like a child, lacks basic common sense. They don’t know right from wrong and are prone to make unwise choices because they just don’t know any better. The scorning fool is further down the road in their foolish behavior and have learned to despise all authority in their lives. They actually enjoy their foolish behavior, defend it and reject anyone who tries to convict them about it. They mock those who would counsel them to change. They refuse to accept correction and visually disdain anyone who attempts to point them in the right direction. They “relish” their mocking.

The answer for both of these individuals is the same. They need God in their lives. They need to listen to His counsel and apply His principles to their lives. The simple fool needs to wake up and realize that he is simpleminded. He is an easy target for the enemy and has a tendency to have a simplified outlook on life. That’s perfectly acceptable for a small child, but there comes a time when we are to grow out of our childish ways. The scorning fool actually enjoys his mocking ways. He has convinced himself that he is right and everyone else, including God, is wrong. They both hate knowledge. They prefer life as it is, doing what is right in their own eyes. But God calls out to them, offering to share His heart with them. He offers wisdom in place of foolishness. Life in place of a slow march toward death.

But in spite of God’s patient, persistent calls, they have refused to come. They paid no attention. They ignored His advice. They reject the correction He offered. So God warns them” “So I will laugh when you are in trouble. I will mock you when disaster overtakes you – when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster engulfs you like a cyclone, and anguish and distress overwhelm you” (Proverbs 1:26-17 NLT). There will come a time when they frantically search for God and cry out to Him for help, but they will not find Him. Why? Because they did not want what He had to offer. They hated knowledge and chose not to fear Him (Proverbs 1:29). They rejected His advice and ignored His loving correction. So God will allow them to “eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes” (Proverbs 1:31 NLT). We’ve all seen it happen. Perhaps we’ve seen it happen to ourselves. We’ve allowed our foolishness to result in pain and disappointment, all because we refused to accept God’s offer of wisdom. We have refused to admit out need for Him. He reminds us that “all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm” (Proverbs 1:33 NLT). God cries out daily to all of us who struggle with being simpleminded and scornful. He pleads with us to listen to His wisdom. He offers us His heart. But too often we insist on being simpleminded and relish our own mocking. How long will we continue? How long until we listen? How long until we learn?

Father, You are all the wisdom I need in this world. You have all I need to live this life and yet I so often prefer my own foolishness over Your wisdom. I choose to live unwisely and then wonder why I suffer so much hurt and heartache because of the foolish things I end up doing. Open my eyes and help me see that it is YOU I need. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 29

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With Power Comes Responsibility.

“When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan.” – Proverbs 29:2 NLT

All of us long for power in some form or fashion. The thought of being weak and powerless is naturally repulsive to most of us. And the truth is, we all experience some kind of authority over someone or something else. The question is – how do we handle power when we have it? Are we fair and just or do we wield our power with pride, arrogance and in an abusive manner? Authority is a divine concept and God holds those in authority responsible for their actions. God gave Adam and Eve special responsibilities to care for and have authority over the creation. God gave Abraham authority as the father of a nation of people chosen by God. God gave Moses authority to lead those very same people out of captivity and into freedom. He gave the prophets authority to act as His spokespersons and proclaim His word to His rebellious people. God gave the disciples authority over demons, disease and even death. But all authority can be abused. We can utilize our positions of power or influence for good or bad. A parent can abuse their child, using their authority to destroy the heart and soul of the one they are to nurture and love. A boss can abuse their responsibility, taking advantage of his employees, overworking them while he underpays them. Politicians and rulers can abuse their authority, ignoring the needs of their constituents in favor of maintaining their party’s power and their own position.

The Proverbs have a lot to say about authority and Proverbs 29 is no exception. We are reminded that godly leadership is the best form of leadership. It causes those under it to rejoice. While the leadership of the ungodly produces pain and heartache in those who must bear up under it. According to God, the kind of leadership or authority He is looking for is just, fair, compassionate, and caring. In other words, God expects those with authority over others to practice His brand of leadership. He wants them to lead the way He leads. That means we must lead through love. We must discipline on occasion, but always out of love. We must judge at times, but always with love. We must guide and direct those under our care, but out of love, not anger.

Authority is a huge responsibility. Ultimately, those in authority will be held responsible by God for their actions. There is no place for pride, selfishness, greed, or self-gain. Those who hold positions of authority exist for the good of others. They hold the welfare of others in their hands, whether they lead a nation or a family. God watches over the helpless, hopeless, innocent, and powerless. He will hold those in authority responsible for the manner in which they rule, judge, lead, care for, and protect those under their care. And anyone who holds a position of authority is wise to recognize and to constantly remind themselves that God is the ultimate authority. He is the one who is in control of all things. All others report to Him. They owe their positions to Him. They get their right to rule from Him. So rule well. Lead wisely. Practice authority responsibly.

Father, the world is filled with irresponsible leaders who abuse their roles and take advantage of their authority, to the detriment of those under their care. Help me to see any authority I may have as God-given and to use it wisely, knowing full well that I am under Your authority. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 13b

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Choose Your Friends Wisely.

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” – Proverbs 13:20 NLT

What if you were to read the Proverbs as if our heavenly Father was writing these words specifically to us as His children? Consider the possibility that these are not really the words of Solomon to his son, but the counsel of God to His people. And they are far more than just simple maxims for life, but the divine advice of a wise and all-knowing God who is trying to equip His children to live life in this world. God knows there are two types of people in this world: Those who seek after Him and benefit from that relationship by gaining wisdom, knowledge, understanding, insight and common sense; and those who reject Him, living their lives as if He doesn’t exist and attempting to navigate life on their own wits and wherewithal.

God seems to be telling us to choose our friends carefully because they will have a tremendous influence on our lives. Those with whom we choose to spend our lives will end up impacting our lives in a dramatic manner – either positively or negatively. So choose wisely. In fact, God tells us that if we walk with the wise we will become more wise. The Hebrew word for walk is halak, and it can mean “to live your life.” It is as if God is saying, “If you want to increase in wisdom, as you go about your daily life, associate with wise people who love God.” Who we choose to surround ourselves with will play a major part in whether we end up more godly or less. This is not a command to completely disassociate ourselves from ungodly people, but to recognize that there is a potential danger in making them the primary relationships in our lives. But I really think that God is warning us to stay away from those who claim to be Christ-followers but who live like fools, ignoring the wisdom of God and choosing to live as if He doesn’t really exist. These people are a real danger to our faith walk. They appear to be like-minded, going to church and going through the motions of religious activity. But for all intents and purposes, they live as if God doesn’t exist. They ignore His Word, they refuse to listen to His commands, they love the world more than they do Him, and they rely on the wisdom of this world more than they do the wisdom available through an intimate relationship with God the Father. The danger of surrounding ourselves with these kinds of “fools” is that we feel safe. They make us feel comfortable. They say all the right things. They go to church. They pray. They may even go to Bible study with us. But in the end, they are pretenders. They talk a good game, but don’t walk the talk. They will slowly and subtly lull us into a sense of spiritual complacency. God warns us, “Associate with fools and get in trouble.” These people are a bad influence. They want all the blessings that God has to offer, but are to lazy to seek them (Proverbs 13:4, 11). They leave behind a wake of shame and disgrace from their actions (Proverbs 13:5). They are too proud to take advice (Proverbs 13:10, 13, 18). They are dangerously impulsive and lack discernment (Proverbs 13:16). They never see their hopes and dreams come about because they refuse to turn from evil (Proverbs 13:12, 19). They seemed plagued by trouble (Proverbs 13:21).

Why would you associate with people like this? Because they seem pleasant enough. They are good-natured, fun-loving, easy-going, and lower the bar of expectation so that you feel good about yourself. They don’t challenge you, correct you, push you, inspire you, or encourage you to greater things. They are content to live in spiritual mediocrity. But if you choose to surround yourself with the wise, you will inherently grow wiser. The wise are those who love God and who humbly live their lives in dependence upon Him. They are not perfect, but simply driven to know God better and better. They realize they can’t live the Christian life without Him. These kind of people inspire us, encourage us, uphold us, and sometimes even admonish us. They refuse to accept second-best from us. They are the ones who are growing in their knowledge of the Word. They pray for us. They confess sin to us. They are humble, selfless, kind, encouraging, inspiring, and sometimes even intimidating. But when we’re around them, we can’t help but want more out of life. So who have you surrounded yourself with? What kind of people are having the greatest impact and influence on your life? Choose your friends wisely.

Father, thank You for placing wise, godly friends in my life. Continue to help me select my friends carefully. They will play a significant role in helping me stay steady and on course as I live my life in this fallen world. Amen.

Ken Miller

Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 10b

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God’s Way: A Blessing and A Curse.

“The way of the Lord is a stronghold to those with integrity, but it destroys the wicked.” – Proverbs 10:29 NLT

Whether you believe in God or not has nothing to do with whether He exists or not. He exists and He is consistently God. He has a way about Him that impacts the life of every human being, regardless of whether they worship or ignore Him. God’s character is consistent and unchanging. He doesn’t surprise you by acting differently on one day than He did the day before. His “way” is reliable. Think of it like gravity. Gravity has a “way” about it. It is consistently the same, always influencing the lives of men equally and equitably. As long as you understand the “way” of gravity, you’ll do just fine. In fact, you will survive. But if you attempt to ignore gravity and act as it it doesn’t exist or have any influence over you, it will probably not go well with you. Whether you admit it or like it, you are under the influence of gravity each and every day of your life. As you walk around, you are being controlled by gravity. If you attempt to fly off the side of a cliff, you will find out just how real and powerful gravity can be.

In the same way, men and women who refuse to believe in God, attempt to live their lives as if He does not exist. They refuse to acknowledge and obey His “way.” They ignore His laws and commands. They want to act as if He is not even there. But like gravity, God does not go away. He is ALWAYS influencing the lives of men – both believing and non-believing. But there is real benefit to understanding God and His ways. When we learn to fear God for who He is and what He can do, we learn humility. We understand our powerlessness in the face of His infinite power. We learn to respect and appreciate Him for all that He does for us. For millenniums, mankind has tended to see gravity as restrictive. It kept us down and prevented us from soaring with the eagles. But in reality, it was the power that allowed us to survive on this planet. It literally kept us grounded. God is the same way. He is the power that keeps us grounded in life. In this chapter of Proverbs we have a long list of maxims and reminders of the benefits that come to those who recognize God for who He is, understand His ways and live according to them. We are told that they will not go hungry (10:3), they will be showered with blessings (10:6), they will be remembered well when they are gone (10:7), they accept instruction and discipline gladly (10:8, 17), walk safely (10:9), speak wisely (10:11, 13, 20-21, 31-32), treasure knowledge (10:14), enjoy the benefit of their labor (10:16), enjoy God’s blessing (10:22), find pleasure in living wisely (10:23), have their hopes fulfilled (10:24), survive the storms of life (10:25), experience happiness (10:28), and live life with an unwavering confidence in God regardless of what happens to them (10:30). But what about the ungodly? You can go back and read what happens to them, but I think you already know. If you choose to ignore God’s way, you will suffer the consequences. You can choose to believe He doesn’t exist, but it doesn’t make Him go away, and it doesn’t free you from His influence.

Father, You have made Yourself known to mankind in so many ways, but yet the majority of us on this planet still refuse to acknowledge Your existence. There are still millions upon millions of people who want to act as if You don’t exist or matter. But even more sadly, there are far too many of us who claim to believe in You who still refuse to live according to Your way. Open our eyes and help us see the tremendous benefits that come from living according to Your way. Amen

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org

Proverbs 4

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Wiseheart.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23 NLT

All this talk of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding could easily leave the impression that Solomon is obsessed with intelligence. It sounds like he is simply trying to encourage his son to get a good education, learn all that he can learn, and apply all that knowledge to living a good life. But Solomon is wise enough to know that there is more to this picture than mere intelligence or IQ. He is talking about a way of life that is based on much more than just book learning. All throughout the Proverbs Solomon contrasts two ways of life, to lifestyles. One is marked by wickedness and foolishness. The other is marked by wisdom and righteousness. But the difference isn’t just about one person knowing more than the other. It is the fact that one knows God better than the other. At the end of the day, this is a heart issue. When Solomon pleads his son, and all young people, to “get wisdom” and “don’t turn your back on wisdom,” he is really telling them to pursue God, because He is the source of all wisdom.

In this Proverb, Solomon refers to “the way” multiple times. He describes life as a journey and we have choices regarding which path we will take as we live our lives. He says, “Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers. Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way. Turn away and keep moving” (Proverbs 4:14-15 NLT). He compares the way of the righteous and the way of the wicked. One ends in light, the other in darkness. But then Solomon provides us with the key. He says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 14:23 NLT). It is our heart that will determine whether we go the way of the righteous or the way of the wicked. It is our heart that will determine whether we seek God’s way or the world’s. So we need wise hearts, not brave hearts. We need heart knowledge, not head knowledge. God wants to renew our hearts and change the way we think, act, speak, and live. Without heart change, all efforts to live wisely will be short-lived and end up in nothing more than behavior modification. When Solomon says, “Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech” (Proverbs 4:24 NLT), he knows he is asking the impossible unless our hearts are changed by God. We will gravitate toward perverse talk and corrupt speech without wise hearts. And only God can give us wise hearts. Only God gives us the ability to make wise choices. Solomon closes his Proverb with these words: “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil” (Proverbs 4:25-27 NLT). Without a wise heart, that is impossible. God gives us the capacity to know right from wrong, good from evil. He equips us with not only the knowledge to make good choices, but the ability to do so. He changes our hearts. Head knowledge is not enough. Heart knowledge is what we need. Wise hearts and brave souls – men and women living life according to God’s terms and in the power of God’s Spirit.

Father, give us wise hearts. Change us from the inside out. Don’t let us be satisfied with head knowledge. I don’t want to just know about You, I want to really know You so that I might live in a way that pleases You. Amen

Ken Miller
Grow Pastor & Minister to Men
kenm@christchapelbc.org